Bussy?

hypertown@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 543 points –
81

šŸ™„ this is why I only date bisexual women. If I said this to any women I'm in a relationship with she would probably say something like, "fuck you" then peg me while annoying asking if I got the pun.

Straightest Griffith interaction.

Also, fuck Griffith

Griffith is the best best quantum mechanics book I've ever read, what are you on about.

One of my high school teachers was called miss bussy and I'm not joking about this ethier, that was her actual name

I bet she's thinking about a career change, if she hasn't done it already.

Maybe it's my man brain that's stupid, but can someone explain to me why "boy pussy" is so offensive that you give him the silent treatment?

Like, it makes zero sense. Wtf is a "boy pussy" anyways?

Am I too straight to understand this?

I don't want to offend, I genuinely do not understand. Help me out here.

Disclaimer: this isn't really my thing, so I have kind of an outsider's understanding and may be incorrect. I'm sure someone will be happy to correct me if I'm wrong about something.

Ok, let's break this down a little. First of all: boy pussy, or "bussy", is not an actual biological orifice that exists, as you may have guessed. Rather, it's a slang term meant to convey the metaphorical sexual concept that a male asshole - usually belonging to a sub/bottom or twink (but the term can apply to anyone willing) - has become an erogenous zone, possibly (depending on usage in dirty talk) that it will never again fulfill any other purpose.

Naturally, since it is a BOY pussy, it's not something that you would find on a woman, so the man in this story, while having sex with his wife, let slip that he was fantasizing about having sex with someone else. This does not seem to be her issue, as she mentions that they are at least somewhat in an open relationship and so him having sex with another woman would not be out of the question. However, she seems to take offense at the idea that he is fantasizing about having sex with another man, which is not something they would presumably have discussed prior to opening their relationship.

Hope this clears things up a little. Cheers!

Thank you! For some reason my brain didn't make the connection between the slag of "bussy" and "boy pussy".

Dunno why she would be upset by it in an open relationship, but okay.

I mean, if I was getting fucked by someone and they were actively fantasizing about me being someone else, I would be upset, open relationship or no

They missed this, but sheā€™s upset because heā€™s imagining her as a man

Unless that's a surprise (that he likes men), I'm not sure how much of a problem that would really be.

But far be it for me to tell anyone what should and shouldn't upset them.

Even if he likes men, and she knew, being told that youā€™re thought of as the gender youā€™re not isnā€™t something most people want. Calling a girl a dude when they identify as a girl isnā€™t exactly flattering.

That's fair enough. I don't personally let such things bother me, but I'm strange.

I always thought Bussy was a portmanteau of Butthole and Pussy.

Because I've definitely heard people use it in context where I can't imagine they were talking about a "boy pussy"

Butt-pussy, boy-pussy, same thing isn't it? The etymology is slightly different but it has the same meaning, a butthole.

Okay fr, i think bussy also may refer to intersex vagina. I think sex slang is often described only along heteronormative boundaries and it can get annoying and confusing.

That's interesting! I've only ever seen it as slang for boy and/or butt pussy. I will fully admit that you're correct in that these terms tend to fall along the heteronormative gender divide and I try to keep these explanations as gender neutral as possible (though there's only so much you can do with "boy pussy"), so I'll keep that in mind for the future. Thank you.

It's the butt. Also it is a bit offensive to be thinking about someone else in that context.

Is it though?

Not sure, you should gather more data. Next time you are with someone keep mentioning a different person. Share your results.

My results would be invalid because I don't participate in open relationships.

I don't have anything against such an arrangement, but I know myself, and knowing that my partner may be out, sleeping with another person would make me a very jealous person; normally, in a closed relationship, unless there is some kind of evidence of infidelity, I'm not jealous at all. I don't look for such evidence, and I do everything in my power to trust what my partner tells me as truth. My most significant rule in a relationship is that I will not lie to them about anything that matters, nor will I tolerate being lied to about the same. I'm up front about this arrangement with anyone I get involved with.

I have been in relationships where I've been lied to, and I have been in situations where there has been infidelity in the relationship (or at least, evidence it did or will happen). I did not like the person I became. So I tend to avoid situations where I could become that person.

I have not, nor would I allow myself to be in an open relationship. As such, I do not possess the mental fortitude to deal with my partner having intimate relationships with others. It's a character flaw that I don't seem to be able to get over, so I avoid it. Since I am not in an open relationship, it would not be a valid comparison, since there's factors in the OP that I cannot satisfy, and the results would not reflect a comparible situation.

All I can say is that I would imagine that in an open relationship, such things would be reacted to differently than in a closed relationship. Since I do not have the requisite experience necessary to know those differences, instead, I asked.

Instead of a genuine response I get sarcastic and snide replies about "how would you feel?", when I have no basis for comparison.

Thanks though.

hang on let me check the big bi handibook....

yep, it's ass.

edit:

I did not see that there was a second thing you could be responding to. I'll look that one up too....

yup, it's rude.

Saying "that boy pussy" might not be about another person, so I'm also not sure this should actually be offensive. He might just be thinking about anal sex while he is in a vagina.

I'm making a big assumption though:

  • women can have a boy pussy since they also have an anus

I am not getting into a debate about the semiotics of anal sex with you or anyone else.

What is the internet even for then?

Doxxing people who express an opinion, Russian misinformation campaigns to get your racist uncle to vote, and illegal downloads mostly.

I wouldn't be offended by this, but other phrases about my body might offend me. As an example, the term "man boob" really disgusts me and makes me feel ashamed of my body. My wife knows this. If she said that during an intimate moment it could very well make me upset. It's hard to know how I'd react in the moment. It could be that he accidentally said "boy pussy" then didn't apologize or acted like it wasn't anything wrong. It could be that OOP was already very self conscious about their vagina and having it compared to an asshole (what "boy pussy" usually refers to in cis males) was upsetting.

Emotions are weird and often don't make logical sense. It's less important exactly why something was upsetting and more important to acknowledge that it was upsetting and apologize.

4 more...

I read the post title as ā€œBuseyā€, then opened the post, and got really confused as to what Gary Busey had to do with any of this.

Of you really think about something, somewhere Gary Busey has to do with it. In a weird Busey way, of course, but there is done relation between every single thing in the universe and Gary Busey. Thanks wishes to be him.

A bussy is just another word for butthole so no biggie? Girls technically have a bussy too?

As a boy pussy, I am offended. And I am going to mince around in frustration.

She should get a strap-on and be happy, that she's apparently not as floppy as her grandma.

I do have to come to homeboys defense. She heard bussy and though he was picturing a twink. While that's fine and dandy if that's what he's into, maybe he was actually thinking about bears. Sounds like she's the issue cause she thinks we can only be twinks. My beard says otherwise.

and reddit will ban you if you dont take this seriously and clown on this post.

And your problem is what, exactly?

I think the person is concerned that their partner doesn't feel comfortable with them.

Yeah thats why you make sure to NOT talk about your feelings like this "concerned" person. If you have problems in a relationship, it is important to talk to anyone but your partner. Best thing to do is, get some advice from complete strangers who do not know you or your partner and have very limited and skewed information. This way you will surely get the right answers! /s

I donā€™t know, seems like thatā€™s the reason heā€™s into her, thatā€™s how I read it lol

that she thinks she have no bussy

But sheā€™s getting laid tho, so whatā€™s her problem?

Wtf does this even mean lol

Look, I get that when someoneā€™s perception of you is incongruent with your self-concept it can create an internal conflict, and perhaps affect your self-esteem. The theory of self-perception is essentially based on these ideas.

Hereā€™s how I evaluate the situation in this meme, this ladyā€™s vagina may or may not be a bussy but itā€™s being perceived that way by at least one partner.

Regardless of the perception of that partner, we donā€™t know if that ladyā€™s vagina is indeed a bussy, and thereā€™s no way for her to say so herself based on a sample size of 1. So her effective experience is that of someone who has a partner who finds her genitals pleasing, but sheā€™s distorting that experience for herself because of the dissonance between her self-concept of her vagina and whatever her partner thinks that vagina is.

Essentially tho, if her ā€œbussyā€ is helping her get sexual attention and gratification, then I fail to see the problem. To me, itā€™s like saying ā€œyeah I have a cake, but itā€™s not the cake I thought I hadā€, and I am like, a cake is a cake. Enjoy it.

You realize it's possible to have unenjoyable sex, right?

Yes but where is that indicated in the post? Itā€™s only after he says bussy that sheā€™s got an issue. At least thatā€™s what I can tell šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

I think you read the post wrong. This is being posted by a woman. "He" never says he has a bussy. It's the girlfriend/wife that is upset that her boyfriend/husband was pretending she was a guy, and that her actual pussy was a boys butthole.

Buddy, you do realize that the experience of her hearing that comment made the sex bad for her, right? That's why she's upset and made the post.

So I canā€™t say if the person who said it was imagining her as someone else, or perceiving her genitals as something different from her self image. If itā€™s the former, I can understand the frustration, but if itā€™s the latter, then I donā€™t think one should be so close minded that theyā€™d let their own self image of themselves get in the way of their relationship. I guess thatā€™s just my pov and Iā€™ll leave it at that

Emotions aren't inherently logical. It's not so simple as "this shouldn't make me upset, therefore I won't be upset." It could very well be that OOP's partner did something like refuse to apologize because they "did nothing wrong." Acknowledging your partner's feelings and accommodating them is more important than being right.

First mistake was having an open relationship, start of an unhealthy life together

I donā€™t understand the problem. Obviously, itā€™s not for you, but why do you care what other peopleā€™s relationships look like when you arenā€™t a part of it?

Because it's innately unhealthy, but more specifically I don't want to be pressured into cheating on my partner or vice versa because it's become the norm

I fail to see how someone elseā€™s private relationship defines yours in any way. This sounds less like you have a problem with other people, and more like you have trust issues, whether towards yourself or towards your own partner. Either way, your relationship has nothing to do with anyone elseā€™s, just like theirs has nothing to do with yours. If you donā€™t want to cheat on your partner, then donā€™t cheat on your partner.

At what point did the post mention an open relationship? Am I stupid or does it not mention it?