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Flying Squid@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 333 points –
108

I think it's easy to point how this is pretty off in some ways, but if you think of it as being aimed at someone with no coffee knowledge, I think it's not a bad overview of how that person is likely to experience those types of drinks.

as someone who knows fuck all about coffee i can confirm this is how i see coffee. The one thing i know is that i like milky carmel cappuccinos:3

Here's a quick tidbit I always have in the back of my mind:

If it's an Italian name, it's espresso-based and if it's a French name, it's coffee-based.

Italian coffee, for example:

Americano - Espresso and water
Latte - Espresso and regular milk
Cappuccino - Espresso and steamed milk
Breve - Espresso and steamed half-and-half

French coffee, for example:

Café - Plain coffee, sometimes called Café Noir
Café au Lait - Coffee and regular milk
Café Cremé - Coffee and cream (or sometimes half-and-half)
Café Americano - Coffee and water, it's the French version of the Italian style.

What's the difference between coffee and espresso? Coffee is brewed and steeped. Espresso is created by forcing water through very, very densely-packed coffee grounds using high pressure. Coffee is typically enjoyed in cups and espresso is typically consumed in "shots" because of the strong flavor.

Is an Italian latte really with cold milk?

I used to work in coffee in Seattle and around there a latte is also steamed milk. The difference between a latte and a cappuccino is the amount of foam to milk ratio.

Latte is mostly milk with a topping of foam. Cappuccino is half foam half milk (and some people like even more foam in their cappuccinos).

Those terms are an American invention. As for Italy

  • Latte = plain old milk. Can be cold or hot, it's milk
  • Caffelatte = probably the origin of the American "latte", literally means coffee and milk, usually made and home with cold or hot milk and moka coffee
  • Latte macchiato = big cup of milk, frothy on top, with a shot of espresso in it
  • Caffè macchiato = espresso with a shot of milk, can be frothy

Interesting, thanks for the info! What is moka coffee? Mocha here means a latte with chocolate basically. Sometimes with whipped cream instead of foam.

Coffee made with a Moka pot

What you call mocha should actually be called Mocaccino, although it's more similar to what we call Marocchino in Italy. They're both derived from the "Bicerin", a drink typical of Turin.

Marocchino is like a Cappuccino with powdered cocoa (mix the espresso and cocoa before pouring the milk).

Mocaccino is instead made up of three layers, a layer of melted chocolate, then a layer of espresso, then a layer of frothy milk.

Afaik they're not massively popular in Italy, but here in the north I see Marocchino more often than Mocaccino.

PS: if you want to pronounce them correctly, "chi" and "che" are pronounced "ki" and "ke", while "ci" and "ce" are pronounced "chi" and "che".

It sounds like an American mocha is most similar to the mocaccino, since we mostly use a thick chocolate sauce for the chocolate, not cocoa powder.

Certainly the origin of the American "latte" is the latte macchiato, because that's exactly what you receive if you order "a latte" in the US.

It's worth noting that most places without a "signature" style just use espresso as the base nowadays. Because espresso is a much easier way to start (as it's a small amount of coffee syrup, without the water).
And outside of speciality (pour-over/cold-brew), it's the preferred extraction method.

Half-and-half is for cowards. Either cut the cream entirely or get full cream.

It's for those transitioning from full cream to none. At least I've never seen anyone going the other way.

Wow, I thought I was the only person who didn’t know anything about coffee!

I'm sorry but an americano is half coffee half water. It's not black coffee. Black coffee would be a "solo".

My point is that a non-coffee drinker is going to drink that and think it tastes like black coffee. Their experience of it will be what's on the sign even if that's inaccurate.

Also just an FYI, an americano is espresso shots in water, not coffee. Similar to what you're describing, but a little smoother.

For anyone that sees espresso and thinks express, as in something fast, it's actually meant to be pressed, as it's an Italian term. So that's hot water that went through pressed coffee powder.

So that's hot water that went through pressed coffee powder.

The "pressed" doesn't refer to the coffee powder but to the water: the water is pressed through the coffee grounds using high pressure (around 9 bars or so).

It also means express in italian. It's a pun. The reason it was invented was to make coffee brewing faster so coffee breaks wouldn't take so long.

This is gonna make a lot of Europeans mad.

Source : am french. I love me some Americano, but the default here is the espresso. You can also get a "long espresso" which is basically a diluted espresso, and is still not the same as an Americano (and this is where my coffee knowledge stops, so I'm not sure what the differences are exactly). I also have some Italian family and they would probably disown me if I said that the Americano is the "default" black coffee

But an espresso is strong coffee and not neccessarily miniature...

A more apt description would be "Concentrated Coffee" lol

And an Americano is a watered-down espresso. That said, it tastes identical to coffee to me but I don't drink the shit so...

Well, it's supposed to taste like instant coffee as found in WW2 rations for Americans, hence the term.

Do you drink double-quad espresso shots or something?

They're definitely miniature compared to a cappuccino or and americano.

If I order an Americano and you serve me a filter black coffee, I swear ...

For me it's the other way around :(

I'm surprised that happens! Seems like a complicated mistake to make.

If I ask for a latte, and you give me a coffee with milk, I’m gonna be upset. There’s a big difference between steamed milk and just milk.

If I ask for latte, and you give me a coffee with milk, I’m gonna be upset. There’s a big difference between milk and coffee with milk.

You do know that when you steam milk it changes the consistency, right? It’s like the difference between a coke and a completely flat coke.

I thought they were making a joke, in that latte means milk and that it's "cafe latte" in Italy or something.

Yeah, I think they were, but also if I ask for a latte in an English speaking coffee shop and get a glass of milk, I’d be upset.

Isn't a latte non-steamed though? I thought a cappuccino had the frothed milk in it.

"Latte" is milk, "Caffè latte" is coffee with milk

Understood, but in the context of a coffee shop in an anglophone place it has a different agreed upon meaning.

True, however the (presumably humorous) comment that keeps getting downvoted is technically correct

With a latte, it's just normal steamed milk. A cappuccino has foamy steamed milk. Specifically, it has an equal volume of steamed milk and foam taking up space in the cup. You get more actual milk diluting the coffee in a latte, resulting in a milder drink.

I ordered an almond joy latte and went back in asking for another drink cause it was horrible.

Turns out it was a coffee not a drink. I hadn't had coffee in so long I couldn't identify the lack of steamed milk. 🫤

I did get it remade as a latte and it was amazing.

I prefer the Spanish names.

Americano - half coffee half water.
Solo - just coffee.
Cortado - coffee with a "cut" of milk.
Cafe con leche - half coffee half milk.
Leche manchada - milk "dirtied" with a dash of coffee.

Then expresso and all the other bullshit.

Fr, the amount of times I found myself having to say "just half coffee half milk" because I forgot the fucking dumb nonsensical name…

I know everyone is here for the same thing, and we've all been correcting this image since it showed up five years ago, but an Americano is not a black coffee.

It is however, coffee that is black, but if I ordered one and got the other, I'd know somethings up.

Also, I really don't know why people drink americano. To me they just taste like cigarettes, but I'm currently drinking chicory so my opinion is moot.

An Americano isn't coffee.

It's a watered down espresso.

The only reason it exists is because Americans visiting Europe would ask for coffee, and many euro coffee shops only had espresso, so they just added hot water to espresso and that was close enough for the tourists.

At least, that was what I heard.

I'm confused now, because espresso is also coffee? Like, it's all made from coffee beans. I agree that Americano is espresso with water, but to me that is absolutely a kind of coffee.

In the US coffee = filter coffee, espresso = espresso

In Italy coffee = espresso, dirty water = filter coffee

It's confusing since espresso is a type of coffee, and coffee (aka "drip coffee") is a completely different type of coffee.

Coffee is both a class of item, and also a specific item within the class.

If you say coffee, it could mean the class of all kinds of coffee, or you could be referring specifically to the coffee item in the class coffee. If you say espresso, it's still in the class coffee, but it's a specific type of coffee that cannot be conflated with a different kind of coffee.

English sucks.

By "a black coffee", do you mean drip/filter coffee? Because a caffe lungo is also a black coffee, for example

For whatever reason, at the time Italian coffee names became so popular 15 or so years ago, coffee became either super intense or a dessert. I'm old and I just want a mild coffee like I used to drink before the fashion, not a super strong one. Call me a lightweight if you want, I don't take pride in doing stimmulants.

an Americano is not a black coffee.

It is however, coffee that is black,

Hold on now, I'm not getting this. What meaning could "black coffee" possibly have other than a coffee that is black?

It's color is black, but it's not black the type. Cold brew, espresso, and chickory are also blackthe color, but they're not what you ordered if you wanted black the type.

I guess I've never really thought of "black" as a type of coffee. Where I live black usually just means you don't want any milk in whatever type of coffee you ordered.

As an American living in Europe for over a decade, Americano is the default I have to drink when I'm out unless I go to a hipster coffee shop. The main reason being practically no one does filter coffee, but almost every restaurant has an espresso machine.

And it tastes like cigarettes because even though every restaurant has an espresso machine it doesn't mean they clean it, and doesn't mean their staff knows how to use it properly. Water temps too high, too much coffee grounds, over compressed, lowest quality beans. Fucking everywhere. It's awful.

even though every restaurant has an espresso machine it doesn’t mean they clean it, and doesn’t mean their staff knows how to use it properly. Water temps too high, too much coffee grounds, over compressed, lowest quality beans. Fucking everywhere. It’s awful.

And this is why, as an Italian, I can't drink espresso anywhere in the world. 9/10 is just awful

Hmm, I don't think I'd want to buy coffee from this place

Was going to say, if my coffee shop doesn’t know the difference between coffee and an espresso, I’m not buying a coffee from them.

I thought flat white and latte were synonyms and they both meant milky coffee. Now I'm confused, so it's just the foam?

Flat white is 2 espresso shots and equal parts steamed milk. A Latte is more steamed milk (idk the exact ratio if there is one), most places just fill up whatever latte cup they have which should be bigger than the flat white cup, and has a small amount of head/foam.

Flat white is always made with some milk foam on top, traditionally less than a Latte.

So the difference should be in the ratio of coffee to milk to froth, which is also true of other varieties like cortado.

For all you coffee snobs hear me this!

Affogato!
Get a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Pour a shot of espresso over it. Heaven!!

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1022454-affogato

I don't like coffee but I think this could be the gateway drug.

You get the warm bitter espresso then the cool sweet vanilla icecream. You need to eat it quick while it melts then drink it when it combines into a coolish sweet coffee thing.

Its fantastic and so simple.

caramalized onions warm onions

bread flour with water

tuna fish

salmon fish

swordfish

eel fish

octopus fish

chicken fish

red fish, orange fish, stabby fish, long fish, arm fish, feathery not fish

Only know about chicken fish from Tom Waits and John Lurie.

That's just "Other nonsense" e.g. whats wrong with Tea and Hot Chocolate?

They are coffee extremists, but from the other side of the spectrum.

Equally or even more annoying than the "Venti Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino, extra cream, pinch of pumpkin spice, ..." crowd. Since that side at least doesn't force their views on coffee on other people.

Half of this are wrong though

Right, a flat white is definitely not white.

A latte is also a white coffee, and most baristas are going to think you want an americano with milk.

It's a guide for stupid people written by stupid people. I bet they'll call you "woke" if you order a cappuccino there.

They forgot to list the Jackson, which is a coffee that starts out Black but turns White

This has been '90s comedy night, ladies and gentlemen! Thanks for coming and be sure to tip your waitstaff!

Flat white, cappuccino, latte and machiatto are the same thing. It's just coffee with milk.

All mammals are the same thing, just carbon life forms

Carbon lifeforms with milk. Get it right.

Pizza, cream cheese bagel, and cheese on crackers are the same thing. It’s just bread with cheese.