People who can control their dreams - what is it like?

Damaskox@kbin.social to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 54 points –

Epic tales, mastering the universe, or just reading a good book next to a fireplace?

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I've gotten there a few times, and in my semi-dream state I did a bunch of work and cleaned my house. So imagine my disappointment when I woke up and none of that was actually done 😔

Years ago when I was going through an extremely stressful period at work, when I wasn't a rampant insomniac, I had the dumbest fucking dreams.

They were about grocery shopping, house cleaning - all like you say, frustrating as hell when you wake up and find everything is still a pit - but the worst were the work dreams.

I'd have entire stakeholder meetings, run workshops, present to the project board, have debriefs with my staff - and then have to relive the whole fucking thing the next day.

I was basically working in both my awake and sleeping hours. A constant feeling of deja vu. Having to actually double check my calendar to see whether the big meeting had already happened or not. What a fucking horrible time that was.

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I learned about lucid dreaming from an old book I found when I was 18, and I began practicing. Because flying has been my passion since I was 5, I focused on that.

At first, I would run and take long leaps, like I was in low gravity. After a few weeks, one leap would keep me about 6 feet above the ground until I wanted to drop back down. I’d remain vertical with my arms relaxed at my sides, and just lean a bit for direction. About a year after I began flying every night, I could lay down and then close my eyes while making one push off the ground with my right foot and I’d be immediately at tree line. I loved flying through my neighborhood and the city, hovering over streets, visiting the houses of my friends, sometimes popping in to see them.

My dreams were in real time, so it was late at night and they were almost always asleep. It felt like an out of body experience.

I’d learned from the book how to make recurring dream threats your friend, and I befriended the wolves that had terrified my dream life at least once a week for over ten years. It was an incredibly empowering experience.

After a few years, I was in a lost time in life, and my dream flying reflected how out of control I was. By then, every time I laid my head on my pillow, my right foot reflexively tapped and I was off. But now, I was shooting straight up faster than a rocket and zipping beyond the moon in just a few seconds. I started panicking that I’d “lose my earth tether” and never be able to find my way back. I believed that I needed to return to my body in order to wake up. So now going to sleep was a threat in my mind. It took weeks to de-condition myself to stop flying.

In retrospect, I should have taken control, but my day life had really gone off the deep end and I think this is how it manifested. I haven’t practiced lucid dreaming or flying since I was 28, but I miss that exhilaration of zooming at tree line in a place I loved.

I don't have nightmares any more, last one was when I was a kid and I drop-kicked some shadow monster person, just weird dreams where my brain will chip in a go "hang on that's not how it works", equally I don't have ultimate control like I consciously decide what I dream about it's usually just life with the weird filter turned on.

I remember my last bad dream. (many years ago)

I was running from some sort of skeleton things through a back alley. One of them caught me and we started fighting. In the struggle I managed to pin it down and yelled "Why are you chasing me?"

It stopped struggling and looked and me somewhat bewildered. "Because you were running." It tried a few times to scare me into running again but I refused, so we just sat there and had an awkward conversation instead. Turns out my sleep demons are just as weird as I am.

Nightmares for me have absolutely nothing to do with the content of the dream. Like, I could be in am absolutely normal scene, say a park or shop or hotel but it's ominous as fuck and I am utterly terrified. Sometimes my mind will then throw scary content at me, but not always. Other times there is objectively terrifying stuff going on but I am calm and serene and just face it, no feeling of fear at all.

The more control I have, the more likely I am to wake up, which is pretty annoying. Although, on the flip side, waking up through choice to avoid bad dreams is how I originally developed the skill of lucid dreaming. Noticing the signs of waking up and choosing to stay asleep is kind of a weird thing to do too, but it can lead to sleep paralysis.

However in any case, the level of control I have varies. Often, I am able to fly from danger or decide something didn't happen and try again. More rarely I know there are no consequences to any of my actions and can completely control space, time and narrative. It's odd knowing it's a dream, but it still feels real. Though, still with a dream brain memory and dream logic, I'm not necessarily thinking as sensibly as I would do when awake.

Noticing the signs of waking up and choosing to stay asleep is kind of a weird thing to do too, but it can lead to sleep paralysis.

Whoa, whoa, careful what things you're saying here. This could make me, at least, worry about going back to sleep

This is how I use control with lucid dreaming. If something is taking a wrong turn I just say "No" and either remove the bad part or rewind on something that doesn't make sense. I don't really want to actively control the dream because I want to know what my subconscious is trying to tell me.

It's a skill like any other, so it's going to differ depending on you. But, B. It feels like being a wizard or demigod of some sort.

It always reminded me of those stories (like, D&D/myth type stuff) where a godling of some sort is fairly vulnerable most of the time, until they get onto their own home plane, where they become fully omnipotent again. Kinda a "you don't want to fuck with me here" sort of thing.

Probably colored by the fact I had my first one as a child, and used it to stop a nightmare in progress, which was very memorable.

I used to do it all the time as a kid accidentally to stop nightmares, but never knew I could do it on purpose, or really control things beyond "make the scary stop."

Then when I learned about lucid dreaming, I started practicing and managed it several times, but stopped when a dream character noticed what I was doing, and tried to murder me for it in one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I'm aware there's nothing supernatural or anything about it, and I understand the science behind it... But I ain't gonna lie, that woman in the bog flying towards me with her feet off the ground, screeching "you don't belong here!" And slamming into my chest, waking me up with phantom sensations of her touch? It scared me straight, and I haven't had the balls to try again. Lol.

Yeah, you never can guarantee initiating a lucid moment, it happens to you. You can cultivate the tendency, but that's it.

But once you start remembering it and consciously thinking about it, it starts to become a little more accessible to your sleeping mind. I think this is what makes dream journals so effective for developing the skill in the first place.

But yeah, that happening and simply not remembering in the split second you have to do so would kinda suck. Though I would be slightly tempted, personally, to process the experience a little bit now that I'm awake, and then go like "fine. let's dance bitch." and go back to sleep. Because all I need is to become lucid at any point, and I can summon her to be dealt with.

I had a lot of practice focusing on and thinking about dreams in general though.

edit: Considering this a little further, when I said "dealt with" that struck an unfortunate tone that I didn't fully intend. It's useful imo to remember that she is a figment of your imagination, and she wouldn't be there if there wasn't a reason for it. So, my "dealt with" isn't like levitating her into the sky to slowly disintegrate her from the toes up or something. I would probably get started by simply asking that slice of my own mind, what does she want? Why is she here?

Likely sentence would be banishment on pain of destruction, but it would depend on what she said.

I've never had full control, but there have been many times I've realized I'm dreaming, nudged the dream in a preferred direction and then swiftly let my consciousness over the dream fade so it could continue without interruption.

The more control I exert on my dreams, the more likely I am to consciously blink and actually blink myself awake. Gentle nudges in the direction I want to dream is the only path for me.

I've only managed it once, flying around a featureless void, exulting in the feeling of control. Then a fistfight, again with a featureless opponent. It felt like controlling the dream to that extent and not waking up took a lot of brain power

So in the beginning all you see is like "low-resolution" which gets polished as the skill grows?

I assume so, it takes constant effort and practice to be able to do it at all though, that was over 10 years ago now when I was in my first year at university, I haven't had the time to dedicate to it since 😅

It rarely happened but usually it goes like this: something bad or undesirable happens; it could be a nightmare but that’s rare, and the only instance where i get “control” of my dream is when i know what’s going to happen and i can stop it. Anyhow, by failing to prevent the undesirable outcome I basically sort of become aware and return to the point where the undesirable outcome was almost happening, again and again until I either wake up or prevent it.

Yep, my experience is similar. It's usually dreams where I'm about to die.

Once, and only once, the dream ended with me deciding to enter the mystic portal and me subsequently finding myself standing alone in the hallway of a Hampton Inn in Salt Lake City at 3:00am.

I was in my jammies. No socks, no room key, no phone. I contemplated many options to get myself out of the situation, but they were all objectively bad. The only high point of the experience is that the breakfast bar hadn't opened in the lobby, so this remains something shared between only me and the night clerk. Neither of us were happy, but she was wearing more clothing.

My main takeaways for hotel stays and dreams:
-jammies must have pockets
-jammies must have full coverage
-spare key cards are in the pockets
-never enter the mystic portal that you summoned

Mystic portals: never again

I can’t say I can control what I dream but occasionally I’m aware that I’m dreaming and then I feel like I’m much more in control of the situation because I know nothing bad can really happen.

Like playing a video game with God mode on.

Unfortunately the more things I alter in the dream the more likely I am to wake myself up.

The term is 'lucid dreaming' and it's great. Most times I'm on autopilot, but once I become 'aware', I'm usually flying around like superman. I avoid getting sexual because those tend to wake me up lol

I can remember only once where I would say I was lucid dreaming. I was walking down an old, fairly creepy, dimly lit street, and as I approached a corner I thought "wait, I hate horror" and conjured up a gun. At this point I knew I had control, and ended up walking into a nearby pub or tavern to start playing Cards Against Humanity with some mates.

When i was a horny little teenager i tried to fuvk everything in my dreams, and would always wake up. Now when i control my dreams, shit usually goes so sideways that i have to kill myself to wake up. It's kinda fun in a way, but even dream suicide is pretty gnarly. Like i jumped out of my parents windows countless times to end a dream, and everytime there is a little part of me that thinks mid air: this IS a dream right?

I avoid getting sexual because those tend to wake me up lol

Oh! Peculiar!

You have to go with the flow as too much distribution and excitement wakes you up. Seems the biggest focus is keeping awareness but not too much. Best thing that works for me is to expect what you want in the next location and travel there. You also figure out how to force yourself awake if you get an unpleasant dream.

Uhm if I do a lot I feel tired , wake up groggy. Is fun in general. My nightmares are super manageable but I still like to sit back and let my brain do its thing is less taxing for me and more fun and unexpected. I haven't manage not dreaming on purpose, I wonder if that's possible.

Edit: just realised that you ask about tales and reading. I can't read very well in my dreams , when I read is all weird and even numbers look kind of off, so I haven't being able to do that not that I have tried very hard. Lmao uhm I guess I am able to consistently do magic in my dreams and dream different scenario in fantasy worlds like harry potter , lord of the ring or song of ice and fire. If I am reading something IRL I can go through it again in my head and watch it like a movie if I really want to. I don't like flying and wet dreams are extra fun too (ﾉ´∀｀*)

In the very, very, very rare moments that happens to me it always feels like everything is speeding up super fast and I can barely hold control for longer than a few seconds before waking up.

Yeah I've had a few but exactly that happens. I've had one or two where I got full control. Mostly either I noticed and the dream hits superspeed or I am aware long enough to only nudge my dream before I forget again. That's whenever I remember my dreams at all, usually I don't.

It's shit. The fun in dreaming is in experiencing the absurd, that's why I don't change my dreams even when I'm aware it's a dream (unless there's a particularly good oportunity to do so).

It's like stepping into a strange alien world, that is also (somehow) 100% safe... but the few times i have reached this world, it vanishes seconds later (feels like it is because increased brain activity of the awareness) so it is also a very fragile and precious state (for me).

Lucid dreams? Generally I explore and try to stay lucid without waking up. It's impossible to read in a dream, more than a sentence or so, and numbers don't work either - that is actually one of the ways you can realize it's a dream.

Floating is nice, but usually I try not to control much just explore. It's really nice to just be somewhere other than real life.

One time I did try to meditate while lucid dreaming and it scared the living hell out of me, felt like if I let go of "self" while in the dream I'd lose everything that is me, or just die.

Absolute dream slut too, cannot believe so few here say (admit?) they are doing that.

Torono spok lala, Torono spok lala, Torono spok lala, Torono spok lala, Torono spok lala, Torono spok lala, Torono spok lala.

EDIT: Probably "toorono spok lara".

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It's a voodoo mantra. It supposedly helps to have control of your dreams if you repeat it before going to sleep. I read about it like twenty years ago. I was a bit surprised that it is not spread all over the internet.

I don't remember the last time I had an actual dream at night. I just black out and wake up in the morning.

You almost certainly have multiple dreams every night. You have just trained your mind to see them as insignificant so they just go away like the color of the eyes of the last waiter you had. If you would like to remember your dreams there is a lot you can do to let your brain know you want to again.

I think some people have a dream diary.

Does that help?

Yeah, having a dream journal is a great idea! Just having it there and ready to use to write down absolutely anything you can remember from your dreams will start to make your brain realize that these memories are something you want to remember. Also, a dream journal is traditionally a notebook and paper, but a voice recorder works great too. There is an app called "sleep for android" that starts recording when it hears your voice so you don't even have to move. Movement has a tendency to erase dreams, so whatever you do have your method very near by, and ready to go. There are pens with red led tips on amazon or wherever that make it so you don't have to even turn on the light.

Having a dream journal ready is just the first step though. For one, maybe even with a dream journal you still won't remember your dreams at first, so you may need to do something else to get the ball rolling. Throughout the night you go through various stages of sleep, in some stages you are much more likely to have vivid dreams. If you make yourself wake up with an alarm right after one of these stages(REM) then you will much more likely have a dream fresh in your mind. Everyone's stages are of different lengths, so it may take a little trial and error, and there is lots of help online with fine tuning things, but in general I would say to set an alarm for about 5 hours after you go to bed. Your REM stages get longer as the night goes on, by 5 hours they are pretty long. This is also a good time to try out lucid dream techniques(WILD, WBTB..) as you go back to sleep.

There is more you can do to increase your chances as well. Limit bright lights/screens in the 30min to an hour before bed. Don't eat right before bed. Try to watch yourself fall asleep, just pay attention to how your mind changes. Tell yourself while you are laying in bed that you would like to remember your dreams, but it is OK if you don't, just set your intention.

Once you do start having dreams it is important to go over them. Read them throughout the day, and before bed, look for anything that sticks out as especially interesting to you. Look for patterns or similarities between your dreams. Pay attention to these things in real life when they happen, and get in the habit of doing serious "reality checks" in your daily life where you really try to determine whether or not you are currently dreaming, I know this may seem silly, but you want to take it seriously in real life if you want to take it seriously in your dream life. There are lots of different kinds of reality check ideas online, but it's things like thinking about exactly how you got to the place that you are right now, do you have all your fingers, does text look readable, do light switches work, think about where you are then close your eyes and think about if you are in the same place as before you closed them. There's tons of these, but this comment is getting long.

This just scratches the surface, but is plenty to get started. For in depth material there are some really great lucid dreaming books, Stephen LaBerge is fantastic. The practice of "Dream Yoga"(it is its own thing, not doing what it typically thought of as yoga in dreams) is a fascinating extention of lucid dreaming and there is some really good information out there on this as well. If lucid dreaming is the most incredible entertainment system ever, then dream yoga is the most incredible experiment labratory.