but idk tho

realitista@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 966 points –
46

also add " no offense " at the end of offensive statements to make them non offensive

I always append no offence to benign statements to mess with people.

No offence.

No offense, but this is a pretty funny idea. I'm no expert tho

7 more...

If you are dating someone and you really feel like this relationship has potential then you should think back to the worst thing you've ever did. Do it again and see how they react. If they can't handle you at your worst then they don't deserve you at your best.

But Idk tho.

Instructions unclear, now I'm wanted for murder (again, ugh). But idk tho

If you ever find yourself under arrest for murder the best possible thing you can do is just come clean about it quickly as possible. The sooner the better. Don't even wait for a lawyer. They'll admire your honesty and be lenient.

But idk though

If they can't handle me at my diddliest, then they don't deserve me at my doodliest.

The next time you're applying for a job, post a fake job ad so that people give you their resumes. Then, you can edit one and apply for the job you want.

But idk tho

I did do something like that once. I made up a position that was kinda close to what I was looking for and see how other people were applying and structuring their resumes.

Yes it worked, no I would not do it again.

the professional version of this is 'theoretically'. you can tack it on to the end of almost anything and it immediately makes whatever you said non-committal.

Well only if "theoretically" is followed by a statement compatible with supported theory. Too many people confuse theory with hypothesis

You can easily get away with using "Theoretically" in every situation, hypothetically speaking.

Where might hyporetically fall into this? Hyporetically speaking, for the real theothetists that might press the matter.

Theoretically, I had underetood the opposite.

If you are Canadian, also state that you are sorry at the end of every statement ..... sorry.

"just my 2 cents but you are ultimately responsible for your decisions"

"dont worry bro, you should just do what i said, i think, probably maybe"

DON'T DO THIS:

  • Soften chocolate ice cream and chill the glass. Take the ice cream out of the freezer for 10 to 15 minutes before use. At the same time, place your glass in the freezer. This will keep the shake cold when you serve it

-Measure the ingredients. 1 cup ice cream to 1/4 cup milk is a great ratio.

  • Blend the shake. In a blender, combine the milk and ice cream and blend until smooth. Add any your mix-ins and blend them in to your desired consistency.

  • Measure out the special secret ingredient - the 32.7 days, fermented cum sauce. Remember to consume 250 grams of pineapples prior to producing 100ml of that precious, pearly goodness.

  • Remember this: No matter how yummy the cum sauce looks, DO NOT DIP YOUR DISGUSTING HANDS TO LICK IT. You never know where your hands have been touching.

-Serve. Pour the shake into the chilled glass and serve immediately.

  • Remember to enjoy this with your family! Cheers! :)

But idk tho...