I don't appreciate this picture of me

no banana @lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 473 points –
45

This is the same person who smugly replies with "Clearly you've never heard of [thing every person has fucking heard of]" or "Today you learned a very important lesson." on some common wisdom that every person over the age of ten possesses.

Clearly it's not. The keyboard only allows him to type "cringe" or "based."

This dude doesn't have the means to be pedantic.

Don't forget refresh only via F5, and a mouse with only a scroll wheel.

Tbh it's impressive he's telling me to touch grass with this setup.

Oh you think a particular business practice is shitty? You know companies aren't charities right?

Why does it matter who says it if the advice is good / bad?

It's me, I'm saying it. The jeans people should touch grass.

Ok.

Yes, I love touching jrass

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The only thing this guy is telling me is that I'm based or cringe, I don't think he can tell me to touch grass, unless I understand Morse Code

Based, based based based, cringe cringe based, based cringe based cringe, cringe cringe cringe cringe.

Based based cringe, cringe based cringe, cringe based, cringe cringe cringe, cringe cringe cringe.

As someone who just told someone to touch grass a little bit ago, I can confirm I mostly look like that but my hairline is more receded and my chest more sunken in.

I was actually just thinking today that when I get my new L desk at work and privacy screens, I'm gonna get a sun lamp and grow my own grass in a pot on my desk.

I work in IT and taken on a much more removed roll, so it makes sense because I get out even less now.

Oh man we just convinced our boss to let us move out of the basement to a beautiful office with huge windows that wasn’t being used.

I’m getting so many plants!

That's awesome! Do it up! I'm so looking forward to the extra space. I've considered being impatient and taking over the spare desk next to me lol people just keep using it for storage and it's making the big boss twitchy, so it would really be two birds one stone...

There's a pretty wild variety of decorative grasses that'd look kick-ass as an office plant.

I'd wanna try and keep it a native type though, I'm in an industrial setting and our environmental people would probably flip my desk if they caught wind of non-native plant introduction on site.. they're super dire all the time.

All "we need this data for our month end and it hasn't been populating for 3 weeks! The government regulator is going to fine us into oblivion blah blah blah". One time they flipped out because it had been something like 3 months of no data but they didn't tell us until a few days before the current month's due date. Really hard to take them seriously on their issue priorities. But they totally flip my desk for bringing fancy grass lol

That's a chudjak, since I'm not a chud this does not apply to me.

OK fine. I just went outside and poked at the grass for several minutes. Now what?

I get the impression though that being interminably online isn't as taboo as it once had been. In my home country, not many children play in the streets anymore. It is a taboo actually if you are not signed up to the latest social media platform.

Me when I post on an obscure video games message board 13 hours per day for 10 years and there are still people who don't know gaming is beneath me.