Well, there’s the obvious will, but since it doesn’t specify how you die: an advanced directive.
An advanced directive is a document wherein you, while living and conscious and with control of your mental faculties, detail end of life care in the event that you are not capable of providing informed consent. You can detail how much and what kind of resuscitative or palliative efforts are made, assign someone you trust to make medical decisions for you, and what to do with your body.
DNRs (do not resuscitate, meaning no CPR done on you if your heart stops) are parts of advance directives and if you are serious about one make sure it gets into your medical chart: EMS personnel MUST provide CPR if it isn’t official.
If your family/friends situation is poor, contentious, and/or you can’t trust them to make the right choices for you medically, this can save you a painful death. Unfortunately, a lot of end of life “care” is the family’s attempt at prolonging the heartbeat of a nearly dead person because they can’t accept loss.
If your situation is good, it can still be a huge load off people’s minds to know that there’s a plan being followed, and it can prevent any rifts from forming. Even though you won’t see it, it’s a kindness to your loved ones to give them some peace of mind during what is often a chaotic and confusing time.
Since your response is matches my thoughts the best
An independent executor so your friend or family member isn’t burdened with cleaning up after you while they are still hurt. Also leaves those you live out of the fighting.
Itemize your possessions. Maybe have your friends and family speak up and mention what they would want. Pointedly ask them. This avoids you leaving that green elephant to someone who didn’t want it when you want it to go somewhere it would be appreciated.
Label things you want individual people to have. My aunt used dot stickers. Made it so simple.
An independent executor so your friend or family member isn’t burdened with cleaning up after you while they are still hurt.
I don't know about that. It'll depend on your circumstances but it's asking a lot of a friend? My partner is getting everything and he is my executor because all the decisions should be his and because he knows where everything is. I don't really like the idea of someone else poking through my stuff, either. Or putting him through someone else poking through our stuff.
A letter accusing your worst enemy of your murder, to be sent to the media in the event that you stop resetting your dead man's switch.
A script that deletes all of your online information.
Would you even care if you're dead anyway? Maybe some far descendant can stumble across my posts and put them in his family history folder.
I don’t like the idea of all my conversations online being right there word for word for my family to see without my ability to give any context .
Theoretically though, if youre already dead, would it even matter? To me, what youre describing would be the same as if, say, your grandkids or whatever descendants ended up finding a photoalbum filled with pics of you and letters you wrote to friends and family and such. There would be no outside context from you but it could still be a nice heirloom for your grandkids/great grandkids to remember you by and learn a bit about what type of person you were.
For the entirety of human existence, people have not been privy to word for word conversations for large swaths of all their friends and family. I’m not sure I’m ready to just accept that new reality.
Meh, I'd be more likely to make a script to upload all my remaining information. Not like I got any accounts anyone could use for any personal gain, I'm more of an internet historian archiving old software and stuff.
If it was never intended to be public, you might screw other living people over in the process. Think: revenge porn.
Yeah, but I just said, I archive software and stuff.
My pecker is too tiny for a bit of data. Or is it?... 🤔
Yeah and what to do with your online accounts.
... and then reddit undeletes it
Are they doing that with everyone removing their content lately? So much for having control of your user account and persona.
Instructions on how to contact any online acquaintances or communities that should be informed of your death
According to someone I met recently who shared way too much -- a will. Apparently her husband passed away unexpectedly and it has been a nightmare getting everything sorted.
get your will in check too!
A direct cremation plan. And instructions to not have your ashes interred in a graveyard or funeral home. It'll save your loved ones thousands of dollars, and save them from being exploited by the multi-billion dollar funeral industry.
hold on explain in more detail what should be done
Okay, so:
Direct cremation is a very specific thing that morticians are obligated to provide, at risk of losing their license if they refuse. It costs less than a thousand bucks (but usually a lot less), and they don't make a lot of money off of it. So, they're unlikely to offer that service unless you use those specific words: DIRECT CREMATION.
What that means is your body is cremated, and your loved ones get your remains back in a plastic bag in a box. They can spread your ashes wherever you want. Or flush you down the toilet. But they probably shouldn't do that, because there's bits of bone in there and that would be really awkward to explain to a plumber. But you get the idea.
Funeral directors will attempt to take advantage of your family's grief to upsell them on virtually everything imaginable. I mean, you loved X, didn't you? Don't they deserve the best? They're monsters. When my brother died our parents were ready to hand over $15,000 to those ghouls for nothing. I intervened, and the same service they wanted was possible for around $800.
Fuck funeral homes.
weird how no one mentioned anything to do with your organs (i actuakly have no idea what to do with them either rofl what does one do)
I'm donating mine. If any end up still usable.
I don't plan to die with any of my organs in a usable state. I won the genetic lottery, I earned my organs fair and square. I earned it, I'm going to use every square inch of it.
EDIT: /s
Depends on the organ. No one is going to want my lungs or liver, but depending on how and when I die I could see my eyes still being useful for example.
If you’re in the US and have a license they’re supposed to ask you to sign up to be an organ donor. Do that and let doctors decide what’s best instead of bequeathing a kidney to your cousin George.
But what about my bronzed kidney displays holding the kidneys of my ancestors for hundreds of years?
When my husband died unexpectedly, he had requested to be an organ donor (USA). The funeral home had me sign a consent form to allow his organs to be harvested. I didn't know which ones, but it was a time-urgent matter. I hope some of his organs went to people who needed them. He was a healthy 30-year-old man.
sorry for your loss thats terrible. also, sorry to say this but are you sure it was a legitimate operation? organ donation is tje US is highly unregulated and many donated bodies domt get used for intended purposes. if you want to know more about that look into 'stephen douglas gore'.
A parachute.
And a condom. Don't forget the condom. They double as water transportation bags.
And colostomy bags
Filled with Ramen right? Right?..
a towel. every hitchhiker should carry a towel with them.
Personally i dont care, really.
When i die im dead, so i will stop giving fucks.
I dont care what happens to my body
I dont care what happens to my stuff
Just make sure im dead
If you have dependants, then they certainly care if your affairs are in order, or not. Dealing with the aftermath of a death is not trivial when it comes to number of hoops to jump through.
Not even just dependents but even friends and other family. I recently saw someone go through being an executor of a friend's will, and that will was relatively in order, and it still took over a year to wind everything up.
You line of succession, lest you leave the kingdom vulnerable to imposters and agents of chaos.
Clean underwear
Two million dollars for your granddaughter in an offshore account
Suspiciously specific.
If you're one of the plebes still on facebook, you should designate someone to inherit your account. There's a setting for it. Otherwise, if someone memorializes your page, they won't be able to make any changes, like update photos.
Make sure you add a statement of wishes to your will, especially look into your digital legacy. My will was straightforward but my statement of wishes was lengthy and the poor lawyer had never had to deal with anything like it before so had to consult a senior partner. In the end they just copy and pasted it over - money for old rope.
can you elaborate on what your wishes were and why
It's quite lengthy.
It covers my digital legacy so gives the password to my password manager and a list of key accounts that need shuttering, especially my Wikipedia admin account.
Then various classes of items to different places - academic books to the university library, others to specialist collections, general fiction off to one person, comics to another and on.
If it's something you are interested in, you should read around on the subject as various guides give you examples that may be closer to your circumstances.
can you dm me your will id like to use it for reference you seem to very knowledgable
I've rather not as there's a tonne of personal information in there and little that would necessarily be relevant to you.
My best advice to anyone is search for "statement of wishes" and then "digital legacy" and that will get you the guides I used. I can't claim to have any greater knowledge and experience than they provided, just enough to befuddle a junior lawyer.
could you censor stuff
It would make no sense and I doubt it'd be of much use to you. You are better off following the guides - I did nothing clever or innovative other than read and follow them.
Have a method for your loved ones to access all of your important passwords. If you have a password manager, having a shared vault with a trusted partner or family member is important.
Lots of them have an emergency access feature, definitely worth looking into if you haven't
Well, there’s the obvious will, but since it doesn’t specify how you die: an advanced directive.
An advanced directive is a document wherein you, while living and conscious and with control of your mental faculties, detail end of life care in the event that you are not capable of providing informed consent. You can detail how much and what kind of resuscitative or palliative efforts are made, assign someone you trust to make medical decisions for you, and what to do with your body.
DNRs (do not resuscitate, meaning no CPR done on you if your heart stops) are parts of advance directives and if you are serious about one make sure it gets into your medical chart: EMS personnel MUST provide CPR if it isn’t official.
If your family/friends situation is poor, contentious, and/or you can’t trust them to make the right choices for you medically, this can save you a painful death. Unfortunately, a lot of end of life “care” is the family’s attempt at prolonging the heartbeat of a nearly dead person because they can’t accept loss.
If your situation is good, it can still be a huge load off people’s minds to know that there’s a plan being followed, and it can prevent any rifts from forming. Even though you won’t see it, it’s a kindness to your loved ones to give them some peace of mind during what is often a chaotic and confusing time.
Since your response is matches my thoughts the best An independent executor so your friend or family member isn’t burdened with cleaning up after you while they are still hurt. Also leaves those you live out of the fighting.
Itemize your possessions. Maybe have your friends and family speak up and mention what they would want. Pointedly ask them. This avoids you leaving that green elephant to someone who didn’t want it when you want it to go somewhere it would be appreciated. Label things you want individual people to have. My aunt used dot stickers. Made it so simple.
I don't know about that. It'll depend on your circumstances but it's asking a lot of a friend? My partner is getting everything and he is my executor because all the decisions should be his and because he knows where everything is. I don't really like the idea of someone else poking through my stuff, either. Or putting him through someone else poking through our stuff.
A letter accusing your worst enemy of your murder, to be sent to the media in the event that you stop resetting your dead man's switch.
A script that deletes all of your online information.
Would you even care if you're dead anyway? Maybe some far descendant can stumble across my posts and put them in his family history folder.
I don’t like the idea of all my conversations online being right there word for word for my family to see without my ability to give any context .
Theoretically though, if youre already dead, would it even matter? To me, what youre describing would be the same as if, say, your grandkids or whatever descendants ended up finding a photoalbum filled with pics of you and letters you wrote to friends and family and such. There would be no outside context from you but it could still be a nice heirloom for your grandkids/great grandkids to remember you by and learn a bit about what type of person you were.
For the entirety of human existence, people have not been privy to word for word conversations for large swaths of all their friends and family. I’m not sure I’m ready to just accept that new reality.
Meh, I'd be more likely to make a script to upload all my remaining information. Not like I got any accounts anyone could use for any personal gain, I'm more of an internet historian archiving old software and stuff.
If it was never intended to be public, you might screw other living people over in the process. Think: revenge porn.
Yeah, but I just said, I archive software and stuff.
My pecker is too tiny for a bit of data. Or is it?... 🤔
Yeah and what to do with your online accounts.
... and then reddit undeletes it
Are they doing that with everyone removing their content lately? So much for having control of your user account and persona.
Instructions on how to contact any online acquaintances or communities that should be informed of your death
According to someone I met recently who shared way too much -- a will. Apparently her husband passed away unexpectedly and it has been a nightmare getting everything sorted.
get your will in check too!
A direct cremation plan. And instructions to not have your ashes interred in a graveyard or funeral home. It'll save your loved ones thousands of dollars, and save them from being exploited by the multi-billion dollar funeral industry.
hold on explain in more detail what should be done
Okay, so:
Direct cremation is a very specific thing that morticians are obligated to provide, at risk of losing their license if they refuse. It costs less than a thousand bucks (but usually a lot less), and they don't make a lot of money off of it. So, they're unlikely to offer that service unless you use those specific words: DIRECT CREMATION.
What that means is your body is cremated, and your loved ones get your remains back in a plastic bag in a box. They can spread your ashes wherever you want. Or flush you down the toilet. But they probably shouldn't do that, because there's bits of bone in there and that would be really awkward to explain to a plumber. But you get the idea.
Funeral directors will attempt to take advantage of your family's grief to upsell them on virtually everything imaginable. I mean, you loved X, didn't you? Don't they deserve the best? They're monsters. When my brother died our parents were ready to hand over $15,000 to those ghouls for nothing. I intervened, and the same service they wanted was possible for around $800.
Fuck funeral homes.
weird how no one mentioned anything to do with your organs (i actuakly have no idea what to do with them either rofl what does one do)
I'm donating mine. If any end up still usable.
I don't plan to die with any of my organs in a usable state. I won the genetic lottery, I earned my organs fair and square. I earned it, I'm going to use every square inch of it.
EDIT: /s
Depends on the organ. No one is going to want my lungs or liver, but depending on how and when I die I could see my eyes still being useful for example.
If you’re in the US and have a license they’re supposed to ask you to sign up to be an organ donor. Do that and let doctors decide what’s best instead of bequeathing a kidney to your cousin George.
But what about my bronzed kidney displays holding the kidneys of my ancestors for hundreds of years?
When my husband died unexpectedly, he had requested to be an organ donor (USA). The funeral home had me sign a consent form to allow his organs to be harvested. I didn't know which ones, but it was a time-urgent matter. I hope some of his organs went to people who needed them. He was a healthy 30-year-old man.
sorry for your loss thats terrible. also, sorry to say this but are you sure it was a legitimate operation? organ donation is tje US is highly unregulated and many donated bodies domt get used for intended purposes. if you want to know more about that look into 'stephen douglas gore'.
A parachute.
And a condom. Don't forget the condom. They double as water transportation bags.
And colostomy bags
Filled with Ramen right? Right?..
a towel. every hitchhiker should carry a towel with them.
Personally i dont care, really.
When i die im dead, so i will stop giving fucks.
I dont care what happens to my body
I dont care what happens to my stuff
Just make sure im dead
If you have dependants, then they certainly care if your affairs are in order, or not. Dealing with the aftermath of a death is not trivial when it comes to number of hoops to jump through.
Not even just dependents but even friends and other family. I recently saw someone go through being an executor of a friend's will, and that will was relatively in order, and it still took over a year to wind everything up.
You line of succession, lest you leave the kingdom vulnerable to imposters and agents of chaos.
Clean underwear
Two million dollars for your granddaughter in an offshore account
Suspiciously specific.
If you're one of the plebes still on facebook, you should designate someone to inherit your account. There's a setting for it. Otherwise, if someone memorializes your page, they won't be able to make any changes, like update photos.
Make sure you add a statement of wishes to your will, especially look into your digital legacy. My will was straightforward but my statement of wishes was lengthy and the poor lawyer had never had to deal with anything like it before so had to consult a senior partner. In the end they just copy and pasted it over - money for old rope.
can you elaborate on what your wishes were and why
It's quite lengthy.
It covers my digital legacy so gives the password to my password manager and a list of key accounts that need shuttering, especially my Wikipedia admin account.
Then various classes of items to different places - academic books to the university library, others to specialist collections, general fiction off to one person, comics to another and on.
If it's something you are interested in, you should read around on the subject as various guides give you examples that may be closer to your circumstances.
can you dm me your will id like to use it for reference you seem to very knowledgable
I've rather not as there's a tonne of personal information in there and little that would necessarily be relevant to you.
My best advice to anyone is search for "statement of wishes" and then "digital legacy" and that will get you the guides I used. I can't claim to have any greater knowledge and experience than they provided, just enough to befuddle a junior lawyer.
could you censor stuff
It would make no sense and I doubt it'd be of much use to you. You are better off following the guides - I did nothing clever or innovative other than read and follow them.
Have a method for your loved ones to access all of your important passwords. If you have a password manager, having a shared vault with a trusted partner or family member is important.
Lots of them have an emergency access feature, definitely worth looking into if you haven't
Respawn point.
Gotta put down a bed before you go.
rm -rf / —no-preserve-root