Which burn was worse? I'm gonna vote for #11.

TheOneWithTheHair@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 308 points –
74

This has big "FW: FW: RE: FW:" energy.

Going to forward it to my dad so he can slowly read it aloud during Thanksgiving dinner while a dozen people sit uncomfortably in silence, waiting for him to look up so they can awkwardly laugh.

Because it is, just translated to picture memes now instead of formatted to have big, flashing red-lettered words and bolded emphasis. I remember seeing this list at least a few years ago.

Is there a forwards from Grandma community on here like there was on Reddit?

Someone took a list of insults written about soldiers in the military, and rephrased them. Do you actually think teachers would say this stuff about their students in writing?

This website just doesn't get satire.

I swear this website (collection of websites, social media network, whatever) makes me regret leaving reddit more and more every day. The people here are fully incapable of understanding sarcasm or humor. It's hilarious

I think it's partly because you'd get mocked ruthlessly on Reddit for missing the joke, whereas here either nobody points it out, or they're very kind about it.

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"When her IQ reaches 50 she should sell" is probably the wittiest one.

I'm going to assume that none of these teachers are real, some corndog just pulled this thing out of the fucked up meme engine that makes facebook suck so bad. Some schmuck who writes jokes for morning FM drive time radio probably sat down with a pencil and wrote these.

If it gets any worse it's going to say "REAL FRIENDS STAY" in shitty cursive on a purple background and that's it, that's the whole meme, because facebook.

I wonder how close to the bottom of that drain we are now.

"REAL FRIENDS STAY" in shitty cursive on a purple background

Oh dear god why'd you have to make this so accurate, I feel like I've traveled back in time against my will

My favorite is the “delusions of adequacy”, that one had to sting! The six-pack one though sounds like possible ADHD or some other learning disorder - your child is smart enough, but lacks the ability to do well

I hope the teacher who said #11 isn't teaching reproductive biology.

The sperm that makes it through to the egg doesn't get there first. Multitudes of other sperms die weakening the wall, receiving nothing in return, only for another to slide right in and reap all the rewards and renown for their sacrifice. It's basically the perfect analogy for capitalism.

No teacher said any of these, it's made up.

Probably, but I find that you get more enjoyment from these memes with a little willful suspension of disbelief 🤷

Suspension of disbelief implies you don't genuinely believe it, and that's not the vibe I'm getting here.

The free market is not, as the social Darwinists imagine, a struggle between rich and poor, strong and weak. It is the principal means by which human beings cooperate in order to live. If each of us had to produce all his food and shelter by himself, almost no one could survive. The existence of large-scale society depends absolutely on social cooperation through the division of labor.

Poor kid is probably neurodivergent and being told to "just stop it" or "just be normal" instead of actually receiving the help they need.

Unhelpful advice I’ve received from neurotypicals who have, apparently, no theory of mind:

  • Just think about it
  • You should try making a to-do list
  • You’re just embarrassing yourself when you act that way
  • Oh but it’s not a big deal, see?
  • Calm down

I once in high school was told about a thing I couldn't do to basically "just do it" by a teacher. In a meeting about my support network. My mother almost wanted to hit the teacher in the head with the dossier.

Maybe some of them, but some people are just legitimately stupid beyond repair in a neurotypical way. It's not their fault, it's not a moral failing and they deserve empathy and respect. It's just very unfortunate in today's society.

It's called satire. Although you don't seem like the type of individual to pick up on that edit dam does this come off really passive aggressively

You know you can also analyze satire and comment on the hypothetical people involved in them too, right? Because satire is supposed to be a way to draw attention to real-life problems?

I don't think there are many hypothetical teachers going around and commenting on there students like this. They sure as hell won't have there jobs for long

And yet we absolutely do have a problem of very neurodivergent kids simply being called "stupid" and "a brat" by their teachers and being told to "stop it" and "just be normal" instead of, you know, the trained professional in child education recognizing those symptoms and referring parents to various resources for their child.

See? Satire. You exaggerate and make comical a real world problem in an attempt to get people to recognize that while it may not be as extreme as in the fictional piece, it definitely is a problem that is happening.

Number 5 is probably my favorite mostly because I like talking hyperboles and taking them even further

Same with number 1

How bout this"you are so unremarkable you don't even have significance of being the most insignificant"

It's not just a problem with the teachers. The whole system is rotten. Many kids go unsupported and fail due to it. Some may try to join the gangs and think school is worthless, some may have need for extra effort which isn't their from parents or teachers. It's unfortunate in such a huge beast like the NYC public school system, just like many others.

It's really a problem with the parents, and that causes problems with the administration which causes problems for the teachers.

I know. Then the kids grow up and believe everything they see on Internet memes.

The image doesn't have to be true for what I said to be true.

We also spend more than twice as much per student than any other country for these results 😑

Where the fk is the money going because it's certainly not going to the teachers.

To the schools of rich districts and the usually fraudulent charter schools some politicians love so much.

Don't forget that most of the money that does make it to schools goes to sports programs. See my hometown's new million dollar football field, ten-year-old textbooks and cancelled art program for reference.

Yeah, I admittedly HAD happily forgotten about that particular awfulness for a moment, thanks for the reminder 😮‍💨

Ah yes it's on the interweb so uhm ashrually it must be real guyz no one can lie on the uhmuhm aaaheww nn no one can lie on the interweb

these teachers failed at their initial standup career and are bitter about it.

Man the teachers in New York are really nice compared to the jerks I had to deal with growing up.

That’s not really how insemination works though.

Bold of you to assume the teacher has a basic understanding of any subject matter they teach. We need to stop assuming we're going to get the cream of the crop when teachers are often forced to take second jobs just to make ends meet. If we pay more, then we can demand more, and someday we can expect more.

If this was written, it would probably be a woman or a very feminine man