The transition from the holiday season back to the normal drudgery is so depressing. Is there any way to make Jan / Feb less depressing?

_number8_@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 305 points –

like, it's still dark at 5pm, there are barely any sports on, still bitterly cold and austere and it hurts to go outside, but you're not even looking forward to christmas or the new year. the new year is here, and it's largely the same as last year. except you're getting older.

85

Happiness, excitement and anticipation are cycles. In order to experience them again to their full, you must allow them to fade for awhile. Trying to hold onto them for too long is causing you more grief than the actual lack of them in the moment.

Take a moment to breathe, and appreciate where you are, what you have, and who you've shared it with, before you rush onward.

You could do what they do in colder places and buy brightly colored stuff for your place. It’ll still be dark outside but at least the inside will look cheerier.

You could also try planning some beginning of the year parties with friends. That would certainly give you events to look forward to.

It's also a great time to focus on health and well-being. I usually try to read and exercise more at the beginning of the year, sometimes long term habits form out of it, sometimes not. But it does help me feel better about the dreariness of the new year.

It's not the best strategy, but if your holiday season is just a giant mess of chaos and stress the return to a normal schedule can be very welcome.

Yeah I was going to say, soulless drudgery sounds like a release at this point.

We’re past the winter solstice. Take note of the sun setting a bit earlier each day. That always gives me a boost because I can look at my phone and see that condition improving. Good luck!

You mean setting later each day?

It’s getting lighter in the evenings already!

That makes sense. I was like "fucking vampires!"

Celebrating the quarter and cross quarter days can work for atheists, science fans and Pagans alike. You get a holiday every month and a half. You can simply celebrate the changing of seasons/Earth's relative position to the Sun or get all magick with it, as you like. The quarter days are the solstices and equinoxes, the cross quarter days are the points in between. Halloween (Samhain) and May Day (Beltane) are the famous cross quarter days, but they happen in winter (Imbolc, Feb 1- also known as Groundhog Day) and summer (Lammas/Lunasa, Aug1).

https://www.almanac.com/quarter-days-and-cross-quarter-days

Don't take down your Christmas lights (inside at least). Make hot chocolate at home, create rituals for yourself

The holidays are a drain and I'm grateful they're over with. We've got better things we could be doing.

This is me as well. The stress of the holidays brings me to the brink of collapse until I get to go back to normalcy again. I hate December.

ABP…. Means, Always Be Planning.

Plan for the next vacation, and do it before the end of the current one. I don’t mean just talk about it. Set some plans, put down deposits, whatever.

This method works well for me. Having something to look forward to is always a good thing. I try to schedule some kind of small trip or event every month.

I don't know where you're at, but I take a weekly trip to a greenhouse. I'm not a plant person unless they're plastic, but it really does give a nice vitamin D boost and the smells are usually amazing. Take a stroll, many of them have benches where you can sit and contemplate. Mine even does a Sunday yoga class that you can watch or join. It gets me through the doldrums.

I moved to Edmonton, AB from the US South and holy crap, the darkness is unreal. Even the locals struggle with this pitch-black 4pm nonsense.

That said, the city has a lot of focus on indoor spaces that really saves it. I used to go to West Ed mall just to walk around somewhere without a coat for free, you know?

The real gem of the city is the Muttart Conservatory though - and a year-long pass is like $30?? For an indoor rainforest??

Makes it worth living in the winter.

Trips to greenhouses and conservatories are a great idea for a good number of reasons. However, don't read the rest of this if you don't want any spoilers.

::: spoiler spoiler Greenhouses, in general, may not be a very reliable way to get a nice vitamin D boost. I'll spare you the details, but most of the covering materials specifically developed for greenhouse use will significantly reduce or outright block UV light. You may still get some limited UV exposure, but you wouldn't want to go into that situation with the expectation of getting a nice boost in vitamin D from it. :::

Taking down my Yule decor, setting up for Imbolc!

Yes! This is the true solution to the holiday blues (and may other problems). Become Pagan. Our celebrations are 13 + 8 every year, plus multiple life events and "because I want to" times.

Re:depression/ing

Highly recommend bright light therapy the moment you wake up or at the desired wakeup time. I can't imagine what it must be like for those unaware of these things, the darkness would have me on the brink

Imma do a second "dose" right now, the alternative reality makes me shudder

Adding onto this, I recommend a sunrise alarm. I wake up at 5 am every morning and it makes the transition from sleep much jarring.

I wear a sleep mask so it never really helped me all that much even though I have one and experimented with it. I'll never dispose of it but it more or less collects dust

Interesting! Do you find the mask makes a big difference? I just read about them and was giving it some thought.

Hell ya. Can't sleep without it

Just wanted to report back that you have changed my life. I sleep like a goddamn baby with my new sleep mask. Thanks!

Glad its working for ya. I always thought it was strange how much emphasis is placed on having a hermetically-sealed dark room for sleep when its like, just get a good sleeping mask and literally rest your eyes

I tried the sleep mask and earplugs because that's what they say helps but sleep me just takes it all off cause I have some weird sensory issues. I need some blackout curtains :(

Can you elaborate? I’ve seen these, I’ve seen what they’re “supposed” to do, but can you explain from your personal POV how it helps you, if that makes sense?

It does a few things but it basically entrains your circadian rhythms that mediate wakefulness and sleep. I'm no scientist but they are helpful for both insomnia and depression (particularly SAD) and I find it to be an indispensible part of my morning routine in waking me up and orienting me and fixing my sleep to a proper schedule.

And the light is important in the winter anyway because of the dreariness and darkness but I can't justify why

Thank you! It sounds like one of these would be very helpful for me. I’m a night owl who works in a 9-5 world, and waking up in the morning is a huge mix of depression and anxiety even if I’ve gotten 6-7 hours of sleep or so.

Dude, try it. They sometimes have em at Costco or you can get the glasses if you want freedom of movement while using it

Oh nice! Did you talk to a doctor about it or anything first, or did you just decide to give it a go one day and liked the results?

So many times this. I love my light box. It keeps me sane.

Organize events with friends. Half or our weekends are books with 5 to 10 people coming home. We play boardgame and eat far to much cheese.

What are you talking about? Christmas isn't even over yet; we're currently on day 9 of 12. Keep celebrating!

Can i interest you in rugby. The six nations starts on Feb 2nd. It's a godsend in an otherwise grim time of year.

If you live somewhere with a good variety of different cultures, most of them probably have an association of some kind, which often host events that let them share their holidays and traditions with the larger population. Try to track down their local event calendars and show up whenever you can. I live in a medium sized city with decent sized Hispanic, Indian, Vietnamese, and Native American populations, and between the lot of them there's ALWAYS something going on - and for me personally, 99% of it is stuff I've never even heard of, so it's a completely new experience every time (vs trying to drag out the more familiar holiday feels by leaving the xmas lights up until March lol).

Lol you are absolutely right! Some Indians have a major holiday coming up in 15 days. It is based on rice harvest. Its a whole shebang for 3 days.

How do you celebrate those without friends to invite you? Are these public events?

Look up the cultural practice / philosophy of “hygge” it’s basically meant to answer this (but extends beyond just winter months too).

We often take a small vacation about January and go someplace warm.

I am not a morning person, but force myself to get up and go to work at 7 to maximize my daylight hours.

I have also found that bright lights help. The light bulbs in our house are bright. At work I have a lamp on my desk with three led bulbs (3 bulb adapter and slightly bigger shade). I got the idea from a podcaster that has 2 lamps on his desk for winter.

You can also get a light box/mood lamp. They help produce vitamin D and alleviate seasonal depression.

I take my time putting up Christmas (as others mentioned the season traditionally lasts until Epiphany (Jan 6), and some traditions don’t even celebrate it until that day.) usually somewhere between the first nutcracker and last ornament I transition from missing Christmas to looking forward to being done with it.

Then I transition that into “spring cleaning”. I clean out the attic before moving the Christmas boxes back into storage, and tackle other areas that accumulated junk and boxes over the past year.

Like a lot of people, I also like to try something new or different. It can be as simple as a new tv show or streaming service, new author, new video game, or a new recipe, new hobby, etc. maybe go to the movies a few times or eat out somewhere special.

I second the cleaning. It can be super satisfying.

Go blackout drunk for 347 days straight and voila, it's Christmas again!

Make your own holiday, see a therapist, find a new hobby or something you enjoy watching other than sports, read a book? Just a few ideas.

I look forward to this part of the year because it's when winter sports begin. I don't know if you're somewhere you can take advantage of the weather and ski/curl/skate. If you are, do it. It's a blast.

There are barely any sports on? Hockey is on nearly every single day. Football playoffs start in two weeks. College championship is next Monday. NBA is on if you're desperate. If you're not American get yourself a VPN and watch anyway!

There's also one of the most interesting title races in years in the English Premier League (football/soccer).

Plus the amazing exploits of young Luke Littler at the darts World Championship - only 16 and into the final having beaten some serious players already.

That's said, I'm interested in those and the NFL, and like OP, I still find this time of year deeply depressing and hard to cope with.

Besides everything else, Martin Luther King gave us a sorely-needed January holiday. If you want to do it right, make plans to do something selfless that day. It might even lead to you continuing to do that thing or work with that group, and exercise those human kindness muscles, developing the content of your character. Or it might just be the once, and that's okay. Or maybe the best you can muster is to raise a glass and thank Martin for the 3-day weekend. It's still something to get your head past this slump. By Groundhog Day you'll be seeing that little bit more daylight that brings hope.

Going on a trip in February/March somewhere warm and sunny helps a fuck ton. It's honestly worth the few grand to go to an all inclusive resort and have nothing to think about and have all your needs met while you take a dip in the sea.

That or cannabis. I've started taking CBD+THC oils before bed and it helps mellow me out and stabilize me.

Where you headed. Need some ideas

I've been to Cuba, Martinique and Cancun.

I stayed at an all inclusive in Varadero, Cuba and I really liked it. The beaches are absolutely gorgeous there. The resorts are pretty nice with lots of activities. You can also do some sightseeing around Cuba with organized tours. There's lots of good rum and great cigars. However, you don't eat well in Cuba. They don't have a lot of food and whatever good food they have, they serve at the resorts which says a lot about what they have. The people are poor and if you have any degree of sympathy, you'll feel bad for them the whole time you're there. And they remind you how poor they are all the time.

In Cancun, Mexico you have to pick the right place or you'll get a beach full of rocks. I stayed in the hotel zone at Sandos and the beach was gorgeous. The food was great! Lots of activities and animation and shows. There's less sightseeing though. And the food on site is pretty American in flavor. If you're a bit more adventurous, you can take the public bus for super cheap to go into Cancun city in the evening and they have a park, the Parque de las palapas, where they have tons of street food. You'll eat amazing Mexican Street food for amazingly cheap. Even if they charge you the gringo price. There's also a shopping mall in the hotel zone which is huge if you want to do any shopping. Honestly this was my best experience in an all inclusive resort.

Martinique is a French territory. If you don't speak French, you'll have a difficult time there. Otherwise, Martinique is a god damn jewel. I've never seen beaches as gorgeous as what's there. It's a real life paradise. I spent time there doing a bit of a road trip across the island. We visited multiple beaches and stayed in hotels and Airbnbs with hosts. They have the best rum I've ever tasted and there are plenty of distilleries you can visit. There are a lot of boats you can take with a group to more remote locations to do some snorkeling, but many of the beaches in general are already great. The food there is fucking fantastic! The French being big on cuisine really had a big influence there. The Creole food and seafood is out of this world. Accompanied with great wine and rum to boot. This was one of my best trips honestly.

This year we'll be going to Panama. I haven't found a good resort yet that has a good beach. And they're all far from any airport or city so not very accessible. I don't really know what to expect there. I'm going with an open mind and we'll see what happens.

Appreciate the detailed answer, some good shouts here!!

I'd try to stay away from all inclusive resorts. You'll meet more interresting people, you'll get help on how to get around and find food. Bocas des Toro is a nice area.

Oh for sure. But sometimes you just want to be pampered and not have to think about anything and just rest.

Maybe see if there are some esports you like if more traditional ones are unavailable at this time. There are also things like chess tournaments if you aren't really into video games.

Well for some of us the opposite is true. My family is somewhat disconnected sand festering their resentments toward each other, so the holidays being over for me is like being able to breathe again! Lights down everyone!!!!

This goes for any holiday.

Don’t get so excited about the end of the year?