Bartender Qualifications

JPDev@programming.dev to Programmer Humor@programming.dev – 996 points –
63

SPOILER ALERT: Bartender is a software application used to read large number of barcodes, QR codes, RFID, etc. at high speed.

While that may be true, this is still likely an automated response built by a script that found some keywords on your profile. I still get the occasional proposition for RPG work, and I haven't touched an AS/400 in over a 20 years which my profile reflects. I haven't even touched my profile in years. But the script doesn't care about that. That's for the HR rep to filter out later if you respond.

Why you are no doubt correct; as someone who's had to support a BarTender based automated print system in a manufacturing company, this skillet need doesn't surprise me at all and is part of why the software gave me a drinking problem.

So you’re saying it would help to have both a bartender, and a bartender specialist on the team. Seems like we might be doing the bot a disservice here

Another example of corporate cost cutting, making the employees serve their own drinks.

I'm still getting weekly emails (and who knows how many linked in messages) trying to recruit me over a profile I haven't updated in a decade...aka 2 years after I entered the industry

One of these days, I'm going to set up my AI assistant to respond. Who knows, with an even playing field maybe some of them will be worthwhile

For North Italia, a pizzeria?

Also, I looked it up and the software has a capitalized T.

Southern Italy is better at pizza. Florence is about the best

Southern Italy is better at pizza, we all agree atelier all that's where pizza comes from. Florence is not in the south however, you might have had a good pizza, you can eat very good pizza everywhere in Italy. That said general consensus is Naples is where you want to go for the good good shit.

You're correct. I was confusing the two cities

Hey, don't you come round here messing up a funny misunderstanding with FACTS.

Shit I want that, my work breaks if I scan two items in one second

people with art degrees are horrified.

stay in your lane, software people!

I thought art majors are designate taxi drivers.

They're the baristas. Because at least they can make latte art while they scrounge for tips from the tip jar.

SELECT * FROM Customers WHERE glass='empty';

You forgot to order by perceived_wealth and attractiveness desc

glass_content === 0

Invalid type assertion to “Number.” Expects one of “Customer” Traits: CUSTOMER_IS_WASTED, CUSTOMER_NEEDS_MORE_BOOZE, CUSTOMER_IS_BIG_TIPPER, CUSTOMER_IS_STARTING_A_FIGHT, CUSTOMER_IS_KEANU_REEVES

As a front end developer this makes me want to drink.

As a backend devleoper, it makes me want to blame a frontend developer for how much I drink.

We both know it's the project manager that drives us to the bottle.

Imiss my last manager, he bought the bottle.

I'm seeing at least 4 people that need to get full stack drunk together.

I'm not a developer of any ends, but I would love to join you lot in getting drunk, I have some experience with computers and understand very basic terms, so there won't be any issues here

I'm a scrum master. Drinking now. A lot

Wait... they want someone skilled in HTML/CSS, Javascript and SQL?!?

I hope to fuck they're using a node backend otherwise... the client scripts running in the browser are assembling SQL?

SELECT * FROM drinks WHERE alccontent > 0.15 AND type = "wine" AND vintageyear < 2010 LIMIT 1;
DROP TABLE drinks;

They want you to train their latest AI bartender

The SQL knowledge might be for analytical (OLAP) rather than transactional queries in which case it'd be entirely separate to the website work. Maybe the design of the site would change based on how people are currently using it, and they want someone that can look at rhe data? I'm unsure.

I might be missing the joke, but Bartender is actually a real program for managing barcode readers!

All of those qualifications require that you can handle a cascade of requests and manage tables

Are they based out of the PNW? Now that I think about it, I may actually have interviewed with them at one point.

ETA: Yeah, pretty sure it was them, they're PT and have a 425 DID for sales, and the company name is wholly unrelated to the product. Had forgotten about them entirely, and would have had the same reaction as OP to getting that email now.

And it probably is the sw product the email was referencing, since Bartender is capitalized.

Bartender for a bar with a bunch of these.

Though Python, C, or C++ prob fits better.

Do you feel comfortable implementing pub-sub in our product?

You could say the bar for a tech job is high..

Two software developers walk into a bar...

my first guess is that they desperately search someone to take care for their websites progress bar

[======*____________]

Wich is part of the "Tender" template they use: https://w3layouts.com/tender-a-multipurpose-flat-bootstrap-responsive-web-template/ "Tender is a free HTML5 Multipurpose Template, with [...]"

and maybe they only have a dumb trainee or one of those super intelligent AIs to search for the specialists they urgently need (or both in combination)

that should explain it ;-)

who knows *gg

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