So sad

ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 869 points –
94

They probably know they're in the running

Yeah. If you're in the top 10, you definitely have a suspicion.

My gut tells me that top 10 list changes daily. šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€

If someone is eating that much mayo it'd have to be daily, and I think if someone eats mayo daily they'd know they're eating a lot

I love mayo on sandwiches but I rarely finish a jar until a few years past it's best by date.

Follow up question - is this absolute mayo consumption, or does it scale with food intake?

Because I bet there's definitely people out there who eat mayo like pudding for lunch and they would think they're on the short list

But I could see there being someone out there who regularly kills multiple jars of mayo in a sitting by knocking out a huge bowl of chips and dip, but doesn't consciously recognize their alarming daily mayo intake

I could see the #1 being in either group... Some people have a disturbing relationship with condiments, but some people eat terrifying amounts of unhealthy food, and I've seen someone kill a tub of potato salad as a mid interview snack (it was some documentary about people who can no longer fit through their doorways)

They know it

I'd imagine the leader is 2-3 times the consumption of the runner up, but there's no way to tell.

Fact: someone has eaten the most mayonnaise in the world

Cannot be stated as fact: they don't know it

At least they can never be 100% sure that they are.

Because even if you think you are the person who ate the most mayonnaise in the world, there could always be someone that ate more who doesn't know.

Thus noone can ever truly know if they are the person who ate the most mayonnaise in the world.

I totally agree, but we also cannot be 100% sure that they don't know.

Thatā€™s true for Miracle Whip too, and that stuff tastes like goblin cum (or so Iā€™ve heard from a ā€œfriendā€).

You should try Miracle Whip sometime.

Sorry, it was a joke that needed quotes, the ā€œfriendā€ was me. I find it vile and only good as an ingredient in other things like deviled eggs, not as a sandwich condiment itself. I am glad others (like my wife) like it, but [*shivers*]

2 more...

I am afraid to admit that I can finish a sizeable jar of mayo in 2-3 days less sometimes, but I don't do it every week I promise... Please stop calling me out. It's just comfort food I swear

My friend has a story about a coworker who would bring a tub of mayonnaise into work and mix it with tuna and sometimes chickpeas for lunch. He wouldn't finish the tub every day but he would go through a lot of them every month so I think that guy's in the running.

I'm surprised you can survive this for multiple months. The human body is amazing.

Mayonnaise isn't really bad for you. There's a lot of fat in it, but that's totally independent from being fat.

It's more about the absence of most other nutrients, assuming he keeps a similar life style at home.

Also, I'm not sure what the current opinion about eggs and colesterol is. I've heard both sides thousands of times and don't eat them anyways.

Oh they have a pretty good idea. They're currenlty in post-op recovery in a cardiac cath lab getting sternly reprimanded by their doctor that balloon angioplasty can only do so much and this person has to make lifestyle changes or they their heart disease will end their life early.

Well thank you kind sir. This is something I did certainly not want to know. Anyway - pass me the off white jam

I nominate my ex. So many times Iā€™d take a bite then spit it out and be like ā€˜you didnā€™t!ā€™

Yes, she did

Last one was mayo on a fucking McGriddle. Iā€™m still traumatized

Chile and their heart attack inducing hot dogs... and suddenly I want one.

I for one am quite confident itā€™s not me.

I don't trust someone that owns mayonnaise

Do you eat your fries dry??

I definitely don't put mayo on them, reminds me of the horror when I went to Brazil.

The family I was staying with made pizza one day and they brought out some condiments, mayo was one of them and I just assumed they brought everything because who knows what I would like. But then they proceeded to squirt mayo on their slices and I gasped. Luckily I had stashed a bottle of hot sauce from earlier so I used some of that and they were shocked that I would eat 'super spicy' sauce, it was like tobasco so definitely not spicy, I guess everyone is different. We also brought them hot cheetos as a little gift for the kids and they were rinsing their mouths out in the sink. We thought they were just messing around but the kids insisted it was spicy