Amazon Let Its Drivers’ Urine Be Sold as an Energy Drink

SquiffSquiff@lemmy.sdf.org to Not The Onion@lemmy.world – 318 points – Amazon Let Its Drivers’ Urine Be Sold as an Energy Drink
wired.com

Amazon sold bottles of urine marketed as an energy drink, a new documentary reveals. The company also makes it alarmingly easy to sell dangerous items to children.

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Not surprising in the least. I was part of an Amazon product review program, but I stopped participating after seeing multiple posts for pet treats that contained ingredients that are harmful to dogs. Reporting the listings was a nightmare, and they were never taken down.

Fuck you, Amazon.

Not sure if I want to blame Amazon or just pet food companies.

I had two cats. My first cat died around 4 years. The vet tried her best. The second cat was hitting the same symptoms and went on a special vet diet and still lives.

I got two new cats later. Decide to feed them supermarket pet food. Same symptoms as the prior cats around the same age.

I now feed them expensive cat foods that's 3x the cost. They have been happy and healthy.

I know not everyone can afford it. But I highly suspect that modern cheap catfood is full of bad shit.

What was the pet food that hurt your cats? What pet food do you give them now?

Not the person you responded to, but my vet strongly urged me to transition my cats to primarily wet food, saying that the cheapest wet food is still better than the best dry food. I could go on and on and on, but to be brief, they provide different ratios of carbs:protein (cats are obligate carnivores and require almost zero carbs) and cats that eat primarily wet food are much more likely to be adequately hydrated.

The cheap pet food at supermarkets. Anything Purina. I'd argue any supermarket pet food, but I'm not a animal nutritionist.

I currently buy pet food from small pet food stores that have a wider variety. Currently I feed them this 4-ingredient dry cat food that costs like 4x times the supermarket price, and daily wet food recommended by the vet.

I used to work at a vet clinic. Almost all the cats with new urinary blockages ate fancy feast, cat chow, or some similar Wal-Mart brand.

I would feel bad even feeding feral cats that crap.

To give them a very tiny sliver of credit, they did pull a good number of the radioactive "quantum healing" quackery they were selling... after it got attention of course.

Wish on the other hand....

So many radioactive products instructed to be worn over major arteries in one place for extended periods of time. What could go wrong?..

Humans are burning down the wrong Amazon.

I just learned that the Amazon tablet/e-reader thing is literally called Amazon Fire. Like... Seriously. It's a little on the nose, no? Like Bezos and his team KNOW and sell this shit to people laughing all the way to the bank and people just line up. I'm so done with this world.

The e-reader is the Kindle. But that's just how they started the Fire.

Oh shit that completely slipped my mind, but I'm not really all that up to speed with Amazon products.

That's fair. Honestly, it was kind of a dumb move on their part to name their tablets "Kindle Fire" on release, as it confused almost everyone with what was an e-reader and what wasn't. By the time they returned it to just "Fire" / "Fire Tablet" to match other product families (Fire Phone, Fire TV), the damage was done. The only reason I can keep it straight is the fact that I worked on them for a decade.

I mean it's kind of genius marketing though, just straight up comically villainous/evil, like we're living in a cartoon. One of the top 3, if not the top 1, companies has branches called "The Amazon Fire" while we're literally fucking burning the rainforests in Amazon down. Amazon Kindle, Amazon Fire. That shit is just evil.

I never thought of it this way but yeah... That made it through a bunch of levels in their company and no one there thought of it either. Wow...

Don't forget the Amazon FireTV stick.

That one is very good. It's mine now thanks

Could always build something home-made rocket launchers and incindiary missiles and launch from a distance

Or you could yeet a molotov cocktail at an amazon warehouse but tuat requires you to be closer and is more riskier

/s

This is a joke NSA, CIA, ASIO, etc

But inside, each bottle was filled with urine allegedly discarded by Amazon delivery drivers and collected from plastic bottles by the side of the road.

That didn’t stop Amazon from listing it for sale, though. Release even attained number one bestseller status in the “Bitter Lemon” category.

Absolutely amazing.

(No members of the public were actually sent driver urine; instead Butler corralled a group of friends into making the purchases.)

That's good. But the fact that someone could buy it and get sent urine via Amazon is horrifying.

Knowing that Amazon processes returns based on the weight of the incoming packages, he sends back buckets of sand to get his money back—attempting to shield himself from legal liability for fraud by running everything through a shell company in Belize.

They STILL do this? I remember people saying they buy refurbished or open-box graphics cards and received bricks. That was more than a decade ago.

Also this part

“I thought that the food and drinks licensing would stop me from listing it, so I started it out in this Refillable Pump Dispenser category. Then the algorithm moved it into drinks.”

They STILL do this? I remember people saying they buy refurbished or open-box graphics cards and received bricks. That was more than a decade ago.

They'll keep doing it until it stops being cost effective. The fact is that the number of fraudsters are drastically outnumbered by good actors, and compared to their revenue, a few missing graphics cards are literally nothing

Oobah is fucking hilarious yet incredibly illuminating on issues that you don't hear much about. Ghost kitchens, snooty haute couture, and now selling body fluids to stay afloat. Wild.

There are limits to these 'not the onion' jokes...

Edit after reading:

OK, at least none were actually sold to unaware people to drink, thank god!!!

Though to think Amazon was more than ready to sell them tho...

They should stop hiring screenwriters from black mirror