Planetary travel guide

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 603 points –
45

S tier…? This place?

S tier for environs but C for inhabitants. A or B tier at best

Most inhabitants are great, you just have get to know them a a bit...but avoid those tall hairless monkeys, those things are vicious.

Imagine a species destroying its own habitat. Totally nuts.

Since when has not experiencing something, or even having any knowledge of something, prevented the internet from expressing their opinions about it?

Since this meme was created. But only for a short moment.

And that moment lasted as long as the theoretical "now".

("Now" never happens because the moment your brain registers that "now" has happened, it's already "then")

("Now" never happens because the moment your brain registers that "now" has happened, it's already "then")

If a tree falls in the forest...

TBH I'd give earth a B or a C.

I feel like there must be a better planet out there somewhere.

The planet is great. It's the fucking occupants that are a problem.

Nah. It used to be an A, but some recent updates have kicked it down to a C. If you want a real A tier planet try Cromdomulom 12.

I mean it could be better, though. Could do with fewer natural disasters, or perhaps another continent in the Pacific so it isn't so empty. Or maybe burritos that grow on trees and a mild concentration of opium in the air. That's the Earth I'd want to live on.

Occupants come with the planet package.. so wouldn't that lower its rank?

This is missing a lot of planets.

Are you talking about exoplanets, or the "just admit that every round solid object in space is a planet and there are a lot more than nine in the solar system" planets?

Pluto is here, so minor planets count. That leaves at least Eris, Haumea, Makemake, Gonggong, Quaoar, Sedna, Ceres, Orcus, and Salacia as vacation candidates.

There are 19 more planetary-mass moons to consider as well, if orbital designation isn't important to your stay. (I'd say it's a bonus, as you can see some sick eclipses.)

I want to know more about gonggong

Is it pretty? Would I freeze or boil if I visited? What souvenirs should I bring back? Do I need to take my own water and oxygen or can I buy it there? How much fuel would I need to use if I wanted to push it into a more temperate orbit?

Gonggong is named after a Chinese water god, and it does indeed have it's own ice. It's also red, covered in thiolins like Pluto, but even moreso. There's also likely a thin methane exosphere, leaving methane frost on windows.

Gonggong is very far out, moving between 33 and 101 AU over it's 554 year orbit. It orbits at a 30° inclination, so telescopes would pick up some interesting shots of the other planets poles.

The 1/30 g gravity is nothing special, plenty to jump around in, but enough to not fly away easily. It's slightly flattened by it's rotation, which is a nice 22 hours, much slower than other trans-neptunian bodies. This slow rotation is caused by tidal forces between it and it's moon Xiangilu.

Xiangilu is named for Gonggong's minister, a nine headed venomous snake monster. It orbits every 25 days, nearly exactly a month like Earth's moon, but in an eccentric orbit, changing size throut the month. Gonggong has a polar orientation like Uranus as well, leaving Xiangilu a constant half-moon in the dim sky half the year. Sadly eclipses would be very rare.

The trip out there is rather long, but once there it seems quite unique and cozy.

Oh that does sound really nice actually, I'll book a trip. I really like the sound of the moon changing size, would add a lot of variety to the sky. I would ask what time of year you suggest visiting but since they're over 500 earth years I don't really have the option.

You should definitely bring back the gongs.

"Humiliating... Yet another massive W for the Earth, easily the best planet in the universe."

S tier? This place is like a C at best. There are some S tier places but there are some G tier places too.

100% of S tier places are located on that planet, seems fair to me

I guess it depends on what you consider an S tier space. I haven't been to Jupiter but I hear they have a cyclone on the pole surrounded by 5 other cyclones. Being in orbit of that would be a (for lack of a better word) religious experience.

i feel like any place that would kill me without some serious life support systems going on is automatically somewhere B or below

maybe that’s controversial but that’s just my personal take 🙃

I'd readily risk death for the opportunity to be one of the first people to see Jupiter with their own eyes.

I don't know about anyone else, however I have seen your anus.

How's my piles? They're a bit sore, but I'm hoping the cream is brining them down a bit....

Every other planet looks like shit. Another W for Earth, the best planet in the universe! (as far as we know)

It could be broken down into a couple of further categories somewhere in the middle:

  1. Where probes have landed - Venus, Moon, Mars, Titan, a couple of asteroids/comets.
  2. Where probes have only flown past - Mercury, a few asteroids/comets, Jupiter and its' main moons, Saturn and its' moons (except Titan, see above), Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Ultima Thule (now officially named 486958 Arrokoth).

EDIT: on further thought, there's another one in between those two.
Where probes have orbited - Mercury, Venus, Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn.

A few decades from now we'll plant this meme on Mars on the first manned mission lol.

Is that Callisto down there? 🤔

I thought that too as there is 1 planet too many, but now I think Pluto is the extra. The one between Mars and Neptune is Mercury