Eat dick op
Eat dick op
This was my first boisterous laugh of the day. Thanks!
Oooohhhh shiiit. Took a solid minute to see it but daaamn
The game.
We both just lost it.
You son of a bitch...
How long since you last lost? 😁
Probably a month or so, surprisingly, Lemmy has reminded me several times now.
It had actually been years for me until I sacrificed my streak to annoy you guys 😁
Years :_(
.>:|
I can't believe they did them like that
This post reminds me of one of my favourite Anthony Jeselnik jokes:
My dad did not fuck around. My dad did not trust anybody. My dad did not trust anyone. In fact, he had a saying… but he wouldn’t tell me.
This didn't trick me.
Apropos of nothing in particular, I'm going to go make a coffee.
I don't believe you
I made this with AI to support my deception
I don't believe you, this is clearly a real coffee
You can't put your finger in coffee for real, it would burn. This is AI.
I'll concede the finger might be artificial, but that's a real coffee.
Ceci n'est pas un café
Hmmm. But is moka pot real espresso? If I swizzle hot milk with an IKEA toy, is it real froth? My morning cappuccino sits on a throne of lies.
A froth of lies even
Seems harsh—lots of people make coffee these days.
I myself have made coffee today, FYI.
Shame on you, you got me
Seems like the shame could be on you
Doesn't it say, got me one time shame on you, got me two time shame one me ?
Yeah the shame's definitely on you
🖕🏻
How to gain someone's trust:
Say "never trust anyone".
Easy peasy
I turned my phone on the si de ans IT DID SOMETHING because I use sync .
Holy shit.
Is this loss?
There's no trust involved here.
Almost had me there
No
Can't. My phone keeps reorienting.
Can't even trust your phone these days smh my head
You just gotta lay it flat on a table, then spin it.
Beyblade style!
If android just turn off auto-rotate in drop down menu
Turn yourself upside-down
At last! I knew that inversion table I bought four years ago and used three times was going to be good for something.
Tell it that, while you “support” its decisions, funding its college education will be contingent on finding a spouse to have a baby with.
Follow me for more toxic phone-parenting tips.
Not mine, it’s Occidental.
Eyyyy