Woman defends charging family £150 for Christmas Day dinner

USA ONE@lemmy.world to News@lemmy.world – 53 points –
Woman defends charging family £150 for Christmas Day dinner
independent.co.uk
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If you can't afford to host, don't host.

Or do a potluck.

You could certainly argue that everyone agreeing to just pay one family member to cook and "host" is a kind of a potluck, if she didn't admit to making a tidy profit off of it and wasn't clearly pressuring her family into it.

Spending almost two grand for a dinner for 15 people isn't just hosting, though. That's a really extravagant meal.

Depends on the family. Perhaps she is the best cook of them all and everyone wants to eat there instead of at the house of the family member who is wealthier but a terrible cook and lives in a small apartment.

If I hosted a holiday meal and made most of the stuff myself, I'd accept small amounts to cover stuff in the form of gift cards or something, but the thought of demanding anything, or accepting cash just feels gross.

If it was a burden, I'd ask for assistance or for someone else to host. Or make it "bring a dish for everyone" style.

I know someone who demanded 25¢ for the cost of text message sent to invite them for a dinner cooked for them that they were eating.... while they were literally stuffing their mouth with food that cost way more than a quarter. They did not get invited to another impromptu gathering after that.

Some people have no understanding or awareness.

I think, if the oven were still hot, I'd show them the quarter, toss it in the oven, and say "youll be able to get your money when the oven cools down from the food I made for you." and see if there's even a hint of a glimmer of a spark of recognition that maaaaybe they should have shut the fuck up about 25 cents.

Definitely never getting another invite.

No, if you're hosting then you're hosting. People can bring food if it's a potluck, otherwise I'm the fucking chef and I create the menu. Everybody relies on me to create good food. It's not just my responsibility. It's my right and my privilege.

I'll go to somebody else's place another time and I sure won't be offering any money, just like I'm not accepting any when I host.

You went 0-100 and hostile completely unnecessarily, my dude. Maybe take a moment to reflect on why.

My sister never asks or expects compensation for hosting Christmas, but I always give her a gift card with something on it for local stores. She's been kind enough to prepare everything so we don't have to, I'll be kind and give a little food budget back. It's not a lot, certainly not enough to cover the meal, but it's something to show I appreciate it more than (what could be hollow) words. It's something I choose to do, and nobody is gonna make me feel bad over it.

Super weird energy in this comment

This is exactly how not to navigate social situations. Learn to understand nuance

If it's such a damb hassle, don't host the party, fucking people.

Does the family really expect that she "just so" spends £1800 on feeding them all out of her own pocket? If the (probably extended) family does not like it, maybe they should host the family dinner instead of having one person do it every year.

The video won’t play for me, but I’m getting the sense that this was agreed upon ahead of time. If that’s the case, then whatever. Families are weird. If people were informed and went into it voluntarily, let them do their thing. They’re adults.

If a friend or family member wanted to put on an extravagant dinner like that and have guests contribute to the food costs, I would be all for it. I'd much rather that than spend the same amount at a fancy restaurant.

Her family should RSVP with a host of other family members and then not show up.

If I were her in family, I’d host a separate free dinner for the rest of the family who weren’t such heifers.

Bold of her to think any of them will be willing to pay.

i wouldn't even bother going.

oh, you made me a plate anyway? well fuck that, i ain't paying. enjoy the leftovers.

If I was doing a feast of the seven fishes, in my financial situation, I'd ask my family for money too. Probably about that much, too, since I'd be getting the good wine. We're doing souvlaki instead.

Ms Bellucci’s menu includes champagne, smoked salmon, caviar and turkey

So don't serve expensive champagne and caviar. Thanksgiving does not have to cost $100+ a person.

But this title and messaging misses another point they seemed to be making, that many woman get stuck with the obligation and don't actually get to enjoy the holiday, so they might as well get paid for it. Seems like the easy answer is that everyone pitches in and helps. Seems odd to charge people instead of just setting the expectation that everyone shares the burden.

Meg couldn't give a shit.

If they are expected to host and money is tight why not. Family can just not go.

Maybe don't serve champagne, smoked salmon and caviar if money is tight.

Or you cut the menu down. Like fast and the furious, it's about family.

I really doubt the caviar is a family tradition that absolutely needs to stay or the whole meal is ruined. 15 people is a lot but I could 100% do a meal for them on a quarter of the budget. Even less if they were close enough to bring food.

I thought this is how everyone did it...the host makes the turkey and main fixings, everyone else brings desserts and appetizers. Someone doesn't know how to delegate...

"Ever since great Great Aunt Boris brought her bear to Christmas, with freshly caught, sturgeon and smoked salmon still between it's teeth, which we really don't know how the bear smoked, we've had smoked salmon and caviar for Christmas dinner."