Seven Corndogs

ZeroCool@feddit.ch to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 720 points –
58

My kids only eat the dog. They rip off and discard the delicious corn coating like it's a banana peel. Why don't we just offer them regular hot dogs, you ask? We do, but "they don't taste the same." Monsters. So now we don't buy corn dogs because I'm not paying corn dog prices for hot dog meals.

My partner does almost the same thing, she eats the skin off completely and then eats the hot dog part you know, like a psychopath

I can't fault her for that. I eat sandwiches crust first. She's basically doing the same thing.

I do the same and the logic is with us. Crust first ensures you will not experience any toppings or condiments running away. You get everything behaving itself riiight in the middle. That might just be me; I am obsessed with condiments.

I prefer the taste of non-crust over crust, so it allows me to savor that which I truly enjoy

You check the ingredients? Corn dogs are often chicken sausages, whereas normal hot dogs are usually beef/pork?

I imagine you gotta get that hint of sweet and gritty leftover corn wrap, too, though. And the crunchy bit at the bottom. It's a delicacy that's hard to re-create.

We tried to make our own corn dogs, thinking that would be cheaper for them to destroy, but they didn't like them.

try the nekked hot dogs on a stick for the kids. just tell 'em you took the 'gross skin' off already for them.

Tried it. Even tried making my own batter that I then rip off. It's not the same was the response.

Yeah Mr Moneybags where would I even get 7 corndogs?

I'm no American, but I'm assuming they're using cornmeal in that batter. I can't eat cornmeal and will certainly regret it.

Why am I suddenly craving olives?

7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.

Cooking up seven corndogs seems like more effort than making a quick meal.

I don't even have a corndog cooker.

You are not supposed to make them. Just eat 7 of them.

If I'm going to the trouble of picking corn and catching a dog, I'm not going to eat them raw like some heathen.

Oven works fine. Though at that point a frozen pizza or frozen anything would be better.

Look, it's not like you have to chop an onion.

Literally just the microwave it doesn't get easier haha

An air fryer is a game changer. Unbelievably convenient for preparing 7 corndogs and other lazy meals like grilled salmon filet and asparagus.

I've heard this... I have a massive dehydrator for jerky and dog treats, and yet I have no kitchen appliances lol. Maybe I should adult more and splash out.

6 more...

This meme lies. I followed its instructions and ate 7 corn dogs including the stick and now I have a belly ache.

Also, I'm pooping blood. Is that normal?

this reads somewhere between Neil Cicirega lyrics and Clerks dialogue