I've been saving an old toaster to try in the tub just for an occasion like this!
You could make so much money playing Russian roulette!
Now I'm starting to wonder if being in a coma for twenty years from a toaster/gun shot would still qualify as alive.
Dammit
The 1950s sci-fi pulp author Fredric Brown wrote one of his (then) famous short-short stories about a man who came up with the serum for immortality and took it, but he had a cold at the time, and the germs also developed immortality and reproduced so much that his symptoms got worse and worse and eventually put him into a coma. After a while, his colleagues realized he'd never get out of the coma, so they just buried him.
That's horrible. Thank you
And this is why we have GFCIs, folks
Because there's immortals walking among us?
No, mine had a different date. Must just be a bug.
What is this "wrapped" thing everybody but me knows about?
Spotify gives you an overview of your listening activity every year with different stats, like top artists, top songs, which city your listening tastes match, etc.
And Spotify tells people when they're going to die?
Yes but it is occasionally off by a second or two, what with free will and all.
November 4, 2097...I'm gonna have a long life, it seems!
dang, Feb 23rd 2067 for me
It just says 5 for me
4.. 3.. 2.. 1
Shit, that's my 82nd birthday. Make sure to send a gift on the 22nd that year.
Dunno, it sounds like 90's to me.
Awww man, I don't wanna do this shit for another 20 years just to die.
Can we make it sooner?
Be the change you want to see in the world!
Where's the nearest bridge?
EDIT: for reasons, this is a joke.
Hah, now there is nothing candlejack ca
I don't get it. Who's Candleja
My favorite thing about this bit is that, after he gets you, he takes the time to submit the comment you were trying to write. Candlejack is really courteous like th
Mine says "December 5th 2023"
Weird. Mine says "December 3rd 2023"
Mine says 1997. Just 1997.
Just doing a wellness check. Did you make it?
I don't think so...
RIP eezeebee, they were like a father to us and we were like sons to them.
Have a nice last day on earth, buddy.
Can we swap? I'd love to die tomorrow.
Well. Did you?
laughs in climate wars
Imagine knowing that you'll live this long from now. Would be great
20 years ain't as long as you think it is. Especially if you're not even 30
If someone could guarantee me that I would die 20 years from now I think I would take it. I would rather a guaranteed 20 years than a potential 40.
It would be great not having to worry about death for that long. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.
(I'm the bus driver)
I actually ran someone over yesterday.
An exact date is great too, I can plan everything out to a tee.
I still would rather be surprised.
This could be some real monkeys paw material, though. In your carefree lack of concern, a bus actually hits you tomorrow and puts you into a coma until your predicted date.
I sure hope I live past 66...
age LEAKED
I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to steal my identity based on knowing my approximate age, so I'm not too concerned.
That's what you think, P. Sherman at 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney, Australia!
Ima die on my birthday? Man that sucks
It makes the math easier though
You can't tell me when I die! Only I get to decide when I die!
Secret of immortality unlocked
Gross. I'd hate having to live an extra ~20 years.
From now until then you're invincible.
I've been saving an old toaster to try in the tub just for an occasion like this!
You could make so much money playing Russian roulette!
Now I'm starting to wonder if being in a coma for twenty years from a toaster/gun shot would still qualify as alive.
Dammit
The 1950s sci-fi pulp author Fredric Brown wrote one of his (then) famous short-short stories about a man who came up with the serum for immortality and took it, but he had a cold at the time, and the germs also developed immortality and reproduced so much that his symptoms got worse and worse and eventually put him into a coma. After a while, his colleagues realized he'd never get out of the coma, so they just buried him.
That's horrible. Thank you
And this is why we have GFCIs, folks
Because there's immortals walking among us?
No, mine had a different date. Must just be a bug.
What is this "wrapped" thing everybody but me knows about?
Spotify gives you an overview of your listening activity every year with different stats, like top artists, top songs, which city your listening tastes match, etc.
And Spotify tells people when they're going to die?
Yes but it is occasionally off by a second or two, what with free will and all.
That's the joke part.
Not gonna make it that long. Nice try.
November 4, 2097...I'm gonna have a long life, it seems!
dang, Feb 23rd 2067 for me
It just says 5 for me
4.. 3.. 2.. 1
Shit, that's my 82nd birthday. Make sure to send a gift on the 22nd that year.
Dunno, it sounds like 90's to me.
Awww man, I don't wanna do this shit for another 20 years just to die.
Can we make it sooner?
Be the change you want to see in the world!
Where's the nearest bridge?
EDIT: for reasons, this is a joke.
Hah, now there is nothing candlejack ca
I don't get it. Who's Candleja
My favorite thing about this bit is that, after he gets you, he takes the time to submit the comment you were trying to write. Candlejack is really courteous like th
Mine says "December 5th 2023"
Weird. Mine says "December 3rd 2023"
Mine says 1997. Just 1997.
Just doing a wellness check. Did you make it?
I don't think so... RIP eezeebee, they were like a father to us and we were like sons to them.
Have a nice last day on earth, buddy.
Can we swap? I'd love to die tomorrow.
Well. Did you?
laughs in climate wars
Imagine knowing that you'll live this long from now. Would be great
20 years ain't as long as you think it is. Especially if you're not even 30
If someone could guarantee me that I would die 20 years from now I think I would take it. I would rather a guaranteed 20 years than a potential 40.
It would be great not having to worry about death for that long. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.
(I'm the bus driver)
I actually ran someone over yesterday.
An exact date is great too, I can plan everything out to a tee.
I still would rather be surprised.
This could be some real monkeys paw material, though. In your carefree lack of concern, a bus actually hits you tomorrow and puts you into a coma until your predicted date.
I sure hope I live past 66...
age LEAKED
I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to steal my identity based on knowing my approximate age, so I'm not too concerned.
That's what you think, P. Sherman at 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney, Australia!
Ima die on my birthday? Man that sucks
It makes the math easier though
You can't tell me when I die! Only I get to decide when I die!
Secret of immortality unlocked
Gross. I'd hate having to live an extra ~20 years.
Too optimistic to be real.
that's so long from now though
YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHEN I'M GOING TO D............