Will people respond better if you say you're teetotal, or straight edge?
Or just "I don't do drugs", or "I don't do recreational drugs"?
Or "I don't smoke weed" and "I don't drink alcohol" when they come up, separately?
I wouldn't generally say it at all unless I'm in a situation where I'm offered recreational drugs such as cannabis or alcohol.
My understanding is the term 'straight edge' might be more well known than 'teetotal', but neither are completely known by everyone.
I take straight edge to mean not doing any recreational drugs. However I read that straight edge can have punk culture connotations that some people might maintain are part of it. Like I might meet a punk straight edger who claims I'm not really straight edge unless I have connections to the punk scene. They also apparently often claim you need to be vegan to be straight edge, I am vegan though coincidentally but not for reasons relating to straight edge culture.
Teetotal I believe most often means abstinence from simply alcohol, but can be used to mean abstaining from all recreational drugs (I think). It may be more well known as just not drinking alcohol. For example teetotallers often still smoke weed.
Apologies if I misrepresented any of these terms.
If "no, thanks" is not treated as a complete sentence, you're in a bad crowd. Doesn't matter if it's beer with the coworkers or MDMA at a trippy cuddle party. "No" requires no further elaboration.
If you feel like discussing your reasons, feel free to bring them up. But you should not have to. If your "no" is not accepted about drugs, get out -- because those people are in the habit of rejecting people's "no" on other things, too.
And by the way, this rule is just as important, maybe more so, for people who do choose to take recreational drugs sometimes. Just because I'm okay having a beer in one context does not oblige me to do shots with your buddies.
What are these trippy cuddle parties and where can one find them?
Asking for a friend obviously
Yea, they get a "No, thank you". If they persist after that they get a "Fuck off". I don't owe anyone an explanation. Fortunately my friends I go out with will back me up if anyone gets pissed about my attitude.
It’s a situation where the label carries a burden. How often does it come up that you need a prepared response? No judgement, but If you’re thinking this much about it you might be hanging out with the wrong crowd. “No thanks” should be enough, and being pressured further into doing something you don’t want to do is a red flag. I don’t think either label is going to help you.
That ones your best choice.
I find that adding an "...anymore" adds a lot of baggage that'll make people drop it and accept your choices
"Not since... The incident..."
"What happened?"
"I don't talk about it.... anymore...."
Eh, just a plain ol "nah, it's not my thing" has sufficed whenever I've been offered a hit.
Don't be weird about it and they won't either.
agreed. a good stoner doesn't force anyone to smoke (although they may accidentally hotbox the room) and just wants everyone to be at their ideal level of high, even if thats not at all.
Just state it clearly without buzz words.
"Sorry, I don't (drink/smoke/whatever - just fill in the blank)."
Alternately, no is a complete sentence: You don't owe anyone any explanation.
Don't say "sorry". You have no reason to apologize.
Just say no thanks. No need to tell them that it's a life long choice.
If you're in a party or other social event keep a drink with you, water or whatever you like. When someone offers you something just bring your glass up and say thanks, im fine. 9/10 times people are going to be cool with that. Someone might ask you what are you drinking, being honest is the best imo, you can start a conversation about it. Do not say things like "I don't need alcohol/drugs to enjoy a party" it's sounds condescending and like you're moraly superior, you are not. If someone asks if you already tried, say yes but you didn't really like it. If they try to pressure you, just leave, they are shitty people.
Anybody worth talking to won’t care what you call it friend.
Could probably say that you’re sober 15 years. People tend to be more understanding of people in recovery
I don't smoke and barely drink. I don't even like caffeine. I don't need labels about it. It doesn't make me a teetotaler or straight edge. I like cookies and ice cream more than any of that stuff!
I actually think it can be harder to communicate moderation. I have a friend who's a recovering alcoholic and when he says "I don't drink" he rarely gets any pushback.
Whereas I do drink sometimes, and even get drunk very occassionally, but can go weeks without it. Some people have trouble with the idea that I drank one time they saw me but are choosing not to the next time. It's a bit like the way some straight or gay people can't wrap their heads around the concept of bisexuality... "which one are you? Straight or gay? Teetotal or drinker?" 😂
I had good luck with just "not tonight" as someone who drinks extremely infrequently
Get a jacket, get some Casey Jones, Have Heart, and early Refused (since you're vegan) patches sewed on. Mohawk you're hair, tattoo giant Xs on your hands, and go around picking fights with people who drink or do drugs.
Now you're straightedge
I've seen more people get weird about not drinking alcohol than not smoking weed, personally.
It's fucling odd. I was at a friends birthday party and his dad was there too. He asked me if i wanted some of his schnaps, or whatever hard liquor it was. I said no thanks. He poured it anyway. I said i'm not gonna drink it. He said it's really good. I said i don't drink, so i don't drink that. He sait it's really good. I said i don't drink, so i don't drink it. He said i can still drive after one shot. I said i don't want his gross ass shot. This happens pretty much every time. You don't drink? AT ALL? NEVER? but how? Not even beer? Not even on special occasions? But you drink wine, do you? Not even to a good piece of meat? No, it's disgusting, even i i would eat meat. YOU DON'T EAT MEAT?
Straightedge is a punk subculture, so if you're not into the music then I wouldn't use the term.
People respond best when you just say "no" (sorry to quote Nancy), and don't try to excuse away your response. Just say no, or no thanks, or nah, or not today, and move on. If they pressure you tell them to back the fuck up.
I live in Wisconsin, and if there's one thing Wisconsin is known for is a strong drinking culture. I've had extremely good luck with simply saying "not tonight" or "no thank you" or at strongest "I have to be good for my drive home"
If you specifically identify yourself as a teetotaler or straight edge or whatever could be interpreted as seeing yourself as better than others who just want to experience an altered state of mind, which is not a good first impression to make.
My dude, I gave up alcohol 12 years ago and I can feel your question in my bones.
The only responses I've found that
don't causeminimize follow-up bullshit are:"Oh I'm taking antobiotics at the moment and the doc said I can't drink while I'm on them."
and
"Sorry, I'm designated driver tonight! I know, it's so annoying but I promised my gf/friends..."
Anyone you see frequently enough to know these are white lies should be cool with you not drinking/getting high anyway.
Yes, it's bullshit that you have to lie but I've found that telling the truth just leads to drunk/high idiots pestering you and basically not accepting any explanation. Using the white lies above shifts the blame onto someone else, and then people just seem to accept it.
And if your friends don't respect that you want to stay sober, then you can probably do without them in your life.
Ah so you found yourself in the old conundrum of not wanting to do drugs but also not wanting to seem boring, not cool and weak.
The solution is simple: just tell your friends that their drugs are shit and you are way more hardcore. Weed?! I mainline brown brown bitch.
Myself, when asked about my relationship to a particular substance that I don't use, I'll say either "I quit that - it doesn't agree with me" or "well, I haven't started it yet."
The term "recreational drugs" feels pretty vague to me. Just off the top of my head, I personally don't do alcohol, nicotine, opioids (including kratom), psychedelics, dissociatives, deleriants (at least not at doses that produce deleriant effects), THC, or caffeine. I also don't use any prescription medications currently. But I definitely do exogenous psychoactive substances "recreationally." Chamomile (which has depressant properties) and CBD, mostly. I've been known to experiment with mugwart, a mild stimulant as well. And there have been times in my life when I have used caffeine. Whether my use of melatonin could be considered "recreational" is probably pretty open to interpretation. Most people wouldn't consider those uses to qualify as "recreational drug use" but I think the distinction is largely a political tool wielded for some pretty nefarious and inhumane purposes.
Furthermore, I'd expect that most people who would say they "don't use recreational drugs" probably actually imbibe in ways that could be at least debatable.
I don't personally think I'd want to use the terms "teetotaler" or "straight edge." At least not entirely unironically. I guess I think it sounds self-righteous, dogmatic, or even condemnatory. I like to put a little more emphasas on the fact that I'm not better than the person I'm talking to by acknowledging there's a possibility I might imbibe at some point in the future or that I did at one point in the past. Some of that may well be paranoia from social anxiety, however.
Hopefully this was somewhat helpful. I'm happy enough with how I communicate that I don't do such-and-such substance. It's served me well and I don't plan to change it any time soon.
There is nothing wrong with using substances (that do not cause a debilitation addiction/dependency)
However, that doesn't mean there is something wrong with NOT doing them either. There isn't. It is absolutely your choice, if someone cannot respect that then you probably shouldn't hang out with them at least in that context because they will keep pressuring you.
For instance, I do not like alcohol, when I go to get fucked up with my buddies, I am not drinking alcohol because the high sucks and the comedown+after effects suck even more. My buddies who know understand this, but I have had friends who absolutely did not understand this and would pressure me into doing it all the time. Needless to say, I don't go and get fucked up with them anymore.
Oh, absolutely. I have no problem with other people doing recreational drugs. I see it as entirely their choice as it only really affects them personally. I don't think it's immoral or "sinful" (whatever that really means) or whatever.
And I think most people do respect that. I do appreciate these responses that make it clear that we should respect if someone either does or doesn't want to consume recreational drugs.
But I really was just looking for a term to explain abstinence of recreational drugs to people who I know won't judge or care, but without the baggage or misunderstandings that may come with saying "sober" (possible assumption: former/recovering alcoholic/addict), "teetotal" (possible misunderstanding: doesn't use alcohol, might still be fine with other recreational drugs), or "straight edge" (possible misunderstanding: not only doesn't consume drugs, but also is into the punk music scene).
After gathering data, the best term I could come up with is quite a simple one: "drug-free". To be clear, we could say "recreational drug-free", though that's rather wordy and the meaning of "recreational drugs" is often understood by just saying "drugs" anyway.
I know you didn't ask but I just thought I'd say this anyway lol.
I agree with most of what you said. I think the only time drug use can become immoral is if your usage brings legitimate suffering upon others.
Right, like smoking in front of a baby (and exposing them to second-hand smoke). I guess that's a good example. But that's more to do with the way you're going about doing the drugs, rather than the drug use itself as an inherent component, I suppose.
"I'm a person just like you but I've got better things to do"
Why not just say no instead of telling everyone that you're boring?
Just because someone doesn’t use drugs or alcohol, doesn’t mean they’re boring.
Someone who uses the term 'teetotal' is without a doubt, boring.
Yes it does.
@SeahorseTreble I'd say say "no thanks, I'm sober" I guess but I'd definitely invite you golfing (it's teatotal, like the beverage, not teetotaler). 😉
Confidently incorrect
@GentlemanLoser That's some weird assed etymology on that word. But at least I'm not a dick about being correo.
@SeahorseTreble
It's teetotal.
It’s T-total
Like testosterone to the max
It's titotal. It's all about them teats.