Trump's Closing Pitch to Voters: I Will Let You Die If You Don't Bow to My Demands

ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to politics @lemmy.world – 526 points –
Trump's Closing Pitch to Voters: I Will Let You Die If You Don't Bow to My Demands
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Well, no. California will be forced to use its own tax dollars to fight fires and whatnot instead of sending that money to the federal pot to be doled out to the red states that hoover that shit up like a coke whore in a Columbian cartel wearhouse.

You know, now that you mention it...maybe that's not such a bad idea, eh, Donny-boy? You keep yours, we'll keep ours, and we'll see who has the better economy after.

Liberal states will get invaded and treated as foreign territories

Too bad we have most of the population, more guns, and more active duty service members.

Red states don't have shit.

They have me. A Texan who will giggle while he performs sabotage

If the giggles are Texas sized it’s legal

Are you in a Beastie Boys cover band?

I'm Jewish, so... Yes, officer?

That checks out, I guess we can spare this one from the lox up.

What was this detainment about, then? Get me my lawyer! You're just trying to schmear my good name!

I don't have any good puns; I just want some lox'n'bagels and this seems the place to get them.

Sabotage on Texas?

Goung for the plausible deniability aspect.

Electric grid implodes It was like that when I got there, sir.

"Oh my god! They blew up WHAT???"

-massive explosion in background-

*ahem* "Oh my god! They blew up WHAT???"

As the saying goes, Steel wins battles, gold wins wars. That's why I'd bet on California.

“Sounds great to me!” - a large percentage of Americans currently.

Trump voters do everything out of spite. They invent some really obviously stupid excuse to be mad at Democrats and use that as a justification to vote for Trump.

If it can't have nice things, nobody can. Fuck the other people over as much as possible.

That's the MOST Pro Life thing I've ever Heard!

Huh. I guess he is Christian after all. Because according to the bible that's basically God's stance too.

Also he wants to get his little hands all over Arnold’s Palmer.

I'm recalling something about how terrible Hillary was - according to the Enlightened Centrists (TM) and the thoroughly ensconced beltway "liberal media" - for saying something truthful about deplorables and how this lost her the election, nevermind Comey doing what he did to her, while saying nothing about donnie being under investigation....

I wonder what kind of bothsides the media will reach for to cover donnie doing this? Did Kamala "cackle"? Did Walz have some kind of dreamt-up "gaffe"?

Whatever his "closing arguments" are, according to polls, they seem to be working for some reason.

Meh, I'm not afraid of him. He won't win anyway. :)

Everyone—including yourself—knows that no one can possibly know whether he will win, so why say it? Do you have a time machine, or do you just spend your days & nights trolling on Lemmy?

Dude, what the fuck are you going on about? Of course it's a fucking prediction.

Did you somehow think that I feel I have the power of seeing the future?

You know how, during a football game someone places a bet and says, "Man, the Vikings are gonna win. I know it!" Do you honestly think that THEY honestly think they are seeing the future? That they have a supernatural power?!

The fuck, dude? What?! lololol

Now having said all that, and you've calmed your shit down, let me say it again: Trump's gonna lose by a landslide.

See how that works? Thanks, friend! :)

Right, so days & nights trolling then. Got it 👍

Nah brah, they're only spending a third as much time on this as a job. So there!

https://lemmy.world/comment/13003938

Can I get a quick rundown on UniversalMonk? What the hell did he do? Looking at his profile he does seem suspect, but aside from that, did he do something that really exposed him or something?

Wrong. I'm not trolling. Thank you! :)

"I'm not trolling because the mods leave my comments up. Please contact them. Thank you!"

Trump will win. Vote like it

He won't. And I've already voted. Thanks! :)

Didn't you say that you couldn't vote for who you wanted to vote for a while back? All while wringing your hands about Democrat censorship because your party couldn't be assed to properly register and fulfill the requirements for appearing on the ballot?

Pepperidge Farm Remembers.

So, if you couldn't vote for your third party candidate, who did you vote for?

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I've been keeping up somewhat with German news and what's happening in Europe doesn't really paint a great picture. Seems like we're basically in the same boat here in the US...

Meh, just a bunch of doomscrolling. Here's the thing. They release polls and stuff, but the people most likely not to vote for Trump don't really do polls.

Harris will win by a landslide. Trump will call it a fraud.

Lemmy will immediately send me comments like "Why are you still here, troll? You failed! Now go disappear" (Even tho I've always said Trump would lose.)

Trump will ask for recounts. Threaten to sue the planet Earth.

Lemmy will keep wondering why I'm still here. I'll post news about Trump and Third Parties talking about how much Harris sucks, and Lemmy will continue saying I'm a russian troll trying to to destroy the US and get Trumpers to take over the US.

And while all that drama is going on, everything will be fine. Harris will be sworn in.

And in 3 months people will go back to bitching about how rent is still too damn high.

And people here will still be bitching about why I'm still on Lemmy and ask me if Putin is mad at me and knocking on my Moscow apartment door. :)

So relax, friend. The world ain't gonna end. I promise.

Have you tried ... not peddling russian propaganda?

Might make people not label you as a russian troll.

Just a thought of course.

Thought he was paid for sure but he might actually be this stupid. Incredible

I just post news articles, friend. I don't write them. If you feel they are propaganda, be sure to write the news orgs that produce them. Thank you! :)

Poor baby. No one cares, and no one wants you here.

So relax, friend. The world ain’t gonna end. I promise.

Humanity might, though. or at least, society as we know it. But it's okay. you're helping the fascists, I'm sure they can find a place for you...

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