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kewwwi@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 396 points –
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I don't know which of you degenerates need to hear this, but: DO NOT FUCK THE PINEAPPLE!

I'm afraid to ask, but you seem experienced, so here goes: why not?

Just a shot in the dark here... But pineapple enzymes are strong enough to eat the skin inside your mouth...

Now imagine that but on the much more sensitive skin of your dick

Pineapple is so metal, fucking fruit that tries to eat you back.

Maybe it'll feel like those little fish that eat the dead skin off your hands?

The juice is highly acidic to the point of being able to tenderize meats without assistance

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

It's actually not (just) the acidity. Pineapples and several other tropical fruits have an enzyme called papain that breaks down peptide bonds in a rather unique way, to the point that the texture of the meat can become quite off-putting if the enzyme is not used properly

Edit: acidic or not, it's definitely best not to put any sensitive parts of your anatomy in pineapple juice

I wonder if those tenderizing properties are what make people swear by pineapple slices on pizza and burgers

Knowing how much Hawaiians love spam, they're probably over the moon for accompanying elements that can compliment or add to or even concentrate those porkey and salty flavors

The ham on pizza is sweet though, imo not a good match. My preference is pineapple, pepperoni (or chicken), and jalapenos. Get spicy, sweet, and salty all on one slice, ето заебись.

ham on pizza is sweet

What? Where? Ham isn't supposed to be sweet.

Nah there's ways to prepare ham to be on the sweeter side, haven't heard of it being done that way for pizza though. Usually it's for a deli cut or charcuterie plate.

There is a whole franchise in the US called Honey Baked Ham. Americans love their sugar.

My preference is pineapple, black olives, and onions.

The black olives give the same salty as meats, so it works out quite nicely. I’m not typically into spicy pizza, but onions and pineapple go nicely together when cooked, imho.

Pineapple-Chicken-Cheese (Gouda) makes an awesome sandwich. With Pizza I am an minimalist and almost only eat Margherita.

Pepperoni pineapple pizza (PPP?) is underrated. Bonus points for mushroom and jalapeno. And maybe onion.

I’d like to be known as someone who “tenderizes meats without assistance”, that seems like a compliment of the highest order

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

Sentences you never thought you’d read.

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It's juice is very acidic and will not feel good when it gets inside your urethra.

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