Programming: The Horror Game

JPDev@programming.dev to Programmer Humor@programming.dev – 989 points –
51

From what i've heard of the game industry, being a gamedev is already survival horror.

I had a friend doing mobile gamedev, making near unheard-of money for their then city of residence, had everything going well for them... except the job was soul-crushing and draining, eventually giving them severe depression.

When I was getting my first dev job, they said I'd be really sorry about doing outsource, and I just thought that out of us two, I'd be the really happy one, even making much less than them.

Yeah so you gotta buy the lumafly lantern before you go in that area

Knew a programmer that was near blind who only used magnifier on maximum zoom with his IDE. One of the best programmers I met, but his screen looked very much like that. Don't know how he did it.

Programming happens in the mind. Whats on the screen is a pale and lifeless polaroid devoid of the moving, complex soul of real code.

That feels like that scene in Amadeus, when Mozart dictates his music to Salieri.

Well put, however I find code formatting itself has a shape, texture and smell. How the programmer weaves the patterns of formatting tells a lot about his mind and style.

Agreed; or their mind and style style.

Auto formatting is often too rigid for me and gets in the way of context driving the style.

Albino? There was an albino in my IT and the poor dude would literally be like 4 inches from the screen at all times. I guess that must be pretty close to his experience, yeah.

Yeah, I worked with an albino like that who used a handheld magnifying glass. It actually inspired me to write a magnifier application for windows (which didn’t have one at the time, this was in 2006). That then led me to write little windows apps every day for a month, which got a lot of attention.

TFW when all of your bugs are like cockroaches that run away from the light but hide in the dark where you can’t see them.

But I have an LCD display

non-AMOLED devices spreading misinfo by enabling dark mode by default on low battery and it's consequences...

Low battery mode on.......computers?

Yeah. Some folk use portable computers on top of their laps. It's weird :/

With a good eye-tracker and some tweaking, this might be usable...

laughs in IntelliJ multi cursor mode

What…. Why..?!

Is it for double speed ?

It does get its uses. Mostly editing similar lines, multiple methods at the same time, etc. Makes you look like a ninja too

If you have multiple similar lines, you can perform the same editing on them all at once.

The real horror is when you discover the monster behind all those errors haunting your sleepless nights... Was you all long

Makes a change from Visual Studio turning white because it has hung yet again.

Reminds me of when CodeBullet turned Pacman into a first person horror game

Anti-peeking filter is looking dope! Nobody will be able to look at my screen anymore, me included!

Does anyone remember when something like this actually happened? Maybe it's the Mandela effect but U sweat at one stage a whole heap of sites were using black/dark mode to save the planet

I kinda want this to be real…

It's not too far off from how ed works!

How does ed work?

ed, the "standard editor" (according to its man page) and the predecessor of vi (the "visual editor"), is a terminal editor that doesn't automatically display any of the text you're working on; you have to use the p ("print") command to display the lines your wish to see.

ಠ_ಠ

If you have a Linux or Mac handy, you can trying it out! It's...kinda wild. If you know some Vim commands that start with :, there's a good chance they'll work in ed, except you don't type : itself (effectively you're always in "command mode").

There's also a novelty Twitter account, @ed1conf, that tweets about ed.

Some coworkers told me a story about a previous job candidate who said his preferred editor was ed. They thought it would be really interesting to see someone actually use it. But during the actual interview, when he opened ed, he didn't recognize or understand it; he was actually accustomed to a graphical editor that he thought was called ed because he apparently did all his work on a system where someone had symlinked or aliased ed to a modern tool.

Have fun:

gopher://katolaz.net/0/ed_tutorial.txt

Uh oh, brace yourself for a bunch of whataboutism from blatantly selfish computer nerds. /s

Hey man, I work on a Microsoft full stack — VS corrupts files or locks up regularly 🤷That’s before we touch Windows on a server box