5 Moves to Rulemate

Gork@lemm.ee to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 369 points –
45

First of all: That's not how you play chess (left image).

The "error" is designed to boost engagement, which makes the post more visible on social media.
And it works.

It’s not how YOU play chess. πŸ˜‚

Chaos. πŸ’£

This is merely a small step towards the heat death of the universe, but a big one from humanity.

Nuh-uh! You touched it, so now you have to follow through. We're playing tournament rules.

β€œThat move has left me wide open”

"This isn't my favorite starting position, but I'll see if I can maneuver things to get better leverage."

You can say anything you fucking want in either context.

i'm going to grin and say checkmate the next time my bf and i

and i'm going to moan and say i'm cumming the next time i'm about to either beat someone or lose to someone in chess

You could also say, for instance, "I believe the autumn's coming in late this year", and what's he going to do? Stop you?

lol knowing my bf if i said something like that he'd say something like "actually i'm pretty sure winter's coming" before he does

Homeboy is dick-deep making a detailed meteorological forecast, my man's got a mind like a steel trap

There's no way you came up with that move yourself, you're cheating!

Pretty by-the-book so far, let's get interesting.

That's not fast enough to get a promotion.

Go ahead, take me. See what happens.

In Polish you can say, sometimes You're pushing a Queen, sometimes You're beating a horse, which are coloquialisms for having sex and masturbating.

The English phrase "beating a dead horse" must be fantastic knowledge for Polish schoolboys.

There's a lot of things you could say there, they would just result in your expulsion from the chess club.

Patience, please, while I consider my next move.