I need to survive for 3 days while pooping as much as possible. I can pee as often as I like. It can take up loads of space. What food do I pack?
Please don’t ask why I need this.
It would be great if the food also made me sweat a lot.
It doesn't need to be something I can easily find.
Can't believe lemmy already has volume enough for this level of shitposting 🥲
Shit posting, nice.
Lemmy's first inside joke, I'm so proud
Edit: Link for the uninitiated
We did it boys! New low-effort meta shitpost any% world record!!!
This shall go down as the first meta shit post in the history of Lemmy. I love it!
Oh wow, a topic for which I'm somewhat of an expert.
Get a box of cornbread mix. Dump it in a bowl. Add milk. Stir and then consume with a spoon. If you want some violence to your shits then mix a considerable amount of crushed red pepper before the milk while it's still a dry powder. The milk will help dull the impact of the CRP as you're eating it but not as it's passing, and passing fast.
With this method you should be able to make a load of poop that floats a bit and will pile up above the water line, significantly increasing the stench you leave in the bathroom.
The amateur enhancement is to also slam down a number of Fibercon tablets, but if you want to amp this up to pro-level defecation then go look in the supplements section for some stuff called "chitosan". It's like ground up shrimp and crustacean shell, and it bonds to fats so instead of being absorbed they pass through you. That plus a bunch of fatty stuff from other suggestions you'll be receiving will take your adventure to the next level. This plus swapping in heavy whipping cream for the cornbread concoction then you'll probably have bowel movements so horrible you'll have to register them with some kind of government agency.
Good luck and may your toilet paper be the good stuff.
Yeah this reads as fairly sarcastic, but your advice is extremely specific.
I am thinking you know your shit.
Holy litteral shit.
Question: what kind of absolute hell would I go through if I did all of this after not pooping for 3 days?
Bonus: how bad would this be if I was actively constipated?
Is this the first lemmy meme? Send this shit to archive.org
History in the making
This is the high quality content I come here for.
And a new lemmy/kbin specific meme is born. O glorious day!
Oh no. Is this our "test post please ignore"?
test shit please ignore
Some people say we can't have nice things.
Those people don't read this thread lol.
Stover's Chocolates made with stevia. Eat 1 pound over a day or so. Tried and true formula.
This! What is up with that candy?
It's the stevia, it's a sweetener but also a laxative. There's a certain brand of soda that uses stevia as its sweetener also and will have the same effect.
Then you could just eat the stevia to save on money and calories
Stage 1:
Stage 2:
consume stage 1 & wait 3 hours. consume stage 2. repeat as necessary
GOOD advice to preserve 1 gallon of space in the bucket. Proper ladle size for this application will require large displacement.
Mmh i like opposite posting
I have a good option here: Dairy.
Basically, your body can only produce so much Lactase (the thing that breaks down Lactose) at a time. Lactose intolerant people barely produce any Lactase, which is why eating a tiny bit of cheese is OK for them, but they'll explosively shit themselves if they have a glass of milk.
Anyways, you have a lactase limit, time to find it. An added bonus of this strategy is that your options are a bit more varied: You can load up on cheeses, milkshakes, cream puffs, cheesecake. Regular old milk has the most lactose though, so if you want to shit yourself plentifully and violently, bring a ton of that (and whatever other foods you want, the milk will do the work here). Just don't try and chug a whole gallon of milk in under 20 minutes, you'll vomit because it will dilute your stomach acid until instead of digesting it, it'll curdle in your stomach.
Thanks I hate vomozarella.
Eat the milk with some Kellogg's All-Bran buds. They're like 60% fiber by weight.
I'll just leave this here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqbvu8jZBOw
Jesus Christ. I'm glad that video is only in 480p, somethings don't need to be in 4k.
So uhh, step one: get cholera (it lives on shellfish, and plankton do with this what you will, lick some shells or something)
Step two: ingest cholera
Step three: try not to die
Literal shit posting.
I was here for the first lemmy meme
The funny thing is, because lemmy is so small basicly everybody instantly knows whats going on
Habanero protein shakes with extra coconut oil.
Google colonoscopy prep
Holy crap
New turd just dropped
Eff it, commenting to show I was here
You and me both
I too had to go on a trip with people I hate
Not said yet but just some salt dissolved in water. I remember not pooping for a week coming out of a hospital stay that had me on morphine. Tried the stool softeners and such. But lemme tell you. An 8oz glass of warm water with a teaspoon of salt and 30 minutes later it was go time. When I say go time I mean be ready, when it hits there will be no delaying it.
I was here
To the best of my understanding what you need to do is go to Ryan's steakhouse or try Haribo sugarless gummy bears
Edit: formatting
Or this review of fiction also read by @uselesslesbian2405 on youtube
Golf clap
Lol nice. The answer is milkshakes and spicy chilli dogs
Epic tier shitpost. Thanks for posting for the de-fedded instances that can't see @mizu@lemmy.world 's post.
Lemmy Lore
Literal shitpost
Taco Bell. Let the toilet know you'll be back amigo.
Commenting to show that I was here for the first Lemmy moment.
Might as well include me in the screenshot too. I was here
Today is a good day.
Have you heard of the establishment known as Taco Bell? It should check all of your boxes.
does taco bell really make people shit all that much? i feel like i have never noticed such an effect...
I think it depends on the person. I’m usually fine with it but I know people who would be out of commission for two days after a single Doritos locos taco.
You need nuts/seeds. Peanuts, sunflower seeds, almonds, walnuts, pistachios. Any high fiber nut and seed will do. If you can get it in bulk, the better. Like 10lbs should last you for well beyond 10 days. But if you need to shit your brains out, well, uh. There it is.
coffee, cigarettes, and a third stimulant.
You're gonna need a bigger knife
If you have any preparation time, then Psyllium husk (sold as metamucil for one brand example) with lots of water. This would win on sheer volume, HOWEVER, if you take too much then constipation.
Half a spoonful a day with at least 2 cups of water
Chipotle
Get the Starbucks poop potion
This was my thought, some high fiber foods and coffee.
Just walk between a Starbucks and Taco Bell for 3 days
Did you not hear about the poop potion?
Come over. I'm sure I can cook you some diarrhea-inducing food. It'll be spicy as hell, so sweating and peeing gets sorted too. And I'm sure it's not going to be easy to find.
Why are there so many experts on this topic.
This just proves the point there are a lot of people full of shit?
Is this the first Lemmy legend story, like the jolly rancher one is for Reddit?
You could eat a posterior
Not what I was expecting in my feed, not going to lie. But I think as strange as this question is, it bodes well for original content on Lemmy... unfortunately.
That being said anything with a laxative effect should do the trick. For lots of pooping and sweating you could go with the sugar-free gummy bears on Amazon.
This is cheating, that stuff doesn't count as food.
I had some sugar-free gelatin once, ate the whole bowl in one shot. Turns out it was sweetened with sugar alcohols which is similar to what's in those gummies and the results were notable. That's the secret ingredient, sugar alcohol. Monk fruit sugar has it too and a few spoons of that and you'll have stories to tell.
What you need is medication, not food.
Get a bunch of laxatives, stool softener (if you need it juicy) and even some lactaose and senna if you're real keen.
Then eat a shitload of greasy food and you're set.
leaving a comment for when this thread pops up on some YouTubers history of Lemmy video
Kiwis Red pepper flakes Spinach Water
You can add these to a blender to help digest even faster.
You can also pick up some high fiber cereal.
But yeah I think your stomach is not going to be happy.
I hear MCT oil is wonderful for nearly uncontrollable pooping. That, and bring lots of "sugar free" candy.
The fuck is wrong with you Greg
So,... to pass your D-test... :D... Laxative in recommended doses, liver and kidney purifier as Uroperine (again, recommended doses), and gallons of water ;-)
Omg. I love Lemmy already. This is the hardest I’ve laughed at a post in a long time. Bravo.
This is some weird kink stuff isn't it
OP is mailing himself across the country.
Low effort memes. It was good while it lasted, the one thing I do not miss from Reddit
Drink a can of sauerkraut juice and within a couple hours there will be nothing solid left in your body. Repeat a couple times a day, I guess?
well, time for me to unsubscribe from this community....
You don't like the occasional chuckle?
Who doesn't?
Not my type of humor. But cheers, to those who like it.
Dave's killer bread. Beans.
I'm sure I saw exactly this question posted elsewhere yesterday...
This is the polar opposite of the other post.
I was confused too, thought it was the same post just with way less comments. Well played.
Earlier post with the same question
OP here asks the opposite question
Again this post? I mean of course you are doing the opposite version, the original one asked what to take in order Not to Poop over those 3 days but damn. Is this a new meme or shitposting trend?
Literal shitposting
What other post are you talking about?
This one?
https://lemmy.world/post/440073
That's a strange coincidence
I appreciate you.