How do you get rid of bad neighbors?

Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 161 points –

So our neighbors have been a growing problem for a few months now. They seem to be a flop house for six or seven people, most of them look high all day. They go out and Rev a Harley at 3am, they burn plastic been our houses in a fire pit, they have a new dog every two weeks because they keep getting out and getting hit by traffic in the busy street we live on, the current two have bit people. I'm not one to care how someone lives, but these folks make the rest of our slum neighborhood look downright utopian.

I've tried taking to them, they're stupidly hostile. I've put in complaints with the city, noise complaints with the police, they don't do anything about it. Does anyone have advice on dealing with this? I'm tired, at my wits end, and my small town tactics aren't as easy to pull off in a proper city.

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Yeah.. so I had a trap house move into the abandoned house next to mine.

Lots people spouting off with this and that and the other but won't give you advice that works. And advice that works? Banana bread.

Dead ass. Make them banana bread. Monthly if not weekly. Make them notice when it's not there.

We did this with the gang / crews that would rotate through next door. Was a rolling assemblage of cardroom, drug spot, ladies, just depended on the crew.

But I'll have you know, they do not fuck with the house that makes them banana bread. We ask them to not having people smoking and talking around outside? Next day, signs up on the porch "No smoking or hanging around", same with music, you name it. Obviously there are limits, but it took what could have been a terrible situation and made it bearable.

For this to work you have to change you attitude. Eventually they got busted by the feds, but once we had made "neighbors" with them, the rest was easy. They even started moving the trap house lawn. Respect earns respect. Change your attitude and you might be able to change the situation.

And then they all clapped, the gang, the neighbors and even the banana bread joined in

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This is actually the tactic I used on the rest of the neighborhood. The small town charm and my double chocolate brownies cooked in a waffle maker (I call them Wownies) has me on good terms with everyone from the dealer down the street to the homeless under the bridge. Unfortunately these folk don't bite when I offer and bite too much then I don't. After the first few tries they just started trying to hang out in my yard and started peaking too close at me workshop.

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You can't, end of discussion.

The most that the city or the police can do is issuing them a small fine for the noise complaints. The only one with even an ounce of power here is their landlord, but then it depends heavily on your country/state.

In my experience, bad neighbors don't really move. If you're lucky, you can move. But yeah, the qualities that make them bad neighbors often follow them to the rest of their lives, and they're stuck at their current means and especially in this economy, that's not a recipe for moving.

It sounds like it's a gang. In my experience gangs usually move on after enough people from that house get arrested, killed, or OD.

There isn't a hell of a lot you can do to really get rid of them. I'd try to find out if they're renting the property and see if you can get in contact with the landlord/property management company and tell them about it. Most lease agreements require that you disclose how many residents are staying there so there's a good chance theyre violating that rule among many others. The other thing is (assuming that this is the US since no location given and that's where I have experince) document absolutely everything. Make a notebook just for writing down the date and time of every stupid / possibly illegal thing you see them do. Take video / audio recordings whenever possible and avoid direct contact. Then every time they rev their motorcycle at 3am call the non emergency police line. Every. Single. Time. The cops will get tired of it, but they'll be more tired of the likely rude/violent reaction from your scumbag neighbors. Also call animal control any time you see their dog running outside of their property or of it bites someone. Long term / extreme pettiness is what's going to work. Most importantly though never confront them directly and never tell them you're calling the cops.

In addition to this [already great] answer: if you get other neighbours on the same page of you, even better. Have them reporting the scumbags to the cops, documenting the shit that they do, etc.

I'm saying this because, from the cops' PoV, it'll sound way more serious if multiple people are reporting the same thing. So they're more likely to act.

An important detail: don't make shit up. It's fine to report small shit, as long as it's real; but cops have a professionally trained nose for bullshit, so don't try to bullshit them, it'll backfire.

I think this is a great answer.

I would buy a camera security system so it's always on and you have an automatic record. Something with a hard drive.

Don't say anything about it, just quietly set it up first pointing at your house. For "your security". Then a few days later point those cams at their house / the street / their yard / etc. You may see more that you didn't know was going on.

Video evidence goes a long way. More than a person's word, usually. Sadly.

Human memories are notoriously unreliable, and physical evidence, like video footage SHOULD ABSOLUTELY be worth more than a person's word.

Hm, so idk how I feel about this one.

I think everyone deserves privacy, even shitty neighbors, recording individual instances is one thing but literally setting up surveillance on someone's home is a little yikes

What you may not have tried yet: If the yard is bad enough, call code enforcement, not police, they will send notices to the landlord not the residents, then the landlord will come yell at the residents. Burning trash may also be a code enforcement thing, not police. Those code people don't mess around, once they send a notice you have to respond/address it.

Theres legal ways and Illegal ways. How morally flexible are you?

If in being frank, they have an open crawl space next to unguarded electrical boxes and a gas main. This is an easy fix, but I promised my partner is keep it legal until we had a real reason not to.

I was thinking of a few words and maybe a little beer money for whatever your neighbourhood has for scary bastards. A few hundo in beer money for a few 1%ers to turn up on their doorstep and tell them to knock it the fuck off...

Aside from the motorcycles revving at night, are these people bothering you at all?

Well the dogs are constantly trying to get my son, the burning plastics can be smelt in the house, they've broken a section of our fence trying to get their dogs, and of course the 3am motorcycle business.

Seems like the issue is what can you do that won't also blowback on you. They know where you live, and anything you do to make their lives miserable can also happen to you. As others said I would document everything, and report anything that's illegal. You might be able to get animal control or some agency like that out for the dogs. There might be noise ordinances for the night motorcycles. Anything you file I'd try to make anonymous.

Sometimes your local legislator's office can make things happen if police or whoever seem to drag their feet. You talk to your city councilor / state reps staffer, maybe get a bunch of neighbors all to sign a thing or show up at their office/event, and then they'll lean on the cops. Local politicians pay attention to organized groups of people who seem like they won't give up (vs individuals who are pissed off but seem unlikely to be persistent)

I'd recommend those cameras with the ball enclosure so someone can't see which direction it's pointed. If you don't already have a fence (and it's appropriate) I'd put one up. Could also plant privacy hedge type plants (like arbor vitae).

We're currently working towards cameras, and while we have fences, they're ranch style so they don't stop anything that's more persistent than a dead cat. We have been breaking up our Yucca grass and trailing it along the fence to help keep their dogs out.

Do you know if they own the house? Find out.

They could be renting the place or - as was the situation in my neighborhood - one of your bikers could have "borrowed" the house from a family member. In our neighborhood, the house previously belonged to a distant relative who passed away. The majority of the family lives over a thousand miles away, so they told their wastrel daughter that she could use the house while she was getting clean.

Needless to say, the "getting clean" process never happened. She invited a host of random people to hang out at her place and they trashed it over the course of almost a year. Eventually, the family found out about the situation when one of the neighbors thought to look into ownership. They kicked the daughter out of the house and have been gutting it for the last two months, trying to clear out all of the damage done by the daughter and her friends.

Long story short, find out who actually owns the house. That may give you some options...

Catnip.

Buy a bunch of catnip (it's not expensive on eBay) and sprinkle that shit all over their yard. Get it in the flower beds, get it in the ditches, get it everywhere. It's a mint and it grows like a weed. Next thing you know the neighbors front lawn will be littered in cats and there will be no way to get rid of them.

Added bonus is you'll have cats you can pet, and very little pests in your neighborhood.

Considering who the neighbors are, the cats could be in danger.

Gonna level with you... If they're roaming outdoor cats, they're already in danger. If you really feel motivated to help them this would also bring them to an easier for SPCA to pick up. They're also a threat to local wildlife.

Used to be - by the numbers - a cat that goes outside At All would live half as long as one that never-not-once went outside.

Now it's 1/4. Source: SPCA contact.

And sure they'll kill pests, but a housecat is an absolute killing machine for songbirds. You want less mosquitoes, you need to see far fewer cats.

I think we've done well enough with the insect extinction

I have 3 "strays" currently that are all 15+ years old, born outside and the only time they've seen a vet was when they were fixed.

good on your for animal negligence I guess.

strange flex.

Actually, catnip was on my garden list already! I was planning on getting fast and loose with the seeds so this won't take much extra.

If you want to get really nefarious and don't mind getting a little legally sketchy, bug spray normally kills grass in the areas that it's sprayed in. If you happen to draw rude things in someone's front lawn there's no way to stop it from showing aside from spraying more, or just waiting for it to grow out

It sounds like you're dealing with a biker gang. If that's the case then you're not going to be able to reason with them. They're further entrenched in their lifestyle than in regular society. I hate to suggest narcing, but next time you call the cops, let them know that they're running gang activities out of the house. Cops care more about gangs than they do noise complaints. If you're in a really bad neighborhood then they still might not do anything about it, but they're more likely to mobilize if they think that there's the possibility of a big bust. Be careful though, if the gang suspects you ratted on them, it can be a hard time for you.

Seems like a bit of a leap. They're probably just regular ol' white trash.

Doesn't seem like a leap at all to me. What they described is a gang flop house, not some po-dunk family. It should be fairly easy to tell the difference though. Biker gangs typically wear patches on their jackets indicating their membership.

OP never said that they're white, and there are many different ethnicities that ride Harleys.

there are many different ethnicities [who] ride Harleys

Huh. Here I thought it was trashy old white guys and their fans.

The Mongols are a huge gang and they're predominantly Hispanic. There are plenty of African American motorcycle clubs that ride Harleys on the West Coast.

Also when the cops find out you lied about gang activity, to manipulate them into moving against non gang members, you’re fucked.

I've been in this situation several times. In the first case we moved out because the neighbour was also harassing our landlord and he decided to sell rather than deal with her. In the second case, the neighbours' landlord evicted them because they accidentally burned down the garage. In the third case another neighbour (a big guy whose face is mostly scars) threatened them with violence and it worked.

I think the first avenue I'll have to try here is the land lord, I've never seen him but there's gotta be documents who owns the building.

Are they renters? Can you complain to the homeowner?

That's an option I've considered and from what I can tell the property might belong to an old guy the town over, but I can't find any recent contact info. I'll look into contacting city records.

Many paces do not allow more than “x” number of unrelated people to live in the same house. Might try that avenue. If its several people, see what zoning allows max capacity of the home to be. Buildin, housing and fire departments don’t like too many people in one house.

Depending on where you live, you have a few possibilities. First, I'm assuming that you do not have an HOA. The premise of an HOA is that they can enforce certain restrictions, even if the law cannot/will not. I'm also writing this with the assumption that you are in the US.

If they are breaking the law, you may need to find ways to encourage the local authorities to take action. Generally, this involves doing the cops' jobs for them. The company CompuTrace, makers of LoJack for laptops, has been criticized for selling (at a high price) software that does very basic tasks that anyone can do to collect evidence on the thieves. But what they really sell is that they can use that evidence to spur the police into action, since it's an easy win. You'll probably need to talk to an attorney, or at least the prosecutor's office (not the police) to find out what they need.

Also, be sure that you have contacted all of the relevant agencies. The burn pit may need to be addressed by the fire department (especially in times of wildfire risk), or an environmental agency. They sound like irresponsible pet owners, which might be of interest to the humane society or animal control.

If they haven't broken any laws that you know of, you still might be able to sue them. You have no say in how they choose to live their lives, but you can get an injunction on how it impacts you and your property. The dog bites, specifically, are likely actionable. Loud noises probably are not.

In any event, talk to an attorney. I'm not even sure what type you would need, but the bar association can probably help.

Sounds like you have a case of shitty neighbors. Like cockroaches, only way of getting rid of them would be burning the house down. Since that isn't a humane option, I would look at moving.

Not sure where you live but if this happened in Japan you’d talk to the local Yakuza and they’d take care of it. Meaning they’d make them an offer they can’t refuse.

Sadly, the US keeps all it's organized crime in the halls of government buildings.

Sounds like a J6 opinion…

If you live in Jersey I can hook you up. But be prepared to return the favour.

People only seem to hate on HOAs because they don't like the rules they agreed to when they bought or moved into a property. But they can also enforce better behavior and conditions on nuisance people like these when the law otherwise does not require being a good neighbor.

Chill HOAs for stuff like rusted wrecks on the front lawn, totally understandable. But the HOAs around here have $500-$1,000 a month fees, which seems excessive to say the least.

Jesus, that's like a month's rent in some places. What do you get out of it in return?

An HOA that I've dealt with has 5k monthly dues lul. Tbf these are multimillion dollar homes on a cliff in a rich city. I deal with a lot of hoas at my job and some of them are crazy in both price and rules but like 90 percent of them are worthless.

No idea, a very mid looking condo, lol. It's not apparent what the funds are going towards as the condos were small and built in 2007. No parks or other amenities to maintain.

In theory they can but IRL HOAs don’t solve these problems. Because not all members of the HOA are equal either, those with bigger houses / older contracts get preferred treatment and or will just bribe the HOA board to be able to do whatever the hell they want, ie noise.

Seconded.

You only hear the horror stories, my parents sold their house and theres a horder house on the corner of the Cul-de-sac. The agent thinks that house cost them $50,000 easily.

Confucius say, if you can't beat them, join them. Err, the ethical aspects at least, if that was ever what you're going to do. I'm not saying go put dogs in danger, but such police give off the idea that you might as well be blasting a boombox at four in the morning and throwing food in their yard to attract pests to their house.

You move.

It's not up to you to control their behavior if it's not criminal.

Its so easy to say, move. The practical reality is often different. Also why the hell should they move if they aren't being obnoxious but the neighbors are. There's a certain level of decency that one should have in any setting. Being obnoxiously stupid to the point of doing all the things in OP's post makes people like that just fucking unacceptable or intolerable to live with. If people want to live like that then they should go live in the fucking wild. The rest of us actually want to live in civilized society.

Also why the hell should they move if they aren’t being obnoxious but the neighbors are.

You assume that OP is being entirely accurate in their descriptions, and that OP isn't doing shit that grates on his neighbors' nerves. That fact that it's bothering OP doesn't mean that OP has the right to dictate their behaviour. Taken to the illogical extreme, religious conservatives make exactly the same arguments against LGBTQ people being able to exist in public; when a transwoman is simply trying to exist, they're going to read it as obnoxious, antisocial behaviour.

The only way to universalize this is to say that unless their behaviour is directly, physically impacting OP--such as the dogs that are vicious--then OP needs to worry about themselves rather than what someone else is doing, as long as the neighbors aren't giving OP shit for whatever OP does.

I don't agree with the second sentence, but the OP's options are basically "live with it until they leave of their own accord" or "move yourself." The government will be no help here unless you know someone in it, especially if it's a large-ish town.

Please explain. How does OP have the right to dictate the bahaviour of other people when it's only an annoyance to them, rather than criminal or directly harmful?

Technically violations of noise ordinances are criminal, although they're usually minor misdemeanors. That would cover the bikes revving at 3am. The foul smells of plastic burning is probably also illegal.

Really this most of the rest of it covered under "don't be a dick." If someone's life's work is to be a dick, we should determine which people want to be dicks and put them in the dick section of town where they can all be dicks without anyone else complaining. It's just crazy to hear people sticking up for obvious assholes and being "MAH RIGHTS" about it.

It’s just crazy to hear people sticking up for obvious assholes and being “MAH RIGHTS” about it.

That's very literally what rights are all about, my dude. If you only had the right to peacefully protest when it was something popular, like bringing Firefly back to finish the series, then there wouldn't be any point to enshrining it as a right. Rights have to exist for everyone, even for truly awful people, or they aren't rights at all.

Look, your posting history says you're a reasonable person, and I respect that about you.

We're not talking people next door protesting some government action. We're not event talking about people doing something unpopular. We're talking about people who don't have the common courtesy to be a good neighbor. It's "I will do whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want and if I'm bothering other people in my neighborhood then fuck them because no one tells me what to do." I live in an area where I regularly have to deal with people rolling coal and revving their engines because they want people to know the rules don't apply to them and no one is going to tell them what to do.

The old rule was "you right to swing your fist ends at my nose." After COVID it seems like the rule is "I'll swing my fist wherever the hell I want, and you had better get out of my way." The local PD has been quiet quitting ever since then unless they can harass some minorities.

I understand your frustration with shitty neighbors. Really. Esp. since I lived on the west side of Chicago and had to deal with all of the nonsense that comes with it. (Although, honestly, the local gang wasn't too bad; as long as you weren't fucking with them and weren't a customer, they left you alone. Overall they seemed mostly like they were just trying to get by.)

But the problem is, where do you draw a line? Yes, OPs neighbors sound like antisocial assholes, based on how I perceive people, and how I live my own life. But if OP was a religious fundamentalist, then they would be framing things like an LGBTQ+ couple having a pride flag in the same kind of way, and claim that it was causing them the same distress to have obviously non-straight neighbors that were 'forcing their gay lifestyle on him', or were 'grooming children'. And it's quite reasonable to claim that flying a pride flag on your own property, or having a garden party with your LGBTQ+ friends on your own property, is a case where your neighbors shouldn't have any say at all over your conduct.

I don't like using concepts like 'common values' or 'community values' on things like this, because that's a very steep and slippery slope to redlining neighborhoods and institutional racism/sexism/etc. So I try to look for bright lines that you can apply in all circumstances. And it seems to me that, once you can point to a real, direct harm, then you have a solid case that it's reasonable to take action.

people rolling coal

This one bothers me personally as well, because it causes real, proven harms to the environment. Yeah, the individual effect is small, but the failure to enforce emissions laws in general--or to toughen them--is killing us.

Rev a Harley at 3am, they burn plastic been our houses

Finally people with some culture!

Imagine them using cheap chinese motorbikes instead ....

/s

You wanna know the difference between a Harley and a lawn mower?

The lawn mower has a reason for being that loud.

Aside from the Harley thing being a nuisance, I’m absolutely thankful we live in a society where there is nothing you can “do about” the neighbors you don’t like.

You have the option to move, I suppose.

Where do you live? Need a place with a friendly neighborhood to cook my moonshine and get drunk all day with my cousin wife. She’s a huge fan of Barbra Streisand and a bit deaf so I hope you won’t mind. Most of our dogs are friendly with the kids unless they don’t ride a bike.

I need to warn you though, sometimes my wife and get arguments about politics, especially when we start drinking in the morning, but it only happens once or twice in a week. No biggie.

Did I say she’s a bit deaf?

Anyway. See you soon neighbor!

Yeah getting dogs run over every 2 weeks, letting dogs bite people, burning plastic, running illegal drug dens.... These are definitely the kinds of freedoms we need to protect! The only problem is running motorcycles at night, that's where you draw the line apparently....

I mean, those neighbors sound awesome, for one. For two, they also keep rent low, which is pretty good.

But in any case, if you want them to move out, probably I would [redacted]. As a bonus, you won't have new neighbors for maybe a year, unless they just throw in a manufactured home or a prebuilt or something. On the downside, you might have to deal with construction noises next door.

I can also recommend [redacted] but wearing the lead-lined jacket afterwards does get tiring. Can OP negotiate with planetary [redacted] for a better solution?

Live and let live. Mind your business and move.

Probably not what you want to hear... But I mean it.

Getting woken up at 3am is their business. They need sleep to be healthy and work and their neighbors are the ones causing the problem. The viewpoint you're expressing is very selfish and antisocial.

I believe "live and let live" kinda doesn't work when your fucking dog bites people, you know?

That’s the cops job to deal with, Obviously report that, but if it’s something not illegal, you don’t really have an option

Wow, two in a row. I don't even have to fully type it out again.

Its so easy to say, move. The practical reality is often different. Also why the hell should they move if they aren't being obnoxious but the neighbors are. There's a certain level of decency that one should have in any setting. Being obnoxiously stupid to the point of doing all the things in OP's post makes people like that just fucking unacceptable or intolerable to live with. If people want to live like that then they should go live in the fucking wild. The rest of us actually want to live in civilized society.