What habits or practies have you adopted from cultures besides your own?

teamster@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 228 points –

For example, I'm a white Jewish guy but I've adopted the Japanese practice of keeping dedicated house slippers at the front door.

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American, here. Got a bidet, and I am never going back. The fact that this isn't standard in American households is disgusting.

Oh so true! Before I visited Japan for the first time I thought having shit left on my ass is just a normal thing. But later I also visited Morocco and they have a bucket of water on the toilet so you can wash yourself. It seems it's only in Europe/America where people don't wash themselves after pooping.

There are bidets in many countries in Europe too. In Spain, most houses have them, and I'm pretty sure it's the same thing in France and Italy.

I was a week in Italy and never seen them. But it's good to hear that it's getting better.

Separate bidets are a thing, but only in older houses.

They have been disappearing in France, sadly, because people couldn't afford the space…
I'm adding integrated bidets to all our toilets in our oncoming renovation though.

I like the integrated ones much more anyway. I got one for our second toilet from my fiance for my birthday, she's a keeper :D

I got one just around the time that toilet paper was getting yanked off shelves at lightning speed, and it has ruined me for public toilets.

Peasant toilets. Hideous.

Love my bidet. I feel so clean and it’s so nice.

Yes. Bidets should be opt-out at this point.

I got a bidet but then I read you have to turn it off at the connection to the water (at the bottom/back of toilet) every time or eventually the gasket can wear out and it will explode and the water will just go and go and go. If that happened at night or when noone is home you'd have major water damage!! I thought you could just use it with the trigger. Do people really actually fully stop the water every time? I uninstalled mine because I don't think I can reliably remember to do that.

Been using a bidet for several years, and that has literally never happened. I think you might have gotten bad info.

The T-adapter? That's not mechanically complex and should literally last forever if made out of the correct materials and isn't touched all the time. It should be no more fault prone than the connection to the toilet.

A misaligned thread or a washer not fitting quite right might be an issue from a bad install. That's an easy fix though and you should see a leak before things go catastrophic.

If your really looking for piece of mind I'm sure there are t adapters that can close themselves down in certain failure states.

I set all my digital clocks to 24hr mode, something I picked up after living in Europe. Would never go back.

Likewise. I just found it much easier when trying to schedule my day. Not having to account for the switch from 12-1 makes the math simpler.

One of us! Now shift to metric!

I actually use some metric when measuring around the house for projects, especially for anything shorter than an inch. I can't be bothered to figure out 1/16 of an inch...it's easier in mm.

Before I quit drinking I believe I was following Russian culture with my vodka intake.

Drinking cheapest vodka possible chasing it with cheapest bear possible, then fight, sing, fight again, vomit all over the place, and fall asleep face down in a bowl of salad?

I cross my sevens like a German.

I adopted this years ago so I could tell the difference between a 1 and a 7 😁

This is a German thing? I know tons of people here in Canada who do it.

I thought it was a Spanish speaking country thing only until this comment

When you indicate the number 3 with your hand, which fingers do you hold up?

Thumb, index, middle fingers?

Middle, ring, pinky (small finger) fingers?

Index, middle, ring fingers?

I heard Germans do it one of these ways, English does it another, and Americans does it yet another way. Don't know if it's true, but I think I saw that in some movie. Maybe Inglourious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino?

I still do that the right way. Pointer, middle and ring.

I swap between 1) index, middle, and ring and 2) thumb, index, and middle because I was raised with 1) but learned to do 2) while learning American Sign Language, as 1) in ASL means the letter W.

I'm British and I say y'all fairly often. It just rolls off the tongue.

Happy to have more of the y'all in English English, but personally I'd like an uptake in youse.

As someone who has lived both in Pennsylvania and Kentucky, y'all just sounds and feels better than youse.

Is youse a thing I'm Pennsylvania and/or Kentucky? I was thinking a la the land of the free, home of the brave (Scotland)

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Stretching. I think this originally came from southeast Asia, its so far back that its hard to discover. But I stretch every single morning. As a Native American I need that to limber up so I can dance, which I enjoy doing.

Sleeping on a thin futon laid out on the floor (Japan / Korea). And riding a bike or e-bike everywhere (Netherlands), even though US cities and infrastructure are hostile to humans

oh man. im so the opposite. I got a higher bedframe so getting up and down is even easier.

a raised bed helps to keep pests off. whats the benefit of a ground bed?

Also better for bending over, standing beside, hanging off of and various other things... man I'd hate to just have a mat on the floor. How tragic.

I heard Koreans use metal chopsticks and bought pack home. Took some time to learn how to use those but so much easier when I can put those in dishwasher.

I hate metal chopsticks. Maybe I'm a bad Korean. I just find that they don't grip as well.

Gotta agree with you there. Although Korean spoons are the best!

Is this what you mean by Korean spoon? What is better about them? I really love the ceramic spoons you get with Chinese soup, those are great for stews.

Yes there are several things I like:

  • Long handles prevent the part you actually hold from getting hot and they don't fall into the bowl as often when you're eating soup from a bigger bowl.
  • The length also allows you to reach things further away when eating family style meals.
  • The bowl shape is optimized for eating soup & rice. At the same time, bowl is not too deep that it is uncomfortable to eat non-soupy things.
  • Being metal lets you use the spoon to cut and scrape things, ceramic spoons are harder to use for that purpose because they're typically thicker and more rounded.

Nice. Thanks for the info. I'm kind of curious and want to try Korean spoons now.

Yeah, the Japanese ones are the easiest to use, but if you want to show off then using Korean ones is the ultra hard version. You get used to it though quite fast.

I would LOVE the house slipper bit. I've suggested it so many times. Wife and kids just won't go for it. Wife says it's rude to ask a guest to take off their shoes. I disagree but she just can't see my point or view. If you want to enter my house, show respect and take off your shoes to keep my house clean.

I just don't get it lol. Whenever I enter someone's house for the first time I ask "would you like me to take my shoes off?".

It's not that hard, and especially obvious if they have light colored carpet

I have multiple guests slippers at the door with internal shoe cleaner also to hand, but that's mostly for show as we clean them anyway. Regular guests eventually get to choose there slippers and we'll get what ever they want.

I'm sorry, what do you mean by "internal shoe cleaner"? My wife and I have "inside shoes" (not really slippers) with a small shoe rack / bench next to the door, but we're trying also to get slippers for the guests because so many of them usually ask if they should remove their shoes when they see us doing it. I'm having issues choosing the right slippers because I don't want that using a slipper that many other people have used becomes a hygiene issue. I know that in most cases it's not, but I don't want guest to "feel" like it may be. How do you deal with that?

Anti bacterial shoe shoe spray, like they use in ice rinks or bowling alleys.

My wife is from a shoes off in the home culture so our home is like that. Before I met her I could go either way on it.

One time when she was away I put my shoes on our bed and sent her a picture of it just to tease her. Hehe

From the USA: wearing a white t-shirt under my shirt or t-shirt. Helps preventing sweat stains under armpits. Really hot in the summer though

Try and get 100% cotton. It's the polyester that makes it hot.

In the SW USA in summer it can get 117F (47C) and let me tell you, my dude, 100% cotton is still hot as hell.

I don't know this for sure, but to me it seems like the whole suit and tie and jacket thing was a northern European tradition and eventually an eastern USA tradition where it's cold. That shit don't work in the desert, and those who continue to claim "professionalism" and maintain such stupid customs are fools, in my opinion.

I'm not middle eastern but those dudes have the correct answer to the desert. I really wish the thawb would catch on in the Sonoran Desert of the southwest USA.

just before the reddit strike there was a thread on /r/askhistorians about wearing layers in hot climates specifically referencing some cowboy-type TV shows. the historians were talking about how linens and even properly woven wool are a lot more comfortable in heat than cotton.

I have some linen and I can see it being the case but the cuts/styles are not to my liking. Maybe I will have some tailored one day.

I just bought bed linens for the first time. It is really breathable but a but scratchy so far.

I have been sleeping on linen as much as possible for ages. I have pieces from a few sources and I've never found them scratchy. Not sure why as everyone else has the same comment. My actual "sheets" are just yardage from a fabric store at the heaviest weight I could find and it was pleasant immediately. I do have one cushion case that's kind of scratchy, I probably wouldn't want to sleep on sheets like that.

Apparently it gets softer with laundering so just throw them in every time you do a wash I guess.

You got your linen bed sheets at a fabric store? Maybe I'll take a trip to my local fabric store and see if I can feel them. Agreed about the wash thing. That's why I'm sticking it out, hoping they get softer over time.

I got them at an online retailer. Extreme discount. I took a gamble as I thought it might not actually be linen at the price. Especially wide enough to make sheets. Don't forget it shrinks.

Worthwhile going to a store to feel all what's available, different weights, weaves etc. There might be a clothing or upholstery oriented place that has more useful. For textile-industry, do not expect meaningful online presences. A lot of fabric stores have a website from 1997. A few 200px photos of stacks of fabric, a list of random brand names, a phone number and an address. Call them and tell them you are interested in linen for drapery, sheets & upholstery and they will tell you if have have that kind of thing and if not where to go. But it is a touch and feel business so actually going is better.

Also the word "linen" is used to mean a lot of things. some of which contain no linen. you want "100% linen" and knowing about weights will help https://www.onlinefabricstore.com/makersmill/linen-fabric-product-guide/

I sew, and I wouldn't even bother looking for linen in your local fabric stores. Most everything is going to be mixed with rayon and too narrow for sheets. That's especially true if your local fabric store is Joann. I can recommend some online retailers, but my usual go-to in the past has been Ukrainian linen, and... uh, you know.

For your current sheets, it will take time for them to soften, but if you wash them on hot and tumble dry them, they'll soften faster. There are multiple types of linen, and there's a variety called softened linen where it's been basically been beaten to soften the linen fibers and simulate wear. Linen that hasn't been softened just hasn't gone through that process and will be scratchier.

those who continue to claim “professionalism” and maintain such stupid customs are fools, in my opinion Not if you have AC at 65 everywhere! /s

I've learned from the Japanese phrase 'itadakimasu,' which is said before eating as a way to thank the person that prepared the food. I think in the west, a lot of us grew up learning to say things like grace before a meal, but that is too religious for me and gives God credit for peoples' hard work instead. I love the idea of ritualistically thanking the people who actually made the food. It was one of the things I appreciated while studying there that has stuck with me.

In my culture its common courtesy to thank a person after the meal, either the one who made it, brought it, or paid for it. But only if they're present. It ain't a ritual. Same-ish thing.

I wear a mask unless I need my mouth for something.

Same here. I'm immune compromised and masks are a blessing.

I used to get sick once a month and now I've not been sick since before covid.

I love wearing a mask it makes me feel like a ninja

I'm a big white guy but I wear sarongs all the time, having grown up on Java and wore them as a kid. Soooo comfortable and versatile.

Sounds perfect for a desert climate. Another custom/fashion I wish would catch on in the hot desert of the USA.

I adopt representing 3 with thumb, index, and middle finger (German?), Instead of the usual index, middle, ring. This is easier for teaching my little girl as her hands muscle aren't fully developed yet and have a hard time controlling her ring finger.

Isn't that the thing from Inglorious Bastards?

Yes, from that bar scene.

It looks oddly asymmetrical, like weight is missing from one side but otherwise it's good for your hand I suppose.

Yeah, it look weird. Guess that's by it's not as popular, but while seeing my baby develop, I saw that they developed control over thumb and index, then middle. So, it's the quickest way to teach them to count up 3.

I've started doing it all the time now as well, as it's valid ASL and we have two hard of hearing children, one of which communicates primarily with sign.

I use my index finger and my pinky with my middle finger curling around my ring finger. As a white foreigner, I show them horizontally on the east coast of the US like an E and vertically on the west coast like a W to try to fit in better. ;)

I was what I think we would now call a "weeb" in my junior/senior year of high school, and had studied Japanese culture before making a short trip over there in the summer. One of the things I learned was that blowing your nose in public is seen as bad manners, and it really stuck with me. When you think about it, it is pretty gross to loudly blow snot into a tissue (bonus points for carrying a handkerchief!) in front of others, like (as an American) we'll just do this at the dinner table without batting an eye.

To this day, I try not to blow my nose in public places or in front of folks if I can avoid it, because it has grossed me out ever since learning how Japanese culture perceives it.

Wtf? That is super gross. I'm Canadian and I don't know anyone who would do it at the dinner table. I've seen my boss do it at his desk but he turns to face the corner next to his desk first.

Ime most people go to the washroom to do it, or at least make sure they're not near anyone else.

I'm American and I don't think anyone in my social circle would blow their nose at the dinner table. Yours might just be gross.

What do you think you're supposed to do after rating spicy buffalo wings that make your nose run?

Sure there's some settings where you don't do it (or do it quietly). Many restaurants are also loud enough that you won't even hear it unless you're listening to it.

Or, you’re an American who lives in a country/continent where there are a wide variety of people outside of your little bubble who have different backgrounds and different cultural norms that you’ve very likely never considered.

See, I can be demeaning too!

See, I can be demeaning too!

Good thing you explained what you were going for because it was kind of hard to follow.

You made an assertion about all americans:

like (as an American) we’ll just do this

and someone wished to dispute it based on their own experience.

You described a behaviour as gross and indicate that it is common in your social circles. How is it demeaning to says that your social circles are gross? @htrayl is agreeing with you

It seems to me to be worse manners to just leave your snot as leaking out or making you sniffle. Better to get it over with rather than make people listen to that for minutes to hours.

I am not Jewish, but I have adopted the practice of placing stones/pebbles on my parents' gravestone each time I visit.

Is that cleaned up or are there a pile there after a while?

It stays. It looks like a purposeful embellishment. For my own family's purpose, it acts as a physical record of me visiting often (because extended family is judgemental and believes that I am not visiting at all).

A few jump to mind.

I say No Worries quite a lot.

I use chopsticks as much as a fork at home.

I take my shoes off inside.

I'll order a Pint.

Chopsticks I do use whenever they are easier (noodles, salad) and also for eating potato chips. I leave my shoes on though, we have dogs, it's a lost cause. Roomba runs about 3 hours a day.

I've lived in Japan for a long time. I make a lot of Japanese noises now.

All I can think is you saying YAMETE KURASAI Onichan!!!! at random places

I never show the bottom of my shoe and think less of those who do. Learned this while traveling in Asia.

edit - Example of this is kicking my feet up on a stool at the local pub.

Never heard of this. What’s the reason behind Asian culture not showing the bottom of your shoes?

You are showing someone the bottom of your shoe as a means of saying they are "beneath" you. This is also true for middle eastern countries I believe.

It is common in the middle east, with some leeway. Like if someone is sitting diagonal to you such that your foot isn't directly facing them, it's okay. Unless its a professional meeting, then having your foot up is just disrespectful, but I imagine that goes for most countries.

Makes sense, thank you

Adding to this, stepping on something can be interpreted as similar. In a guide book for Thailand, it was advised that if a bank note falls on the ground, you should not step on it to stop it blowing away. Placing your foot on a picture of the king would be a sign of disrespect. You could get arrested!

Similarly, when sitting on the ground, say in a groupz you should ensure your feet aren't pointing at anyone else.

Reminds me of some folks in school who were horrified that others were sitting on tables/desks. The idea that you'd put your butt where someone would eat seen as highly disrespectful.

theres some old Russian proverb that civilization began with the tablecloth.

My wife and I celebrate White Day, or at least a version of it. She buys/makes a gift for me on Valentines, and I buy/make one for her a month later.

Doesn't really change much, but it's a fun little twist.

Interesting. I've always heard of a month after Valentine's as "steak and a blowjob" day.

I now use toilet paper.

I was raised in an extremely conservative Southern Baptist Christian tradition, but I often recite the Hail Mary and/or the first line of the Shema (in admittedly very poor Hebrew) when I pray. There's something about knowing that the same prayer has been prayed by millions and millions of humans through history that makes me feel more connected.

I don't get the hail mary. The our father would be baptist acceptable and should have been recited for longer given its in the bible specificallly.

It's a little smaller scale, but... I've been a mid-westerner my whole life. I stopped calling soda "pop" around 10 years ago. It just doesn't sound right to me anymore.

I eat mostly with chopsticks.

...which I totally mis-read as chapsticks and was wondering where you get chapsticks long enough to eat with 🤦‍♀️😅

Same with the shoes here. I take them off at my doorstep and carry them inside to the shoe rack. My floors stay spotless now as it’s surprising how much dirt they track inside.

I know some Asian cultures don’t even bring them in, leaving all the household’s shoes on the porch. I wish we did that in NA. Seems like a smart idea.

I got a bidet recently, and it's been a life changer. I guess they are becoming more popular now in America, but nobody had one growing up.

which one did you get? which features are essential? what to avoid?

I bought the Tushy. It's nothing crazy fancy, but works amazingly. It's one piece that you install between the water line and the tank of the toilet. Very quick install. For new users, I'd suggest keeping the water pressure low (the little knob you turn to activate it) that way you're not getting water up your butt when you're not expecting it. It's a weird sensation at first, but you quickly get used to it. Now I swear by having a bidet.

Weird as in I'm going to come from Poseidon tickling my butthole? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My partner and I have KFC for dinner every boxing day (in Japan, KFC is the standard Christmas dinner.)

Wow I just posted a comment that was for another thread by accident! My apologies.

I've adopted something called Kaizen and the 5S for manufacturing which is pretty much a philosophy of making things more convenient to reduce waste, time and energy doing something and making sure items are placed in the most efficient place possible.

I used to be pretty organized and it has been great following something like this.

I count with my thumb on my finger sections (what do you call them?) rather than my fingertips. So one hand comfortably counts to 12. (You can do a similar version, with a little more stretching, to count to 16... but I can't be bothered, and besides, I like 12.)

Did you learn this during a brief vacation in ancient babylonia?

Ever since this rusty Delorean got abandoned outside my cul-de-sac, I've enjoyed regular visits to ancient Babylonia.

The power of the superior base 6 system was within our palms this entire time?!

Two hands, base 12 the mostest superior

One hand for base 12; two for 24! Actually I just use one hand, so my left hand would probably become a second digit. 144 counts on my fingers ftw!

So many. I bow (learned from Japanese class). I wobble my head side to side, similar to South Asians, I have no idea why I started that, just feels normal now. I will often walk out of a room facing the room and close the door facing the room, learned from taekwondo. I'm sure there are so many more... I have this thing where I unconsciously mimic things.

My family have never lived in the Upper Midwest, and yet somehow I've picked up an accent that sounds like I'm from somewhere between Minneapolis and Toronto.

I blame Garrison Keillor, and maybe Moxy Früvous.

frequent use of westside gunn noises "ddddrrrrrrrrrr" "doot doot doot doot" "AAHHH"

im from chile

I learned to love sparkling water in Germany, I even bought myself a soda maker to always have carbonated drinks at home.

How could I adopt a practice from a culture that isn’t my own? What constitutes ownership of a culture other than its adoption, and what is culture other than a set of adopted practices?

Call your friend a cunt in America: people lose their shit.

Call your friend a cunt in the UK or Aussieland: Everyone laughs.

Culture is sometimes a very nuanced thing.

This seems unnecessarily pedantic given the harmlessness of cross-cultural pollination but I'll take the question in good faith.

Obviously all cultural practices are necessarily adopted from individuals, groups, and other cultures. What I mean is that some cultures have practices that differ from the ones that are commonplace in the ones you may have grown up in or currently live within. I'm asking about those practices, the ones that aren't necessarily homegrown or common in your own life.

So the culture one grew up in one’s “own” culture. Reasonable definition.

I grew up in Illinois. My mother made stollen each Christmas because she had encountered it in Germany as a traveling 20-something and she kept it.

It’s not my culture as an American, but as a member of my family it is my culture. This kind of thing is why I ask.

If you wanted to participate in the discussion with a less abrasive nature, you could share that story from your mother's perspeyand how it became your own personal culture.

However, I would consider it not to be your culture, but a family tradition. Your culture is more rooted in community than just your own family in my opinion.

I think if you open your mind a little you may discover someone challenging your beliefs can be helpful to a conversation.

That’s part of the culture I grew up in: arguing and challenging each other as part of talking. Feel free to try it out or adopt it.

You know I understand you. That was the way with me too. It took me a long time into adulthood to tone that down as I wasn't making friends and people seemed to think I was an asshole. It really sucked cause I seriously didn't mean any harm or disrespect, but most took it that way for some reason.

Now, after endless questioning of myself, I've learned to adapt to my audience.

I have a really hard time with it because it seems so non-spontaneous. What even is the point of discussing things without disagreement?

I see these conversations that are just people agreeing with each other and I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be a part of it.

But I don’t want to be alone.

Err, I don't see a point in disagreeing for the sake of it - I have a similar problem to you though. I get awkward or silent when I don't have anything original, new or even interesting to say, like you are uncomfortable with 'agreement'.

No I don’t disagree for the sake of it. Most conversations I agree with … but I don’t say it. It’s when I disagree genuinely, that I speak up.

Persuasion works best when you work off commonalities rather than differences. Though I understand you're trying to go for combative argumentation.

I know that. I’m a salesman. I don’t talk to my customers like I talk to people here, because when I’m talking to a customer my goal is persuasion.

I am very suspect of persuasion as a motivation for conversing socially. I can do it to make money, but who am I to think that others accepting my ideas is more important than honesty? I might be wrong! If I follow the safe path that makes everybody like me, when will I ever know that I’m wrong?

I’ve always been an outsider. Maybe I always will be, because this always nice stuff just seems slimy to me. It’s exactly how the villains in the cartoons I watched growing up behaved: everybody’s friend, always pleasant, saying the most popular thing.

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Mmmmm... stollen. Can't go without my stollen on Christmas and I'm American too.

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