"intermittent fasting" rule

wrenchmonkey@lemmy.blahaj.zone to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 455 points –

true.

alt text: "Off work late? Hungry, but don't want to cook? try taking a few hits of weed and then doing nothing. we can try eating again tomorrow. maybe."

66

With a high risk of suddenly just eating 3 bags of chips

With a high risk of suddenly just eating 3 bags of chips

An entire unopened box of breakfast cereal.

i cant imagine eating it unopened is good for digestion.

The box is fine, adds fiber. The plastic bag inside, though...

Mmm macro plastics, yummy in my tummy 😋😋😋

I just found out all my favorite foods are served with plastic. I guess it is delicious, folks!

Kelloggs CEO reading this comment section getting ready to drop another banger

The higher the plastic content, the lower the amount of years we have to submit to this garbage.

yeah I don't understand the "not eating forever" thing. the only question is whether I eat the three bags of chips before or after the 6 servings of drunken noodles arrived

ill be too lazy to make food usually when i get high

Idk about y'all but I'll eat raw flour when I'm high. Any non poisonous calories are fair game to stoner me.

Edit: I need to teach y'all the art of hyperbole

Just learned this last year!

Flour doesn’t look like a raw food, but most flour is raw. That means it hasn’t been treated to kill germs that cause food poisoning, such as Escherichia coli (E. coli) and Salmonella. These harmful germs can contaminate grain while it’s still in the field or flour while it’s being made. Steps like grinding grain and bleaching flour don’t kill harmful germs—and these germs can end up in flour or baking mixes you buy at the store. You can get sick if you eat unbaked dough or batter made with flour containing germs. Germs are killed only when flour is baked or cooked.

CDC investigated outbreaks linked to raw flour or cake mix in 2016, 2019, 2021, and 2023.

-see dee see

I wouldn‘t put raw flour under „non poisonous calories“ and I guess one does not heat treat the flour they want to eat, when high.

Flour is specifically why you’re not supposed to eat the cookie dough. It can contain E. coli.

Brother, you are third person to say that exact same thing when I was clearly just fucking around in the first place

Bruh did you actually expect anyone to take that as a joke?

Last time I smoked while I was hungry I chased my cat around the house by walking with my hands out towards the cat like a toddler, until he got tired and flopped over

I then picked him up and proceeded to cook and eat with one hand while still holding the cat

One of my cats always beats up the other so sometimes I pick up the victim kitty and chase the asshole cat with her.

Seems like law and order is running smoothly

I'm so glad I didn't get another cat, my cat turned out to be an asshole so I can't imagine what kind of mischief another cat would've brought

Oh my God I love when you're playing with them and they get tired and flop over on their side like that!! My cat does it, too! That's my fucking favorite!!

Also, I like you. You sound fun. I do those exact same things sober, lol. Although a lot of the time when I try to hold her while doing something, she ends up crawling onto my shoulder/neck/back and I have to cook and eat hunched over all weird because of it, often with her happy tail whacking me in the face...but she's just so damn happy up there and it's beautiful! How can I deny her that? At least then I have two hands to work with, lol.

Thanks, I like you too. Yeah it's super adorable when they just decide that they're done and just flop over

My cat kind of sits up when I grab him. I have to cradle my arm and grab his butt so that he can straighten his front legs on my elbow and he refuses to be held any other way. And the face he makes, it looks as if he was staring off into the sunset from a mountain cliff

In the end it's either one arm or no cat

Fasting? I thought they called this "depression", at least thats what they keep telling me..

ADHD can do it too

The mind is fucking weird man. I’ve got ADHD and Binge Eating Disorder. Quite the opposite end of the spectrum. But when I’m medicated I’ll skip or delay meals and won’t snack at all because I’m busy with other stuff.

I bought a pint of ice cream last week and it’s still in my freezer unopened. My fatass wouldn’t do that if I wasn’t medicated. Wouldn’t last a day.

I can binge a certain food in ungodly quantities or buy it and not eat it because it's no longer a safe food :(

Which is how I found myself getting a "minimum calorie per day" from my doctor.

And autism! And I don't even need the weed to just stare at the wall in existential dread!

If I am already hungry, I don't want to smoke and feel hungrier.

You need to start smoking habitually so you don't get the munchies any more.

My munchies were always worse the more chronically I smoked. The problem with chronic smoking is that you don't really get much of a high after the first bowl of the day, so I would replace that with the taste rush of a mound of junk food.

Yeah. I smoke weed and "forget" to eat. It's infinitely more probable that I go on a mission and stuff myself with the shittiest food in human history for hours, then instantly regretting it, so I have to smoke more weed. You see where this is going?

Don't smoke weed too not to cook. Weed gives you the munchies. Try smoking crack. You'll definitely don't want want to cook after that.

This but meth

“Don’t wanna eat (or sleep (or have teeth))? Try some She’s A Hot Meth™ brand meth¹ today!”

  1. Side effects may include loss of weight, erection, will to live.

Or you invent weird things to eat. Like Butter Vodka, which is made like this:

  • Take a full stick of cold butter out of the fridge and put it in a Colin's glass
  • Pour vodka over it
  • Enjoy

Third step is optional, and arguably, asperational.

Anyway, that's how my brain works on THC. Some would say even without THC.

"Don't want to cook?"

Never

"Don't want to do the dishes after cooking?"

Permanently.

Has anyone tried eating raw potatoes? My favorite food from childhood.

fun fact: if you lose your sense of taste potatoes give the same experience as eating apples, as do onions.

Honestly I do alternate day fasting and weed makes it so much easier when I start running out of energy at the end of the day.

... you guys don't raw-dog your daily staring at the wall? Need weed? Skill issue. (In the sense that you are skilled enough to make you life that little bit better)

Lost 70 lbs this way. Gained it back after I quit lol

... who tf quits staring at the wall?? Are we even allowed to just not do that? How?

Nah i had just learned about lamda calculus and i was holed up in my room fuckin with it

Lul, nerd, just go push a rock in some laser beam, that's how the cool scientists like Gordon do it.

That's crazy. I always associated smoking with pigging out on junk food - like, five to six thousand calories a day of junk food - so I always gained a huge amount of weight. BTW anybody who thinks eating five to six thousand calories a day is impossible has never sat down and eaten a whole box (12) of Dunkin Donuts, one after the other. Or eaten a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's, driven to the store for another pint, eaten it, and then driven back to the store for a third pint.

Honest question, how do you not barf after all that? And doesn't all that sugar make you feel intensely weird?

Sidenote I love your username

TBH I don't really know how I managed to eat all that shit, but the human body adapts to all kinds of mistreatment. I'm currently extremely fit and I eat healthy, and even just eating one donut now kind of fucks me up - makes me all jittery and nauseous.

Kids In The Hall forever!