Haha yes, good joke, by the way, have you seen these new fangled automobiles? They'll never replace the good old fashioned horse and carriage. I also hear some Austrian dickhead is making moves in Germany - hope it doesn't spark another war. Anyway, I'm off to beat my wife and suppress my emotions, because it's apparently 1920.
Oh, be fair, lots of men still beat their wives and suppress their emotions.
Tru tru, likely cos they wanna harken to a century ago when it was practically the law
Well, some probably. But also, humans are often violent. It's pretty hardwired in. And some men are wired to be more violent than others unfortunately. That's before we even get into cycles of abuse and all that environmental stuff. Like, the 1920s were three generations ago. Not excusing them at all, but lots of men are dealing with generational trauma that easily goes back further than that.
As a trans woman who spent a lot of her life as a violent man, I have some perspective on this.
The tendency to blow up and hit things? Those are panic attacks. Men don't like to think of themselves as having sissy emotional problems and so they just try to stubbornly power through their panic by yelling and hitting things, but like, a good cry really fucking helps you know? Meds too! Take a break, get some fresh air, take some deep breaths, fix your makeup, it's going to be okay. No need to break shit.
That's a really great observation. I've had a couple mild panic attacks and I could see how someone could lash out if they didn't understand what they were experiencing.
Excuses. Trauma can cause aberrant behaviour, true, but unless your moral center is corrupted by toxic beliefs, you will recognise those behaviours as wrong and feel bad about it. The types of people who think the dynamic pictured in the OP are standard have either been raised with or have discovered and adopted an ideology of patriarchy, that presents such "wife bad" mentality as morally good.
So yes, you may have anger issues or problems with violence because of trauma, but you will still feel remorse because you now it's wrong. Or, on the other hand, you may simply believe that such violence and domination is the natural social order and thus be a toxic scumbag.
The toxic beliefs that are taught are part of the trauma. Certainly not an excuse, no, but good to be aware of if we want to help people break the cycle.
As far as the whole "sleep on the couch" thing, I don't tend to think grown adults should be telling one another where they're allowed to sleep just because one of them is upset, but that's a different topic.
The toxic beliefs that are taught are part of the trauma.
Sorry i punched you in the face, i thought it was okay because daddy did it
Pretty much...
Excuses
Explanations aren't excuses, and without explanations we can't fix the problem. Villainizing can be useful and certainly feels good but it doesn't accomplish much else.
If you're looking at this pic and thinking it describes a normal relationshio dynamic, yeah, it's being used as an excuse.
If you look through my comments in this thread you'll see that nowhere have I said anything like that. In fact at one point I said that neither adult in a relationship should get to dictate where the other person sleeps.
Got the dog and a blanket. What more could you want?
Another dog so you can pet one with each hand.
Or, you could pet the same dog with both hands.
Lemmy Shitpost != Facebook
😡 2 👊 1 😂 345 💪69
You’re just jealous of driveway
You're not wrong.
Uh, how old are you, op? This is boomer level garbage.
Boomer humor is what I call it, it's succinct.
Ah, yes, thank you.
Old enough to not require a clip of subway surfer to enjoy a meme.
Uphill both ways in the snow?
Onion on his belt, which was the style at the time.
stupid question but I've seen in American tv shows that the wife asks the husband to sleep on the couch when she's not happy with him.. is that a stereotype or does it really happen?
It’s a much better system, because it incentivises trying to solve the problem
What if both are angry? :D
Then we both sleep on the couch obviously
Nice.
Then netflix makes a true crime docuseries about the murder
Canadian confirming that the angry party leaves the bed. Usually me because I need time to think it through, get pissy and maybe a little childish, get over being pissy and childish and then go talk about it once I've realized how I was probably wrong or have come up with a way that accurately describes how I was wronged and why that makes me angry or sad. My husband is also the type that needs to think it out before talking so it works, unfortunately his process is way slower than mine.
I don't know if it is a healthy way of dealing but it works for both of us and neither of us had healthy examples of any relationship in our lives so we take what we can get
calming down taking time to think things through sounds like a healthy relationship to me
If my wife’s mad at me for something I said or did, she’ll sleep on the couch. -American
Canadian here. The upset person sleeps on the couch. Rarely happens because our couch isn’t comfortable lol.
Yes, it's true. Source: have slept on the couch once.
I have a firm no one kicks me out of my own bed rule
Happenens to me when i win the argument.
This is not mysogony but reality.
Ofc not all woman are like that.
Yeah but you dared bring that up on the internet which makes you an incel loser
Well, this is my first 30 minutes on Lemmy as a Reddit refugee and this is a primer of the content quality I see. Very encouraging.
Besides, the problem with these boomer-y posts is that, in a relationship, it should be you two vs. the problem, not one against the other. In the latter case, the relationship doesn't work.
Haha yes, good joke, by the way, have you seen these new fangled automobiles? They'll never replace the good old fashioned horse and carriage. I also hear some Austrian dickhead is making moves in Germany - hope it doesn't spark another war. Anyway, I'm off to beat my wife and suppress my emotions, because it's apparently 1920.
Oh, be fair, lots of men still beat their wives and suppress their emotions.
Tru tru, likely cos they wanna harken to a century ago when it was practically the law
Well, some probably. But also, humans are often violent. It's pretty hardwired in. And some men are wired to be more violent than others unfortunately. That's before we even get into cycles of abuse and all that environmental stuff. Like, the 1920s were three generations ago. Not excusing them at all, but lots of men are dealing with generational trauma that easily goes back further than that.
As a trans woman who spent a lot of her life as a violent man, I have some perspective on this.
The tendency to blow up and hit things? Those are panic attacks. Men don't like to think of themselves as having sissy emotional problems and so they just try to stubbornly power through their panic by yelling and hitting things, but like, a good cry really fucking helps you know? Meds too! Take a break, get some fresh air, take some deep breaths, fix your makeup, it's going to be okay. No need to break shit.
That's a really great observation. I've had a couple mild panic attacks and I could see how someone could lash out if they didn't understand what they were experiencing.
Excuses. Trauma can cause aberrant behaviour, true, but unless your moral center is corrupted by toxic beliefs, you will recognise those behaviours as wrong and feel bad about it. The types of people who think the dynamic pictured in the OP are standard have either been raised with or have discovered and adopted an ideology of patriarchy, that presents such "wife bad" mentality as morally good.
So yes, you may have anger issues or problems with violence because of trauma, but you will still feel remorse because you now it's wrong. Or, on the other hand, you may simply believe that such violence and domination is the natural social order and thus be a toxic scumbag.
The toxic beliefs that are taught are part of the trauma. Certainly not an excuse, no, but good to be aware of if we want to help people break the cycle.
As far as the whole "sleep on the couch" thing, I don't tend to think grown adults should be telling one another where they're allowed to sleep just because one of them is upset, but that's a different topic.
Sorry i punched you in the face, i thought it was okay because daddy did it
Pretty much...
Excuses
Explanations aren't excuses, and without explanations we can't fix the problem. Villainizing can be useful and certainly feels good but it doesn't accomplish much else.
If you're looking at this pic and thinking it describes a normal relationshio dynamic, yeah, it's being used as an excuse.
If you look through my comments in this thread you'll see that nowhere have I said anything like that. In fact at one point I said that neither adult in a relationship should get to dictate where the other person sleeps.
This is a pre-boomer joke 💪
Got the dog and a blanket. What more could you want?
Another dog so you can pet one with each hand.
Or, you could pet the same dog with both hands.
Lemmy Shitpost != Facebook
😡 2 👊 1 😂 345 💪69
You’re just jealous of driveway
You're not wrong.
Uh, how old are you, op? This is boomer level garbage.
Boomer humor is what I call it, it's succinct.
Ah, yes, thank you.
Old enough to not require a clip of subway surfer to enjoy a meme.
Uphill both ways in the snow?
Onion on his belt, which was the style at the time.
stupid question but I've seen in American tv shows that the wife asks the husband to sleep on the couch when she's not happy with him.. is that a stereotype or does it really happen?
I’m Australian, but my fiancé and I tend to do the inverse. Whoever is angry sleeps on the couch.
It’s a much better system, because it incentivises trying to solve the problem
What if both are angry? :D
Then we both sleep on the couch obviously
Nice.
Then netflix makes a true crime docuseries about the murder
Canadian confirming that the angry party leaves the bed. Usually me because I need time to think it through, get pissy and maybe a little childish, get over being pissy and childish and then go talk about it once I've realized how I was probably wrong or have come up with a way that accurately describes how I was wronged and why that makes me angry or sad. My husband is also the type that needs to think it out before talking so it works, unfortunately his process is way slower than mine.
I don't know if it is a healthy way of dealing but it works for both of us and neither of us had healthy examples of any relationship in our lives so we take what we can get
calming down taking time to think things through sounds like a healthy relationship to me
If my wife’s mad at me for something I said or did, she’ll sleep on the couch. -American
Canadian here. The upset person sleeps on the couch. Rarely happens because our couch isn’t comfortable lol.
Yes, it's true. Source: have slept on the couch once.
I have a firm no one kicks me out of my own bed rule
Happenens to me when i win the argument. This is not mysogony but reality. Ofc not all woman are like that.
Yeah but you dared bring that up on the internet which makes you an incel loser
Well, this is my first 30 minutes on Lemmy as a Reddit refugee and this is a primer of the content quality I see. Very encouraging.
Besides, the problem with these boomer-y posts is that, in a relationship, it should be you two vs. the problem, not one against the other. In the latter case, the relationship doesn't work.
Did the dog argue with his wife too ?
Dogs being a bro. Dogs feel sorry for you when your upset or sad.
What the dog doing ?
Auditioning for new wife
Oh the wife hating jokes, great, everyone loves those. Not immature and toxic at all.
Its not hate. It's not toxic. It's dramatic irony. You don't have to laugh, but this isn't meant to be hurtful to anyone.
The only people getting upset are the singles I bet
Casual misogyny isn't meant to hurt anyone either but it still does.
It's not funny at all.
It’s fucking hilarious
You know you don't have to listen right? Just sleep where you want to.
You own a house. You already won even if you lost the argument.
He's just renting.
Proud to support my landlord’s lifestyle
It's a joke, it's harmless... Why are so many people so mad about this?
Because anything that even slightly criticizes women even in a perceived way means you're just an incel loser
Guess most women are incel losers too then
This looks cozy. I might just cause an argument to be able to do it. Oh wait, I'm single, I can already do it. Oh wait, I live in an apartment.
Who said you had to sleep on your own driveway?
Ooh... Sleepover!
Why is the fan so far away?
It’s noisy?
You could swap out the wife subject for dad, grandma or whatever and the joke would still work, funny how people are getting worked up over this
Wife bad
This is misogynistic garbage. Leave this shit on Reddit where it belongs. We can do better.
Honestly asking, because I don't see it:
Shhhhh! 🤫
Leave them be in their bubble!
It’s gendered but obviously not misogynistic.
Can't take a joke lol
Hey guys, I'm going to make a funny!
Are you ready?
Wife bad.
You tried
Ironically it's about the level of sense of humor those who would find this offensive have.