Trump posts fan fiction about Biden stealing nomination back from Harris

Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml to Not The Onion@lemmy.world – 389 points –
Trump Posts Fan Fiction About Biden Stealing Nomination Back From Harris
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That last one needs to be updated

Not to mention not testifying has nothing to do with innocence. That's not how our justice system works.

Although true, for Trump, testifying would only lead to him further incriminating himself, so I feel context is important when making such distinctions.

Yeah that first one isn’t right. He won the 2016 election but still claimed it was rigged, and that he should have gotten more votes.

He's like an elementary schooler, the difference is instead of bragging about having a PlayStation 7 at home he's trying to overthrow democracy... :/

In a rant rife with misspellings and baseless conspiracy, Trump wrote, “What are the chances that Crooked Joe Biden, the WORST President in the history of the U.S., whose Presidency was Unconstitutionally STOLEN from him by Kamabla, Barrack HUSSEIN Obama, Crazy Nancy Pelosi, Shifty Adam Schiff, Cryin’ Chuck Schumer, and others on the Lunatic Left, CRASHES the Democrat National Convention and tries to take back the Nomination.”

The ex-president continued, “He feels that he made a historically tragic mistake by handing over the U.S. Presidency, a COUP, to the people in the World he most hates, and he wants it back, NOW!!!”

That is some batshit insane ranting. Like really really crazy, and in a weird way.

  1. He HATES that he lost to Biden and so desperately wanted to beat him second time round and now he'll always have lost to Biden and never won, so he's really struggling to accept that reality and desperately wants to go back to beating Biden in the polls.
  2. This is absolutely how he would behave if he were in Biden's position right now so he thinks this is plausible and people might believe it.
  3. He wouldn't recognise altruism if it turned up in his house with free burgers every lunchtime singing "Altruism is doing something nice for someone else with nothing in return, nothing in return, nothing in return. Altruism is doing something nice for someone else with nothing in return, nothing in return, nothing in return." He would like it, and he would tweet about how the hamberder people were good people, great people who know how great trump is, but he wouldn't understand and wouldn't learn anything because it's so alien to his way of thinking. Of course he finds it incomprehensible that Biden might not be seething with rage right now.
  1. His thinking is completely inflexible. He's quite simply unable to adapt to his new opponents. He's spent so long practising insulting biden in the mirror and now he can't use his repertoire.

It's a bitter irony that all the playground bully insults that the MAGA's have hurled at Biden for the past 4+ years became completely useless in a matter of seconds.

"Sleepy Joe", "Let's go Brandon", etc. are now totally meaningless.

He keeps trotting out the same old schtick though. Just yesterday / today at his mara lago presser, more Biden stuff.

Ignoring the obvious things here; how would Biden re-entering nominations count as "stealing back the nomination". I thought Kamala supposedly stole it from him? Did both of them steal it from Trump?

You're trying to make sense of something that doesn't make sense

Can't use sound logic to get someone out of a position they didn't use sound logic to get themselves into.

Everyone knows it was rigged, and Donald Trump actually won the Democratic nomination

I think it's just a matter of word choice. If your neighbor breaks into your shed and takes your bike, and puts it in their shed, they've stolen it. If you break into their shed, take it back, and put it back in your shed, then you might say you "stole it back" even though it's yours.

True, but if you give your younger friend your bike, saying "Here, have my bike, you'll do better with it than I will now", and then publicly praise your friend for how great a bike rider they are, but some weird crazed racist lunatic who hasn't been able to finish a coherent sentence for years and years rants about how you made the biggest mistake of your life and fantasies about you beating up your young friend for taking your bike, no one has stolen anything.

I wonder how the plutocrats and the christofascists will try to carry out their plan of destroying US democracy and imposing autocracy after the stinky old weirdo they've pinned all their hopes on has a screeching public meltdown.

Serious answer? Just wait 4 years. Rename it to Project 2029 or 2033 or 2037, as often as needed. That's the really exhausting part. Now that they have this plan, we have to defeat it every time. The figurehead is not as important as the plan. They'll be another candidate willing to become a dictator, I'm sure.

Yep. These days the alternatives are "yes" and "ask again later", with yes being the default. "No" is not an option any more.

Ehhh, they have a window right now that they don't have if they keep losing elections. With less Rs in Congress and the supreme Court, that window closes forever. Churches all over the country are losing support, and members, just like the Republican party. True they've been planning this for decades but if it doesn't happen this cycle or next, it's over for them.

Also, Trump and his cult is a truly unique phenomenon that won't be easily reproducable. Just look at how desperately Ted Cruz tries to be the next Trump and fails spectacularly.

That's a good point. Ronda tries hard as well. Insecurities and all.

That’s what he’s doing right now. They’ll just do what they always do, and they will repeat it as much as possible until he says something else equally profane and absurd.

In the dimly lit hotel room, Donald Trump and Joe Biden sat across from each other, their eyes locked in a steely gaze. The 2020 Democratic primaries had long been decided, but the two men couldn't shake the feeling that they were meant for something more.

Donald adjusted his tie, his fingers drumming impatiently on the table. Joe leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving Donald's face, his lips curling into a sly smile.

"You know, Don," Joe began, his voice low and husky, "I've always thought that our paths were destined to cross."

Donald's gaze flicked up, meeting Joe's piercing blue eyes. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt a familiar thrill of excitement.

"Yes, Joe," Donald replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've felt it too. But what are we going to do about it?"

Joe leaned forward, his eyes burning with intensity. "We're going to steal the nomination from Kamala Harris and claim our rightful place as co-presidents."

Donald's eyes widened in shock before breaking into a wide grin. "You're crazy, Joe," he said, but there was an unmistakable hint of excitement in his voice.

The two men spent hours plotting their move, strategizing every detail with the precision of seasoned conspirators. They knew that it wouldn't be easy - Kamala Harris had her supporters and would fight tooth and nail to keep her grip on the nomination - but they were willing to do whatever it took to realize their true love.

As the night wore on, the tension between them grew thicker, until finally Donald reached across the table and placed his hand over Joe's. "I know what we need," he whispered urgently.

Joe looked down at Donald's hand, then back up into his eyes. A spark of electricity seemed to jump between them as they leaned in close, their lips meeting in a searing kiss.

Their passion ignited like a wildfire, consuming them both as they tore off each other's clothes and fell onto the bed. Their bodies entwined, their breaths mingling as they gave themselves over to their forbidden love.

In that moment, nothing mattered except their desire for one another. The Democratic nomination, the presidency, all of it was secondary to the burning need they felt in their hearts.

As the sun rose over Washington D.C., Donald and Joe lay entangled on the bed, exhausted but satisfied. They knew that their love would face challenges - the world wasn't ready for two men to rule together as co-presidents - but they were willing to fight for their right to be together.

And so, with a newfound sense of purpose, the two men set out to make history. Their names would go down in infamy, not just as political figures, but as the embodiment of a love that dared to defy convention and change the world forever.

Republicons are upset that people are calling them weird, and then continue to do the weirdest fucking shit.

Eh, at least beats the Trump mpreg.

Is this new work of art in AO3 yet?