Any lurkers here still mostly lurking?

praxician@sh.itjust.works to [Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation@lemmy.world – 101 points –

It's so weird how Lemmy feels like old reddit and that was when I was more active but as reddit grew I began to lurk more except in four different communities. It's still hard to not lurk here. I frequently will type a comment or make a post and delete it, haha. Anybody else experiencing this?

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Yeah but you just gotta do it. Post that comment or post. We gotta build this community for us. I have a tendency to not be as social able on social media vs IRL. Mainly because I'll second guess myself. But we gotta keep this place alive

My lurking comes from mostly not being able to articulate exactly what I want to say sometimes. Like yeah, I know how this random thread makes me feel and I have an idea of what I want to say, but when I try to put it into actual, tangible words that make sense, I just end up sitting there for ten or fifteen minutes trying to word it out before I give up and move on lol. I'm trying to be better at it though, like force myself to post or comment something sometimes. Surely the more times I do, the better I'll be at it right?? ¯\(ツ)/¯

Same here. Sometimes I want to be concise and end up with a whole paragraph trying to convey something.

Exactly, I tend to find myself rambling when I don't want to.

I do the exact same thing, but it typically doesn't stop me. Just makes me take half an hour and multiple edits on everything I've ever said. I'm well aware that I ramble. As long as paragraphs are separated, that's what y'all are gonna get, voluntarily hanging out on a text-based forum. Very few people have whined, and if they want twitter-length messages, there are now several twitter-likes for them to join.

The real worst part is typing up a message to contradict or ask for clarification on something I don't understand, and then in carefully typing it, I end up explaining it to myself and I no longer need to ask. Never mind, then.

I constantly do the ‘type it out and delete’ move, both on Reddit and slightly getting there here. I’m just an anxious sort who’s thinking ‘surely no one wants to read this’ ¯\(ツ)/¯

Or that they'll vehemently reject what you say instead of helpfully explaining their perspective and why you might be wrong. That's always fun.

I'll have a big thing typed out and then think about if anyone would care. Usually I didn't think anyone would. So many discarded drafts.

Yeah, I have significant lurker tendencies. It will take me a while to break out of the habit I think

OP you are inherently not a lurker because you have made this post

I mostly lurk unless I think of something to say that's interesting, additive, it funny. There's no point in replying to a post if you have nothing at all to say - that's just meaningless filler. That's extra true for OC posts.

I never understood lurking. How can you just sit back and observe without ever engaging? Do you have no thoughts? Are you embarrassed? Lazy? We will never know because once the lurkers answer, they are no longer lurking. 😌

As someone who usually lurks on most forums, it's a combination of not really being completely comfortable with the culture and group dynamics of smaller communities, and also just never feel compelled to add something. Usually I just see someone else has said something pretty close to what I was thinking and I just shrug and say "eh, close enough" and move on.

I'm gonna be honest with you, I dislike the attitude of "I never understood sth" followed by confrontational and accusational language. Maybe you did not intend to be hostile, but you're much less likely to get a straight answer with that tone. You're much more likely to trigger "I know, right!?" responses by people already sharing your opinion/impression.

Seems like you already made up your mind about lurkers apparently. Let me tell you why I mostly lurk. I guess this applies to others as well.

  • Just because people don't engage on social media does not mean they don't engage in other parts of life.
  • Engaging takes effort, time and energy. Many people don't have those to spare.
  • Contributions are also is not guaranteed to get positive feedback. Discussions with people holding different opinions is difficult for some people (various reasons). Open hostility is also a possibility.
  • Some (I guess most) people are not here to have discussions at all, just to consume. They are not primarily looking for a community, but entertainment or news. They have other priorities / more important things to do.

Maybe you actually were interested in an honest answer. Here it is.

Im often socially awkward around people I don't know well, and I have had many failed attempts to get past it. After a while I usually participate more.

I lurked after neverrrr getting any activity on posts and comments. I only had like one marginally successful post on reddit

I hate myself and I'm pretty sure others will too if I let them get to know me.

I mean, I'm seeing your name in literally every feed I click on, so that's some dedication!

I'm certainly just lazy, and often people have said what I am wanting to say more effectively than I can

I am commenting more but I will never find it easy to post. Way too much emotional commitment for me.

Given its much smaller user base, it's a lot more likely that a human will see your post before it scrolls off of page 1 on Lemmy. There's a little less futility to posting

Even just a that's looks nice because of the way it is helps. No need to over think it and have to be deep. Any activity helps grow communities.

I used to lurk on reddit but have been much more active here.

Basically if I'm on kbin, I try to comment or post if I have a reason

I've made an effort to just post the random crap that I think of because heck, we need activity

I am moderating a whole damn community. I never reached this level on reddit. I still touch grass I swear. Also its a tiny community that no one really interacts with but me

What’s your community? I’m trying to stop being such a lurker as I would like lemmy to succeed!

Yup. I pretty much only lurked on Reddit, Twitter and all those techbro sites. But trying to engage and become more active since defederating (is that even a word?).

I was somewhat active on Reddit but now I just lurk here. None of the subreddits I was active in have an analogous community here, and I'm not willing to start and moderate one. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I feel this as well - the responsibility to make the communities more lively. Well, it's not much but it's mine.

I used to just use Reddit anonymously and had an account if I really needed to ask something. This is not the case with Kbin/Lemmy as I am on my account most of the time. But old habits die hard so I am trying to participate some more

I find it easier to comment on stuff if I just plop something down and send it. It's easier to just express an opinion in the moment. It helps that you can see the responses people put too, keeps it interesting.

This would be my first comment. I mostly lurked on Reddit, probably here too. For me, I more appreciate the aggregated content and don't really want to take the time to engage in discussion as I try to minimize my overall screen time.

Yeah, early days of reddit when it was attainable to hit the front page made me much more of an active user. One time I had a meme that had 6000+ up votes in a short time, it was already front page of advice animals, and then the mods removed it. Pricks.

And then another time I had a strong post on DIY, and the mods removed it because I put a comment under one of my pictures that said "and then I cut it to fit." and they didn't think that was descriptive enough. Dicks.

And when I think I really became disillusioned with creating posts was when during the miss universe pageant, one of the women wore a dress where the fabric was made a print of flags of the world. So I posted it to vexillology, and it was getting good interactions. Only problem, someone else had posted a different picture of the dress moments before I did. Removed. After that, mostly just boring comments here and there.

yup, I also find myself lurking here a lot too. When I was on Reddit, I'd usually comment on a bunch of niche subreddits and avoid commenting on subs similar to the communities that are currently growing here on the fediverse haha. I'm trying to change that tho, I'd like to contribute as much as I can so this place can keep growing bigger

Don't be afraid to ask questions if you need help. I've found that those get a lot of responses, since lot of people are eager to help or give recommendations. People aren't sure what to talk about, but if it's something they know then they can get chatty.

Those type of threads also ended up being the most useful back on reddit, since they'd be the type I'd see pop up in search engines when I was looking for a question myself.

I'd never delete a post after submitting it, but I do find myself not finishing a comment when I feel it's not worth the effort. I have been trying to get more people to post in my community so I don't have to, though 😅

Kinda depends on the time and day for me. I looooove being more active on here, but I usually try to keep myself from doing much more than lurking during the workday, otherwise I won't get anything done.

I've always been more of a lurker unless I've specifically got something to add. I still think usually there's not a lot to say, even here, but I have found a fair number of conversations and communities to comment in here. I think it's a healthy balance

I feel the same, I was only ever a lurker on Reddit. It's lot easier to have something to contribute on these smaker communities when each post doesn't already have a thousand comments :)