I knew it all along!

Flying Squid@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1319 points –
86

Programmer here. Can confirm. Coding is just a list of instructions we send to the tiny people inside so they know what to do.

Electrical Engineer here. Electrons are people too! Very tiny, quantum people, with very tiny, quantum hopes, and very tiny, quantum dreams!

Science cannot disprove this.

I hear electrons are really flaky. You tell them to show up at a specific place and time, and you just never know. Always getting involved in one entanglement or another.

It's frustrating because they're so literal when following instructions. I wish they'd do what I want, not what I said.

That really isn't a bad metaphor for how the computer processes code.

I say that computers work because we tricked some rocks into thinking by carving special runes into them.

It's not that magic doesn't exist, it's just that our current spells and rituals are rudimentary.

I’d say it’s that the information on how it works is out there and not secret. If I want to turn lead into gold that knowledge is available to me, I just need access to a nuclear reactor and to learn a fuck ton of stuff.

Also the fact that it’s all very math dependent doesn’t help. The “when will I use this” subject is the biggest prerequisite to magic

...don't forget it wouldn't have worked if we hadn't tamed lightning and channelled it into the runes.

The smoke that comes out of computers sometimes is caused by the little people getting pissed off and lighting little fires out of protest.

Haha what? There are no small people in computers, what are you talking about?

sweats

Education and wisdom are two separate stats, this guy didn't roll very high on Wis.

In the U.S., education is mostly about being able to regurgitate what you've been told. Wisdom is, as you suggested, not necessary for that.

Unfortunately so. There should be more emphasis on the why and how rather than the what.

In the U.S., education is mostly about being able to regurgitate what you’ve been told.

Wait, are there places where it’s not?

Intelligence and wisdom.

Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Who wants to bet he's just a Helpdesk tech and has no idea what an actual computer engineer is?

I know an engineer who's into all kinds of bat-shit conspiracy theories...

I work in 1st level support, and we don't want anything to do with this guy. He's too stupid, even for us lol

I am a tool and die maker and I affirm that heart attacks are caused by tiny, airborne sharks that sound exactly like Steven Crowder on helium. When you breathe them in they go to your heart and literally attack it.

I’m just a medical student, but as a computer engineer can’t he just hack into the mainframe and reveal that the earth is flat?

You can just dig all the way down to bedrock, right? Should be easy if you kill all the creeps and spiders

Get him! Get the geologist and silence him! He's unveiled the truth and now they'll take our tiny people away from us!

Probably working for Big Geology and the mainstream media!

No, computers work because there are very tiny rocks inside that vibrate when connected to electricity.

Don't bring your so-called science mumbo-jumbo around here!

I trapped lightning in a rock, and taught it to do math.

Computers are arcane wizardry.

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At least he used "affirm" rather than "confirm".

John Davis is the secretary of the flat earth society*

  • And has taken idiocy to previously undreampt heights