Holding grudges

Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com to ADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.com – 864 points –
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Seriously. I don't have the energy to keep track of that shit. If somebody was shitty to me they just get labeled as "not friend" and get treated like an acquaintance. Anything more requires me to care about them in some way, and I have shit to do.

If you're a work friend/acquaintance, yeah who gives a flying.

Now, the top ten "anime betrayal"s, those are the one's that hurt/stick with me.

Yeah it's easy to just drop people when they're not really a part of your life. Not so when you've been building a relationship for several years.

You mean you don’t hyper fixate on a few uncomfortable moments from your past and hold grudges based on those?

I barely remember my own life so I indeed don't hold grudges because I have no idea why I held them or if it was actually my fault that something happened.

I mean, i do that too, but it's always something i did rather than something others did to me.

When others are shitty to me, it usually doesn't stick with me for long, because although bad at the moment, it wasn't my fault, so i'm guilt free.

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„Here's the ten bucks you let me borrow, sorry it took so long, I hope you aren't angry at me“

I gave this person money?

hey free money, nice

You just reminded me of how some years ago I found my wallet that I totally forgot about behind my bed because it fell in there. The joy is real.

Finding old christmas cards you never took the money out of is the best

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The other day at work, a coworker was like "I owe you for lunch anyway" when we were putting in an order and I had no idea what he meant till he reminded me like 6 months ago i gave him an old NES that needed some work with the promise of a lunch at some point.

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It bothers me to an absurdely strong degree that random words are capitalized.

Not random. They are capitalizing words for emphasis, similarly to if they said it as big of me or hold grudges — using title case like that also makes it seem like it's a sort of monolithic idea worthy of a formal noun, like Always remember to Brush Your Teeth!

Even then...those are weird parts of the sentence to emphasize.

Compounded by the fact that's not how capitalization works. 🤦🏼‍♂️ Ya gotta learn the system before getting creative with it; blowing through a trumpet is not "jazz", it's just making fart noises through a tube.

As a decent writer with ADHD who is constantly receiving unbelievable smoke up my ass from my readers; It's not very Cash Money of you to judge what you're perhaps not understanding or worse, not considering.

Random titling of That which We Believe To Be Of Import, is—however triggering unto itself—just another of the ways we're out here coping with the "Mind Bees".

Consider the community you're in. Isn't it enough to be misunderstood and prejudged by those whose minds aren't divergent to the same degree?

Be the Change You Want To See.

This Whole Comment is actually pretty Cash Money.

The way I read it, being the bigger person and holding grudges are ideas that are so ingrained in society that they treated them like proper nouns for emphasis. Which seems appropriate for a meme-y delivery format like a tweet. Sort of like Patriot Caps, but less haphazard and more self-aware.

Yeah, it's weird but not as weird when you notice that only the keywords have the first letters capitalized.

I only hold one single grudge in my life. The one fucker in high-school who took the accountant role when my mother died of cancer, took the money my class raised for my family, and spent them on luxury stuff for himself.

...Please tell me something happened to him in legal terms.

Haha no... However they got hit by "divine justice" The same day they bought these, they got hit in the street by a motorcycle and ended up in the hospital.

I was featured in a story told by someone at a funeral regarding some disagreement/fight I and the deceased had.

Don't remember it at all, nothing about it even rang a bell.

Mine is a fun sort of specific. Years later, I'll remember that I hate a person's guts but will completely forget why I hate them. But that visceral hate stays with me.

I recently had a conversation with my ex-fiancée of 15 years and she was apologizing for things I didn't even remember her doing. But I remember the bitterness from those things.

People will forget what you do, forget what you say, but they'll never forget how your make them feel.

(Butchered from Maya Angelou)

I guess I'm different. If you burn me enough to illicit disgust, I will remember that over all else and I only forgive if deserving. I've had to many people take advantage of me. I don't hold grudges, I identify if you are a positive or negative effect on my life and treat accordingly.

Most of the time when I'm replying to posts I'm doubting if what I'm typing is related at all to the post because I forgor what it's about as soon as I'm at the comment box and I just hope nobody notices when/if I'm typing pure bullshit.

My memory is such shit but I guess for stuff between me and my best friend I used to have it did help that I was never able to hold a grudge. I learned apologizing real quick and the last few arguments we had I apologized to her within a minute or two of starting the argument because I didn't want to lose her anymore (though we used to always come back to each other sooner or later anyways). Not the last one we had though, I miss her with every last piece of my heart 💔.

So much time.

Wait, bad memory is a sign of ADHD?

As someone with adhd let me also tell you one of my favorite internet quotes of all time:

Every pees too but if you’re peeing 60 times a day that’s when you see a doctor

I mean that's a lot of things and also can be normal. Don't tik tok yourself a diagnosis considering even different psychs will come up with different conclusions. I'm dealing with that now trying to get a diagnosis one says def adhd the other thinks bipolar... another depression. They just pick something. There's like no science behind psychology I swear.

So weird to see a liberal content creator use that weird selective title case that became submissions with conservative posters. (You know, capitalizing the first letter of some words)

Edit: to clarify, I'm not trying to create drama or accuse anyone of anything. I'm just curious because I always associated this style of capitalization with certain discourse (or with German language)

It's usually to Brand™ a concept. Democrat Witch Hunt™ The Deep State™ Do Nothing Democrats™

It's one thing about Trump that I could say "he knows what he's doing." He's all about marketing, he knows how to create brands, he just doesn't know what to do with them after he creates them lol

This is a conservative thing? I always thought it was a cutesy thing, like from Winnie the Pooh.

It makes blocks of text easier to read for folks with ADHD.

Does it? I do not have ADHD AFAIK, but to me it looks a lot less readable, because I at first read it like the sentence ended somewhere around "Big of Me" (because new sentences generally begin with a capital letter), and because it is unclear what they are trying to convey when they capitalize those words: Is it a title? A trademark? Something else?

Meanwhile there are people that I have literally had a grudge against for decades. All they have to do to get themselves off the shitlist is to not be cunts to everyone around them. That's literally it. Except Connie. I want an apology for what you did.

That's why you need to read Building A Second Brain by Tiago Forte. Then you can just have you Little Black Book in the cloud so you never forget.

A lot of posts here are just basic human quirks but this one explains a lot and actually makes sense

ADHD doesn't make us aliens. It makes a lot of those human quirks more frequent and worse in scale compared to what neurotypical people experience. I'm tired of neurotypicals that are trying to invalidate our struggles because "everyone's like that, you're just overreacting".

I tend not to hold grudges because I don't see the point of holding anger. If someone wrongs me I might increase the distance between us socially or not trust them with certain things if I feel it would be unwise to continue. Sometimes there needs to be some kind of reconciliation for things to be close again. I've definitely stopped being friends with people for reasons that were unlikely to change or where it wasn't worth continuing, but it's very hard for me to stay mad at them or wish them ill. Even the people who've done awful things to me or who are now contemptible in many respects, I just kind of hope they do better in the future, far away from me.

I've never considered this to have anything to do with my adhd, but maybe? It would definitely be something more complicated than just forgetting though.