There's a small craft brewery in small-town Wisconsin that partnered with a coffee roaster to make a canned coffee called "Woke". The coffee is pretty good, and the beer is damn good.
They piss off the local right-wing government, so they're constantly getting shut down, but it usually only lasts a couple weeks.
Water works the same no matter gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, age or any other human metric. Water is the wokest thing ever!
You have to collect rainwater and filter it yourself
Only known way for truly ethical water
A true "Patriot" would follow the trail of the filter. Where did the raw materials come from for the filter? where was it manufactured? how was it shipped to the store? Who put it on the shelf? If a dirty librul ever touched it then it can't be certified as "non-woke"
Not sure but the water out of your faucet is much less likely to have something wrong with it and if it is not completely free it is very very close to it.
Not from Nestle
But also from Nestlé. They won't say no to money.
You can put Going Green on a plastic coke bottle, doesn't mean it's green haha. You are 100% right though, Nestle would sell anything they could get their cock holders on
Sometimes, I wish I lacked a sense of guilt. I could make so much money conning these people...
But then if I lacked a sense of guilt, I'd be one of them.
Mood. Maybe make a bunch of money conning them and donate directly to causes they oppose?
I'd feel guilty just about the lying part to be honest.
If you don't con them, someone else will. Although their values will usually align so there is that.
It's not about them.
You are a good person and the revolution needs you.
Thank you.
They just keep fleecing the rubes and the rubes just keep letting them
It looks so easy 😭 I wish I had the starting capital and lack of morals to start one of these grifts.
Just print out the word “freedom” in size 72 times new roman on your printer (doesn’t matter if it won’t fit on one line) and tape it to some blank t-shirts. Go to a Republican event and sell them
New Non-Woke Freedom Shirts! Get your Non-Woke Freedom Shirts!
Snowflakes. Incredibly infantile in their "freedom fries" kind of way.
I hate to say it, but Dems should be trying to reclaim the word "freedom". It makes absolutely no sense for Cons to be attached to it so strongly. We need more freedom fries and liberty toast.
I think they do, it's just not repeated ad-nauseam and attached to everything like the Cons do. Free to be LGBTQ, free to read the books you want, free to organize labor, etc... Real, tangible, life-improving freedoms. Cons? All they want is freedom to take everyone else's rights away. That's their "freedom".
But that's the thing. The Dems want to campaign like they have for the past century, going out and making sensible campaign stops every so often. Obama was trying to change this, and honestly had the right of it - you blast your message everywhere, all at once, KEEP REPEATING IT, and shorten the general gist until it can fit in a meme.
Anti-woke fries.
Black Rifle Coffee, so anti-woke, you'll go back to bed.
she got the idea for the brand while watching the Republican debates, where she noticed audience members drinking water that had “no connection to the people drinking it.”
They could have been drinking the same water as the blue team. Disgusting.
What's that, Nestle?
Nope, Nestle is too woke. Anything that doesn't say "Freedom" is too woke.
Ironic because freedom is also woke.
Pumped downstream of some chemical factories on the great Mississippi river for that slight hint of deregulation flavor.
Same way grandaddy did it!
Now with extra lead!
That's just what I was thinking. It should contain added microplastics and industrial waste. And it should come in bottles made of plastic that cant' be recycled and never breaks down. That would be the proper way to support right wing environmental policies. It would also be another "don't get vaccinated" way for them to kill their own supporters.
Well, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of.
And isn’t in the top 10 for these guys.
Is there a single generic product these imbeciles won't line up to buy if you slap trumps face, or the word freedumb, or the anti-woke label on it? I should have been a grifter.
I jokingly asked my wife recently if I could quit my job and become a right wing YouTuber. I have worked in video and audio production for over a decade, I would have an operation up and running in probably a week if I really wanted to do it. We laughed and sighed…And then realized that unfortunately, I would probably be at least modestly successful.
I think the way you need to do it is The Onion style of journalism, with a wink and a nod. BUT when your crazy ass right wing theories get shared as "FACTS" on other social media sites you don't dispute it. I kinda think that is how most right wing YouTubers do it.
I liked it better when W.C. Fields was attributed to have said it (although it isn't definite that he did).
He did say some fun things in about booze in films though:
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
I exercise extreme self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days.
He also once said something serious which is also my own policy:
Hell, I never vote for anybody. I always vote against.
This is their version of corporate pride month merch.
Republicans will buy damned near anything out of spite.
This sincerely might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t even have words anymore
anti-woke water is what i call my nighttime melatonin drink
I'll stick to refilling old bottles with tap water.
You should use a reusable water bottle for that purpose though. Don't reuse single-use plastic like that
Normally one puts used 2-liter pop bottles into recycling.
Occasionally I reuse one a few times.
Why would I buy a water bottle when I essentially have one—at times several—already?
Because even the food safe plastics are proven to leach microplastics and volatile compounds into your water?
There's a good chance the water into your tap comes from plastic pipes.
At all plastic is made the same
Water bottle is literally cheapest shit there is..
You can see sml pices of plastic on the bottle fraying when you buy it.
Not am expert but PVC is a bit different ...
But point stands, there is just nuance to it.
We got any petro bros to clarify around?
I'm a plumber and it's a well known fact that there is some amount of chemicals leaching into water from PVC, PEX and composite pipes. Enough to cause harm? Who knows.
Also, microplastics are in the air we breathe. It's pretty much impossible to avoid that so I wouldn't worry too much about re-using single use bottles. There are more important things to pay attention to if one wants to live a long and healthy life such as staying lean and excercising.
plastic shopping bags, plastic textile bags, nylon, polyester, food wrap, margarine tubs, most electronics, automobiles, electric bikes, pedal bikes, definitely tires, plastic sandwich bags, tea bags, pens, chewing gum, filters, plastic pill bottles, plastic syringes, plastic in diapers, plastic in bandages, plastic in tampons, use only glass bottles for shampoos and conditioners, non-plastic combs and brushes, (most) imitation leather, plastic election signs, plastic gardening pots and trays, plastic garden hoses, plastic piping, plastic fuel containers, plastic casings for batteries, plastic electric chords, plastic in masks for the next pandemic, etc.
well fuck.
Nah you're right, you should just keep using the same old sunlight-degraded Fuji bottle you've been using. Who cares if you're drinking polyethylene, hell boil some coffee in that bad boy. Fuck minimizing exposure, it's nothing to me champ, drink up.
Dude he’s clearly not running this thing for years. A freshly acquired water bottle can be used two or three times over a couple of days. You aren’t going to die. When I was in Germany people reused their plastic bottles constantly. They would keep a giant bottle of whatever they wanted to fill it with in the fridge, and they would fill the smaller (used) plastic bottles, which they would wash and use few times before recycling. This is an incredibly common practice and it’s largely fine. You’re just trying to win an internet argument by making it sound like someone is digging out some crusty, crumbling years old plastic and eating the shavings for a snack.
TL;DR: reusing a (cleaned) plastic water bottle a few times before tossing it is not going to kill you.
Yeah I mostly agree with you and was largely being hyperbolic.
But really, I got a nice double-walled metal bottle awhile ago and it's a game changer, I top it off with ice and fresh (filtered) water from my fridge in the morning and I have fresh, icey water all day. And I'm not consuming a bunch of single-use plastic in the process, highly recommend.
edit: also, apathetic accelerationist doomers piss me off
You aint wrong but metal bottles are now a fad and cost like 30 bucks, which for most "western working people" aint that much. That's still decent cash for majority of the world esp to spend on a bottle... i already lost a few since i started with reusable, so need to budget for that too. Also, if i lose my reusable, yes i am getting less plastic but lost metal bottle if trashed prolly had bigger carbon impact.
I don't use ice nor do I use filters: just straight from the tap.
Those go into recycling, which, IIUC, mostly go into the landfill because Toronto doesn't rigourously enforce preparing and sorting recyclables enough.
For a while I used a 1.5 liter vodka bottle (mostly as a lark) but it got broken.
Metal containers also aren't transparent—I like to see what I'm drinking.
If re-use of plastic isn't the answer, then recycling is definitely not the answer.
At least 8 billion humans must stop using plastic.
Perhaps a more realistic solution would be to sterilize humanity now: that way, by 2099, the environment will start to significantly improve.
Yes. Instead of using the bottle you already have you should buy a new bottle!
Yes. Microplastics leech into your water when you reuse a single-use plastic bottle.
Moralizing people for re-using single-use plastic bottles is just virtue signaling. It's basically impossible to avoid microplastics and if one cares about their health there are things you can do that have orders of magnitude greater impact on it such as staying lean and excercising.
Avoidance isn't my goal. Reduction is. Might be the same for the other commentor
Drink out of what you want, but I like being able to scrub my reusable bottle.
Dogs piss on dirt, so if you walk on the grass, you may as well just be drinking dog piss. Don’t demonize people for that.
Thanks, dope ass logic. Let’s just ingest more plastic!!!!
Water bottle business and how boomers fell for it is microcosm of how modern America works.
Problem is now Republicans around the US are banning fluoride in our water, so who knows what else they’re going to ruin re: municipal water supplies. If they had their druthers we’d all be exclusively drinking bottled water.
Woke water, anti-woke water; all bottled by Nestle!
Republicans: Keep political statements out of my sports/TV/video games/etc!
Also Republicans: You can now make drinking water a political statement!
Republicans: Keep political statements that challenge my beliefs and make me uncomfortable out of my sports/TV/video games/etc!
Fixed that for you.
They obviously discovered the compounds that make the frogs gay!
Nowhere does it claim to be anti-woke except at the rage bait headline.
And the whole Twitter video they posted.
She doesn't use the word "woke" in it even once. I also don't think the person posting it has anything to do with the company.
You're going to ignore the entire thrust of the marketing because of the absence of one word?
The title of the article is intentionally misleading readers for clicks and rage bait. They're not calling it "anti-woke water", thedailybeast is. The name of the brand is Freedom2o. Is freedom anti-woke?
They're even talking about how their water is good for the environment.
Support environmental sustainability by choosing reverse osmosis water. Our water bottles are crafted with a reduced environmental footprint, ensuring that your commitment to clean water aligns with a broader dedication to preserving our planet.
Sounds pretty woke to me!
Are you on the spectrum? I ask because your "but it isn't 100% literally this thing" is the sort of overly pedantic and literalist thing I would do myself.
Would it make you feel better if you noted that the scrolling red banner at the top of the website does in fact have "this water ain't woke" among other similar sayings? And there is a "This drink ain't woke" Yeti cooler.
Does that help?
Are you on the spectrum?
Very likely.
Would it make you feel better if you noted that the scrolling red banner at the top of the website does in fact have “this water ain’t woke” among other similar sayings? And there is a “This drink ain’t woke” Yeti cooler.
I went to their website and did not see such banner but if that indeed is the case then that's all the proof I need to admit I was wrong.
Does it make me feel better? No, it makes me feel sad.
Time to break out ol' faithful
Where can I buy woke water?
The tears of Conservatives
hands down my favorite comment on this post
Too much lead unfortunately
Too salty.
I thought you'd like it salty Mr CumFart
Santorum adjacent for sure anyway.
You still got the title, bud, and believe me, I've been thanklessly reading all usernames to make sure. Well done, once again.
There's a small craft brewery in small-town Wisconsin that partnered with a coffee roaster to make a canned coffee called "Woke". The coffee is pretty good, and the beer is damn good.
They piss off the local right-wing government, so they're constantly getting shut down, but it usually only lasts a couple weeks.
https://www.minocquabrewingcompany.com/
I already love these guys.
"Extinct Elephant." Beautiful.
https://www.townofminocqua.org/contact-town-minocqua-wi/
I do hope no one clicks that link and flames them
Water works the same no matter gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, age or any other human metric. Water is the wokest thing ever!
You have to collect rainwater and filter it yourself
Only known way for truly ethical water
A true "Patriot" would follow the trail of the filter. Where did the raw materials come from for the filter? where was it manufactured? how was it shipped to the store? Who put it on the shelf? If a dirty librul ever touched it then it can't be certified as "non-woke"
Not sure but the water out of your faucet is much less likely to have something wrong with it and if it is not completely free it is very very close to it.
Not from Nestle
But also from Nestlé. They won't say no to money.
You can put Going Green on a plastic coke bottle, doesn't mean it's green haha. You are 100% right though, Nestle would sell anything they could get their cock holders on
Sometimes, I wish I lacked a sense of guilt. I could make so much money conning these people...
But then if I lacked a sense of guilt, I'd be one of them.
Mood. Maybe make a bunch of money conning them and donate directly to causes they oppose?
I'd feel guilty just about the lying part to be honest.
If you don't con them, someone else will. Although their values will usually align so there is that.
It's not about them.
You are a good person and the revolution needs you.
Thank you.
They just keep fleecing the rubes and the rubes just keep letting them
It looks so easy 😭 I wish I had the starting capital and lack of morals to start one of these grifts.
Just print out the word “freedom” in size 72 times new roman on your printer (doesn’t matter if it won’t fit on one line) and tape it to some blank t-shirts. Go to a Republican event and sell them
New Non-Woke Freedom Shirts! Get your Non-Woke Freedom Shirts!
Snowflakes. Incredibly infantile in their "freedom fries" kind of way.
I hate to say it, but Dems should be trying to reclaim the word "freedom". It makes absolutely no sense for Cons to be attached to it so strongly. We need more freedom fries and liberty toast.
I think they do, it's just not repeated ad-nauseam and attached to everything like the Cons do. Free to be LGBTQ, free to read the books you want, free to organize labor, etc... Real, tangible, life-improving freedoms. Cons? All they want is freedom to take everyone else's rights away. That's their "freedom".
But that's the thing. The Dems want to campaign like they have for the past century, going out and making sensible campaign stops every so often. Obama was trying to change this, and honestly had the right of it - you blast your message everywhere, all at once, KEEP REPEATING IT, and shorten the general gist until it can fit in a meme.
Anti-woke fries.
Black Rifle Coffee, so anti-woke, you'll go back to bed.
They could have been drinking the same water as the blue team. Disgusting.
What's that, Nestle?
Nope, Nestle is too woke. Anything that doesn't say "Freedom" is too woke.
Ironic because freedom is also woke.
Pumped downstream of some chemical factories on the great Mississippi river for that slight hint of deregulation flavor.
Same way grandaddy did it!
Now with extra lead!
That's just what I was thinking. It should contain added microplastics and industrial waste. And it should come in bottles made of plastic that cant' be recycled and never breaks down. That would be the proper way to support right wing environmental policies. It would also be another "don't get vaccinated" way for them to kill their own supporters.
Well, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of.
And isn’t in the top 10 for these guys.
Is there a single generic product these imbeciles won't line up to buy if you slap trumps face, or the word freedumb, or the anti-woke label on it? I should have been a grifter.
I jokingly asked my wife recently if I could quit my job and become a right wing YouTuber. I have worked in video and audio production for over a decade, I would have an operation up and running in probably a week if I really wanted to do it. We laughed and sighed…And then realized that unfortunately, I would probably be at least modestly successful.
I think the way you need to do it is The Onion style of journalism, with a wink and a nod. BUT when your crazy ass right wing theories get shared as "FACTS" on other social media sites you don't dispute it. I kinda think that is how most right wing YouTubers do it.
Rebooting The Colbert Report
Chew-anon
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vcZWxYXpWWY
It's not too late
We're almost at the "Brawndo" level of Idiocracy.
I liked it better when W.C. Fields was attributed to have said it (although it isn't definite that he did).
He did say some fun things in about booze in films though:
He also once said something serious which is also my own policy:
This is their version of corporate pride month merch.
Republicans will buy damned near anything out of spite.
This sincerely might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t even have words anymore
anti-woke water is what i call my nighttime melatonin drink
I'll stick to refilling old bottles with tap water.
You should use a reusable water bottle for that purpose though. Don't reuse single-use plastic like that
Normally one puts used 2-liter pop bottles into recycling.
Occasionally I reuse one a few times.
Why would I buy a water bottle when I essentially have one—at times several—already?
Because even the food safe plastics are proven to leach microplastics and volatile compounds into your water?
There's a good chance the water into your tap comes from plastic pipes.
At all plastic is made the same
Water bottle is literally cheapest shit there is..
You can see sml pices of plastic on the bottle fraying when you buy it.
Not am expert but PVC is a bit different ...
But point stands, there is just nuance to it.
We got any petro bros to clarify around?
I'm a plumber and it's a well known fact that there is some amount of chemicals leaching into water from PVC, PEX and composite pipes. Enough to cause harm? Who knows.
Also, microplastics are in the air we breathe. It's pretty much impossible to avoid that so I wouldn't worry too much about re-using single use bottles. There are more important things to pay attention to if one wants to live a long and healthy life such as staying lean and excercising.
Plastic Pipes, Microplastics & Human Health
Thanks for the link.
Maybe, but such would be insufficient, IMO.
We must cease using all plastic:
plastic shopping bags, plastic textile bags, nylon, polyester, food wrap, margarine tubs, most electronics, automobiles, electric bikes, pedal bikes, definitely tires, plastic sandwich bags, tea bags, pens, chewing gum, filters, plastic pill bottles, plastic syringes, plastic in diapers, plastic in bandages, plastic in tampons, use only glass bottles for shampoos and conditioners, non-plastic combs and brushes, (most) imitation leather, plastic election signs, plastic gardening pots and trays, plastic garden hoses, plastic piping, plastic fuel containers, plastic casings for batteries, plastic electric chords, plastic in masks for the next pandemic, etc.
well fuck.
Nah you're right, you should just keep using the same old sunlight-degraded Fuji bottle you've been using. Who cares if you're drinking polyethylene, hell boil some coffee in that bad boy. Fuck minimizing exposure, it's nothing to me champ, drink up.
Dude he’s clearly not running this thing for years. A freshly acquired water bottle can be used two or three times over a couple of days. You aren’t going to die. When I was in Germany people reused their plastic bottles constantly. They would keep a giant bottle of whatever they wanted to fill it with in the fridge, and they would fill the smaller (used) plastic bottles, which they would wash and use few times before recycling. This is an incredibly common practice and it’s largely fine. You’re just trying to win an internet argument by making it sound like someone is digging out some crusty, crumbling years old plastic and eating the shavings for a snack.
TL;DR: reusing a (cleaned) plastic water bottle a few times before tossing it is not going to kill you.
Yeah I mostly agree with you and was largely being hyperbolic.
But really, I got a nice double-walled metal bottle awhile ago and it's a game changer, I top it off with ice and fresh (filtered) water from my fridge in the morning and I have fresh, icey water all day. And I'm not consuming a bunch of single-use plastic in the process, highly recommend.
edit: also, apathetic accelerationist doomers piss me off
You aint wrong but metal bottles are now a fad and cost like 30 bucks, which for most "western working people" aint that much. That's still decent cash for majority of the world esp to spend on a bottle... i already lost a few since i started with reusable, so need to budget for that too. Also, if i lose my reusable, yes i am getting less plastic but lost metal bottle if trashed prolly had bigger carbon impact.
I don't use ice nor do I use filters: just straight from the tap.
Those go into recycling, which, IIUC, mostly go into the landfill because Toronto doesn't rigourously enforce preparing and sorting recyclables enough.
For a while I used a 1.5 liter vodka bottle (mostly as a lark) but it got broken.
Metal containers also aren't transparent—I like to see what I'm drinking.
If re-use of plastic isn't the answer, then recycling is definitely not the answer.
At least 8 billion humans must stop using plastic.
Perhaps a more realistic solution would be to sterilize humanity now: that way, by 2099, the environment will start to significantly improve.
Yes. Instead of using the bottle you already have you should buy a new bottle!
Yes. Microplastics leech into your water when you reuse a single-use plastic bottle.
Microplastics are in the air we breathe and the water you're filling your re-usable bottle with likely comes to the tap via plastic pipes.
Moralizing people for re-using single-use plastic bottles is just virtue signaling. It's basically impossible to avoid microplastics and if one cares about their health there are things you can do that have orders of magnitude greater impact on it such as staying lean and excercising.
Avoidance isn't my goal. Reduction is. Might be the same for the other commentor
Drink out of what you want, but I like being able to scrub my reusable bottle.
Thanks, dope ass logic. Let’s just ingest more plastic!!!!
Water bottle business and how boomers fell for it is microcosm of how modern America works.
Problem is now Republicans around the US are banning fluoride in our water, so who knows what else they’re going to ruin re: municipal water supplies. If they had their druthers we’d all be exclusively drinking bottled water.
Woke water, anti-woke water; all bottled by Nestle!
Republicans: Keep political statements out of my sports/TV/video games/etc!
Also Republicans: You can now make drinking water a political statement!
Fixed that for you.
They obviously discovered the compounds that make the frogs gay!
Nowhere does it claim to be anti-woke except at the rage bait headline.
And the whole Twitter video they posted.
She doesn't use the word "woke" in it even once. I also don't think the person posting it has anything to do with the company.
You're going to ignore the entire thrust of the marketing because of the absence of one word?
The title of the article is intentionally misleading readers for clicks and rage bait. They're not calling it "anti-woke water", thedailybeast is. The name of the brand is Freedom2o. Is freedom anti-woke?
They're even talking about how their water is good for the environment.
Sounds pretty woke to me!
Are you on the spectrum? I ask because your "but it isn't 100% literally this thing" is the sort of overly pedantic and literalist thing I would do myself.
Would it make you feel better if you noted that the scrolling red banner at the top of the website does in fact have "this water ain't woke" among other similar sayings? And there is a "This drink ain't woke" Yeti cooler.
Does that help?
Very likely.
I went to their website and did not see such banner but if that indeed is the case then that's all the proof I need to admit I was wrong.
Does it make me feel better? No, it makes me feel sad.