So... I'm being judge because the instance I choose?

dez@lemmy.ml to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 59 points –

When I signed up for Lemmy, I didn't know about some wars that existed between instances, and when I chose lemmy.ml I thought, “Why not?”. Tbh, dont think too much about instances.

I signed up because I wanted to get the full Lemmy experience, but I don't know if some instances block the instance I'm connected , and this is a bit confusing for me. At the beginning, when I joined Lemmy, I remember reading that it is advisable to choose the instance carefully, and I even assume that it was my mistake, but I think it could be a little easier for those who enter the fediverse. I guess. Know nothing at this time.

So, the question is there. Do you judge members by instance? I'm just a normal guy; I don't like the extreme right or extreme communism. In fact, I think all extremism is stupid. But , if you could enlighten me on this, I would appreciate it.

At this point, I don't know if I'm blocked by some instances or not. Basically, I want to enjoy having the entire Lemmy experience, where I could read all types of content.

EDIT: during this time, maybe some people judge members because the instance. And I dont like that feel if someone think "oh look this dude, is from lemmy.ml, he is extremist communist, for sure". However, I'm not. Im just a normal guy without any politic side.

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I have never once looked at a user's instance.

There probably are some people who do, just like how there are people who will judge you based on what brand of pants you wear, but most people are just glad that you're wearing pants.

I did before .world degenerated from .LemmyGrad. Other than that, it's not something I care about

I mean, after basically every second comment I saw from hexbear was tankie nonsense I definitely started judging them differently. They're extremists who seem to want to turn everything into a debate. So I made sure to block them. Most instances are fine though, and are indeed not that different than the brand of pants someone wears: not something I really care about.

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If you're on lemmygrad or hexbear I will immediately dismiss pretty much anything you say and assume you aren't worth interacting with. Otherwise I don't put a lot of stock into what instance a user belongs to. Sometimes your instance can indicate that you have certain interests (technology based instances, startrek.website) or how you identify (blahaj.zone, pawb.social, etc).

I have a lot of issues with the admins of lemmy.ml, but I don't think the users are inherently problematic. The server itself is advertised as being for privacy and FOSS enthusiasts, so I think a lot of people join without realizing the admins enforce their explicitly communist viewpoints that sometimes border on being pretty tanky.

Yep. If I see someone from hexbear, anything they're saying I immediately ignore. Lemmy.ml is full of assholes, but they don't advertise it that way so a lot of decent people are on there too. You can't really judge an individual just because they're on lemmy.ml imo.

People, myself included, aren't fond of lemmy.ml because it pretends to be a privacy-centric instance but it's actually run by people who defend any and every criticism of Russia and China under the guise of critiquing capitalism.

They commonly say that any bad news about China or Russia is western propaganda while everything from their state-run "news" platforms is gospel.

They're unable to say that two things are true at once, like capitalism is a pure shit system AND China and Russia are fucked for a million reasons specific to them.

People get banned from their server for saying that China is anything but a utopian dream.

And then, yes, people unfairly assume that you must be cool with all that because you're using their instance. If you're not married to the idea of staying there, I'd suggest deleting your account and using a different instance.

When I first found about Lemmy I landed on join-lemmy.org, which told me lemmy.ml is big instance ran by the Lemmy developers, so it sounded like the most "default" option.

Now this thread tells me it has some political affiliation and many people judge/block it... How is someone who only found out about Lemmy supposed to know this.

Last week I made a comment on some post on the /all page. The post was about china and my comment was fairly china positive, imo. A couple hours later I opened my phone again and my inbox was flooded with weird responses as if I had insulted someone's mother. Turned out it was a post on lemmy.ml. I have the instance blocked now.

I don't judge users for their instance. I'll judge mods and admins for what they promote and allow, but not users. Unless they're tankies from lemmygrad.

The only instance that I'll usually immediately give a side-eye to is Hexbear, and only them because a significant percentage of those folks have a certain.... style and culture that gets on my nerves. But an individual can still be a cool person and it's not like I'm about to come in the comments and dunk on you or preemptively block you based on your home instance. I block users because they're assholes, or annoying, or argue in bad faith, not based on where their account is hosted. And I would expect that's probably consistent across most lemmings. You won't get a bad rap only for being affiliated with ml. Now if you say something stupid somebody might use it as a bludgeon to talk bad about ml as a whole, or vice versa, but that's going to happen any time you have something approaching "team sports" like this.

In general, don't stress this too much. In specific, keep up with what's happening on your home instance and if they're doing something you don't like, pack up and move elsewhere. That's a core function of the way the fediverse is constructed. If it sucks, hit the bricks. You can just leave, and set up shop in another instance, or host your own, and you aren't beholden to anyone. But if you don't care then you don't have to.

In specific, keep up with what's happening on your home instance and if they're doing something you don't like, pack up and move elsewhere. That's a core function of the way the fediverse is constructed. If it sucks, hit the bricks. You can just leave, and set up shop in another instance, or host your own, and you aren't beholden to anyone.

It's kind of unfortunate that lemmy doesn't have functionality to facilitate account portability today, providing a way to associate accounts from the view of other users and to migrate settings and the like.

I agree. I hope that makes it into the feature list for the future. It seems like an obvious next step to make that part easier and less painful for users.

a certain… style and culture

"Oh, you don't love Stalin? Have you considered pee pee poo poo?" -Hexbear, unironically. and when challenged, they double down and act like its some form of moral intellectual superiority

Short answer: yes
Long answer: some of us even have entire instances blocked

I don't judge users like that unless they're from some actually nasty instance. Lemmy.ml is somewhat politically aligned like you said, but it's still generally a "normal" option, with lots of "normal" users.

You can create more accounts elsewhere to see if your experience changes, but I think ml should be okay.

Edit: And I don't think carefully choosing an instance is that important. You can always go elsewhere. Just read the rules and if they seem ok, go for it.

I like the experience im having here on lemmy... I dont discuss politic neither politic views. Tbh, dont care about it. I just want to be the full experience of Lemmy, where i can see all communities and dont get blocked , since I choose lemmy.ml because when I did a sign up, Im pretty noob about fediverse.

I dont discuss politic neither politic views. Tbh, dont care about it.

You and me both.

I don't know know if there's a good tool to list all instances that defederated yours. I often use lemmyverse.net to find new communities instead of relying on built in search. So if something doesn't open, I'd at least know something blocks or is blocked by my instance. Though that hasn't happened yet, probably because this instance is not toxic and also so small that no one even knows about it.

I don't judge people based on their instance. Although, there are a few instances I have just straight up blocked because their users just cause way too many problems.

That said? If someone is being a jerk, I will look at their instance and quite often have a "yeah, that checks out". I don't really have any issues with lemmy.ml but I have definitely noticed a "type" of user. Not bad enough to block the instance but enough that it often counts as two strikes as far as I am concerned. Be a jerk and I see you are from lemmy.ml? Good odds I just block you then and there rather than checking your comment history to see if this is a recurring theme or not.

Which ones did you block? I blocked lemmygrad and hexbear. Helped my blood pressure a lot I think.

Same. I got brigaded in my first 24 hours because I corrected someone on a RUS/UKR disinfo comment they made. Nearly made me leave. I've blocked both instances in my client but I still occasionally see them pop up for some reason regardless of the alt account I'm on.

In your settings you can export a file containing all the communities you have subscribed to. Import that file in the settings of your new account on a new instance and then carry on :)

All else held equal, I'd guess that someone on a .ml instance -- which is chosen to refer to "Marxism-Leninism" --is more likely to be far left, just as someone on pawb.social is a furry, lemmy.blahaj.zone to be trans, or aussie.zone to be Australian. Does that mean that everyone on all of those instances are any of those? No, of course not.

And lemmy.ml was the second-largest instance during the outflow from Reddit, so a lot of people just grabbed it.

Personally, in choosing an instance, it probably wouldn't be the one I'd choose. I also wouldn't pick it because it's gonna be where the latest release gets put into production first and you're liable to crash into any issues -- lemmy.world admins, for example, are far more conservative, did minimal patching to fix critical bugs rather than jumping right on 0.19, and their userbase avoided crashing into the broken 0.19 releases. On the other hand, if you've established an identity on lemmy.ml and are otherwise happy with it...shrugs

Some instances, like hexbear.net or lemmygrad.ml, are far-out-there enough that some instances might defederate with the instance, which I think is probably a bigger concern. I don't think that that's nearly as much a risk with lemmy.ml.

.ml is the country code for mali and is often used bc it's very cheap

Yeah, I know, but the reason that the lemmy.ml and lemmygrad.ml crowd is using it isn't because of association with Mali.

On one side you're expected to register to an instance that suits you; like, anime fans in ani.social, people interested in LGBT+ topics in blahaj.zone, so goes on. And there's that common knowledge that, if you feel out-of-place in an instance, you can register to another.

On another, people know that plenty other people don't know (or don't care) about instances. And sometimes you get really clueless posters, specially recent redditfugees.

So yes, you'll be judged by some people. Not by everyone. (Personally I use the user's instance as a heuristic factor on the type of user that I'm dealing with. But on its own it's simply too little info to conclude anything.)

Now, regarding specifically lemmy.ml: I was part of that instance for a few years, so be aware that you might run into problems later on because the admin team there is prone to enforce hidden rules. Still, I don't expect you to be judged based on any "strong" stereotype regarding that instance, as it used to be the flagship instance, so you got plenty "random" users there.

Yes and no. I don't judge immediately, but if someone says something sus, and their instance matches the sus vibe, then I judge.

If you’re concerned you should set up accounts on other instances. It’s easy.

And which instance I choose to get the full experience of Lemmy and see all communities?

None, that's the point. Your experience and what you see depend upon you and your choices. There's no true Lemmy experience. The freedom and flexibility is the core of federation. You choose what your experience is, not a central arbitrary algorithm written by a for profit megacorp.

A kbin or mbin instance might have the most amount of federation/least restrictive if that's what you're concerned with. It's not lemmy based, but it's similar.

Kbin.social definitely blocks a lot of nsfw content, but I also see a lot of nsfw communities not being federated on mbin either. At least from lemmynsfw, I'm not too deep into this to know any other with that type of content but that one at least pops up semi-frequently. Might be also possible that kbin / mbin manually lowers the 18+ content in their algorithm so it doesn't show up as much. Kinda feels like a lot of the 18+ content from let's say the Ukraine war also doesn't show up as much on my feed. If I for comparison sake look into my Lemmy based account on mobile then I see a lot of boobies on the general feed.

K/Mbin hides NSFW posts by default and I haven't try turning it off so I wouldn't know how it looks without it enabled.

You’ll have to decide on your own. Pick a couple of instances that interest you, then check the list of instances they are federated/defederated with. If you really want to see everything, then pick one that hasn’t defederated with a lot of other instances.

I personally like lemm.ee because the admin is cool and they don’t haphazardly defederate at the slightest inconvenience.

I use lemmy.today. The admin there has explicitly stated in the server rules that they want to try to avoid defederation with other instances -- that is, have the users make the decisions as to what they see, not the instance admin. They're US West Coast, and I think l'd take instance location into account when picking a home instance too, since it affects snappiness.

You can look at the server rules for lemmy instances in the sidebar in the Web UI. You can also see which instances they've defederated with, and that can also give you an idea.

Currently, lemmy.today has no defederated instances:

https://lemmy.today/instances

Keep in mind that there's a lot of stuff out there on the Threadiverse, including far-left and far-right instances. You've got instances that have porn communities, like lemmynsfw.com. burggit.moe has lolicon and consentual-nonconsentual content. Some people may want defederation with some instances to ensure that a new community on such an instance doesn't show up in their All feed or that a new instance that hosts content of some sort generally gets blocked for them -- depends on how much you want someone else to censor for you.

lemmy.world is pretty big, I have my account there

When I joined Lemmy it felt so nice. It felt like the early Internet; all the bullshit I got used to on Reddit, it wasn't here. It was like feeling at home.

Nowadays, whenever I see toxic bullshit and sedition disguised as leftism, it's someone from lemmy.ml; my Lemmy-experience got a lot better after blocking the lemmy.ml-instance. But I will start blocking more aggressively and I hope things get better after the US-elections.

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I signed up for the first one I saw, and subscribed across instances without ever considering that people might care where you came from.

People are going to judge. I try to not to be like people.

Lemmy.ml is basically Lemmygrad trying to look more neutral, but actually is the same thing. That's why I block all lemmy.ml communities that I come across. As for users I might not inherently judge them, but I do keep a close eye on them in regards to potential political statements being made, because of how many of them I've seen making bad faith arguments, or straight up spread disinformation and other bullshit.

I don't block lemmy.ml communities, but if there are competing general-use communities (say, I dunno, gardening), and one is on lemmy.ml and one is somewhere else more-neutral, like lemmy.world, I'll join the lemmy.world community.

if you're in one of the "far-left" instances or unmoderated instances that are sources of spam, you're probably gonna get judged, otherwise no. i didn't know lemmy.ml had this reputation and made my account here as well but i don't really mind since i don't have that many issues with moderation here.

"a normal guy without any politic side" is a very political position and i suggest you find an instance that agrees with that position since a very important filter on what you can or can not see is the admins of the instance you are using. i doubt you are missing much on lemmy.ml but you can always try other instances and see which communities they have there that isn't present on lemmy.ml.

as a side note lemmy is, disappointingly, just another digital social media platform but federated. you're still gonna see people fight, throw their opinions at each other and in general talk about politics. a large segment of people on lemmy are either reddit refugees or people that were rejected from other social media. yes on average people here tend to be older and more educated compared to general population that use the internet, but most people here are outside the "norm".

I've had people guess that I'm probably Canadian since I use lemmy.ca, but for me, generally, I don't judge people by their instance since I don't default to looking for it and my default apps don't display it, but when I've gotten into frustrating circular arguments with people I have often noticed that they're from lemmy.ml.

Personally I think this is why Bluesky's ATProtocol design of not tying identity to instance is a good thing, but since that's not opened up yet that's a little neither here nor there.

Personally I do not assume anything about a user’s instance (or look at it at all usually). But I do pay attention to the instance a community belongs to, because some instances have significant numbers of hostile people that belong to them (Lemmy.ml is a prominent example). Personally I would not want to belong to that instance because it would put me into more contact with those people.

I think there are some instances that are more averse to defederation, and based on what you’ve said, those might be a better home for you.

I spend an hour or so on Lemmy a day and other than the bad bad ones (the ones named to attract predators etc) I have no clue what all the instances are. I see lemmy.ml and assume it's just a lesser used main instance.

So, no judgement from me.

That was my assumption too. My main account was on lemmy.ml and it was almost three months before I found out the ".ml" part apparently stood for "Marxist-Leninist". This came as a surprise, as I hadn't seen anything in the server espousing that, and Lemmygrad and Hexbear were seemed to attract the lion's share of Leftists.

It's also just a cheap domain name. The admins are Communists, but .ml is not an explicit leftist server, just a FOSS and privacy focused server.

The main (to my knowledge) Anarchist community is hosted on .ml.

I like .ml because it's always updated, and on the bleeding edge, plus I like FOSS and Privacy. I'm also a leftist, but not an ML, so it fits me better than lemmygrad or hexbear.

Generally no, it doesn't make a difference to me. However if you say something which I think is extremely stupid I might dismiss you based on the instance assuming it's one of the usual suspects; lemmy.ml, hexbear, lemmygrad etc.

Welcome to the fediverse, where you are morally complicit in the crimes of your admins!

But yeah, personally I think the way instances and defederation are handled in Mastodon/Lemmy is one of the big problems with it at the moment. Depending on what instance you are on, you'll get "locked out" of certain communities and from certain people, and there's generally very little accountability and transparency about it.

For example, lemmy.ml blocks one of the two furry instances, so you'll have less comments from furries. It's also apparently becoming more hardcore tankie, so other instances may start blocking it themselves.

I like to think that I'm above all that and don't discriminate based on instance, but there's one instance out there that has done heinous things and I'm not sure I could remain impartial towards people who stay on it...

Yeah I made this account first before hopping to one more suited for me. Didnt turn out well there but generall if you're pretty new i imagine most people arent too attached to their instance

For the most part I judge communities based on their instance, not the people. I might be more inclined to block you if you can something sketchy but probably not. But if a server get super toxic/tankie, I may block the whole server. lemmy.ml isn't there yet.

Fuk em.

Edit: if people are judging you based off what server you are in, unless it is an openly hostile instance, their opinions are most likely not very valid.

what we forget is that on the internet, none of the opinions around here are relevant to our lives. (but still are valid). the only opinions we need worry about are with the people we form bonds with and create a community. and i guess on a small enough site like this one, you can do that by getting to know people, recognizing others usernames, learning about them as people.

why is everyone judging me for the people I choose to associate with?

lemmy.ml is not just far left, it´s full of fucking tankies. Because of that you might be considered a tankie when using an .ml account. I recommend making an account on a more neutral instance.