How do you find motivation when it's not there?

metaphortune@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 97 points –

Whether it be to do your job, get your schoolwork done, clean your house, work on your creative passion, etc.

Bonus points if you're someone without reasonable self-control so saying something like "I can only have a cookie after I do this/while I do this" doesn't work for you and you're just going to eat the cookie and not do it.

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I try reframing whatever it is I need to do so that it’s not as intimidating/soul crushing/whatever. For me the way to make this actually work is to only reframe things in a way that is both true and nonjudgmental.

Original thought/feeling: my apartment looks like a wreck, I’m a shitty person for living like this, now I’m obligated to clean

Reframed thought: my apartment needs to be cleaned up, but that’s fixable and doesn’t mean anything about me as a person. I can use the time I spend cleaning to also listen to an audio book. Making my environment cleaner and more enjoyable will be a gift for my future self.

Force yourself to do it... for five minutes.

If you still don't like doing it after five minutes, give yourself permission to stop.

This works very well for me. It certainly helped me get past the notion that I needed motivation before doing something.

I prefer to want to do a thing before doing it, but I don't have to.

Quite honestly the biggest game changer for me was understanding that you don't have to feel like doing something in order to do it.

Force yourself to do it for five minutes, and 99% of the time you get in the groove and realise "Oh, this actually isn't so bad" and before you know it, you're done.

Every day I exercise (walking) and every single time it goes like this:

  1. Don't wanna do it
  2. Start doing it anyway
  3. It's done
  4. Feel good that I did it

You build discipline so as not to rely on motivation, as motivation is unreliable.

Like, if you rely on motivation, depression will win. It'll get ya. Sneak attack, pin you when you're down. Or just heavy life events like losing a loved one, or a job. When shit hits hard, there is no motivation. None. Zero. Things can happen in life where purpose feels completely gone. You cannot rely on motivation, because if you end up here and motivation was your only path forward, you're toast! Well not really, but the uphill battle is even steeper.

What are you trying to to be motivated to do? Play music? Every day, 30 minutes, no excuses.

Get into hiking shape? 1 small hike every weekend. Rain or shine.

Build the discipline. Form the habit. The motivation will come and go. Habits get broken. Discipline stays.

I mostly second this. I have a mantra "Embrace the uncomfortable". Not in a "work yourself to death for some number" kind of way, but in a "go outside, even if its raining" kind of way. It helps me to appreciate small comforts afterwards and reduces the amount of energy needed to do stuff.

People think motivation comes before action, but it is actually the reverse. You have to decide (not be motivated) to act, and the motivation will follow.

I have this mantra that I say to myself. I think it's from Tibetan monks, but I heard it on an NPR interview.

"May we be victorious over our fears.

May we be happy without hope.

May we be of benefit to all."

The fear here is my fear of doing the thing. The lack of hope is what I feel because I will not just fucking do the thing. The benefit to all is what happens when I actually do the thing.

I know it sounds super depressing, but it helps me... sometimes.

I actually kind of vibe with this. I don't think its depressing, sounds uplifting to me.

You don't.

No really, you don't, you just force yourself to do it because you know it's got to be done. I know it sucks but it is what it is, sometimes we have to do shit we don't want to, but once you start it's usually not so bad as you thought it'd be and then it gets easier with time especially if you make it part of your routine.

Source: life experience.

you dont. you force yourself to do just 15 minutes of solid effort. chances are you'll just keep going. the first step is the hardest. cookies dont work for me because like, I can just go get the cookie now if you get what I mean here

I don't have the motivation to do the whole thing.

That being said, I only need the motivation to start the task. Once started, I don't need motivation to continue doing the on-going task.

Soo, you may not need as much motivation as you think you need. Just push yourself to start one small bit of the task , and voila , before you know it, the task is over.

Never had an issue with being motivated. Crippling anxiety issues really are one hell of a motivation. I just want that stressful thing off my proverbial plate.

I can say from that perspective. Start with the easy tasks first. Under 5 minutes? Go do it. Then the harder ones. It's a lot better to see that you had 10 things on the to-do list and most are already done.

Put your phone in airplane mode. Don't distract yourself. TV off too.

Action - inspiration - motivation loop

Get on the loop at any point. Often the best thing to do is just start doing it, 5 minutes in and you want to do more.

Change your perception of the task, instead of it being a 'thing that you will be happy to have done' look at it as a 'thing that are happy doing',

for example instead of 'I will be happy to have learned to play the piano so I should force myself to practice' think 'I am happy while practicing the piano' instead of 'I have to do the dishes' think 'I am cleaning these dishes with perfection, and optimising their placement so that they will dry the quickest'

Basically, don't do things for the end goal, do it for the action itself, live in the present, not in the future. There's always enjoyment to get from any chore if you approach it from this mindset.

My partner look at me funny when I put my shirts to dry in ascending color order, and my socks all parrallel, but the truth is, I'm having fun doing it that way, the chore has become a meticulous game that I take pleasure from.

Ifind the Non Zero Days philosophy super helpful but it's from the old site back when it was good.

Motivation is a fleeting thing. Adulthood and success are built upon discipline, not motivation. We do what must be done, regardless of our feelings about it. Do what must be done, then enjoy your time spent doing better things once what is necessary is complete. Live by the words of Logan Nine Fingers from The Blade Itself:

It is better to do a thing than to live with the fear of it.

I don't think, I just do.

I usually keep an end goal in sight; for example, I sometimes dread going to the gym, but I always remember that my goal is to stay fit, have a healthy body and exercising is an important part of that. By sticking to my goal, I maintain my discipline and go to the gym 3 times per week.

Another example is school homework; in my case, my math homework is something I don't enjoy, but I remind myself that I need the math certificate in order to enroll for a Computer Science degree at an university. Therefore, I keep pushing myself to study math and get good grades (which so far has worked pretty well)

"I don't want to get fired and subsequently lose my healthcare and housing" isn't a good motivator though. It only causes dread.

It's also different with ADHD because everything in your body actively tells you to stop doing the thing and do something else. If you do the thing, you use up your entire supply of spoons for the day and barely have enough to get home.

I just think about how much worse I would feel later with this damn thing hanging over me. Alternately, I think back to how good I felt last time I actually got something done.

I don't wait for motivation. I just tell myself, "You don't have to want it, you just have to do it," and then I do it. Usually.

Once I'm already doing something I tend to keep doing it, so it's the transition that's hardest. I find that if I start a task when I'm already transitioning from another activity, it's a lot easier than getting up off the couch or putting down my phone.

It sucks, but you can't really expect it not to suck.


Another insight that I adopted years ago was to do unpleasant tasks when I'm already unhappy. If I'm gonna be miserable anyway, might as well get something out of it, right?

To mirror what others have said, there is a great quote I heard once, probably said first by some unknown person but later said by a billion others:

If you wait to be motivated, you never will.

Personally, I heard it first from Josh Strife Hayes, but I'm sure he was not the first to have said that. :P

In addition to other tips already mentioned, I've found it's easiest for me to muster willpower to do chores/tasks first thing in the morning. That way I get stuff done before I get distracted and/or lose willpower. Also it's sort of cheating because I'm not fully awake yet.

I often just fail until it gets embarrassingly or super inconveniently bad. My only strategy that was ever even a little helpful was breaking the task into tiny micro 5 minute tasks and writing them all down, and doing a few of those at a time. I had adhd though, and am hoping medication will help with that (so far it has a bit).

I consume things that tend to motivate me - videogames, looking at other people's art, and even listening to music can really get me motivated!

Panic and dread of deadlines gets you flying faster than red bull ever could, so why not mix the two for pure adrenaline wings.

For me, it's mostly retreat, regroup and get back. I accepted that it is okay not to be motivated the whole time. I take a break from everything and curl up in my room. When I feel better, I try to figure out what needs to be done first. And then I go back out.

That's to be said that constant loss of motivation, could be a sign of Depression or other mental and/or physical Illnesses. If this continues, you should talk to your Doctor about this.

Sometimes I just take some ibuprofen to reduce my systemic inflammation and that’s enough.