Respectability Rule

rambling_lunatic@sh.itjust.works to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 1009 points –
79

Then you have a kid and you spend the rest of your life

If kids are creme pies, and kids grow up to be adults, then we are all creampies.

We are all cream pies on this blessed day

every year when everybody has birthday parties, everybody should serve creampies instead of birthday cakes. Because of the symbolism.

It's an awkward scary part of our life. Fierce competition. Won by pure luck.

Not long after our first breath of air we start regretting our life choices.

Socially acceptable, How about this song from the classy 1920s:

"Oh I got nipples on my titties the size of my thumb

I got sumthin' between my legs that'll make a man cum"

I don't remember the last rest of the lyrics but damn what a banger

Depends on your social circles I guess.

Name a social circle where you can use language like in the first example, and it's acceptable.

Friends who are OK talking about and don't shame you about sex. Also friends who have a sense of fucking humor.

I know several people in the kink community who would congratulate and be enthusiastically happy for someone who said the first, but would only politely say "congrats" to the second.

Half of my former social circle would have found the second version unacceptable

You can say anything you want to anyone, but there's usually a better way to say it.

I just like that someone is getting laid every night and that is part of their best life. In fact, I assumed the hot messy creampie woman is managing her fertility as she sees fit.

Also jizz is totally a drug. Dopemine, I think.

And yet the doctor tells me I have to stop snorting jizz because it's "bad for my lungs". Like, ok narc smh

That raises some good questions about how to best absorb dopamine from jizz. I suspect anally is super-effective.

Inhalation of nebulized jizz probably less so, but worth a try.

I love when this post/thought pops up because it just outs people who have no idea how pregnancy works.

What about this is not how pregnancy works, exactly?

Mostly the "every night" part. There are only about 6 days a month when women can get pregnant iirc. And unless she's getting a random train of dudes, there's pretty significant diminishing returns on repeated loads (not that they hurt, mind you). It's just kind of a childish comparison.

Well that's complicated. A LOT of people who can get pregnant don't have regular cycles, don't have predictable ovulation, don't know or have all the regular signs of ovulation, etc, that make tracking fertile periods tough. They are also people who bleed during ovulation, or have sporadic bleeding throughout their cycle, or bleed frequently from sex, all of which can confound predicting ovulation.

To compound that, sperm can live up to 5 days in the receivers reproductive tract extending a typical ovulation period to 11 days. https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/sperm-and-semen-faq

I don't see how that means they don't know how pregnancy works. Yeah, you could track it, or you could just cover all possibilities.

If you are trying to be efficient about it and/or are having difficulties. For the majority of people, forgoing birth control and doing it every other day is more than enough to get pergnant.

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"people", in this instance, are evidently you, which is ironically why we need more than half-assed sex ed

Responded above but mostly the "every night" bit. That's not how cycles work. Not saying a woman can't be getting constant creampies but that's not exactly automatic when someone is trying for a baby.

I like how it outs all the humorless uptight busybodies personally

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My wife got pregnant on our first try. Yes, I am that potent.

And when they do get pregnant I'm the asshole for saying "congratulations on your successful ejaculation!"

You say: We aren't trying for a baby, but we're not avoiding it either.

I hear: I'm off my birth control and we're raw-dogging like 5 times a day.