Have you had any bad experiences with people on Lemmy?

myrrh@iusearchlinux.fyi to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 90 points –

I was recently talking to some friends about Lemmy and the whole Fediverse idea, as it seemed like a really cool part of the Internet. As I was talking about it, though, I realized how unusually friendly this whole place is, and I joked that I "surprisingly haven't found any bigotry."

I'm wondering if anyone has come across that, by any chance. If it's rare, my guess is that even though it's decentralized, each instance has a set of rules and values that are shared throughout the Fediverse, and I'm guessing it's easy to defederate with any seedy communities haha.

87

I'm an admin for a relatively busy instance, so I see all of the bigotry, and there is more of it than I'm comfortable with :\

There's a lot of bigots out there that have moved over from reddit.

I suspect that your instance attracts those sort of person, just trying to rattle someone :(

A little, but most of it isn't even targeted at our users. Lots of the stuff I see is just stuff reported by our users, in communities that have nothing to do with us specifically.

Otherwise ... and I'm essentially quizzing you here, so feel free to ignore me

Do you think lemmy/kbin's relatively poor and insufficient moderation tooling is partly to blame for what you're seeing?

Do you think that the communities based structure make this sort of thing more likely to be bad or problematic?

Do you think lemmy/kbin’s relatively poor and insufficient moderation tooling is partly to blame for what you’re seeing?

Not as such. The moderation tools lead to redundant handling, and make it easy to miss reports you shouldn't miss, and force you to leave reports open so that others don't miss them, but the actual number of reports is more of a cultural thing than anything else.

Do you think that the communities based structure make this sort of thing more likely to be bad or problematic?

So, the microblogging fediverse (which I'll call microfedi) existed for years before twitter crapped the bed. It housed queer folk who had left main stream social media, and those queer folk set the culture and ran the instances. So when twitter happened, even though the culture changed, there was a sufficient mass of existing instances to ensure that bigots remained unwelcome in the mainstream fediverse.

However, when reddit crapped the bed, by comparison, the threadiverse basically didn't have an established culture. There was a handful of lemmy instances (we were one of them), but the only one of notable size was lemmy.ml. kbin didn't even exist in any meaningful way until a couple of months before reddit died.

So, when reddit died, there was no established culture. Instead, people brought reddit culture with them, and reddit culture, because of lax admins, was much more tolerant of hate speech than microfedi. And so, people who are "reddit people" more than "fediverse people" set up lemmy and kbin instances, and brought those reddit norms with them.

So then, you get instances like blahaj and beehaw that are threadiverse instances, but have the "old school" microfedi approach to bigotry. We smash it down hard at the first hint of seeing it, but most of the instances we federate with don't attack it so aggressively.

And thus, on microfedi, much of the work is done by remote admins before I ever see it, but on the threadiverse, it's often just not done by remote admins (unless it's aggressively hateful), and that means I end up seeing a lot of shit, and blocking a lot of users that wouldn't have had a chance to get established in the microfedi universe

Thanks!! And, that all makes a lot of sense.

I’m curious, if you’re willing to answer.

As lemmy.ml and beehaw are older and have closed/application based sign ups … can you tell that there’s less bigotry coming from them?

I've personally been wondering this and wanted to ask you precisely this but didn't because I figured it'd be rude. I hope it's going ok!?

But yea, it unfortunately makes sense that the reddit migration would have brought over more "mainstream" rubbish.

This, plus what's happening over on Threads and the arguments here about the fedipact etc, for me, have seriously raised the prospect that as much of a critique can be leveled at the culture often (and pejoratively) dubbed "HOA" etc, actually being protective of a culture to the point of coming off as "gate keeping" etc has real world value.

I mean, that's the selling point of this instance. We are aggressively protective of the queer community. I explicitly aim to cut the toxicity off at the source rather than forcing each of our users to react to it after they see it. The wall is there to ensure we can exist without having to be on guard all of the time, and the HOA stuff is often driven by people who don't care if we're on guard, or actively want us to feel unsafe

the HOA stuff is often driven by people who don’t care if we’re on guard, or actively want us to feel unsafe

... sighs ... yea

I think @zens / @bri_seven puts it quite well whenever someone tries to describe aspects of the fediverse as inevitable ... they repeatedly say something to the effect that the real danger is the one that tries to convince the victim that the abuser/monster is simply a force of nature that must be accepted.

Just my ranting there ... hope your instances go well and the moderation work isn't too much for you!! And thanks for the response!

The more people, the more bigots in between.

Aww, that's really sad. I love your instance (and I gotta love Blahajs), and it must suck dealing with all the bigotry. Wishing you the best of luck.

Maybe that's why I'm enjoying lemmy more: No access to reports and removed comments.

It's interesting, we've got blahaj.zone itself, and even though it doesn't have as many users as our lemmy instance, we're lucky if we see a report every couple of days over there.

The microblogging fediverse is more aggressively opposed to queerphobic bigots I think, so they never get a chance to take root over there, but here on the threadiverse, lots of them fly under the radar of admins that aren't the targets of their bigotry

lots of them fly under the radar of admins that aren’t the targets of their bigotry

General note: as a mod and admin who may not know what to look for, please flag these posts and comments so that we can review.

So honest question.

Lets say someone comes along and says "Woman are adult human females". A trans person reports this and tells you that it's a dog whistle, and the person saying that is a TERF.

What would you do?

This is a question that would makes me feel out of my depth as a moderator. My first thought would be to see if there's a community where I could fnid help in how to handle this appropriately.

And that's kind of what I mean.

To any trans person, that phrase is a klaxon. It's an alarm bell that tells us the person we're talking to is actively transphobic.

So we report it, the mod or admin who isn't trans feels out of their depth, the trans person doesn't have the spoons to explain it, and the transphobe stays in place, now empowered to keep their transphobia going, as long as they keep it at the level where most admins and mods don't recognise it.

And that's what the threadiverse feels like now.

But on microfedi, there is a much greater awareness of these things, and someone saying that would be dropped or defederated from most instances very quickly

Yes, this.

As the sole admin on a [very] small instance I've seen had no reports, and the only thread that I did see getting toxic it was shut down by both the users and then the mods.

I guess, mostly sub'd to tech type communities there is less opportunity for open hatred.

@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone, is there a good community like r/twoxchromosomes that doesn't mind a [almost] 50 y/o straight guy lurking?

A comment on my other account got brigaded by tankies a while ago. Was told to "fuck off, liberal"

But then that guy got banned from the instance, and everything was good.

Hi, I'm not in in the know. What's a tankie? Pardon my ignorance.

Short version? Mix and match the following:

  • Pro Xi Jinping
  • Pro Joseph Stalin
  • Pro Mao
  • Pro use of tanks against civilians as in Tiananmen Square in 1989 or Hungary in 1956.
  • Pro Vladimir Putin

Basically a tankie is any apologists for government violence against civilians -- usually by claiming something like, "those weren't real civilians. That was a color revolution. The government of [authoritarian regime] responded with no more than the necessary amount of force. Western propaganda is making it look more violent than it was in reality."

From Wikipedia

The term "tankie" was originally used by dissident Marxist–Leninists to describe members of the Communist Party of Great Britain (CPGB) who followed the party line of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (CPSU). Specifically, it was used to distinguish party members who spoke out in defense of the Soviet use of tanks to crush the Hungarian Revolution of 1956 and the 1968 Prague Spring uprising, or who more broadly adhered to pro-Soviet positions.

Thanks. Did not know that. So tankie is short for military tank. I get it.

the leftist equivalent of an alt-right person i guess

Yeah theres a few too many genocide apologists hanging around, but (just to spite them) i dont want them to be banned. Its better they stay here and see the light

Yeah if they're banned then they'll go back to their bubble saying they're being silenced, but how can you silence someone who's not contributing to the conversation?... I'm fine with different opinions, but I don't understand people who think the way to convince someone of your viewpoint is hostility. Telling someone to "fuck off" with no reason is just toxic. Once might be a bad mood/state of mind (happens to the best of us), but repeat offenders shouldn't be allowed to keep harassing others.

Perspective. That comment says more about a person who cant concieve of a logical rebuttal than it says about me. I dont want to live on sesame street. That said, those comments get old reeeeal fast

I think everyone I've encountered has been very polite. Well, except the one person who said my crochet project looked like Chewbacca shit. Jokes on them - i didn't buy the wookie yarn; i bought the Groot yarn and they just can't tell the difference.

Yes, I discussed with an andrew tate fan that asked "why do people get angry when I don't respect pronouns of trans people" or something to that effect, a real shit stain but I think he got banned after a few hours

Deleting the thread out from under you is usually bad behaviour, but in the one instance it happened to me the chap was entirely right to do so - he'd left his exif location data in the image. Still, the hedgehog pic was good enough to be posted again, which I did.

Political stuff is as enflamed as ever. I'll take the beans over that any day.

I've seen a few people, here and there, trying to test the limits and finding very quickly that they're not going to get very far.

There's this one commie user who I always end up getting into an argument with. I don't mind though because they actually seem to be intelligent and I like to hear what they have to say.

Ooooohh we've got plenty. lol

One thing about the Fediverse is its a little less "singular" so to speak. People spread out a little more, and you get fewer bigger places where a whole lot of people mingle.

The fascist kids and the tankie kids both have Instances of their own, fairly heavily defederated with a lot of the rest. They're about as pleasant as you'd expect.

I posted a dumb meme about my power going out and my neighbors using the car for AC, and I had some guy screaming at me that I was lying about my power going out because they couldn't find it on the internet, then when I posted a screenshot of my app that shows my power outages, they started screaming that I was a toxic person for not inviting them in my house. When I pointed out the irony of them being toxic, they essentially said it's different when they do it because it's online, but I'm toxic in person, which somehow makes me worse.

Even though it was just a fucking meme in the first place. The power did go out, but no one was dying in the streets or anything.

Oh, and then someone posted a picture in a comment of someone taking a shit on someone else.

There is plenty of rudeness, hostility, and general toxicity and bigotry to go around. But there is also a lot of kindness, thoughtful consideration, and people who want to do the best for the platform and communities forming here.

I feel like the amount of more challenging or unwanted behaviour has gone up just in the time I've been here (hopefully not because of me!). From hardly seeing much of that in the first week or so, to then gradually seeing more and more as presumably more people move over from Reddit.

Be interesting to see how instances and communities respond, and if a more firm line will be drawn.

I feel like the amount of more challenging or unwanted behaviour has gone up just in the time I’ve been here

I see that too, but I attribute that to the growing number of users here. It's an unavoidable part of growth, sadly.

Absolutely! I think it will be good to keep an eye how users, communities and the mods and admins of different instances respond - because where the line is drawn or isn't, or when people stay silent on important issues happening on their servers or in their communities can speak volumes. (I'm not saying I have seen anything like this yet, not implying anything - just interested to see how things will unfold over time and hopeful for the future!)

So far so good, I see less toxicity than on big social media. I guess there are not enough people yet, I see mostly enthusiasts who are excited that they're building something new. Perhaps because of that the probability of seeing or getting some unpleasant comments is lower. But I'm also quite picky in what posts I read, something related to Elon Musk or Threads doesn't interest me.

If you don’t hate Twitter, Reddit, Threads you must love them and are the enemy.

Lots of us vs them hate on this platform like many others. You arnt allowed to have a nuanced opinion or conversation about some things.

You will find this type of people everywhere on social media.

I use Tildes and is this kind of place people circle jerk how smart and insightful they are using comments. One user had this long threaded comments and I just disagree at the end, he was so pissed. Second time it was with a Redditor coming with the same toxic echo chamber bs bringing to Tildes, my conclusion many redditors are toxic users that will spoil anywhere.

Don't get me started with Hacker News.

Yeah, seems to be quite comment :/ People online be like that, guess that's just how it is

I stay away from the politics related communities. A bunch of people from r/Politics migrated to Lemmy and I’ve received death threats for having the wrong political opinions.

2 idiots got into a "u.no u" fight on one of my threads that escalated into them brigading each other. Even the block feature didn't work for a while.

Yeah, I got into an exchange the other day where a dozen users made a point of telling me why they support using misogynistic slurs, or how the slur isn't any worse than other impolite words, or how it isn't really misogynistic, or how it's okay when used against evil people.

It was real disappointing, and I'm strongly considering unsubbing the community where the thread took place.

There are toxic instances and users, but the communities have done a good job of staying focused on staying on topic. So not really any people going off on some personal unrelated tangent screaming on their soap box.

Like the game based communities have focused on talking about games. I've usually avoided and filtered communities that tend to get rather argumentative like politics, and I don't expect it to be any different in that department here from reddit.

My reddit experience was nice too because I stuck to my subscribed feeds and filtered lot of stuff out. Argumentative communities will always be that way regardless of where it exists and there is nothing wrong with that because it is on topic for why it exists . It's an easy unsub and block if I want to avoid it.

I just hope some keyword filtering gets built in soon so browsing /c/all is easier to discover new communities I'm interested in without being cluttered by the ones I'm not interested in. Back on reddit my filtering list was useful, since it led to making /r/all a pleasant one where it was mostly filled with dnd or anime or star wars stuff as opposed to the default politics, Twitter/tiktok/Facebook reposts, and fight and gore clips that dominate it by default.

i have seen few, but none had interaction with me.

Same. I've seen only a few, but thankfully no one's been a douche to me (yet? Pls don't start lol). I'd imagine there are tons I haven't seen yet. When people moved from reddit, it wasn't exclusively just the good parts that came over. In my experience, though, it's a lot less than in reddit.

no one’s been a douche to me (yet? Pls don’t start lol).

too bad, go to hell 😈

just kidding, happy to hear you're having a good experience!

Nah so far so good. But I haven't seen any topic warranting it. Well, not that warranting or not was the reason for it on Reddit, some people are just out to shittalk.

So far, I haven’t encountered anything super negative. Everyone on the instance I picked as my “home” has been extremely friendly. Because of that, I usually just check local activity.

I do, occasionally, check all instances. Even what I see is mostly friendly.

I’ve been lucky, I guess.

It’s not really surprising people are having problems with people on lemmy. For the first time in at least a decade we are in the Wild Wild West of a part of the internet. Things haven’t normalized themselves yet so shit is weird and sometimes unpleasant.

I haven't had a really bad experience yet. There was one guy who seemed to be making some kind of racist point but that's about it.

Jeez, lots of comments to look through! I'll definitely take a peek some more but a pattern that I've noticed from the few comments I've skimmed through is that it seems like a lot of toxic people do show up, it's just that individual instances are good at removing them.

I also haven't been on Lemmy as much as I was on Reddit before I left, and I'm on a fairly small instance, so I guess that explains the lack of bigotry in my feed haha.

I received a couple of "fucking racist" from a person because I said in a post that immigration to rich countries should be controlled i.e. borders cannot just be opened and let everyone move anywhere, or else their economy and social situation could be affected

Plenty, since the overwhelming majority of it is a massive leftist circle jerk that isn't fond of people dissenting.

You are confused. What you are doing isn't "dissenting" so much as it's spouting absolute bullocks. You are doing the online equivalent of smearing your shit on the walls because you once heard someone else say that's a valid form of expression.

You keep posting the same ignorant bullshit over and over again, even after people explain just how ignorant your logic really is.

You can only claim "leftist brigading" when you are able to respond to your critics with verifiable facts to support your position. Until then, you are talking absolute bullshit.

Lmao talk about verifiable facts when you losers aren't just spouting whatever unhinged garbage your propaganda networks feed you

Personally I prefer a bit of conflict as it encourages discussion and alternate opinions. The discussions are pretty short when everyone agrees.

This place is the most elitist/arrogant place i seen, even worse than reddit. Especially it could be seen during recent discussion about threads/facebook.