Please stop talking

slin@feddit.de to ADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.com – 921 points –
39

Best part it when you think you know where people are going, tune out and then realize you were wrong.

Or you‘re rude enough to interrupt them because you can‘t wait but then get it wrong

They interrupt me when I go off on a tangent, so it balances out.

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Also like this when it’s someone using wayyyy too many words to describe something they want done. Conversational blueballs when someone asks me, for (exaggerated) example, to take out the trash by saying “hey so you know we have these bins in our house that hold trash and that’s where we put all the trash and the trash eventually piles up and we have to do this weekly ritual where we take the trash and put it into bags and move it to the bins outside so that someone can come collect it and then we can put more trash in the bags so what I’m really trying to say is can you open the door and go grab the trash bins because that’s how you take out the trash right you just grab the trash and walk it outside and put it—“

PLEASE stop talking you could have just said “can you take the trash out?”

Yeah, that’s what I hate the most I guess.

Or even worse when they ask “do you know this”, you say “yes”, and they tell it anyways with every little unnecessary detail, like you said “no I never heard of that please tell me everything about it”.

To be fair the amount of times I ask someone if they understand and then I explain it just for them to have no idea what I'm talking about.

Basically I do it to make sure you actually understand and aren't just saying you do

My blood pressure spiked just reading this.

Unfortunately, i guess peoples sentences and talk too much.........

There are some things we shouldn’t have to be told to do. Shared chores are one of them.

Not sure how true your example is, but that’s what the example sounded like it was about.

It was definitely just an example, but even if it wasn’t, my point was not about the chore, it was about the rambling. I seem to encounter lots of people who just have hard times getting to the damn point.

There are two people I regularly talk to who will basically explain how to do something before asking me to do it, no matter what it is, and it’s infuriating. It’s not that I don’t know how to do it either, it’s like wanting me to get them a water bottle or helping them lift something turns into a labyrinthine explanation or justification.

A real example is: “Could you do me a favor? Can you walk over to the refrigerator, open the door, and grab a water bottle and get it for me?” vs. “Can you get me a water bottle?”

Or another one recently: “So it’s Friday, and you know I just think it would be nice if you could call X, like just open your phone and dial their number, and once they pick up, if you could just real quick ask them if when they get home if they would be willing to eat Chinese food?” vs. “Would you call X and ask if they want Chinese food for dinner?”

I mean, sometimes my wife has thrown something extra smelly in the garbage while cooking and wants me to take the quarter-full bag out so the house doesn't reek.

I should absolutely be asked to take the trash out in that case, and she shouldn't need a whole story for said request. She frequently does because that's just her communication style. Lots of extras. Mucho frustrating for me.

But it's probably just an example for illustration.

Dammit, every time I read one of these ADHD posts I'm like, that personality trait of mine I've had since childhood is ADHD too? I'm too old for this shit. If they could just drop the H I could accept it but I'm lazy af. I'll just wait a few more months and let them decide I have Alzheimer's instead.

Hyperactivity in adults is often masked or internalized. If you keep yourself tapping a rythm, bouncing your leg or repeating some tune in your head over and over you might just qualify for further diagnosis.

Damn, we gotta stop the music industry. They are spreading it like a virus!

None of the above.

Although maybe I would have more energy if I cut out caffeine, if that reverse thing is true. Yesterday I had 2 coffees and a tea and then took a nap.

I read this as my leg bounces to the rhythm to a song playing in repeat in my head for the last three days. I'll consider it.

ADD used to be a separate diagnosis, but now they classify both as subtypes of ADHD: Primarily Hyperactive or Primarily Inattentive. I'm ADHD-PI and can't relate to stereotypical hyperactivity at all.

Not everyone is hyperactive.

ADHD is the whole spectrum, each individual presents differently, with more/less of each attribute.

ADD is a subtype. Last I read there were a number of subtypes, sort of a matrix of attributes.

It took them years to figure it out with me. I was in high school in the mid 90s before they diagnosed me with ADD, and gave me a prescription of Adderall and unleashed me on university a year later.

I wish I had been able to be medicated a bit longer, but the few years I had it gave me some good habits.

so freaking true, then by the time it's over you have formulated a plan and already forgot core details of the beginning of the convo

If I don't interject now, they'll have moved on to something mildly tangential and I'll forget the response I was going to make!

This is an ADHD thing?? Maybe i really should get myself tested

It's not inherently an ADHD thing, but it's a common experience we share

Something I try to convey to people is that ADHD is like a collective bucket of things. So you might have some symptoms but not all, while others can be categorized as ADHD and have completely different symptoms and experiences.

A lot of people will try to downplay ADHD with nonsense platitudes like “oh everyone deals with that” or “ADHD doesn’t exist”, etc. The reality is that it’s completely nuanced and categorizing things (or yourself) as ADHD is a way to simplify explaining it, open the lines of conversation and self-discovery, and add some detail to something that can be chaotic.

ADHD is not like an illness where everyone has the same symptoms, thus it can’t be painted out with broad brush strokes. It’s still being sorted out and a person’s experiences, life, and other factors play a huge role.

Everyone experiences the things in these memes sometimes. If you experience them often enough, and in tandem with several others, to the point that it inhibits your normal daily life then it might be an ADHD thing.

No. ADHD is when there is an ad in a video and it plays in hd resolution despite the video being in different but usually lower quality.

Nah, people on the Internet overuse "ADHD" and "autism" and "obsessive compulsive". Most of this stuff isn't backed up by anything.

Hmm, in the meantime ADD me is more like: "wait, did I hear somebody talk to me? Yes, I heard words, but they made no sense. Better ask them to repeat themselves." Only for everything they said to suddenly click the moment they start to reiterate the first word of what they said. Slow word-processing is so annoying.

If I don't say something while it's there in my brain I'm likely to forget it by the time it's my turn to talk, as my mind has already moved on to other things.

I just sing phone hold music with my inner voice. “Your interlocuteur needs to finish their sentence, please hold until they’re done, we apologize for the inconvenience “.

This is me! Is this not true for everyone? I always found it weird how we just have to stay there for many seconds, pretending not to know what one is about to say..

me except I'm the manager and kinda tune out sometimes besides my best intentions

I can and will do a 10 minute plank. I will NOT listen to 2 additional seconds of my mom searching for a word.

(this has become a minor point of contention between us ajd I am unsure how to resolve it)