Overthinkers of the Fediverse, what are you currently freaking out about?

Khazram@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 93 points –

I’ve been on a medical LOA since last year and tomorrow I go back to work and I keep thinking about how almost all my coworkers I knew are gone and processes have changed. Also that if I do something wrong I might injure myself again and be right back where I was a year ago (I have been cleared for full job duties by my doctor).

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Meta destroying the Fediverse.

Yeah same. I hope we can keep corporate interest walled off. Also with rising popularity comes concern of of astroturfing and spambots.

For perspective WordPress also uses ActivityPub. WP comprises 43% of the internet. Though these corporations may create mills of pure shit behaviour and content, catching the entire Fediverse is like trying to carry water in a collinder. If things ever feel too centralised, do your part to decentralise. Check out the rest of the Fediverse and get involved. The apps are very good, though many are early in development. Build good places and catch those that seek to escape the corporate walled gardens. Resilience comes from community, and these corporations are weak because they are inflexible with singular non humanist goals. Each time the facade cracks, more will be shed. We are kind of like the Wildlings over The Wall.

Here's the creator of ActivityPub. She's great: https://octodon.social/@cwebber/110668011757667052

I'm concerned that spez could be right: This will blow over, Reddit users in general don't care enough. Even a lot of us who fled here might return eventually because that's just where most of the discussion is. (Especially for breaking news, niche topics, etc).

I really wanted the admins to change course, and failing that, for Reddit to fall, but I think it's likely we'll get neither, and Lemmy will remain a sidenote. (As much as it has already grown, which is amazing to see, the whole network is still like 10% of one single top subreddit)

I obviously hope I'm wrong and that the growth we've had in the last month will just continue.

(As much as it has already grown, which is amazing to see, the whole network is still like 10% of one single top subreddit)

You have to remember that a lot of those large subreddits are full of bots and astroturfers. It's in reddit's best interest for those subreddits to appear full even if they aren't. They are trying to IPO.

The quality of discourse here is already higher even if there are fewer people so personally I think I'll stay here until it implodes or something better comes along.

One of the subs I miss the most is AskReddit but as someone who has been a regular reader there for 5 years, every single thread has bot reposted answers that have been kicking around for years.

Considering that spez is championing musk as an example of good leadership I think that if not this, something else will happen. That might assuage some of your fears. Though if reddit changes it's ways and backpedals and maybe changes leadership, it might not be a bad thing (but I seriously doubt that at this point).

There are plenty more opportunities for spez to drive off the users and content creators. The API change and forcing mods out of subs for going private or NSFW is having a snowball effect on both Fediverse growth and the garbage content on r/all.

I check every few days to see if anything’s changed and it’s just gotten worse, and I’m getting similar if not the same content on Lemmy and Mastodon.

Job worries as well. New place a lot more money. Can't stop thinking about work outside of work. I feel like my training was rushed and I don't really know what I'm doing. It's all so weird. Stressed and anxious all the time because of this place.

My only bit of rational input to counter act your brain, is that: you got the job, not someone else. You’re the winner, and you can do it. New jobs are fucked… so stressful… so much doubt… so much anxiety… but you got it for a reason. You had something that no one else had.

Listen to a stranger pump you up as much as you listen to your brain. Whatever your job is, it will be second nature in no time.

Every time I end up someplace else I feel like I’m gonna do something wrong that’s gonna wipe out everything so I feel ya.

Hopefully you’ll have some helpful coworkers you can just say “hey I’m unclear on this thing.” and they’ll understand the feeling.

/OCD intensifies

I was given a bunch of medication for muscle spasms this week and my brain keeps having the intrusive thought of "you know, all of your organs are going to shut down because of this stuff." Fortunately, I'm self aware enough to tell my brain to stfu and relax. As far as medication goes, it's all pretty mild stuff like naproxen lol.

As someone who has been taking a cocktail of all sorts of shit for the past three years after a spinal injury, just don’t take any other NSAID (voltaren/ibuprofen) with Naproxen. Codeine and paracetamol are okay, just no two NSAIDS if you can because it will will probably make your tummy a very sad place. (Bleeding etc)

But also, don’t listen to a strangers medical advice on a website… but keep telling your brain to STFU.. you got this fellow broken buddy! Hope you have a really fast recovery

Haha yeah, they gave me tummy stuff too. :) Much love and thanks.

Similar... I've been getting some very likely nerve twinges from an injured neck, then injured by back trying to fix the neck, but my brain is enjoying going AAAAAH ITS A MYSTERIOUS NERVE DISEASE U DEAD MELPOMENE!

Health anxiety sucks.

That’s how mine was actually. I just lost the ability to run one day and it progressed from there to my hands going numb. Now I’m terrified when I turn my head to check the blind spot in my rear view. I fortunately had a great neurologist so I’m back to 95ish%

So far, I've gotten bullshit advice like "stretch" and "come back in three months if it still bothers you." I'm like "I paid you for that advice?" Have a concierge doc tomorrow, hope they give me some real insight. I just want to get back to running and stuff.

Yes! All throughout my hospital stay my brain would go off on a “what if there’s a contradiction?” and I’d have to re-convince it that I’m in a professional hospital and my situation happens all the time.

My father went missing, we found him and he's in a coma.

So now I'm preparing my life to take care of him once he's out of the coma.

A potential shortage of beans.

Naw don’t worry. We haven’t even seen the Lima beans or green beans yet.

My credit card expired on the first and I have a very expensive dental appointment next week. I'm watching my mailbox like a hawk and praying that the new card will get here in time. It's my fault since I most likely threw the original replacement out thinking it was junk mail.

There’s a good chance you may be able to activate the card through the bank in the event it doesn’t show up in time. Never hurts to call them.

Feels insignificant compared to a lot of posts in here who actually have real problems but I was at kids party yesterday and then get the "sorry we found lice" message haha So treating the family for lice today just in case hooray

comb for adults and as many eggs as you can get. THEN desiccate the shit out of any missed eggs with a hair dryer on low heat (doesn't need to be hot) for like 30 mins plus when hair is dry. repeat a few days.

learning about the hair dryer was such a relief the one time i dealt with this. much easier than torturing my kids endlessly with the comb.

That’s not insignificant, lice are stressful. My niece got it a couple years ago we all had to do the treatment, wash the clothes and sheets in hot water, the whole shebang.

Gotta clean up house before guests arrive in a few days.

Gotta finish rebuilding the front ramp.

Gotta move some stuff in the container.

Can't figure out why the caravan gas pilot light goes out after 4 seconds. (well it hasn't been used for 25 years...)

Tired. Might nap at 3pm. Or shortly.

Gotta go replace a modem 40 minutes away

Gotta clear the store room some.

Weatherboards need painting soon.

Big pine tree wants to fall on the shed.

Mailbox geocache has stopped working. Need to disable it on the site.

Gotta record a sponsor for the station.

Dog needs a walk.

Need to do some shopping.

Garden is a mess.

The sun is out, yay. Can run appliances for free today.

This week has been both the week we moved into our new apartment, and also the week our country celebrates by blowing shit up for 6+ nights straight. Our dogs are deathly afraid of fireworks. Last night I had to run my wife to the ER, which is literally 2 minutes away, and in that time our dogs destroyed the front door frame of our new apartment.

Our landlord, who we've only met once, just got back from vacation. Can't wait to tell them how our dogs are destroying their house.

I thought the fireworks only happened for 1 night!! That's nuts

When you live in a place where they are legal (or near a place where they are) they tend to go for a bit. Our nextdoor neighbors were shooting off some big ones.

I'm seeing a nice girl for the first time in a long time and I'm afraid she's gonna flip a switch on me like all the others and stop talking to me for reasons I don't understand

Best of luck bro. I hope that doesn't happen. Everyone deserves happiness.

Thank you, friend. I have no reason to believe she will... but I thought that about the other girls too so it's hard to tell when I'm being irrational or not

I forgot to pay my tolls last month and I have no idea how much they cost. All my money is towards rent and food.

Really don't want to go to jail or get a court order.

The point of my existence, or more specifically, why I keep writing my odd thoughts on here or back then on Reddit, when I‘m already aware of how useless it all is. I‘ve been reading various books on this and the more I read, the less significance I see in it. Yet, here I am, again writing something. I suppose it‘s some sort of distraction or sublimation for me.

Do you find comfort in the insignificance?

No, I wouldn‘t say I‘m comforted by much these days, though I‘ve read a book called Sunny Nihilist and Camus of course too, to try and approach it from this perspective, but I couldn‘t quite adopt it for myself as an effective coping mechanism.

Yeah same. I find it helps me with anxiety when some of my life's problems start feeling overwhelming. But if I'm in a depressive state it seems to mostly sap away motivation.

Interesting, now that you said that, I notice it‘s similar for me. I haven‘t had any of my work related anxiety since this years long existential crisis started, probably because for that it really does help.

Unearthed some other more concerning thoughts though. Maybe that is also part of why I keep coming back to social media, it’s nice to get various insights like this. Thank you.

My mom first signing up to FurAffinity to follow an artist she likes who left Twitter and now having a Threads account despite the permissions it had

The people that are still holding up hope for Reddit didn’t really get what the poorer users of Reddit and third-party apps stood for. Plus mods that depended on third-party apps. The ones that are keeping hope alive are people late to the game I’m assuming. They started using it like a month ago and like it. Since have divided the Offical and are toeing the line. Time will tell what happens. Mastodon has a huge base even though twitter still exist twitter/mastodon/Reddit/lemmy/kbin can do-exist nothing wrong with it!

My boss texted a group thread at 10:30pm and I responded in 3 different clear but relatively lighthearted ways to stop texting because I was in bed. He got annoyed. 20m later my watch gave me an alert that my heart rate was 114bpm for more than 15m and now I can't sleep.

IMO the cutoff time is 9:30-10:00 depending on the person and the level of emergency, anything after and something important better be on fire.

Honestly, I'm not an overthinker any more, or at least I don't see myself as an overthinker since atomoxetine is doing its magic. But in other circumstances, I would be thinking about this Meta thing, and about what people would think if I wrote this comment, and about why I screwed things up so much in the past...

I think that last one is probably one of the most common ones for many people.

I have an appointment with a dentist to have some teeth pulled, and a chronic sinus infection needing surgery simultaneously. The antibiotics I’m on amplify the already massive anxiety I have to the point of paranoia and panic attacks.

I'm just some words a stranger left for you on the internet, but if it counts for anything at least one person from across the globe is thinking about you at this time and that is meant to sound reasurring like "you are not alone" but you mentioned paranoia and I probably just increased that I mean wtf dude a random stranger says "you are not alone" who could be from anywhere on Earth so now you've got this on your mind too great gee-wizz thanks I guess? Right? But then maybe it'll take your mind off the real shit for a feaction of a second and make it worth it? I dunno I'm just an idiot overthinking things but that should be par for the course here. Um... good luck!

I’m so in my head that I barely know how to properly respond, but thank you for taking the time to reply.

I'm currently overthinking the future, my identity, what I want and need going forward, what reasons to keep going forward, if this is the best I can do, why I'm afraid of most of life, and a bunch of other shit.

Me_IRLMidlifeCrisis

Yep, you hit a major one for me too. I’m early 40’s and I keep finding myself thinking “who am I vs. who did I want to be.”

I feel like the whole reason to keep going is to find out exactly who we are. Everybody is (or should IMO) be continuously exploring, learning, and growing/changing.

Even in my 40’s I’m still finding out new things and feelings that change my perspectives.

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My college friend's destination wedding in Portugal.

I don't really want to go - never been interested in Portugal, its extremely far away and extremely expensive to get there and stay there. On the other hand if I don't go I know I'll feel guilty about it. I'm currently churning ideas in my head for how to try and spin the trip into something that feels "worth" the money by going somewhere else in Europe afterwards. But the logistics are so complicated, and every day and extra location I add increases the price.

I hate obligations.

Where in Portugal are you going? I've only been to Porto but I loved it. It helps that I really like Portuguese food though I guess, and hot weather. It depends on what it is about Portugal that doesn't appeal to you? In terms of cost it's probably the cheapest country in Western Europe, you may just be staying somewhere pricey though. Honestly if you want to turn it into a bit of a trip I'd explore a bit of Portugal, or Spain is right next door, it should be easy to get around by train. Have a look on Trainline, they cover most of the train services in Europe. If you can book ahead for the intercity trains it's usually a bit cheaper.

Looks like it's in a place called Algarve.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Portugal is a nice place, it just doesn't gel with my preferences. I'm vegetarian so I basically can't eat anything. Not a fan of beaches or hot weather either. I'm also just not really interested in learning about that culture, it's never really sparked me.

Right now I'm thinking I might just do a hop to Scotland, and do some low cost hiking there - much more my speed. Kinda wish they had just had their wedding at home though...

The Algarve is full of British people (sorry) so you should be able to get vegetarian food. Although yeah with it being a tourist destination it's probably more expensive. The Algarve has never appealed to me tbh, golf courses and British ex pats, no thanks. I often travel with my vegan best mate and she's always managed, including in Porto, and in Spain. It's limited but if you can deal with chips (fries), salad, olives, and cheese you can get by. And most cities have at least a few vegetarian/vegan restaurants and cafes.

If you come to the UK you should know we're having a pretty crap summer right now, lots of rain, hopefully that should improve though. And if you're not into hot weather then the UK is definitely the right place for you! I'd choose Portugal and Spain in a heartbeat over here, the old towns and cities are much more beautiful, and less grey, but each to their own. I hope you manage to have a good time. I think having a little add on trip that's what you want to do is definitely the way to go in making this bearable. It does annoy me when people expect all their friends and family to spend a lot of money just because they've decided to get married.

Not just now but for at least the last several years... catastrophic global warming especially severe drought affecting the water supply and sending all kind of prices even higher.