Just break up already. Creating a tiny extra human is not going to magically fix all of your issues.
... of course that would create a paradox in which I was never born, hence not able to give her that advice ... but seriously, the only reason I exist is because my mother didn't want my dad to leave her, which is simply a shitty reason to become pregnant.
Throw a couple Apple shares in a college fund for me.
Yay yours isn't sad!
Don’t.
"Don't have kids."
If you want your children to engage in a certain behavior, you have to actively model that behavior. A kid isn't going to do the thing if they never see you doing the thing, no matter how much you call them out on not doing the thing.
Don’t wait for me to graduate high school to get divorced. Just do it.
If you guys ever have kids, and one of them, when he's eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.
Marty... what a nice name.
Validate your child's feelings. Let them know that you understand that they are scared and that it is ok to be scared.
You have ADHD and your kids probably will too.
Physical punishment is traumatic, unhelpful and builds resentment.
Jumping on the "get a fucking divorce" train and adding "stop buying prepackaged overprocessed food, feed me some damn vegetables, and stop giving me so much goddamn sugar"
How about instead of cheating on my mom, teach me how to talk to girls.... and don't cheat on my mom lol
Yep, know the pain... dad didn't cheat on mom, but he still didn't teach me anything... about anything really... and now, I'm paying for it in a shitty marriage.
Well, at least I know I won't make the same mistake with my son.
Lay off the legal and illegal drugs, seriously. No, hiding them in a drawer isn’t baby proofing.
Children’s medications aren’t scams, they have different doses for a reason (the reason is usually risk of overdose).
Yelling and beating a child isn’t discipline and the southern Baptist church is a terrible place to take kids.
I worked through a lot of this in therapy, but it still annoys me that I had better risk management in my teens than my parents did in their 30s.
Children’s medications aren’t scams, they have different doses for a reason (the reason is usually risk of overdose).
This will obviously very from med to med, but most stuff over the counter will be exactly the same for adults and children, just with instructions for children to take less.
For example, both children's and adult's liquid acetaminophen (paracetamol) are sold in the US at a strength of 160mg/5mL, and they will both have the same instructions for children under 2, children 2-11, and people 12+
I'll jump on the "just don't" train. Like serious try again some other time but just abort this one
Don’t impose your religion on your kids or you’ll just drive them away and you’ll never get to know them as adults before the cancer kills you.
I could write a novel here honestly but I'll keep it a bit brief:
Don't ask your toddler which parent they'll go with if you 2 get a divorce. If you don't love your partner you should get a divorce. Joint custody is a thing.
Don't "stay together for the kids" you will only cause them more mental harm in the long run.
Don't make your young children have to be the most mature person in the room. They should be allowed to be a kid.
Be at least somewhat involved in your kids lives, if you're not don't be surprised when they don't choose to involve you in their lives as they get older.
This resonates 💔
Say you love me... sometimes it's hard to tell
Don't provide your 12 year old cigarettes, weed and booze .
I know you have my life mapped out, because as someone who desperately wants kids, it's impossible not to do that. But don't assume a kid is going to follow that plan. Some kids are gay. You both handled that news really, really well, but for real, why did you have to assume I was straight to begin with? I wish I could have told you when I was 14, but I had to deal with not being the thing you thought I was. As a result, I'm 32 and still don't have kids, because I got a really late start on the whole dating someone thing, and I've still never brought anyone home. It's not your fault, but next go round, try not to box your kids the way you were boxed in.
Also, Mama. Leave his ass. Do not marry him. It doesn't matter how upset Grandmama will be, she'll get over it. Just tell her you love her, and go raise that baby alone.
Dear future parents, don't bring me into this fucking world!!!
Don't
Don't have kids, ever.
Don't tell me to mindfuck bullies cuz they're dumb as fuck and didn't understand anything I said, but continued to beat me up!
Right? Intelligence only works on the intelligent. Ass kickings work on EVERYONE.
Exactly.
I settled the problem the old fashioned way, the didn't bother me any more once I put up a fight.
Right? Intelligence only works on the intelligent.
This is something a nerd that gets beat up would say 🤣
🤷🏻♂️
Be kind, be patient, and understand that getting violent and aggressive your child isn't discipline or parenting, it's just abuse.
Don't force your child to play mind games with their other parent or try forcing them to read out loud their entire text message history or explain their entire conversation they had with their other parent.
Don't force them to lie to their other parent but also try and force them to tell you every lie the other parent made.
Don't yell and scream at them or act pouty and manipulative when they say "No".
If you have a problem with your partner take it with then directly, if its not fixable then don't be together. Just please don't use your child to manipulate your partner into depression or anger and force your kid to "choose a side", it'll make them resent you both.
i'm sorry to read that you had to go through that
No form of abuse, dealt with it enough from bullies at school.
Encourage me to participate in a sport, or art, science projects or ANYTHING that will prevent me from becoming a depressed pos.
Go to therapy for your trauma instead of passing it on to me.
Don't die.
I can't fault my mom for falling apart when my dad died but it did mess us up, she withdrew and was lost and stupid for years after, and never really got her mind all back. I was 16 and got kicked out at 17, the other kids got more years of that. But all of us are ok now, and again, I really can't blame her.
Nothing else really, she wasn't a motherly kind of mom but never felt neglected or like she was not trying her best.
I wouldn't tell them anything. Any changes they made to how I was raised would fundamentally change who and where I am now. While growing up was torture in many ways, it led me here, and I'm really happy with where I am now.
Not everyone is happy with where they are now so I think this question is targeted more toward those people
no yelling
I'm going to be a challenge. Please be patient with me, and with each other.
Buy FAANG Stock. Buy Bitcoin early on. Not crazy amounts but if they had some extra money I think their lives would have been a little easier.
Mom, don't sacrifice your retirement savings to keep our lifestyle the same. It's not more important than struggling so hard in your retirement years. Your kids will get used to living with less, we'll get over any sadness we feel over it, as long as we're together.
Also, you have a bad case of sunk cost fallacy. You're going to lose the house over it.
Dad, if you run away from your kids when it gets tough, they are going to be traumatized, and it will come back to bite you when you're older. Your son especially will want nothing to do with you. Your last years will be lonely enough, don't abandon the only people who will be there for you.
Maybe the problem is you and not the other people or the place or the employer. Get therapy
When your kid is bored with its input, it's okay to take it serious and see that it gets more/better input.
"Tough it out" is not good advice, no matter in what form it comes.
Children's tears are not an act. Not if it's a girl either. Check your bias.
Just because it didn't kill you, does not mean you have to do it to your kid.
Dear mom, run! Divorce! I'd still like to be alive and stuff, but you don't deserve this and neither do we.
work smarter not harder
my dad was an immigrant (technically so was I but I was brought here at a young age) and didn't speak the language. so he did manual labor jobs for a long time until he felt confident enough to try his luck at his own business. now he works much less and makes much more.
leave the manual labor for the people who can't do anything else. if you have skills, put them to use
Who can't do anything else? That's pretty demeaning and rude
everybody can't be a doctor or lawyer. you need someone to clean toilets, dig holes, and carry cement.
some people don't have the capacity or the willingness to do anything else. i work in the underground construction industry. there are a lot of illegals working digging holes and they're perfectly happy with it. they can't speak english, they can't work a computer, and they don't want to learn.
nothing wrong with it. other people, however, move up quickly. there was a girl we hired fresh off the boat. couldn't speak english and started off essentially digging holes for $1000 a week. she was sharp minded, however, and quickly started helping with the administrative tasks on the job sites. we gave her a raise and a promotion to crew supervisor. we gave her a laptop, she learned english quickly and eventually became a foreman and by the time she left us about 2 years later, she was making nearly 3x her original salary. she updated a lot of the systems we had and created daily reports for our clients. something we weren't doing - she just thought of it and it was a big benefit to us.
she ended up leaving to join someone else starting up their own company. she was able to get a big picture vision of the operation. some people cannot see past their job role
we have people that have been digging holes for us for the better part of a decade. they get paid their wage, they pay their bills, and when they get home they drink their beers and are happy.
it's just the way it is. nothing wrong with it. i think it's rude and demeaning to try and imply these people need to somehow get a better position or move forwards.
all i'm saying is if you're in a position where you can do more, do more. you'll get paid better and work less. and you'll find it's like an upward spiral. the more you do, the more things you'll be given the opportunity to do. then you can leverage that into better opportunities
GO TO THERAPY YOU TRAUMATIC FUCKS
Just break up already. Creating a tiny extra human is not going to magically fix all of your issues.
... of course that would create a paradox in which I was never born, hence not able to give her that advice ... but seriously, the only reason I exist is because my mother didn't want my dad to leave her, which is simply a shitty reason to become pregnant.
Throw a couple Apple shares in a college fund for me.
Yay yours isn't sad!
Don’t.
"Don't have kids."
If you want your children to engage in a certain behavior, you have to actively model that behavior. A kid isn't going to do the thing if they never see you doing the thing, no matter how much you call them out on not doing the thing.
Don’t wait for me to graduate high school to get divorced. Just do it.
If you guys ever have kids, and one of them, when he's eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.
Marty... what a nice name.
Validate your child's feelings. Let them know that you understand that they are scared and that it is ok to be scared.
You have ADHD and your kids probably will too.
Physical punishment is traumatic, unhelpful and builds resentment.
Jumping on the "get a fucking divorce" train and adding "stop buying prepackaged overprocessed food, feed me some damn vegetables, and stop giving me so much goddamn sugar"
How about instead of cheating on my mom, teach me how to talk to girls.... and don't cheat on my mom lol
Yep, know the pain... dad didn't cheat on mom, but he still didn't teach me anything... about anything really... and now, I'm paying for it in a shitty marriage.
Well, at least I know I won't make the same mistake with my son.
Lay off the legal and illegal drugs, seriously. No, hiding them in a drawer isn’t baby proofing.
Children’s medications aren’t scams, they have different doses for a reason (the reason is usually risk of overdose).
Yelling and beating a child isn’t discipline and the southern Baptist church is a terrible place to take kids.
I worked through a lot of this in therapy, but it still annoys me that I had better risk management in my teens than my parents did in their 30s.
This will obviously very from med to med, but most stuff over the counter will be exactly the same for adults and children, just with instructions for children to take less.
For example, both children's and adult's liquid acetaminophen (paracetamol) are sold in the US at a strength of 160mg/5mL, and they will both have the same instructions for children under 2, children 2-11, and people 12+
I'll jump on the "just don't" train. Like serious try again some other time but just abort this one
Don’t impose your religion on your kids or you’ll just drive them away and you’ll never get to know them as adults before the cancer kills you.
I could write a novel here honestly but I'll keep it a bit brief:
Don't ask your toddler which parent they'll go with if you 2 get a divorce. If you don't love your partner you should get a divorce. Joint custody is a thing.
Don't "stay together for the kids" you will only cause them more mental harm in the long run.
Don't make your young children have to be the most mature person in the room. They should be allowed to be a kid.
Be at least somewhat involved in your kids lives, if you're not don't be surprised when they don't choose to involve you in their lives as they get older.
This resonates 💔
Say you love me... sometimes it's hard to tell
Don't provide your 12 year old cigarettes, weed and booze .
I know you have my life mapped out, because as someone who desperately wants kids, it's impossible not to do that. But don't assume a kid is going to follow that plan. Some kids are gay. You both handled that news really, really well, but for real, why did you have to assume I was straight to begin with? I wish I could have told you when I was 14, but I had to deal with not being the thing you thought I was. As a result, I'm 32 and still don't have kids, because I got a really late start on the whole dating someone thing, and I've still never brought anyone home. It's not your fault, but next go round, try not to box your kids the way you were boxed in.
Also, Mama. Leave his ass. Do not marry him. It doesn't matter how upset Grandmama will be, she'll get over it. Just tell her you love her, and go raise that baby alone.
Dear future parents, don't bring me into this fucking world!!!
Don't
Don't have kids, ever.
Don't tell me to mindfuck bullies cuz they're dumb as fuck and didn't understand anything I said, but continued to beat me up!
Right? Intelligence only works on the intelligent. Ass kickings work on EVERYONE.
Exactly.
I settled the problem the old fashioned way, the didn't bother me any more once I put up a fight.
This is something a nerd that gets beat up would say 🤣
🤷🏻♂️
Be kind, be patient, and understand that getting violent and aggressive your child isn't discipline or parenting, it's just abuse.
Don't force your child to play mind games with their other parent or try forcing them to read out loud their entire text message history or explain their entire conversation they had with their other parent.
Don't force them to lie to their other parent but also try and force them to tell you every lie the other parent made.
Don't yell and scream at them or act pouty and manipulative when they say "No".
If you have a problem with your partner take it with then directly, if its not fixable then don't be together. Just please don't use your child to manipulate your partner into depression or anger and force your kid to "choose a side", it'll make them resent you both.
i'm sorry to read that you had to go through that
No form of abuse, dealt with it enough from bullies at school.
Encourage me to participate in a sport, or art, science projects or ANYTHING that will prevent me from becoming a depressed pos.
Go to therapy for your trauma instead of passing it on to me.
Don't die.
I can't fault my mom for falling apart when my dad died but it did mess us up, she withdrew and was lost and stupid for years after, and never really got her mind all back. I was 16 and got kicked out at 17, the other kids got more years of that. But all of us are ok now, and again, I really can't blame her.
Nothing else really, she wasn't a motherly kind of mom but never felt neglected or like she was not trying her best.
I wouldn't tell them anything. Any changes they made to how I was raised would fundamentally change who and where I am now. While growing up was torture in many ways, it led me here, and I'm really happy with where I am now.
Not everyone is happy with where they are now so I think this question is targeted more toward those people
no yelling
I'm going to be a challenge. Please be patient with me, and with each other.
Buy FAANG Stock. Buy Bitcoin early on. Not crazy amounts but if they had some extra money I think their lives would have been a little easier.
Mom, don't sacrifice your retirement savings to keep our lifestyle the same. It's not more important than struggling so hard in your retirement years. Your kids will get used to living with less, we'll get over any sadness we feel over it, as long as we're together.
Also, you have a bad case of sunk cost fallacy. You're going to lose the house over it.
Dad, if you run away from your kids when it gets tough, they are going to be traumatized, and it will come back to bite you when you're older. Your son especially will want nothing to do with you. Your last years will be lonely enough, don't abandon the only people who will be there for you.
Maybe the problem is you and not the other people or the place or the employer. Get therapy
When your kid is bored with its input, it's okay to take it serious and see that it gets more/better input.
"Tough it out" is not good advice, no matter in what form it comes.
Children's tears are not an act. Not if it's a girl either. Check your bias.
Just because it didn't kill you, does not mean you have to do it to your kid.
Dear mom, run! Divorce! I'd still like to be alive and stuff, but you don't deserve this and neither do we.
work smarter not harder
my dad was an immigrant (technically so was I but I was brought here at a young age) and didn't speak the language. so he did manual labor jobs for a long time until he felt confident enough to try his luck at his own business. now he works much less and makes much more.
leave the manual labor for the people who can't do anything else. if you have skills, put them to use
Who can't do anything else? That's pretty demeaning and rude
everybody can't be a doctor or lawyer. you need someone to clean toilets, dig holes, and carry cement.
some people don't have the capacity or the willingness to do anything else. i work in the underground construction industry. there are a lot of illegals working digging holes and they're perfectly happy with it. they can't speak english, they can't work a computer, and they don't want to learn.
nothing wrong with it. other people, however, move up quickly. there was a girl we hired fresh off the boat. couldn't speak english and started off essentially digging holes for $1000 a week. she was sharp minded, however, and quickly started helping with the administrative tasks on the job sites. we gave her a raise and a promotion to crew supervisor. we gave her a laptop, she learned english quickly and eventually became a foreman and by the time she left us about 2 years later, she was making nearly 3x her original salary. she updated a lot of the systems we had and created daily reports for our clients. something we weren't doing - she just thought of it and it was a big benefit to us.
she ended up leaving to join someone else starting up their own company. she was able to get a big picture vision of the operation. some people cannot see past their job role
we have people that have been digging holes for us for the better part of a decade. they get paid their wage, they pay their bills, and when they get home they drink their beers and are happy.
it's just the way it is. nothing wrong with it. i think it's rude and demeaning to try and imply these people need to somehow get a better position or move forwards.
all i'm saying is if you're in a position where you can do more, do more. you'll get paid better and work less. and you'll find it's like an upward spiral. the more you do, the more things you'll be given the opportunity to do. then you can leverage that into better opportunities