Let's move this along, future boy

m3t00🌎@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1187 points –
56

pls no more punchlines in the title!

They had been saying this over at that other site for like 13 years before I left.

I’m sure it’ll work out here though.

If I browsed these types of joke-sharing communities more often, I'd petition community mods to create a rule against it. I don't think that's too harsh.

Haha yeah my first reaction was wtf are we back to this now?

Bet he pays with a check.

"What, your fancy future store too good to accept my assorted animal pelts and sifted gold pebbles as currency?!"

I keep 3 forms of payment on me for this reason. Phone, card, cash, in that order.

Edit: Within 30 minutes of making this comment, I was at a Walmart. No NFC payment. The machine didn't like my card. Now I have 2 quarters and a penny in my pocket.

The register's down sir, we can only accept payment in the form of interpretive dance convincingly communicating your burning desire for the chosen products.

Tips in the form of jazz hands are always appreciated, but never expected.

I'm buying a 24-pack of beer so I guess I'll communicate my burning desire with some Chumbawamba

The interpretive dance is much better afterwards.

Phone, card, gun, cash in that order

How many cheeseburgers can you get for 1 gun?

As many as you’d like, depending on several constraints which include how long it takes for someone to stop you, how many you can carry, and how fast they are able to produce cheeseburgers.

Also tuesdays are cheeseburger day in county jail.

That’s my retirement plan sorted then

no... nfc.... payment??? wtf
is that an American thing or what?

That's a Walmart thing. They wanted to compete with Apple over contactless payments thing and Walmart invested in tech that uses QR codes. No one ever partnered with Walmart so they now use their QR payment tech in house.

Kroger too—no tap payments. Instead, you have to use their Kroger app's QR code. It sucks

Apple watch owners making up stories to justify their purchase (this is a joke)

How to make people envious of your amazing Apple product: tell them it wouldn't work and caused an inconvenience for everyone.

But if I don't hold up everyone they wouldn't even pay attention to my new watch!

"Why are you suddenly in a rush, sir? Life has clearly already passed you by.

Hey, uh, just between you and me, what was Alexander Hamilton really like?"

I heard the Elderly Man's words in the voice of Kris Kristofferson's Whistler character from the Blade movies.

Terrific call. I definitely heard something similar!

OP's a 21st century digital boy,

He can't get through the line,

With his futuristic toys.

well that is at least a 4 yo joke. know a few apple types that would have the manager make it work with their expensive watch just because. Gpay which works now mostly, didn't work half the time either. I still keep plastic handy. Target now has self-serve reversible checkouts which mostly don't work. gl getting these to take cash. I couldn't get this one to scan 3 items. call attendant, yeah I just left items there and walked out. love/hate tech. gl to future boy

Honestly I wonder how well these PTP payments would work in my home state considering how now one used them and phones are infomas for not working on top of a lot of places being cash only so I can only imagine how few places can even except g pay

Does it even use the mobile data for payment?

The establishment taking payment needs to communicate with their merchant provider (otherwise they'd never get their money), but I'm not sure that the phone does. It's similar to contactless cards, but uses a different floor limit so you don't need to enter a PIN, as it's assumed that if you've unlocked the phone then you're authorised to make payments.

Isn't moble data the stuff your phone uses too communicate like the main reason why people don't use their phones outside in my home state is due to how there's a lot of dead zones where it can't communicate no calls, texts or Internet connection. When travailing the only thing your phone really can do is play angry birds and take pictures because the environment is basically forcing your phone to be on airplane mode

Yeah, if you've got no internet then you can't do all the nice internet things.

Pretty sure you'd need internet (wifi would do) to set up Apple/Google Pay on your phone, but I don't think you need internet when out and about paying for things.

Apple seem to have no problem with it.

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/8204935

Looks like the Google one needs to phone home every so often, but should work for "a limited number of transactions". Whether that's by value or by transaction count I don't know. It certainly seems to be instant whenever I use it, which makes me think it doesn't rely on internet access.

https://support.google.com/wallet/thread/177978646/do-you-need-data-to-use-google-pay?hl=en

You're correct. I've made payments with my phone and watch lots of times without any WiFi or data connection.

Only the payment terminal needs to be connected.

How many different payment methods does the world need? Is this efficiency or just another skimming scam lol

Skimming works because it attacks 1980s technology.

Contactless is much more secure, given an extra 40 years of defending scams.

Thinking of this as "just another attack vector" is laughably ignorant, really.

I tend to view the finance industry as a bunch of skimmers. Funnel money through as many companies as possible so everyone gets a fee.

I was not thinking of security at all.

To be fair, I wasn't expecting to hear that you were coming into a conversation about contactless payments, using a word like "skimming" and meaning something completely out-of-context.

That's a real doozie, yo.

news about shoplifting loses at all time highs. I've forgot a few things in the cart and walked out with them. arrest me. too short staffed to chase down self checkouts. no wonder MBA geniuses. spend a dollar to save a penny

could give a flying f' about punchline in title. must be a reddit aftertaste