Hustle tip

no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 535 points –
64

I've never regretted doing that personally

It's that weird emotion you feel on your first full pack of saltines, not the 54th one

Same. At least, not until years later when I realized how bad my eating habits have gotten

They're weirdly good with just a little sip of mountain dew at the same time. Just a little bit though, like barely enough to soak in to the cracker.

I’ve never.

Regretted it, I mean.

I mean damn, when my mom was pregnant with my sister, these were what she craved. My sister turned it ok...

I'm gonna put butter on them and you can't stop me. Damn, I wish I had a sleeve of saltines.

My mom lived off eating only that for decades, lol.

Your mom cut her budget to feed you better and got used to it and/or never financially recovered

Nah, she's always had messed up taste buds, my grandmother suspected it was because of some illness she had as an infant. But for as long as I could remember she would only eat (plain) potato products and peanut butter saltines.

I feel like this is trying to hide the fact that it's explicitly talking about the packaging sleeve and not the actual crackers.

I like em with peanut butter or sardines!

I used to go through these like clockwork. Now I have gout at age 32 😢

I dunno though - I think eating the Saltines themselves would be tastier than eating the sleeves, if only marginally.

As a non American I only know how to hide them.

Are they just salted biscuits?

I'm not an American either but yes, saltines are salty biscuits.

Now just wait a damn minute here, is everything just called a biscuit outside of the US? Cookies are biscuits and now crackers are also biscuits? How do y'all distinguish things‽ "I'd like a biscuit" must be this dangerous game of roulette where you might get a delicious chocolate chip cookie or you might get a dry ass saltines or little teeny oyster crackers or God knows what else.

Y'all need new words for shit

What I need to know is what do they call biscuits?

Scones.

Not because scones are the same thing but because they don't know what American biscuits are and they think they look like scones.

If you think biscuit is bad... you should try pan.

I've tried explaining the various English denominations of various bread items to Spanish speaking people and it's just not easy. Roll, bun, loaf, baguette, brioche, pita, ciabatta, soda bread, brown bread, rye... it's all just pan.

That's just sad. I need my million words for breads because I enjoy having different breads! How will I properly tell the baker what I want??

This is what annoys me about this argument.

Im making a soup and want to thicken it "do we have any bread?" Damn near any bread (even tortillas, which are by definition bread) will do the job. If I want to make a sandwich then the difference is important.

Sometimes its important sometimes it isnt but fuck me if Americans seem to think that we dont know what a cookie or a cracker is, like I'm utterly incapable of using a more direct descriptor to get what I want.

Crackers are biscuits, and so are biscuits. Cookies are cookies. Unless you're a Brit, then everything seems to be a biscuit or a cake. Some biscuits seem to be cakes, and some cookies also seem to be cakes. Most cakes are cakes.

This said I'm not British and I'm talking out of my shitpost.

If there's a question about whether it's a biscuit or a cake, leave it out for a few days, if it gets softer it's a biscuit, if it gets harder it's a cake, and if it gets covered in 'gravy' there's an American in your house.

Jaffa cakes are cakes then

Indeed they are, as adjudicated by the courts of the land. I like the reporting here, especially:

Customs and Excise had accepted since the start of VAT that Jaffa Cakes were zero-rated as cakes, but always had misgivings about whether this was correct.

Brit here most things are biscuits except some that are cookies e.g. chocolate chip cookies, crackers are crackers.

I hope that clears things up

I'm just trying to confuse the Americans. You blew my cover!

I thought y'all didn't have cookies? Like, I thought everything we called cookie you call biscuit?

Also, have you ever had an American style biscuit?

Tbh I don't know why we call some things cookies. I have heard people say cookies have the softer ce ter buy that doesnt track 100% from brand to brand.

On American biscuits nope I didn't know they were a thing rill a long time friend from the states who likes playing with these language quirks as much as I do

If you ever visit (probably don't, it's a hellhole) try biscuits and gravy. Preferably from someone's southern grandma or a gas station in rural Georgia. But if all else fails, Hardee's is acceptable for someone without something to compare it to.

No. American is not correct by default.

Crackers are biscuits, cookies are also biscuits. A Toyota Camry is a car, a Dodge neon is also a car, its not that hard. If specificity is important you specify.

Crumble them up in a glass of milk. You won't regret it.

The only downside is then my wife will think you're weird, too.