Me IRL

0x4E4F@sh.itjust.worksbanned from community to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 625 points –
72

You forgot the "I need to sleep and the post nut nap is a good way to get sleep started option.

And maybe also, wierdly, the possibility "I need to get up and having a wank seems like a good way to get the systems starting up."

Either way, they all fall in the category of, what I've come to call, the Keine Lust Fap, named so after the Rammstein song. You're fapping, not because you're horny, but because of other reasons.

morning wank always leaves me in a weird head space. Like I'm up but I dont want to do anything

TIL that other people enjoy a good post nut sleep too.

honestly i just kind of figure that's the natural sleep aid lol, especially if you're having hanky panky with someone else and there's some exercise involved

How did you know I was masturbating?

You totally killed the mood.

2 more...

Jokes aside there's really some truth in this. I'm not sure if it's the dopamine or that I just need to disctract my mind away from the things that makes me anxious but I sure as hell don't do it because I'm horny. I don't even remember what being horny feels like.

And no, I'm not one of those nofap/pornfree fanatics. For most people there probably is not an issue there. It's only when you spend 6 hours several times a week doing something like this that you might start to consider this may not be good for you.

i mean i think the problem is less whacking one out and more the fact that it's what you have to resort to to bring some joy into your life

It's that or be 300kg. Like not feeling horny, I swear I don't feel hunger, I just eat to be happy. There is a balance between food and fapping.

Well ofcourse it's a combination of things but I feel like there something to the theory of how overstimulation like that drains your dopamine reserves (or something) and kind of makes you numb to more mundane positive experiences.

that really just sounds like victim blaming to me, by that logic couples that have sex often should be miserable too but the precise opposite seems to be the case

Well I'm the victim of my own behaviour and I'm definitely not blaming anyone else but myself. Also, there's a difference between doing something in healthy amounts and being obsessed about it. I don't know about you but personally I feel like wasting 20+ hours into porn and masturbation in a week doesn't seem healthy. It my not be the sole cause for ones problems but it's definitely not helping.

Maybe it's because you share the experience with a SO. Doing it alone can bring momentary joy and relief, but in the long run, it can't replace sex.

How does that work, physiologically? We're talking dopamine in the brain. If what that user said was true and "overstimulation like that drains your dopamine reserves (or something)," then another person being there wouldn't make a difference.

I mean, it's because they have a misunderstanding on how brain chemistry works, obviously. Like, it can store it, but it doesn't get used up from doing things that feel good. That's what makes dopamine. And while loneliness is a problem in the general population, it's more likely that longer lasting gratification from sex isn't from the physical act or even just the physical act with another person, but the joy gained from the relationship as a whole. Pretending that there's chemically something different happening in the brain just because there is physically another person there is ridiculous. I've had plenty of unfulfilling sex with people I didn't like that didn't make me happy/content afterwards like masturbating would have.

It's reward without effort and it's dose that makes the poison.

Is smoking weed bad? What about smoking weed all day every day?

Actually, I do believe it's true, because I went through a phase like this where I wanted nothing else but sex and I masturbated a lot. Nothing else interesred me, everything else was stupid and boring. Turns out I was depressed, got medication for that, still take it and things just got back to normal.

But, I never understood why a depressed person would want to have sex so much and masturbate a lot... until I saw this, and then it clicked. I probably just needed the dopamine fix because that was the only thing that made me feel good.

Depression and anxiety definitely has something to do with it in my case but what's weird is that I don't have any desire for sex whatsoever. It's 100% just a habit/addiction/distraction. I hardly even get any pleasure from it and without an exception feel absolutely shit afterwards. Then I hit rock bottom and stop doing it for few weeks but as the first signs of healing start appearing meaning I can feel the tiniest amount of horniness again I then relapse and the loop starts all over again.

Been without about a week now, again, and I'm about at the point where it starts getting hard again. By it I don't mean IT.

Yeah, you're in a loop. You should try and get out more, when the loop starts that is. There is nothing wrong with masturbating IMO, even if it's a few times a week, or even once a day, but if you start doing it several times a day, yeah, that is somewhat not really healthy. Sure, you're keeping your prostate in check (this is mainly why I recommend anyone above 30, 35 to do it regularly), but that's not the reason why you're doing it, is it.

For me, it was mainly sex. Had a lot of quarels with my partner back then and makeup sex was the only thing I wanted... it felt weird... I've always been agressive in bed, but this time, I felt like I wanted to punish her... I really have no idea what was going on with me at that time, it was a weird period, I didn't feel like myself at all.

What if I just have ADHD and it's the only way to generate dopamine anymore

have you met our lord and savior: rearranging your bedroom at 2am

I was scratching my balls and one thing led to another…

They used to tell kids they would go blind if they do this. :)

That was so wrong on so many levels if you ask me.

Mostly because I'm horny but sometimes because I want an easier time going to sleep.

Cuz I have restless leg syndrome and when it's bad it won't let me sleep otherwise (RLS is sometimes treated with a dopamine agonist).

I feel like there are more choices like

Angry and need the distraction

Yes, and everything in between and unrelated.

Well my serious theory would be that it has some sort of "healing effect". That is why so many people do it.

if nothing else it's gonna give you some amount of cardio exercise, and feeling good probably just generally makes us healthier than being miserable.