How do you moderate yourself?

SamXavia@kbin.run to Games@lemmy.world – 108 points –

I seem to have a problem with moderating myself when it comes to playtime on Video Games, How do you keep yourself from just endlessly playing games?

124

Umm… having a job? Takes care of that problem very easily.

@Raphipod So I can't really get a normal job but hope to create my own business to fill up my 'non-gaming time'. It's just trying to not slowly fill that time up with "You know I'll play a game" and then loose another 3 days just mindlessly gaming for hours on end.

Wait 10-20 years. Play games that are way too large and complex for your attention span. Build up such a huge Steam backlog that whenever you try to play a game, you feel guilty about all the ones you're not playing. Play games that require reflexes better than the ones you have.

Using these tricks, I've cut my gaming time down almost to zero!

Yep. If you're a teen and worrying about enjoying video games too much, just enjoy it while it lasts. There a lot of worse stuff you could be doing, like meth.

@PeterPoopshit Not a Teen Sadly, I'm 21 and need to better for myself.

When you're 30, addicted to alcohol, have a shitty job and have a hard time enjoying anything anymore you'll look back on these times with envy I promise. Being able to play video games all day and experiencing drug-use like fulfillment from it is a superhuman power in and of itself.

Stay away from alcohol and drugs for as long as you can.

@PeterPoopshit Don't worry I have parents that have experienced drugs and alcohol to the fullest so I stay away from them. The problem is that gaming for me is destructive especially for the possible future I could have with a career, worst case I hope I fall back into Video Games and just mindlessly play them, best case I actually do something with my life and make a difference at least from what I feel like I've done.

@lolcatnip That's pretty much how I've gained my gaming addiction, like there's way to many games to play ok back to the same game and for a really long time.

Oh man you me. But when I want to play I just wait for weekend. Besides that I don't have the time. My collecting gotten worse though thanks to Epic.

Do you play games, or do you play a game endlessly. If it's games then it might be easier to sprinkle other activities into the mix like learning to play a musical instrument, etc. If it's a game, especially if it's a live service game, MMO, hatch's, etc, then they might have successfully tapped into "your formula", in which case if recommend dropping the game entirely. Games like that are specifically designed to keep you playing indefinitely.

Source: I'm a former Destiny addict.

As a lifetime gamer (40s) staying away from 'service' games with an endless endgame really does help for self regulation. If there is 'a game' that you just zonk out on the gameplay loop thats the blurst. If I get a game I like it to be a game with a conrete ending now, there is a 'final' final boss, there is a dungeon meant to be the last challege. If it's just 'SUPER HARD AREA X WITH DROPRATE OF THING YOU WANT' fuck that. Especially if you hear game dev talk about having to design these kind of casino models really turns you off to them.

@FunkyMonk I'm glad I never have really got into MMOs. Thank you, I'll most likely have to seek help but hopefully with some of the things people have suggested I can at least take the first steps to helping my life.

So true, I have to do this with some predatory mobile game or another every year or two. Sometimes one of them just gets you.

@JoMiran I luckily haven't got into MMOs as of yet, it seems that I end up playing different games but will play each one endlessly the main problem is that I use gaming as a way to relax from stress but then lose myself inside of it. The more I look at it, the more I feel I need therapy over it as it seems like a addiction I will most likely not get out of without help.

Honestly, mine came about organically with other responsibilities and interests.

Earlier on, I'd moderated myself but picking up another hobby, like playing bass guitar and adding that into my priorities.

Once out of college, other priorities, like making better than decent meals, my significant other, and continuing my tabletop RPG crew kinda helped me stop spending endless weekend or day off hours on a game.

Probably, the largest piece for me is having a family and a friend group that I care to keep up with. When I was younger, I escaped through games, but now I use them more like how I use a book or TV series and look for experiences I'll find meaningful instead of just grinding rep or xp points in a loop.

@iltoroargento Thank you, I feel like pushing for some of the other hobbies I have such as Video Editing is a more healthy way to express myself. Sometimes it feels like I just get swallowed by the idea of gaming.

Totally get that. And of course!

I think stuff that gets you out of the same headspace and even room in which you game can help reprioritize things.

Video editing is a super useful skill and it may make you want to go out and capture different shots or compile something for someone else, too. My highschool buddy started getting into AV stuff a while ago and just did a really good job compiling the highlights of another of our friend's weddings and I guarantee all of us are gonna keep that file on some drive for a long time!

As others have said, if it's that progression loop kinda thing you're stuck in like with an MMO or online shooter, I say kick that stuff as fast as you can.

If you really wanna keep going with some of the MMO stuff, look into hosting your own game. My buddies and I love old school World of Warcraft and finally decided to host our own server which has been a game changer.

Idk if that's all gonna be applicable, but you can cut down or out a lot of stuff by just identifying what "itch" is scratched by your gaming. If you take steps to control how you consume that media, you are more aware of the time commitment and effect it has on you.

Hope that helps and it's awesome you're looking to introspect about your hobbies!

By staying the fuck away from MMOs. 😂 🙃

@FoundTheVegan I don't actually play any MMOs, never have really grabbed my attention but still doesn't stop me from endlessly playing games due to them being Round-Based or never-ending games like Minecraft. Thanks for the advice though.

Multiplayer games in general are hard to regulate. MMO's, Mobas, FPS, ARPGs. This games are designed to swallow weeks of your life before you react. When I stopped playing these type of games it didn't become as much of a problem to regulate my gaming.

Write down what an optimal day for someone your age, in your living area, looks like. Weekly activities. Exercise. Etc. Start implementing the we things into your life at a pace that isn't to slow but not too fast either.

Set goals what most of your days should consist of. Most days. Don't set routines that are too nailed down. Don't go overboard. Excersise three times a week? Two days need to be back to back but the third can be anytime during the week? Things like that.

Work this into your routine. Take one step at a time.

If I regret one thing at the age of 37 it would be not having some kind of exercise in my weekly routine from my early 20s. I would be in sooo much better shape, have more energy, be more alert.

Balance in everything is key.

@hogart Thank you, Even know I don't have issues with weight (at least not over weight) this is really helpful. I know I can't go full cold turkey over the games otherwise I fall back into them hard and it's good to see other people say to slowly get myself off them. Luckily I never have got into the MMO side of things as I'm sure I wouldn't even be messaging to people online at the point, I mainly play round-based games such as CounterStrike, limiting my play and replacing it with something else slowly is probably the way to go. Thank you.

I'm not overweight either. But I wouldn't wanna look at the inside of my body. I'm probably an overweight person I skinny body. Mental health is a big thing. As in having a fresh mind, able to focus on semi mundane tasks, keeping a good temper, etc. If you manage to gain just a small amount of muscle every year that's just a bonus. Glad my post made some sense to you. Tried summerising the things I think matters for everyone regardless of individual situation. Stay good!

Have children. You’ll be too tired to play more than 30 minutes a night

@TORFdot0 I know I hate myself but I really don't hate myself to go out of my way and have a child, also as a lesbian, no thank you.

Have any pets? Gotta take my dog for walks and make sure he’s taken care of on regular intervals.

You have to find other outlets.

It’s a long process with therapy etc…

But you have to find something else that’s more important to you. Video games are designed to appeal to your need for quick feedback, and it’s awful

This may require some significant lifestyle changes.

Finding a hobby does not involve therapy lmao literally just try different activities until something makes you feel like you are playing your favorite game.

That's basically what a therapist would tell someone anyways. Therapy can't make you magically find the new hobby you like.

@Mago In another comment I got suggested to Gamify my life a little as that could help with being stuck on games all the time, what I feel might be the best route to go as unless I end up doing E-Sports or something I probably won't quite get that 'itch'.

If you want to maybe get into art or something I can provide resources or recommend novels and all if that's your thing. Would that help?

@ArbiterXero Thank you, I can't afford Therapy sadly, What I know would be a really helpful tool not only for dealing with my possible gaming addiction but other struggles that I use gaming to help 'mend'.

I know from years of small experience that I am interested in Video Editing and I know that's one of the things I'd like to make time for instead of gaming. I know it's going to take time especially as I don't want to lose gaming fully from my life as it's a good relaxant.

Get married and have a kid, you'll moderate yourself quickly, don't you worry about that my friend.

@Ghostlight I have a partner, I'm Trans (lesbian) and never want kids.

Embrace the lesbian stereotype. Adopt a dozen cats or dogs and start a wholesome small business. Bam, no more free time

I agree with what others have said about gamifying life. For example, 'oh it's 5pm, I need to spend 30 minutes doing some tidying before I can play a game again'. And for games with no clear end point, set yourself goals so you know when to take a break. 'Once I've built this factory, I need to take an hour's break before I can play again'.

@OmegaMouse It's actually what I've been trying out today, I didn't know that's what people meant by Gamify your life I more thought they were saying to give myself a score for doing tasks and stuff.

Currently doing play a game of CS2, if I win then I have less work to do but if I lose I have to do twice the amount of work and then I can go back on. This is almost like a reward / punishment system for myself to try and not only play the game (or not lol) and then just do the task. Once I have no tasks left I'm free to enjoy what ever game I like without worrying about they I got that thing to do.

I hope this could possibly work in the long run.

Yeah I guess that's my take on 'gamifying things', but there's probably a few different ways to do it. I've heard that in psychology, rewards are a lot more effective than punishments - so maybe frame it slightly differently. Personally I wouldn't base things on how well you do in the game, because that could get frustrating - in the worst scenario you'll already be annoyed at doing poorly in the game, and that's followed by having to do more work. Instead I'd spin it, so if you do all the tidying reward yourself with an hour of gaming. If you get all your chores done, you get 2 hours of gaming etc.

@OmegaMouse I guess that could work, I would really just have to try which method would work for me in the end but I will hopefully get to the point I still get to enjoy the games I like as well as do the things I should / need to do.

Short attention span leading to doing gaming in short bursts. Sometimes I lose interest in games for months and get more into the mood to watch TV shows and movies. Then lose interest in that and move to reading then lose interest in that and going back to gaming. Rinse and repeat. Has helped me avoid the whole not having fun with games anymore threads that I'd see a lot, since my focus just naturally shifts back and forth to keep things feeling fresh.

@NightOwl I seem to go through a similar cycle, that or I end up merging my gaming with also watching the shows / movies I want to watch. I'm more trying to make time for things such as Video Editing as well as other 'hobbie' based things that are more likely to earn money.

Depression? Don't try that at home, would not recommend!

@Scrof Oh don't worry already went through a lot of Depression, it seems to be one of the reasons I play Video Games. To 'escape' from the real world it's just getting in the way of some of the things that might make me happy such as Video Editing.

When you get older it gets harder and harder to play video games frequently.

@kandoh I'm 21, Moved out of home and don't have to work... I have nothing but time and that's the problem.

That's nothing to feel guilty about as long as you're not neglecting trying to find a job and self improvement. Your 20s are rough, all opportunities available are pretty shitty and exploit your energy and inexperience. Videogames are a great way to stay sane during this.

@kandoh I know my career path is right there with Video Editing I just seem to end up doing games over editing and it's something that I will most likely have to seek professional help in the future for.

I can maybe squeeze in an hour of gaming every third day if I am efficient (work and household stuff) and lucky. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, just there are many games I want to experience so I have to be very selective.

For me, it's that a game is a big time and energy investment. I'm hesitant to jump in.

@kandoh That's what I'm normally like for bigger games but then I always find some game that can just fill up my time to the point I've paid twice the amount of time the 'Big' game would have.

I had this happen with me for Hearthstone. It's so easy and quick to play that it ends up taking up a huge chunk of time.

Once I stopped playing it though, nothing else could really fill the void. So my playtime decreased and never really recovered

I recommend having no job and having the feeling that you're wasting your life and feel like a NEET. That always helps me stop playing games

@Monster96 I have both Autism and Fibromyalgia so I have been registered as never being able to work. My goal is not to go full no Video Games what is the hard part, The Games I play just get in the way of the the possible carer I feel I can create for myself (Video Editing if your wondering) but they also regulate my stress and i've tried going full cold turkey with them before and my life got to one of the lowest points due to no stress regulation. Thanks for the comment though.

I think the best way to moderate gaming addiction is to be deliberate and disciplined about your goals. I love gaming and don't want to be interrupted, so I try to deal with responsibilities first, to get more enjoyment out of an uninterrupted gaming session. Make hard rules for yourself. You want to be fit? Work out before gaming. You don't even need a great workout routine; consistency will get you there. Use your drive for gaming to reach your goals. That's my opinion

@Curdie Today I've been trying something where I can play a CS2 (One of the main games I've been playing lately) but I can only play one game (One Round what ever you want to call it). If I lose the game I have to edit my video I've been holding off on for quite a while down by another 30 minutes of footage, If I win I have to still edit but I can edit anywhere between 10 minutes to 20 minutes of footage down. So far this seemed to have helped a little bit and I hope it will get easier as I have less of a backlog of videos to edit through.

Nice! That approach would be terrible for me but I'm stoked you're finding things that work for you. What kind of video are you editing that contains so much footage? If you don't mind me asking.

@Curdie I don't mind at all, I've done little vlogs and stuff in the past my last recording session for about 3-4 months ago for Trans Pride Brighton where I was in the march and got lots of footage, I also had a slight holiday for another day or so in Brighton so got a lot of recordings well I was there.

I don't like being interrupted while gaming so as a student I study till a certain hour than I do whatever (maybe gaming) till 11PM

@WeLoveCastingSpellz I find if I even tried doing that I wouldn't stop after 11 lol

Maybe lay off video games for a while till you manage to accumulate a level of willpower that lets you cobtroll yourself easier while gaming. At your situation professional help from someone who knows about this shit might be better help.

@WeLoveCastingSpellz I tried to go full 'Cold Turkey' before but it just made me even worse and fell in even harder than I normally am to the point I was staying up for days on end just playing games. I know I need to seek professional help but it costs.

If youre adhd try gamifying aspects of your life.

@bonus_crab I have Autism but I suspect that I most likely have ADHD as well, I've thought about this before and it really interested me do you have any recommended apps to manage gamifying my life?

I started making one but never finished it lol. otherwise not rlly, tho im sure theres some out there

I only really tend to play with a group of mates - the most fun to play with is like four or five hours ahead of me, so when they hop off, the whole group tends to head off at the same time. If we don’t, it’s usually just a smaller game that we have fun with for like an hour before finishing.

Basically, I push being responsible off onto someone who is actually responsible.

My big thing after graduating like others have said we're other hobbies, I got into painting, 3d printing, sometimes just watching TV. Most of the games I play now are single player I hardly play multiplayer games anymore. I used to be too into destiny and games like that but I just eventually wanted to play games I could pause and go do other shit

@Jaeger86 I have other hobbies in Video Editing and stuff, I just always seem to put them to the side to play games or watch TV. The further I look through the comments the more I feel I might just have an addiction to gaming.

Listen, if you are neglecting your household chores or other important duties, then it doesn't really matter how much time you spend playing games. Time you enjoyed spending is never wasted, and if you enjoy playing games on your downtime, then do it.

@AphoticDev It not only get's in the way of household chores but also physical health ones that I should be doing.

Hire a cleaner if you can afford it. Then integrate exercise into gaming, like Pokemon Go or high intensity VR games.

@Kit Exercise isn't the problem as I'm actually really underweight and can't put it on. It's more the case of making sure to take showers, eating and getting fresh air, stuff like that.

The way my morning routine around showers work is that I bring the clothes I will be wearing that day to the bathroom with me when I go to the toilet in the morning, and then after the toilet I undress my pjamas and immediately take a shower and then I get dressed for the day.

This can also be done if I decide to shower in the evening then I go to the bathroom have a shower, brush my teeth and then but on my pjamas that was on a shelf in the bathroom already.

Could something like that work for hygiene, you have to go to the toilet so take the shower while your in there. And have a change of clothes on a shelf or drawer in there so you can just put the new stuff on afterwards.

@SgtAStrawberry That could help, I think one of the key things I need to look in getting is a shower cap as I know my hair doesn't need cleaning everyday and there's a lot of it to dry every day.

If you need a shower cap to shower more and comfortable then definitely get one. I never really got the point of them.

In my country we have hand showers or have a hand shower together with a fixed one in newer places. The only exceptions are public places like gym. So we don't have as much of a need for shower caps, we can just not aim the water towards the hair. The only one I have actually seen in real life was one that came free with some magazine.

@SgtAStrawberry That's fair enough, I know it's something that I will most likely need as my fair is quite long (As you can probably see in my PFP) and it's quite bad to clean your hair everyday but thank you for all the suggestions.

Then you should absolutely get one, and what lovely colours you have in your PFP, I definitely understand wanting to be careful with that.

If your gaming addiction is impacting your self care to that level you need to seek therapy. It will help.

@Kit I understand therapy will help me in the long run it's just unaffordable as of the moment, as soon as I can afford it I will be getting regular therapy sessions as I really do need them.

Check for low income mental health clinics. They tend to offer counseling and sometimes therapy by volunteers.

@Kit I know about one a charity in the local area that does have 'counselling' but I have had a LOT of feedback about how they are and they are really not equipped for things such as Addiction, Autism or being Trans so it seems like they are not an option, I will see if I can make an appointment for my doctor to go through a many things I need help with.

Best thing to do for me is to just look at the clock and set a time to get off, depending on the length I want to sit down it's usually 1-3 hours. Usually when that time comes around I notice what I'm doing in game and realize without that time limiting I would probably stay on for way longer.

I'm glad they got rid of that huge light on the controller with the PS5.

How do you enjoy playing video games endlessly when life is passing you by, skills are going unlearnt and passions undiscovered?

@kttnpunk I think it's because I've had a lot of issues in my past and not many people want me around in life so that's a stuggle, So I end up doing the only thing that seems to want me, what is Video Games.

I have a passion in Video Editing that I'm trying to replace some of my Video Game habits with, my first day of attending to do some and then game for a round or so and then back to editing went pretty good, hopefully I can get to the stage I just work on projects instead of gaming all the time.

Video games are experiences. I feel like I live to experience different experiences. It's all the sources of entertainment media and art all crafted in one experience.

Not learning some skill isn't a big deal. There's a number of skills I have developed but then dropped for several years. Only to come back and feel like I have to start from scratch again. You then learn that not all of your time needs to be devoted to a skill that has limited value in return.

Video games can also be a passion to some.

It's pretty self moderating. Every 5 years or so there's a game i might be mildly interested in, play it for a few hours until I'm bored of it. Rinse and repeat

@andyMFK That would be nice, I seem to move towards games that have repeatable play like Minecraft, CS2 and ETS2. I always seem to struggle with keeping a good work, game and life balance.

By living on student loan and playing them endlessly until I got bored of the lack of things I haven't seen before 😂. Now Im bored of them I managed to land a good paying job but it mostly goes towards paying the student loan 😅

I make games a fallback activity. If I can go be social, I'll pick that instead. I date people so I try to spend time with them.

I set timers. Every hour or two the timer goes off, and I have to go do something else. Either something productive like an errand or just something not on the computer.

I have a full time job. I never play games when I'm supposed to be working. I work from home so it would be easy to fire up the other computer and play a little between work stuff, but that's a horrible idea so I don't.

I have a self imposed bed time. I had to use an alarm for this for a while but now it's just habit. Also I'm getting old so I get tired sooner.

@jjjalljs Ok, defiantly sounds like I have a addiction to gaming. I seem to put gaming before my partner (as well as previous partners, when I was with them). Annoyingly my goal is to replace some of my gaming time with other tasks such as Video Editing what I'd like to create my own business about but I keep on making walls to why I should not do it such as the easy my bank has still not sorted my online banking for my business so I can't edit for people, there's no point in even editing for myself or even booting the software.

I saw a suggestion from someone else to possibly Gamify my life what sounds like a good thing to do. It's nice to know some people can just do it, thank you.

My wife keeps me in check. Not in that she's telling me when I can play, but that, I'm thinking about her before and while I play, and whether or not I'm being considerate.

@Rhynoplaz It's one of the reasons I hope to not spend 10+ hours a day on games as I do enjoy my time with my partner but it has turned into you watch things on the TV well I play some games that I've already been playing all day.

Nothing wrong with that, but I know what you mean. It's easy to get stuck in a habit and then you haven't seen each other in three years.

Don't forget to snuggle up and watch the things on TV with her once in a while. Keep those connections fresh.

If there is nothing I need to do that day, I don't see a problem with playing for a long time

@CaptnNMorgan It's more the case of I end up using it to not do the things I should be.

Then it's the same as everything else, human up and get the things you need to do first. If you aren't playing until after dinner, so be it.

@CaptnNMorgan At that point I don't eat, it's one of the reasons I've been trying a mix of work and gaming today as otherwise I will just not function

Allot yourself a certain time of the day to play them. Basically, schedule your play time and only play during that play time. That's what I do. I play at a certain time of the evening, for 2 hours maximum. Otherwise I don't really touch my games. If I'm doing something else at that time that I feel takes priority (such as working on something or doing something else with friends or family) then I'm probably just not going to play that night. That's basically how my friends and I helped get one of our group out of a gaming addiction: hanging around with his brother at their place doing other stuff. Over the course of a few months he slowly would come out and make his way closer to us or hang around in the doorway of his room watching us for increasingly longer periods of time, until he eventually would actually log off the game and join in our activities. We just consistently got together at the same time every week. Nothing more to it.

@Grangle1 Glad that worked for them, I sadly don't really have any friends online or not so it's not really an option. I've been trying a play one day, do some work approach today as almost a reward for doing the task, this seemed to have worked so far but there's probably a better way for it in the future but it's a step.

Be careful with games without stopping points. Also be aware of the games that engross you in a way that you just lose track of time, play them only when you can get lost like that.

@lorty I guess making myself 'end-points' for a gaming session would be a better step as I'm not interested in most Story-Based games.

Find a hobby to do on the side that you can use, maybe something with progression so you have something to focus on and track progress to keep you wanting to do that and not just stick to playing games. Something like drawing, learning an instrument, maybe even exercise, whether it be standard gym stuff or something else like skating or bouldering. If you still want to stick around a computer for whatever reason, maybe learn to code? Having a creative outlet will help loads to keep you from games if you have troubles endlessly playing them because you start getting the creative itches that makes you want to get something done related to that hobby, instead of just procrastinating.

@MrScottyTay Thanks yeah one thing that I hope to replace my time with is Video Editing it's been something that I really enjoy when I've done it in the past and I think it's time to focus on that more than games.

I tend to hyperfixate. So I got into habit of getting up every 3 hours, going outside, walk around block. I will say to self, get up, right now, out of this chair, outside, now. Been doing this so long now, it's become habit, part of daily routine. Has helped a lot.

@31415926535 That's a good way, I saw somewhere sometimes just starting the smallest part of another task especially things like washing up and stuff can set you to do the whole thing in one go sometimes and if not if you come back to it in an hour or so, your mind might just go "Oh, Theres less, let's slowly finish it through the day" so you keep on coming back to the task. Thank you, I'll see how I can do this in my life.