Let lemmyshitpost decide...

ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 317 points –
34

Green

I can handle being the weird dude that takes super loud shits in public bathrooms. That'll just make people leave me alone.
I can't handle making my girlfriend feel like shit every time we're intimate. That would be debilitating to our relationship.

I'd take *red, easy. I'd just explain that it's just a thing that happens once and I'd be set.

also like.. many people already live with it lmao

the absolute state of people's digestive health

Whoops I meant red. I'd explain the crying thing to my wife once and be done with it.

Green will quickly result in having no girlfriend though, unless you come up with some scheme to allow you to never poop in the same building as her.

I don't mind a bit of construction work. Wouldn't be hard to tear down the drywall in the bathroom and pack the stud walls with Rockwool soundproofing insulation. And also swap the door out for a double-thickness solid core sound-deadening door with a sealing sweep. That's like a couple weekend's worth of work max.

Also she is an absolute saint and would probably be fine dealing with it to stay with me.

So seither i embaress myself everytime i shit or nothing happens?

Embarrass? Dominate your dook dome. Yell with a nice, themly yell that says to everyone "that's a shit that's gonna take at least one flush"

I already scream when I poop. It's not that big of a deal.

Wife in the other room: Are you ok!?

Me: Just prayin'

ooAAAAAAAAAAA we're halfway there

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

livin on a prayer

Green.

There are ways to dampen and quiet down the screaming.
Since you probably always poop alone, you can use external tools and no one will know.

So green can with experimenting and time lead to almost no side effects.

Red

Added bonus: I'll never cry.

Sometimes i wonder whether people are just joking or if there are really so many sex starved people out there.

There's a lot of us. Extreme shyness and such. Doesn't matter how cute and handsome you are, if you're too chickenshit to go talk to the girl smiling at you from across the bar. It's also difficult to know if she's really into you, she could just be Canadian. :D And then you have all the incels whom I really don't understand. But they have a whole subreddit, if you wanna go take a dip in the cesspool.

I don't remember clicking those both buttons at the same time ... :|