YSK there is a massive Google Doc of U.S. gynecologists that will tie your tubes without asking about your kids, marital status or age.

Flying Squid@lemmy.world to You Should Know@lemmy.world – 1126 points –
docs.google.com

Over half of women who have had abortions have had a previous child.

https://www.guttmacher.org/gpr/2007/05/repeat-abortion-repeat-unintended-pregnancy-repeated-and-misguided-government-policies

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I saved this info to a file on my computer in case the Google Sheet doc goes away. Don't be passive. Take some action, no matter how small.

I don't really need the sheet, but this comment compelled me to download it anyway

Nothing stresses me out more than FOMO

If you're reading this like 5 years from now and the doc is gone, feel free to reply or DM me or the guy I'm replying to. I will probably still have it, unless I get hit by a bus or something

On that note, let me add something else in a similar fashion:

Worth noting, Patriot Front had a huge leak of data in 2022.

Patriot Front Fascist Leak Exposes Nationwide Racist Campaigns

You can download it at the following torrent address:

magnet:?xt=urn:btih:2c87816e4c81990fb25bbca43dd8d578eaa55886&dn=patriotfront&tr=udp%3A%2F%2F9.rarbg.to%3A2920&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.opentrackr.org%3A1337&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Fexodus.desync.com%3A6969

I happen to be seeding this on a permanent basis. I have a gigabit uplink. Please leach and share. Expose these fucks.

Ooh.

I'm always connected with gigabit, looks like I've got a torrent to permanently seed!

If you do so then I thank you.

Already grabbing it. Not exactly a fast torrent, but once I've got it, it will stay up.

Strange. This caused me to check my torrent client and there's no uplink traffic on it. I confirmed that it's still seeding. I wonder why you're not pulling from mine. But whatever, it's getting out there to more people who care so it's a win.

No idea. I've only got 4 seeders popping up, and they are slow. Like, active for 29 hours now and I've got like... Half a gig downloaded.

Oh I've been wondering what to use my 10Gbps connection for. Thanks for the info.

Nothing stresses me out more than FOMO

Hey, I have this idea for a new cryptocurrency. It's going to be huge I swear

Yeah thank god I was too stupid to set up a wallet address at the peak of the hype. I'd probably be long dead or in prison by now.

Good plan. I will do the same. Although you might go back and do it periodically, because the list started a few days ago with only 150 names on it.

Forgot to add- Around half of women who have had abortions have had at least one child previously.

https://www.guttmacher.org/gpr/2007/05/repeat-abortion-repeat-unintended-pregnancy-repeated-and-misguided-government-policies

It's funny that Republicans want to force women to have babies but then also complain about women that have too many babies and refer to them as "welfare babies" but also want to defund social aid programs and not provide additional resources to foster kids and orphanages.

(I know that was a run-on sentence.)

It all makes sense when you realize it has nothing to do with children. They just hate women who have sex and want to punish them for it.

Well, it was a run-on thought! It really does feel that convoluted when you try and figure it out, but rest assured, you've now thought about this in more depth than most conservatives!

They want the right kind of babies.

"Welfare babies" are babies born to poor and working class parents.

They want middle class white people breeding like rabbits, though.

If they want that they should make it financially viable to do so. I want kids, but realistically I can't afford it. I'm not going to be irresponsible and inflict existence on somebody if I can't care for them properly.

Have you tried being wealthier? Seems that's what republican politicians like

Silly, me I hadn't thought of that. I guess I should take a small loan of a million dollars from my father.

I’d like to see how many people who have abortions later on choose to have a child. I think the “what if” logic for not having an abortions should also be applied to when having an abortion.

Choosing to have a child later on generally has fewer negative consequences than unchoosing a child you have already had.

Many abortions are also due to miscarriages, a child is wanted but that pregnancy was not viable, while later ones are.

Which is why even discussing the idea of these nonsense data points is useless.

Right. People use the “what if” as an excuse to ban abortions. But they don’t realize their logic can and should be used both ways.

more than you'd think, i'm guessing.

anyway, what's it to you? if someone has an abortion and never chooses to have a child, why does that matter to anyone else?

I’m curious about statistics. The post I replied to was about statistics.

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Any document for doctors who will actually listen and not make incredibly fucking idiotic observations about completely irrelevant medical topics? Asking for at least half the population of women in the U.S. who have gone in with a legit problem and been verbally pushed aside and not listened to.

"When was your last period?"

"I came in to be prescribed anti-depressants. I have been officially diagnosed."

"Yes yes, but how is your uterus?"

"I am going to need anti-psychotics if you keep this up."

I was thirteen years old when I went to the doctor by myself because a cut on my eyelid wasn't healing. I was asked about my birth control, sexual activity, and whether I thought I could be pregnant (after saying I've never had sex) then pushed out of the examination room after NOT having my eye examined at all.

As an adult, I realize now how terrible that was and I would have done something about it if it had happened to me today. But at the time I was so embarrassed and hurt, I just pushed all thought of it away until years later.

What the hell? That's so wack and useless. Stating the obvious, I know. Just saying I feel for your and others who may have had to deal with that kind of behavior.

Considering you are talking about Memerica, you also was charged for it

The fact that this has to be a Google doc maintained by the general public, instead of just having doctors do their damn job, is infuriating.

Something makes me uneasy about this being a Google sheet, you need to use credentials to view it and someone has a log of who has accessed it..you can probably even see who's viewing it in realtime

Use an anonymous account! Or someone should host this on a website or something with higher privacy

You can open it in private/incognito tab, it doesn't require credentials

The other side is concerning as well. This list could also be used by individuals looking to do some targeted harassment. Or worse.

Just entered it, with my Google credentials, even though I'm neither a woman nor an American. If they are going to track people who read it, let's add as much garbage data as we can (to the tracking, not to the sheet)

The childfree subreddit also maintains a similar list, for anyone who may need it.

I'm so happy that I already see a doctor on that list. When I told her that I won't function if I get taken off my birth control because of my endometriosis and how heavy my periods are, I was told that a hysterectomy isn't something she'd consider YET and heavily implied she'd actually consider it if birth control becomes illegal. Love her.

i hope you will forgive me for asking something so personal (and i understand if you choose to ignore it), but - if you want a hysterectomy now and have been advised of the impacts, why is she unwilling at present?

Because she doesn't think it is medically necessary due to the fact my birth control is keeping everything handled. I'm fine with not getting one now, but will want one if birth control becomes illegal.

Are these not valid questions? Serious question, don't mean to offend. I got asked the same types of questions before my doctor agreed to do my vasectomy.

My understanding is that doctors often don't just question but often refuse if they think the person should not do it. To be clear, that refusal is generally based on personal opinion, not for medical reasons.

My wife’s gynecologist has asked her if she wanted to get her tubes tied during all three of our pregnancies. It didn’t offend us, we have the kids we want now and she said yes this last time.

I appreciated him asking. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s on that list.

Isn't it far safer for a man to get a vasectomy?

Yeah it definitely is. I’m older than her though and we discussed it. I could end up kicking the bucket or our relationship might fail and she wants to plan ahead for the unknown.

We’ve got a few more weeks to talk about it, but ultimately I might end up getting a vasectomy too just to have it over with. I have plenty of kids.

I have two adopted and 5 biological, so I’m good at this point.

Hell, I was good 3 kids ago really. Haha

I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything in this world though.

Generally yes vasectomy is safer. But if they're planning to give birth via c-section for whatever reason for example, then in practical terms there's basically no additional risk. Plus neither method is totally effective. So if you can both get fixed you have much better chances of not getting pregnant accidentally.

This is exactly the issue. A friend of mine knew for a fact she never wanted to have children, but at the time was in her early twenties. Finding a surgeon who would do it was damn near impossible. Half of them refused without speaking with her husband (!) the other half just refused period saying she was young and didn't know what she wants and would change her mind later.

At NO point was 'my body my choice' part of the discussion.

There was a similarly good thread on Reddit a couple weeks back about a woman who just gave birth and was having a lot of pain and knew something was wrong, and the doctor just dismissed her and said she's being hormonal. It wasn't until her husband threatened to sue the hospital that they finally got her a different doctor, who rushed her into the ER and as I recall said if she waited another day she'd have died.

The point is, and the problem is, that medical establishment has an awful habit of denying women agency over their own bodies. Always wrapped in valid reasons, but the result is still the same.

None of those are required to be known for any other surgery. "Are you sure you want your shoulder fixed? What if in a few years you find a nice someone and want it broken again? Think of the smiles of your children when you rub this scar line!"

Your heart is in the right place, but that's not exactly a reasonable comparison. Few other surgeries, even elective ones, permanently remove your ability to do something as major as procreation.

People should have the option to have their tubes tied without judgement, but it is not as simple a decision as repairing a damaged part of the body.

Age definitely seems really valid. Like I can imagine that certain things about the operation itself can change with age.

As a man, I think it's the sort of experience that men struggle to understand because of patriarchal dynamics.

What I mean is: if a doctor were to:

  • ask me if I have considered other forms of birth control
  • and then explain all the different birth control methods to make sure I actually understand,
  • ask if I've talked about the decision with my wife,
  • and then explain that a general impression of her opinion isn't the same thing as sitting down together and reviewing all the data,
  • ask if understand how the surgery will affect my body
  • and then explain the hormonal changes my body would go through
  • etc

before agreeing to schedule a vasectomy.

Interpretting these questions through the lens of my lived experience:

These are thorough but pragmatic questions. The doctor is trying to make sure I understand all the options. The doctor is a peer with special expertise and wants to make sure that I understand all the risks.

But women too often grow up in an environment which tells them:

  • Women should trust the men in their lives too make the best decisions for them.
  • That having children is the most important thing they can do in the world.
  • A woman's value is proportional to her utility as a wife and mother.
  • Women that have sex for fun are disgusting sluts.

So when they get asked a barrage of questions identical to the ones I'dve been asked, they experience them very differently. Women are not irrational to hear the exact same questions very differently if they are interpreting them through the lens of their experiences. Maybe they experience those questions as:

  • "Why don't you just stop having so much sec you slut?"
  • "Don't you know how to have sex with out getting pregnant you dumb bitch?"
  • "Do you have your husband's permission?"
  • "Does your husband know you're a slut?"
  • "Do you understand that you will be destroying your value to society if you don't have kids?"
  • "Do you understand that you will become any even crazier bitch after this?"

And too often, the doctor really does mean that.

We moved hospitals for the birth of our twins to find one that was willing to tie her tubes when they took the twins out. She ended up having to have a hysterectomy for other reasons later but them being willing to tie her tubes during the c-section was a big part of our decision on doctors to see.

My mom had a hell of a time getting her tubes tied after my brother was born. She had to argue with the doctor for a while to eventually get it done. Gave her the old "What if you change your mind later?" line in like 5 different variations. The one that really angered me though when she told me the story was "What if something happens to one of your children?" Like you were just replacing a busted TV or something.

The one that really angered me though when she told me the story was “What if something happens to one of your children?” Like you were just replacing a busted TV or something.

That's so awful. What a bizarre attitude. It's like something out of the Middle Ages- you can always have another, unless you die in childbirth.

It is not an unreasonable question, I was asked the same when I got my vasectomy. The implication was "you are young enough to have another should the worst happen", not that kids are replaceable parts.

Cool. That implication doesn't matter if you're in an abusive relationship where your husband expects you to keep pumping out children.

That doesn't really matter though. Doctors aren't supposed to judge like that. You have to deal with that because you're, emphasis on you, are making the decision right now to forfeit that ability in the future.

how do i submit a doctor? i had a hysterectomy at 27, childless, thanks to an exhausting search that led me to an amazing gyno in my area.

ope, i figured it out. lol

You're welcome to join us over on !childfree@lemmy.world, if you feel like it. Rather fairly inactive for the time being, unfortunately.

I'm not sure what that community is like here, but the reddit one left a bad taste for me back in the day. I'm a step parent, i don't hate kids.. i just don't want to be pregnant. :)

Considering the aims of Project 2025, this may end up being illegal within the next four years.

Best to pass this info on to any pre-menopausal women that you know of out there. Having tubes tied still allows eggs to be harvested, it just prevents the sperm from reaching said egg outside of a test tube.