Chick-fil-A is reportedly launching a streaming service. Nobody wants this.

restingboredface@sh.itjust.works to Not The Onion@lemmy.world – 245 points –
Chick-fil-A is reportedly launching a streaming service. Nobody wants this.
mashable.com

???

27

Project 2025 watch alert

Streaming "woke" Homophobic Chicken right to your home. Nope.

How is homophobic "woke"?

I was checking to see if I recalled correctly that CF-Lay was homophobic. And they are/ were. But the original owner passed away, so who knows now. However now they are being accused of being "woke" by whoever makes that discernment, maybe because of an overt stance claiming to be more inclusive. All the same, I avoid fast food chain restaurants because of my interest in eating well, and living healthy.

Funny how being nice to others is something that's perceived as bad by the right.

I guess you just have to be nice only to the "right" people.

Nah. BUNCH of white folk who can't stop talking about how great the service is at chik fil a and how they teach people to respect customers will lap this up. Same with the people who insist that chikfila makes the best chicken on the planet because even a single spec of spice would give them an upset tum-tum and the pickle marinade means they can overcook the white meat without turning it into powder.

People are probably too young to remember but there was very much a time when fox news was "center right" compared to CNN's "center left" and was mostly billed around being "fair and balanced". Shit like this is an attempt to get conservative-lite programming out there in preparation for the inevitable push back of mask off bigotry after November.

Guess it'll be called chick-a-flix. Or if its porn. Fil-a-chick

Net-Chix.

And they’ll be surprised that people cancel after the trial because they couldn’t find any porn.

In my head I imagine it all religious based streaming, like those weird religious channels you can pick up on your tv over the air.

Oh yeah. I betcha that stuff is "surprisingly" still unlicensed for streaming, and lands there right away.

Besides the fact nobody wants this, With who's content?

Remember the Geico caveman commercial they turned into a sitcom? It'll be original content just like that, but with sentient cows instead.

Edit: I believe what I have described is called Back at the Barnyard (2007-2011)

Their own original content apparently 🤣

"Kevin Sorbo is Hercules Jesus"

"Dean Cain and Jim Cavezal star in Anti-Justice Warriors"

Oh now I get it.. and a hulk Hogan reality soap like Ozzy Osbourne used to do.. but then with more shirt tearing.

He's already been there, before Ozzy, if I recall.

It’ll be cooking shows on how to make everything taste like it was soaked in pickle juice for thirty years , and then served up with a side of smug Christian pretension.

They're not paying much per half hour, only $400k, maybe this makes sense lol? They'd only need to make $590k per half hour, which for, say, 50 hours total of original content (it is a chicken restaurant after all) with a $5/mo subscription over five years equates to only 23k subscribers averaged over those five years for an over 8% ROI, which given how many people sign up for these $/mo streaming services doesn't seem insane.

This is a chicken fastfood right ? wtf ?

Yeah - the fastfood chicken place that hates gay marriage.

The Venn diagram of those that would watch a Chick Fil A streaming service, NCAA College football families and fans of Professional wrestling is a complete circle

They learned this trick from Disney?