Never store gerbils up your ass, we went over this!

SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 302 points –
55

Only thing I can think of that would actually cause this is that bro is playing video games with butt toys in. We should celebrate that he is exploring the wonderful world off butt stuff but might need to have a conversation about moderation

Sync the vibration with your controller and get back to me

Have you heard of buttplug.io?

Wtf, cult of the lamb and lethal company?

Yup and Ultrakill has an officially released mod that integrates with Buttplug.io.

But why these games?

There's a lot more that Buttplug.io supports. It's an entire open source framework that others can build stuff onto to control sex toys. As for why these? Eh why not? Single player games don't exactly require the consent of other players if you're getting your rocks off to game controlled sex toys, and multi-player games should only be used if you do actually have consent.

Specifically for ultrakill's officially supported mod, that's just the kind of thing they'd do. They also made body pillow covers of Gabriel and V1 as official merch. And yes they are in those kinds of poses.

My question was more like, why these sfw genre type games? I am just confused as to why.

You're asking an age old question about humanity that there is no answer beyond "humans are horny motherfuckers."

Wearing your shoes while sitting cross legged on it would probably do this. In fact, I think that was the explanation on the original tweet.

JD Vance's fetish is broader than we knew previously. Gaming Chair BDSM.

Only guess is bro doesn't wipe or shower very well and is constantly doing the itchy-butthole-wiggle in his chair.

Dude farting out chlorine gas or something wtf?
What do his pants look like???

Hydrogen Sulfide can damage concrete, not sure about the chair tho

Shitty gaming chairs fall apart like this. There are a lot of shitty gaming chairs. Funny, I got what I thought was a cheap-ass ikea chair and it’s still trucking along just fine.

I fucking hate my Milberget chair from Ikea. I was there a few weeks ago checking out chairs and didn't find a single one that waw comfortible. Which one do you have?

Markus. Don’t know if they make them anymore, had it for years.

Edit: yes, they’re still made, but they’ve been changed a little and are more expensive.

I can recommend the Corsair TC100.

At less than 180€ it was way cheaper than my previous one and is so mucb more comfortable.

Get one that uses mesh instead of foam.

I gave a couple of those a spin. But of course almost any chair feels still somewhat okay to sit in for 5 minutes.

What's the deal with them?

He clearly ripped out his skidmark rather than clean it

Taco bell claims another chair

That chair looks ripped up, if it was taco bell it would look more melted and/or burnt 🤔

I thought it said "his shole had teeth" and it took me awhile to both notice the B and to really be it was for censorship.

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass, true story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but the next week he did it again! Different cat, same results complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him a week later at the mall and he's buying another cat and I says to him Jesus, Walt, what are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass too, why don't you knock it off! And he says to me "Thebeardedsinglemalt, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"

My couson was a weird guy

His roommate should clean his asshole more thoroughly 😖

Don't get a chair with cheap foam like that. Get one that uses mesh instead. More breathable, and it'll last way longer. Ikea may have some. The Staples Hyken is pretty decent for the price, if you get it on sale (<$150).

The Herman Miller Aeron chair is still the best, but it's very expensive. You might be able to get a good deal at a store that sells ex-office furniture, but a "good deal" for the Aeron is still $500-600. I think there's some Amazon stores that sell them second hand. If you buy one new, they have a 15 year warranty that covers practically everything. My employer had a pretty big discount on new new ones for home use, from the supplier they use for the office.

A mesh surface is not automatically longer lasting. Quite the contrary, actually:

Mesh is "less material per surface". This means more stress is put on the strands than for a full cover upholstery.

Mesh is open, which over time means that dirt and grime will start gathering in the cushion beneath the mesh. This can end up pretty nasty over the years of heavy usage.

In the end, it's always about proper materials: good quality foam exists and are used by some, but obviously it's usually more expensive. Same for the surface material: there's super cheap PVC leather that will start flaking off in weeks, and there's high quality PVC leather that will last a decade. Or just go for real leather if you got the money. All of the closed surfaces have the advantage of being incredibly easy to clean and maintain: simply wipe them with a wet towel. For real leather, only a tiny bit of extra care is needed ( waxing ).

the cushion beneath the mesh.

Neither my wife's chair nor my chair has a cushion underneath the mesh. It's just plastic underneath the mesh, and you can easily wipe dust off the plastic.

This means more stress is put on the strands than for a full cover upholstery.

While that may be true, I've had more issues with foam chairs than mesh chairs.

There are some foam + upholstery chairs that are very good though, like the Steelcase Gesture (which rivals the Herman Miller Aeron).