What’s a good place to get engagement rings that **arent* diamond?

yokonzo@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 85 points –

I’m thinking about proposing to my girl, however we both think diamonds as a standard is stupid and overrated, we both prefer much more colorful and comparatively cheaper gemstones like rubies and sapphires, but I’m having trouble finding a good place for that, I’ve never done this before, any ideas?

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Consider "moissanite". Beautiful manufactured gemstones that look very much like diamonds but are a fraction of the price.

They don't just look like diamond; chemically they're extremely similar, too. Diamond is just a bunch of carbon atoms covalently bonded together into a 3D crystal, which is why they're so incredibly hard. Moissanite is basically the same but it's carbon and silicon atoms mixed together. Silicon has the same number of valence electrons, so it can function similarly chemically as carbon, hence why it works. Thus, moissanite is also extremely hard and refracts light in beautiful ways, too, except imo even more beautifully. Instead of a colorless luster, it's a subtle rainbow luster to moissanite.

Source: I got my fiancée a moissanite ring, and it's lovely. And because it's lab-made, I got her blue moissanite (the coloring is just from adding certain impurities) that matches our cat's eyes perfectly. It's way more unique, cheaper, and more ethical than diamond, but doesn't sacrifice on quality one bit.

Yessss.

My ring is moissanite and it's got a rainbow flash (instead of the boring diamond one). It cost just over a hundred off etsy and it has no slavery involved! I love it!

Moissanite is the way to go!

And a more interesting luster IMO

Yes, very...I believe the technical term is "sparkly". Lol. But seriously, they're amazing.

I got my wife’s engagement ring off Etsy. It’s “smokey topaz” and the exact style she wanted, and was very inexpensive. She loves it.

Second for Etsy, that's where I got both of my wife's rings and she loves them.

Thirded for etsy. i went with simple bands of high quality metals. Silver at first then gold for the tenth. They're quite attractive.

I have a moissonite ring, but it looks very much like a diamond. If you're looking for something different, I would check antique stores or estate sales to look for a second hand gem. You can always have it put in a new setting if the ring is too dated for your tastes.

My wife's engagement ring is also Moissanite and she loves it. It looks like a $20k ring to anyone but a jeweler (honestly I regret going with as big of a stone as I did, but my wife loves it), but I "only" spent $2.5k on it

Plus Moissanite is harder and has a higher brilliance than diamond. A great alternative for people who don't want to waste money on diamonds, but still want a "traditional" ring

I'm holding a 25mm moissanite that I bought for fun because it's the roughly the same size as the hope diamond and it was $250 without a certificate. There's a ton of competition now so prices have started dropping. A 10mm is ~3.9ct and the loose gem is < $100 on the first link. The rest is just the cost of the ring. Adding silicon to the carbon makes it slightly softer, but significantly less prone to cracking which was a common failure point.

Regarding OPs original question, it's very hard to verify things online. I'm barely a hobbyist so I can't make recommendations, but be aware a lot of glass is shipped from India. The best you can do is be sure to read reviews and try to do your due difference. A lot of gems can be grown in labs but if you are investing in hardware, you are going to grow diamonds (moissanite) because they have the highest value. If you do opt into a traditional ring, certificates for moissanite are not the same as diamonds. They are closer to receipts to verify what it is, and you typically want to see the certificate id engraved into the stone.

It still seems fucking insane to me to spend 2,5k on a ring but you do you.

It's a piece of jewelry she wears literally every day of her life and she loves it - I'd say we got our money's worth even by now, let alone over the coming decades

Yes, my stone is a full carat because my husband wanted a round number I guess haha. Anyway, it does look rather opulent given our economic status, but I Iike it and it fit his budget.

I honestly can't remember the exact size, but in retrospect it definetely looks a bit gawdy by my usual standards 😅

Find a custom jeweller. I wanted to get my wife’s ring remade after 10 years, and it was far less expensive than I expected. And they can give you great ideas.

I'm gonna chime in to also recommend Etsy. There are a lot of great quality producers and not only craft-table-in-the-corner-hobbyists who sell things on Etsy. That would be the first place I'd look. Etsy product reviews are pretty reliable as well.

I got my wife's ring on etsy. It's pearl and opal, but there are a good bit of jewlers on etsy. I would do a bit of research on the shop before you buy though.

Go to a small local jeweler. They can often make you something custom for much less than the price of a chain store. They'll also be able to walk you through all the options and advantages of each. If you're having trouble finding that little mom and pop spot, Google jewelry repair. 9 out of 10 of those businesses will be more than happy to take on your project.

I also went with moissanite but my extra advice would be to get a ring where the stone is set deeper inside the ring so it doesn't get caught in her hair, fabrics, etc.

Some cities have a jewelry district, and those are very worth going to. The one in downtown Los Angeles is drivable for me, and I've saved huge amounts going there. You can also usually get someone to make something custom for you there that doesn't cost a lot more. I've bought loose gems and had them set a few times and the cost was less than half of a mall jeweler for something much better quality.

Etsy has gotten worse since I got engaged, but that's where my ring is from. We went for sterling silver and it was $150.

I got my wife a Swarovski ring back then because that's what she wanted. Looks just as nice as any diamond ring, unless you really inspect it closely. And they come in all kinds of colors.

Check out moissanite. It's like a diamond, but cheaper, can only be found in 2 places: on meteorites, or grown in a lab. I got my wife's ring on etsy from a jeweler there.

I bought my wife’s ring from Diamondère. She wanted a sapphire and they have a lot of non diamond options.

My wife found an Emerald ring she really liked from more of a boutique style jewelry store owned by a young woman. It had the vibe of a brick-and-mortar Etsy store. We went to a few old school jewelers and hated the experience. It felt like we were being scammed by some slimy diamond dealer.

Any independent jeweler can help you out.

I will say one practical consideration is that diamonds are really hard and don't get scratched. You may want to consider hardness for any replacement gemstone (rubies and sapphires are the next hardest).

Another vote for moissanite. It's gorgeous and strong and not expensive.

Don't look for "engagement ring" if you are looking for ruby or sapphire or emerald, just look for "emerald ring". Also, if you find a stone you like, any jeweler can make it into a nice ring, in a style your fiancee (hopefully) prefers. So don't worry much about the setting. If you love the stone in, say, a pendant, buy that and y'all can have it made into a ring she actually likes later.

Perhaps go on a trip together, somewhere far and strange.

Pick up a ring there, adorn it with memories instead of stones. Asia has a lot of nice gold, no-diamond options. For example, a typical price for a nice gold ring (wedding/engagement type) in Vietnam is about around 400$ a pair (I live in Vietnam). You'll have the choice of many designs.

A friend in grad school made two on a lathe in the machine shop

My wife and I got moissanite from a local jewelry store. 1/10th the cost of diamond and we both think it looks better.

Possibly stupid question but are you just looking online or have you tried going to a jeweler's shop? They should have a variety of non diamond rings and an employee knowledgeable enough to find you something that fits your budget and suits your needs.

When I proposed, I went to a local jeweler and we talked through what kind of stones to use. We went with a beautiful sapphire that has a number of different colors in it.

My wife and I got our rings at a pawn shop. Lots of old and fun rings

Lab grown diamonds are better than real diamonds and come in colors now. They're still kinda expensive tho.

We didn't even go for diamonds for primary stones. My wife's main stone is some blue tanzanite. Mine has some funky pattern to it

Does it have to be an engagement ring? I got my girlfriend a gold bell from Mene to wear with her choker. We talked about it beforehand and we both agreed diamonds and that whole industry are stupid and she loved the bell idea. I'm gonna propose in a week in Japan when we go on vacation.

Another vote for moissanite, I got my wife's engagement ring and wedding band from kobelli.com

I found a nice used mount in need of minor repairs on eBay and found a good moissanite stone there as well. Beautiful ring, around 400 all told for a white gold ring and a 2 carat stone. Can get crazy lab grown gems online of any type, so enjoy however you choose to do rings together.

Just get a tattoo so you can’t lose them. Unless you anticipate a divorce.

Does anyone get married anticipating a divorce?

That's what prenups are for.

You should always get a prenup even if you never ever anticipate getting divorced.

I got married with the belief that marriage is a one-time thing that you do forever. In fact, I did that twice!