how's your week going, Beehaw

alyaza [they/she]@beehaw.orgmod to Chat@beehaw.org – 143 points –

things are in fact going extremely badly but we'll see if they pick up starting tomorrow night for reasons that will preclude me being here for about a week (seeing my SO)

124

I got a kitten. Want to see pictures?

Edit: Here's us having cuddles on her first day home.

a cuddly kitten girl

a cuddly kitten girl

She can be loud.

she's loud

She's decided this is her bed. I need to chase her off and get a clean one!

kitten sleeping on a dinner plate

You're going to leave us all hanging like that? Is it a graybe? One braincelled marmalade? Tuxedo!?

She's so precious! What's her name?

Lemon Cardboard seemed to fit for some reason? Which means she's Lemmy for short... Kind of a strange coincidence.

Not so great. My mom died a week ago, I got fired 6 weeks into paid family leave and I’ve started to realize that drinking is becoming a habit :(

Im so sorry to hear about your mother passing last week. We love you so much here, and there are people that care about you. jobs come and go, and they always are going to look out for their best interests. I think it takes a lot of courage to recognize a growing bad habit, I hope you can find a healthier outlet to process your stress and griefs.

Thank you. Yeah, I’ve been applying to places but a lot of job postings these days are scams. Alcoholism killed my brother just under 2 years ago so I generally try not to drink. Ironic eh? :/

I’ve found that stress and grief cause me to be somewhat self destructive so that isn’t surprising to me. Take care of yourself. Although you’ll carry your mom’s death forever, the pain will get better and the joyful memories that you have will get their color back. Hang in there. We’re all rooting for you!

Holy shit, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm happy to lend an ear if you need it, just send me a pm or hit me on Matrix.

That's awful I'm so sorry 🫂. I hope things turn around for you

Honestly hope is what keeps me going. Thank you.

Doing OK. Found out last week that I don't have cancer, so that's always a plus.

That's wonderful news! I hope that you're feeling okay otherwise and that it wasn't a scare based on symptoms that you don't have answers for yet.

Nope, just a weird bump in my chest that turned out to be scar tissue :)

Sounds like most people commenting in this thread are going through some challenges right now. I'm hoping things turn around for everyone soon.

I've been having a great week.

  • I got myself a working install of Linux on my laptop. I still have things I need to fix, but I've made it further than I actually expected in just 2 evenings after work.
  • My kid is making great progress with learning how to swim.
  • My job remains stressful but I had a few little victories that will make my September much easier than expected (or at least clear the plate a bit so that even if some things happen, they won't pile onto an existing shit sandwich).
  • I just bought some really awesome tomatoes at the farmer's market, and can't wait to incorporate into sandwiches starting tomorrow (tonight I gotta go buy some fresh sourdough to really complete the entire effect of a delicious sandwich). I love tomato season!
  • I made it back to the gym for the first time in a month. Lots of travel in July (mostly work, but also a family vacation in the middle) put me in hotels without room in my schedule to do any real workouts, although I guess I walked way more than I normally do while traveling (one day I hit 15,000 steps almost entirely in airports). I feel better when I'm working out regularly, so being home is helpful for resetting that part of my routine.

I'm feeling pretty great! Sending good vibes to everyone else in this thread, whether they're having good weeks or bad weeks.

Good to hear good news. The deer pretty much cropped my tomato plants right back to the small tomato cages, knocking most of the protected tomatoes off in the process.

On the bright side, my daughter is home from college for a month and the weather here in the Appalachian mountains has cooled a bit so there are likely some nice evening walks in my future.

Nice job on diving into Linux. It's a love that never ends, except when you're wildly confused. Then it resumes once you figure it out.

I saw your post talking about how you got it going in another community. Good for you! Linux still does not play well with laptops. It's especially hard on the laptop you're trying to get it working on. The older the hardware, the better the Linux is still the rule of thumb. As far as the rest, also happy for you. Your enthusiasm is contagious.

I had amazing luck getting Linux running nicely, way-back-when, with an Acer Aspire One. I've stayed with that product line for all my laptops and so far it's paid off. But then there's also options like System76 for nice machines with Linux pre-installed.

Debian has always worked pretty easily for me on ThinkPads. I guess it depends what you're trying to run it on.

It really depends on what hardware you have. A new laptop just released last month will have a ton of issues with any linux distro. The guy we're replying to installed linux on a mac laptop. Not ever easy! The ThinkPads often work well with any distro, as far as I know. Same goes for HP laptops. BUT, most gaming laptops are a no-go, unless you're ready to spend hours tweaking after installation.

I'm new here but since you asked and this is the first thing I see in my feed, I'll tell you. My mom died the day before yesterday. So, not starting the week off as I'd like to. I didn't like the way I was informed about. A very impersonal and uppity email from my older sister I am not on speaking terms with. So, I'll just plod along and find a bright side somewhere! To all of you who are having it rough this week: I'm hoping things get better for you.

good lord my friend. sorry to hear that! losing a parent is never easy, regardless of what kind of relationship you had with them beforehand. Hoping things get better for you, too ❤

Thank you. I lost her quite a while ago because my older sister cut off my ability to communicate with my mother quite a while ago. I live on another continent so I couldn't really do much about that to fight it. In a lot of ways, I mourned the loss of my mother a long time ago, so her actual physical death is something that I already mourned. Still, it really sucks, but my mom was unwell for quite a while, and she is no longer unwell. That's a good thing. Thanks for being so nice with your comment. I'll be just fine. Situations like this in my personal life remind me about all the things I need to do to protect people from these kinds of unpleasant situations that are unfair.

It says a lot about your character that your reaction to your own hardship is that you want to work to make sure other people are protected from it. We're lucky to have you in the world and on this instance. Thanks for being you.

Thank you, that's so kind of you to say so. You seem like a very friendly and caring person.

This year has been without a doubt one of the most difficult years for me. My relationship is not going great, we may be headed towards a divorce. I’m also no longer talking to my best friend of 18 years. She was someone who had been in my life since I was a kid and I feel so lonely without her.

I’m trying to get my routines in check but just going through the day without having a breakdown seems like a Herculean effort.

Ugh that's a brutal combo. You deserve a medal for each day you get through, with or without a breakdown. You got anyone else in your support system that you can turn to?

Thanks. I have a therapist who's been helping me to make sense of it all. Otherwise, I've just been trying to keep myself busy, going to the gym, trying new hobbies and so on. Hopefully, things will get easier as time goes on.

I'm at the airport right now, about to leave for a week long vacation to Hawaii! I've never been before so it'll be a super fun way to celebrate my one year anniversary with my wife!

Sorry to hear about the rough times OP. From one human being to another, keep doing your best and know that there's another human somewhere hoping you are well. Cheers.

My week has been pretty good, I work in a library so I spend my lunch digitizing any book I want or at least feel that it should be saved digitally.

That's cool! I used to work in a bookstore but always felt like it was trying to put a price on reading. Library would feel a lot homier for me I feel. Thank you for what you do! If it weren't for Libraries as a kid I probably would have never fallen in love with reading.

Sorry to hear about the rough times OP. From one human being to another, keep doing your best and know that there’s another human somewhere hoping you are well. Cheers.

i'm not very optimistic but we'll see. a fundamental problem is i'm locked into my living situation for the foreseeable future unless something crazy happens, and my current living situation is constant and droning suicide fuel. also not really in a position to seek mental health professionals

Mentally, kind of a mess. Preparing for a planned surgery later this month. Struggling with a newer relationship and someone whom seems to regularly be around but rarely be around for me. Getting over strep throat and hating the antibiotic, but sticking to the schedule. In good news, I have a date with a partner I've only seen once over the last two months that I've been missing and I'm celebrating a 4 yr anniversary with another tomorrow 😄

Oh wow you've got a lot going on. I hope your date goes well and that you feel better soon!

Still unemployed. Still in the middle of a depressive episode because of this.

I just started a new job not too long ago after a year of being unemployed...

It's hard and the whole recruitment process is soooo bullshit 90% of the time.

You can't force someone to give you a job and most of the time that you don't land a job it's not because of you. I know I blamed myself for not having a job many days, but in reality the circumstances are not in your control.

Some HR take months to move their arse on a requisition, stringing you along with boilerplate responses to followups for months. Some months I got no bites, other months I got 3 interviews.

Get references, study (whether in a school, books at the library in areas of interest), figure out what kind of jobs you want, apply to whatever jobs you think you want, get people you know to refer you to their work, take certifications, go to industry conferences of your interest, join professional groups. Get a recruiting agency to help you. Go to employment counseling.

It took me a year despite doing every single one of these things. Some days it was easy for me, other days it was hard even without any specific disability. Do your best, be the best yourself you can be, don't let being without a job define yourself. Look more towards the person you want to be, and start with changing the things you can change rather than what you can't.

Very good point about it not being about you. I didn't really understand that until I was on the other side and doing some hiring. Sometimes we'd have no qualified applicants for months (like, we had a junior dev position and got people applying that knew nothing about code), and other times we'd have 10+ applicants that were perfect and we wanted to take all of them.

I used to think if I didn't get a job it was on me. Turns out it's a numbers game (assuming you're not applying for something like a junior dev position with only cust service experience).

The real problem I have with conditions embedding themselves in how I define myself is with the depression rather than the unemployment. I've only been unemployed a little over thirteen months. The depression is a chronic problem I've experienced on one level or another for roughly twenty years. Between the two, the depression definitely strikes deeper to the core. It’s just that the current episode is pretty tough to deal with as long as I am dealing with the isolation created by this unemployment.

Sorry to hear this friend, I hope things get better for you!

Well, that sucks. Don't give up on the job applications. It's a real pain in the rear looking for jobs. Don't let the no people discourage you. I hope something inspires you a little to take away some of the blahs. Feeling depressed is just... what is the adequate adjective to describe it? It sucks and I hate feeling it. I'm sure you don't like it either. We'll leave it at that.

Seeing what folks have said, I kind of feel bad griping about my own issues, but as of now I have nobody else to really talk to (or at least that's the way it feels), so here goes:

  • Work has been up and down. It has been super stressful and intense at times - especially on Mondays, and then calms down as the week goes on. It doesn't help that we have half our team members and next week our team lead is going on holiday. And next week is going to be the start of support, where I'll need to be available 24/7 (it's a thing, and apparently it pays super well and also can help for a promotion)
  • I bought a house in March and things are still ongoing from the sellers side despite being virtually done on my side. This wouldn't be so stressful had it not been for the fact that I have a mortgage offer that will expire at the end of October, and given how the seller wants 4 weeks to paint their new house before I get the keys(!!!) that means I'll need to factor the 4 weeks into the expiry and eventually consider putting my foot down and pulling out (which I don't want to do, but interest rates have drastically changed in the UK, so I'm unlikely to have an extension or the same offer again)
  • A few weeks ago I got shingles, and I had medicine for that (stress from house and work). Went over to my sisters and she started talking to me about the foot fungus she saw on my feet as well as fungal infection behind my ear. The behind-the-ear requires a shampoo, so that's simple. The toenail fungal infection requires toenail clippings as well as blood test to check my liver. Yesterday the results came back slightly borderline for my kidneys, so I'm going to have to repeat the results (also I have to avoid alcohol and eat more fruit). At this point I can't help but feel like my body is a Rube Goldberg machine and while it's nice that my sister is spotting these issues, it just makes me feel slightly depressed about my body.
  • The weather in the UK as well as the health issues has left me a bit house bound, and more importantly, I feel incredibly lonely.

But on the plus side:

  • I have a very, very well paid job that seems to actually compensate me for the effort I put in - much, much more than my last job
  • I have a genuinely very caring family that wants the best for me
  • I'm lucky to live in a time when I can just write this post and several strangers will see it, even if they don't respond. In some ways, the loneliness is much more in my head
  • I already ate 3 bits of fruit yesterday and I had one before my dinner (this is actually quite a big deal for me) :D
  • I'm self aware enough to spot when I'm catastrophising and (hopefully) I can make an active effort to nip it in the bud. Sometimes its easy, and other times it's mentally exhausting.
  • I'm sure there are others out there who are doing much worse with taking care of their bodies than me.
  • I am not depressed yet. I may have bouts of anxiety through the day, but I think this is manageable.

Your difficulties are real, valid, and not relative to any other person's. It's okay to have them and discuss them.

Keep watching your own brain when you can; you cannot be successful every time but you improve your brain hygiene a little bit each time you do. Sometimes you'll have to let it happen for bit of time while you regain enough energy to stop catastrophising and that's okay too. The exhaustion you get from stopping it just means you're doing good work.

So I have phenylketonuria, and a big part of this is being in tune with my brain and my mental/emotional/physical well-being as to try and gauge when my phenylalanine levels are high.

Since I’ve had my phenylalanine levels so low, I was able to correctly find out my levels were high.

As to catastrophising, unfortunately that is a symptom of high phe levels. I’ve been working on lowering my phe levels, and today was the first day I didn’t feel any anxiety or catastrophe despite starting something 24h support at work today for a week.

I totally hear you on the fruit thing. I wish I was better at stopping the catastrophising.

I feel a lot better today. I think part of it is writing things out and actually visualising my situation. I think another part was your reply, which helped me feel seen, so thank you.

I was at a small roleplaying convention last week. It was great to meet the others again after about a year and game with them. Unfortunately someone was rather generous with their flu viruses and I got my personal helping. So I'm on sick leave for the second say but luckily, according to the test it's just a flu and not the big bad C. On Monday I clobbered together a small template for my sister to build fake computer screens as props for TV shows... All in all a mixed bag of some good stuff and some annoying things...

Everything is worse now. Family troubles. Nobody wants to give up their position on anything to meet in the middle. Nobody deserves this. We all deserve better of each other.

Just dropping in to mention that Sync for Lemmy is available for Android. It's pretty good. Early (you can't submit stuff yet), but it's getting updated every day. Just FYI in case anyone was as excited as I was, haha.

Nice, thank you! Trying it out now. Font is crazy small (even after trying to make it bigger) and there seems to be some comment nesting issues, but excited to see it evolve :)

Not good. My dog has congestive heart failure. I'm trying to cope with it but it's hard. Got him after I got out of the military, was really fucked in the head for a while and was having a really hard time and he pretty much saved my life. Considering selling my car to help pay for a 40,000 dollar heart surgery that University of Florida might be able to do but... I know that's just fucking crazy. Too much money and they probably have so many people lined up that it's not possible anyway. My newest hobbies are crying and listening to his heart murmur every night as I go to sleep

I feel like if I don't do everything in my power to help him then it's my fault but I know that isn't true and I've given him a good life.

My dad is dying too, he doesn't want to talk about it. It's weird because I kind of feel indifferent about it. I don't know. I feel lost right now. I'm trying to be objective. Dogs die, people die. I've lost plenty of friends and family and obviously the world keeps on ticking. Right now it's pretty rough, beehaw. I'll keep on keepin' on, I guess.

I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is a special kind of pain, and thinking about losing a parent on top of that must be way too much to process at once. Sending love.

I'm sorry, that's really hard. I lost my cat at a hard time last year when I was under a lot of stress and I cried quite a bit. Only thing I've cried about in years. He knows that you love him and that you're there for him.

I have nothing to report other than that I have the day off from work today, I am high, and having a great day. Hope things clear up for everyone soon, I'm keeping yall in my thoughts.

Thursday on I'll be living in my office without a clear future. As soon as I realized that I was really a woman I knew there would be serious sacrifices to be made. When you're down you get to see what people are really like, the bad and the good. It's funny how the plant my dad gave me has suddenly died after many years, eventhough I gave it the same care as always. I really loved that plant.

I feel like adding that the plant's name was Gerald and I used to introduce him to all my guests.

Not good. I've had three who were very close to me die of old age, so I'm slated to go to two funerals in the next couple of weeks. I'm hoping that things turn around, but that feels like asking for too much.

Like someone already said, less hot. Kid is going back to school this week and while I'm not thrilled about having to get up earlier, I'm extra thrilled about being alone on my off days ☺

New job started this week after 10 years, 18% increase, love my new coworkers...

But depression sucks. LOL

Sorry to hear about your depression. Sounds like a hell of a bump from your old job - good on you for getting the job!!

Thanks! Hopefully it'll help relieve stress in other places.

It's an interesting journey being neurospicy.

I spent half a decade with depression. It sucks.

I recommend reading, or even better listening to, the storm light archive. Sanderson's writing style isn't for everyone but the series is almost like therapy in a book; especially Kaladin's story, he's got the big sad too.

just turned in a month long freelance project! looking forward to having my free time back.

I hope things get better for you!

My week is starting off alright tbh. Been having bad neck pains. Work feels stale, home feels stale, gym feels stale, personal life feels stale.

I recently stopped talking to one of my best friends and after that, our group disbanded. Luckily I have a girlfriend and she keeps me sane, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss going out and getting drunk as a group of like 6 of us lol

Sorry to hear that bud. I recently stopped talking to my best friend and our friend group after their response to my wife's pregnancy and miscarriage. Basically made us feel like a burden while she was pregnant, and with two exceptions, the other 10 people said nothing after the miscarriage.

Sucks to cut contact after 15 years, but he still did nothing after I talked to him about this. Ultimately, I think it was for the best, but it still blows when your supposed support system fails you.

I'm so sorry you all had to go through that. I hope you and your wife are doing well.

I had to stop talking to him because he SA'd two (maybe three) of my female friends and he attempted to do the same to my girlfriend. It was on my birthday and I invited all of my friends to drink, play board games, and just chill out.

I feel bad that such a bad thing happened to my friends at my party, and I regret not noticing he was like that earlier. Looking back, he had some red flags but I didn't know he was capable of something like that. Maybe I was just being naive.

Ultimately, I think it was for the best, but it still blows when your supposed support system fails you.

I really agree with that. Thank you for your response

Thank you, doing better with time.

That's fucked man. I wouldn't blame yourself for trusting someone not to be a piece of shit. I'm glad you acted when you found out, and hopefully he faces consequence for his actions

It's going ok!

My sons daycare had to close for the week because of a COVID outbreak so I've been daddy-day care all week. It's nice to spend quality time with him, but man 2-year-olds are a lot.

I took some vacation time. My new longboarding friend seems nice, and my husband doesn't seem to hate him, so that's always nice. He even taught me my first trick, and I'm planning to buy another board since all I have are dropthroughs and one mini cruiser.

Got a flat tire on my bicycle, but fortunately I don't mind fixing things so the only maddening part is waiting for the tubes to be delivered.

It's been nice enough in the evenings for my dogs to enjoy the outdoors.

Only 3 work days in this hellhole and im free to pursue shit that doesnt make me wanna die

Feels pretty good

I had to deal with insurance BS for my bipolar medication and was off of them for three days. Wasn't so great but I'm medicated again, thankfully. Waiting for when me and my gf can move in together; certain financial issues are holding us back but its nice getting to spend time with her on the weekends.

Speaking of insurance bs I still haven't dealt with the 700 I purportedly owe to an ambulance service for something back in January, ughhhhhh

You reminded me that I forgot to take my meds when I woke up. I'm going to take them now.

Thank you for sharing!

I just found out that my car insurance was cancelled due to a billing error and now I'm driving uninsured until next week... My anxiety has been through the roof for a week now because of this and so so many other things. I feel like my life is teetering on the edge right now. But honestly it's probably not that bad. What I really need is a med adjustment for anxiety... I am catastrophizing everything lately. I just need to get calm.

Hang in there chief. The insurance lapse will be merely a blip in the future, so, try to stay focused on number one. Breathe, and make sure you take time to care for your damn self. Nobody can benefit from your awesomeness if you worry yourself to death.

Things are ok more or less. Went with my mum to a secure dog field yesterday so her dog could run, she loved every second of it. Still mentally blah but being able to work from home over the last few days has helped. Did another crochet workshop on the weekend and I think I'm gradually starting to understand the basics.

Got a meeting with one of the exec directors on Thursday which I'm a bit terrified about. Catsitting for my sister over the weekend which will be nice though.

Doing OKish, runnning very low on my cannabis which is stressing me out a bit thanks to slow delivery times, which is bad because cannabis is what keeps my mental health stable without ADHD medication, which I'm still like a month away from getting.

So I feel insanely restless and can't focus on shit to save my life, even bought a new game and just can't sit down and play it for longer than 20 or 30 minutes at the most. Hope things improve for you OP.

A bit stressful, but I can manage it. I manage to get work done and slowly gain my ability to enjoy my hobby and making thing for myself again, which is nice!(For context, I have dysthymia, so I kinda lose my enjoyment in my hobby for a long while now) I'm new at beehaw as well, so hi everyone! I hope thing will get better for everyone here and have a good day. 😊

I got covid the day I was supposed to start a new job so yeah not good

so, so tired.... no matter how much I sleep. I think I'm sick?

Pretty meh. But at the same time, decent, but not.

So, on one hand, I got more time to spend time with friend in Hunt Showdown, fun game. On another.. I Kinda went down on reading time.. I am still averaging over hour per day, buut, it would be nice to read more q.q And I want to read more in Japanese, but some days, its just... struggle train.

Love that game. My buddy won't play it though because it stresses him out too much.

Aside from working overnight, I'm putting together furniture in my new apartment, looking for more decor, figuring out how to lay everything out... just chipping away until everything is the way I want it. Got some things to fix/replace as well.

Good. Got my first piercings and started a project to convert a bakfiets to an ebike with a Bafang mid-drive motor.

Not a bad week so far! My dad had a pretty big surgery last week but was able to go home on Tuesday, which was a relief to all of us. Otherwise enjoying the teacher life still on Summer vacation, finished playing Life is Strange and still jamming on Diablo IV.

Have you been liking Diablo IV a good bit? I played 3 on console years ago with a friend but never solo. Do you think it'd be worth getting to play solo?

I'm also a teacher doing the summer thing. I'm so glad for you that your dad had big surgery when you had extra time. It's so hard during the school year to balance work and life.

My problems pale in comparison to what it sounds like you're going through. I'm just swamped with work stuff

They're still your problems! No need to rob yourself of feeling the gravity of your own situation within your own frame of reference ☺ perspective can be helpful though.

my budget is finally back on track. i've owed my partner money for awhile (new to us house repairs and such), and i finally had enough of a cushion to pay him back + have enough for the rest of the month, including our first property tax bill. feels good, man.

I hope your week gets better 🫂. Mine's going alright so far. Bought my girlfriends monster hunter this morning so excited to try that out! Tried a new edible and got uh oh high last night and I'm still walking that off lol. My works making me upgrade laptops so I have to 'pleasure' of setting up a new mac that full of mdm nonsense

Been super busy this past month, finally done with my backlog and have time to enjoy myself again.

seeing a concert tonight, which i’m very excited about!

I've been in a very dark place, mentally. I tried posting about it on a mental health community, and I attracted downvotes and trolls, so not good (some helpful people too, but not worth it imo)

I need to find a therapist, but I haven't had much luck in the past (had one who went on an unprovoked rant about how there's a MLK Day but no White People Day, and another who was obsessed with being so vocally anti-cannabis that I felt I couldn't be honest)

I'm thinking about staying with my parents for a while, but I can't afford to take time off work to go

I don't have any words of consolement, but I'd just like to say that you were one of the first lemmy users I found on beehaw and I've enjoyed your comments and posts.

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time!

My week's been good. Finally started my four week vacation time. Feels so good, though we don't seem to be getting any of that heat that the rest of the world is suffering under. It's been somewhat chilly and absolutely pouring outside almost 24/7 for a while now.

Wish it could be at least dry and somewhat warm. Still so nice to be off work though!

Going okay overall, recommended a partner something to use for file syncing, and it ended up wiping their entire music folder accidentally, so I feel bad about that, but other than that has been okay. Got some new games, work is... work lol, same as usual

One time a friend and I were attempting to install a Linux partition on his personal machine with all his undergrad work on it. We installed Linux over everything else. We both leaned a valuable lesson about backups that day

Ouch. I'm probably a bit excessive with my backups because I don't want something like that to ever happen. Have everything backed up to an external hard drive weekly automatically, and my most important files backed up saved to my phone and across multiple different cloud storage providers

Yeah I've done the same, a couple on site drives and cloud providers. Although since I've finished school, only thing I can think of worth saving are decades of photos

Finished up a refreshingly boring week at work and this Sunday I will be traveling to Manhattan for employee training! I visited Manhattan last month and did all the classic NYC tourist stuff but I feel I missed out on the food side of NYC; the recommendations I got at the time were subpar. If anyone has tips for worthwhile food spots to check out nearish to Moynihan/Penn Station, lemme know!

Last time I was in NYC I got high af and went to Maison Pickle. It was delicious.

I think today was very hot in my town (30° C). Hopefully temperature will be a bit lower by Friday.