Piano sommelier’s recommend tasting upright, with proper posture, to sustain the best notes of ivory, maple, mahogany, and rosewood. Cracking the lid before dining is crucial, and the only way to truly hammer home some of the more subtle dissonance between flavours.
Edit: If you find your piano is a bit too “stringy”, you may have to cook it longer. Young, over-confident, plucky chef’s often make this mistake.
Edit 2: over-cooking can also dampen the flavour, fyi.
Edit 3: one last thing, if the staff haven’t let piano rest, you’ll also want to pedal back your expectations, better to just hit up any other bar and maybe try a classical italian coda.
Edit 4: sorry, typo… soda.
You son of a bitch… /s
Remember to use the tuning fork, not the salad fork.
"Lotito holds the record for the 'strangest diet' in the Guinness Book of Records. He was awarded a brass plaque by the publishers to commemorate his abilities. He ate his award."
#List of unusual items consumed
At least:[3][8][12]
45 door hinges
18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 TV sets
6 chandeliers
2 beds
1 pair of skis
1 computer
1 Cessna 150 light aircraft
1 waterbed (full of water)
500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once
1 coffin (with handles)
1 Guinness award plaque
"Monsieur Mouth" Nice.
I tried to come up with a witty reply, but sadly that's not my forte.
Me too. Honestly, the whole experience fell flat for me.
You probably didn't age it enough. Or try simmering it in wine with honey for some hours.
Nothing ethical about it. It asks for things you "can" eat, not things that you "would" eat. Luckily there are no pictures of people.
You can eat a piano, just have to do it a small piece at a time.
Is it eating if you’re real just acting as a piece of fleshy conduit?
Piano keys passing through human meat tube is not what I would consider eating
"can" is only a matter of attitude and determination
Everything is edible once!
Oh yeah? Can you eat a star or the concept of love or your own entire head?
Not with that attitude!
The key is to take enough hallucinogenics. Then you can do all three.
Love me some Panda Express
Had it ask me to pick animals - and there were pictures of chicken wings in there lol
I mean it was an animal once
I mean it was an animal once
Maybe it had seen The Wing Or The Thigh (original language title L'aile ou la cuisse, starring Louis de Funès) and deduced that they're artificial.
This legitimately told me I was wrong after I clicked all the burgers
It knows the true nutritional value found in your average baby grand piano.
CAPTCHA supports healthy diets
Missed opportunity for joke about eating pussy, although that term is probably what would cause the algorithm to do this to begin with
It says "can", not "should"
You wouldn't eat a piano
It only asks if I CAN eat the piano, which makes it viable as a correct choice as well
Are you telling us you're suffering from Pica?
Don’t tell me what I can’t do! - John Locke
I wouldn't eat a whole one.
Not with that attitude you won’t
I'm currently only eating ethically sourced food, so no ebony or ivory for me, despite how well they go together.
I got this prompt recently and it accepted my answer when I included the panda.
We're getting closer and closer to "You're in a desert, walking along when you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and flip it over on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"
Is this were we come up blasting?
Even more of a dilemma if you’re veggie
You do know that vegetarian burgers exist, right?
I'm very aware, as they are the only burgers I eat 😉
But alas, chances are the pictures aren't of veggie burgers
So everything but the piano. Even then, it’s more of a “don’t tell me what I can’t do” type attitude.
That was a wild Wikipedia. I laughed when I saw he ate his own award plaque.
This gets considerably more confusing after watching a few episodes of "Is It Cake?"
I just had the same fucking one and that's what I thought.
Are those all AI generated images? They seem wonky.
Gee, imagine if we trained our upcoming AI overlords that you can eat pianos and pandas, but not hamburgers, lol.
It might backfire. They could end up feeding us piano key/panda nutrient blends in our cages once they enslave us all.
Its funny because they're not even good AI generated images. I always fail these because they usually request real things so I never select the ones obviously generated lol. Like, my dude, I cant eat an AI generated hamburger, if you want me to mark that half melted burger as edible you might wanna phrase it a little differently.
Panda Express.
Now with real Panda.
Just eat your phone
apex predator intensifies
I heard of a man eating a whole table once, chip by chip. A piano isn't off the table for those who are brave enough
For real, this isn't a reasonable captcha. Next one please.
Piano obviously
YeH fair. I could eat a cat or panda, depending on how desperate I am.
I'm eyeing up that piano. A little worcestershire sauce on the keys... mmm now I'm hungry!
I had one of these earlier today which included a horse. Due to the horse meat scandal in the UK I have most likely unwittingly eaten many horses.
The wat
The pianos are right there my guy
The bottom right cat looks like it came from a furry hentai game on steam
I'm reminded of the Food Theory video where they tried to eat a Christmas tree. It's fully doable. But not recommended.
It all comes down to how hard you're willing to try, doesn't it?
I'm just glad they said "can" and not "would".
I'm also vegan, which would add another layer of complication. I can't eat the piano if those are real ivory keys. ;-)
Is this some omni meme I'm too vegan to understand?
By western standards, you'd certainly not eat some of those things unless a survival situation has been forced on you...You've gotten a chuckle out of me anyway, as it is funny.
But you still can eat them. Behind the societal norms they're just as much good meat as the hamburgers.
Two cats. Is it testing to see if you're Alf?
As an asian, each of them are edible.
According to some there are two vegan options there
This one's pretty easy, jusy click them all.
Ugh even the best piano is way too stringy for my tastes. That thing in the middle row looks like an organ. It should be easy enough to find someone to eat your organ.
That piano be looking tasty tho
selects all :)
There's also one like "select all pictures with animals". I was like uhm technically...
Cats are good protein and I'm sure panda steaks aren't half bad.
How does giant panda meat taste? Terrible, apparently. In 1983, a Chinese villager named Leng Zhizhong was tried for illegally killing a giant panda. He told the judge that his wife cooked the meat with turnips, but they didn’t enjoy it, so he fed some to his pigs and gave the remainder to his sister. Leng, unfortunately, didn’t explain what made the meat so unpalatable in what appears to be the only written description of panda-eating.
...
It’s tempting to assume that giant pandas would taste like other members of the taxonomic family Ursidae, such as black and brown bears, which were a regular part of the frontier diet in 18th-century North America. Bear meat is darker and fattier than beef, although similar in flavor. The problem with the comparison, though, is that an animal’s diet greatly affects the flavor of its own flesh. Bears that dine mainly on salmon, for example, taste worse than those with a more varied diet. Since 99 percent of a giant panda’s diet is bamboo—with the occasional addition of a rodent, bird, or fish that popped out of a stream—it’s very unlikely that its flesh tastes anything like that of other bears.
The red panda, which is not directly related to the giant panda, has also largely avoided human gastronomic interest.* There are growing reports, however, of Chinese restaurants keeping live, caged red pandas and offering their meat to guests. Descriptions of the experience are rare, suggesting that the animal may also be unpalatable.
Tried eating a piano once but it tasted a bit sharp
Me too. The flavor left me flat.
Piano sommelier’s recommend tasting upright, with proper posture, to sustain the best notes of ivory, maple, mahogany, and rosewood. Cracking the lid before dining is crucial, and the only way to truly hammer home some of the more subtle dissonance between flavours.
Edit: If you find your piano is a bit too “stringy”, you may have to cook it longer. Young, over-confident, plucky chef’s often make this mistake.
Edit 2: over-cooking can also dampen the flavour, fyi.
Edit 3: one last thing, if the staff haven’t let piano rest, you’ll also want to pedal back your expectations, better to just hit up any other bar and maybe try a classical italian coda.
Edit 4: sorry, typo… soda.
You son of a bitch… /s
Remember to use the tuning fork, not the salad fork.
I mean this guy ate a cessna 150
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Lotito
"Lotito holds the record for the 'strangest diet' in the Guinness Book of Records. He was awarded a brass plaque by the publishers to commemorate his abilities. He ate his award."
#List of unusual items consumed
At least:[3][8][12]
45 door hinges 18 bicycles 15 shopping carts 7 TV sets 6 chandeliers 2 beds 1 pair of skis 1 computer 1 Cessna 150 light aircraft 1 waterbed (full of water) 500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once 1 coffin (with handles) 1 Guinness award plaque
"Monsieur Mouth" Nice.
I tried to come up with a witty reply, but sadly that's not my forte.
Me too. Honestly, the whole experience fell flat for me.
You probably didn't age it enough. Or try simmering it in wine with honey for some hours.
Just don’t eat the burnt ones
A piano is edible if you are willing enough
Nothing ethical about it. It asks for things you "can" eat, not things that you "would" eat. Luckily there are no pictures of people.
You can eat a piano, just have to do it a small piece at a time.
Is it eating if you’re real just acting as a piece of fleshy conduit?
Piano keys passing through human meat tube is not what I would consider eating
"can" is only a matter of attitude and determination
Everything is edible once!
Oh yeah? Can you eat a star or the concept of love or your own entire head?
Not with that attitude!
The key is to take enough hallucinogenics. Then you can do all three.
Love me some Panda Express
Had it ask me to pick animals - and there were pictures of chicken wings in there lol
I mean it was an animal once
I mean it was an animal once
Maybe it had seen The Wing Or The Thigh (original language title L'aile ou la cuisse, starring Louis de Funès) and deduced that they're artificial.
This legitimately told me I was wrong after I clicked all the burgers
It knows the true nutritional value found in your average baby grand piano.
CAPTCHA supports healthy diets
Missed opportunity for joke about eating pussy, although that term is probably what would cause the algorithm to do this to begin with
It says "can", not "should"
You wouldn't eat a piano
It only asks if I CAN eat the piano, which makes it viable as a correct choice as well
Are you telling us you're suffering from Pica?
Don’t tell me what I can’t do! - John Locke
I wouldn't eat a whole one.
Not with that attitude you won’t
I'm currently only eating ethically sourced food, so no ebony or ivory for me, despite how well they go together.
I got this prompt recently and it accepted my answer when I included the panda.
We're getting closer and closer to "You're in a desert, walking along when you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and flip it over on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"
Is this were we come up blasting?
Even more of a dilemma if you’re veggie
You do know that vegetarian burgers exist, right?
I'm very aware, as they are the only burgers I eat 😉 But alas, chances are the pictures aren't of veggie burgers
So everything but the piano. Even then, it’s more of a “don’t tell me what I can’t do” type attitude.
This guy ate a cessna
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Lotito
That was a wild Wikipedia. I laughed when I saw he ate his own award plaque.
This gets considerably more confusing after watching a few episodes of "Is It Cake?"
I just had the same fucking one and that's what I thought.
Are those all AI generated images? They seem wonky.
Gee, imagine if we trained our upcoming AI overlords that you can eat pianos and pandas, but not hamburgers, lol.
It might backfire. They could end up feeding us piano key/panda nutrient blends in our cages once they enslave us all.
Its funny because they're not even good AI generated images. I always fail these because they usually request real things so I never select the ones obviously generated lol. Like, my dude, I cant eat an AI generated hamburger, if you want me to mark that half melted burger as edible you might wanna phrase it a little differently.
Panda Express.
Now with real Panda.
Just eat your phone
apex predator intensifies
I heard of a man eating a whole table once, chip by chip. A piano isn't off the table for those who are brave enough
Have you heard of Michel Lotito? He ate an entire aircraft.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel\_Lotito https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/67621-strangest-diet
Wtf...
That's got to be some serious pica.
For real, this isn't a reasonable captcha. Next one please.
Piano obviously
YeH fair. I could eat a cat or panda, depending on how desperate I am.
I'm eyeing up that piano. A little worcestershire sauce on the keys... mmm now I'm hungry!
I had one of these earlier today which included a horse. Due to the horse meat scandal in the UK I have most likely unwittingly eaten many horses.
The wat
The pianos are right there my guy
The bottom right cat looks like it came from a furry hentai game on steam
I'm reminded of the Food Theory video where they tried to eat a Christmas tree. It's fully doable. But not recommended.
It all comes down to how hard you're willing to try, doesn't it?
I'm just glad they said "can" and not "would".
I'm also vegan, which would add another layer of complication. I can't eat the piano if those are real ivory keys. ;-)
Is this some omni meme I'm too vegan to understand?
By western standards, you'd certainly not eat some of those things unless a survival situation has been forced on you...You've gotten a chuckle out of me anyway, as it is funny.
But you still can eat them. Behind the societal norms they're just as much good meat as the hamburgers.
Two cats. Is it testing to see if you're Alf?
As an asian, each of them are edible.
According to some there are two vegan options there
This one's pretty easy, jusy click them all.
Ugh even the best piano is way too stringy for my tastes. That thing in the middle row looks like an organ. It should be easy enough to find someone to eat your organ.
That piano be looking tasty tho
selects all :)
There's also one like "select all pictures with animals". I was like uhm technically...
Cats are good protein and I'm sure panda steaks aren't half bad.
How does giant panda meat taste? Terrible, apparently. In 1983, a Chinese villager named Leng Zhizhong was tried for illegally killing a giant panda. He told the judge that his wife cooked the meat with turnips, but they didn’t enjoy it, so he fed some to his pigs and gave the remainder to his sister. Leng, unfortunately, didn’t explain what made the meat so unpalatable in what appears to be the only written description of panda-eating.
...
It’s tempting to assume that giant pandas would taste like other members of the taxonomic family Ursidae, such as black and brown bears, which were a regular part of the frontier diet in 18th-century North America. Bear meat is darker and fattier than beef, although similar in flavor. The problem with the comparison, though, is that an animal’s diet greatly affects the flavor of its own flesh. Bears that dine mainly on salmon, for example, taste worse than those with a more varied diet. Since 99 percent of a giant panda’s diet is bamboo—with the occasional addition of a rodent, bird, or fish that popped out of a stream—it’s very unlikely that its flesh tastes anything like that of other bears.
The red panda, which is not directly related to the giant panda, has also largely avoided human gastronomic interest.* There are growing reports, however, of Chinese restaurants keeping live, caged red pandas and offering their meat to guests. Descriptions of the experience are rare, suggesting that the animal may also be unpalatable.
Source: https://slate.com/technology/2012/10/prehistoric-humans-ate-panda-what-do-panda-bears-taste-like.html