We cater any event!

Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 906 points –
70

We really should start celebrating T u e s d a y s.

Tuesdays are the most productive day of the week. Not a time for celebration, its business time.

All the more reason to reduce productivity. Flatten the curve, lower expectations. Tuesday is the scab of weekdays. The other days need to strike.

German Tuesday (Dienstag) roughly translates as duty-day (Dienst-Tag), probably not etymologically, but still.

Etymologically, it derives in some way from the Norse-Germanic war god Tyr (akin to French "mardi", "day of mars", ig).

Ah yes, the war day. I wonder how many wars started on a Tuesday?

I know that World War I started on a Tuesday so that's 50% of all world wars right there.

could we celebrate wednesdays instead? tuesdays are my weekly catered drug intervention with my mother.

It wasn't Tuesday it was T u e s d a y. I am assuming it's like a normal Tuesday but in some uncanny valley creepy form.

Do you think they'd cater a horse funeral?

What?? NO! Don't be silly. Where did you even get such a crazy idea? Are you even serious right now??? I mean, I have no words... A horse funeral, who even does that!

Jim

Wait, what?

Jim is back in town?

Roll up all barrels from the cellar. Today, we feast and drink!

JIM?!?? Oh I have had enough of Jim. What an utter, complete... Wait. Which Jim are we talking about? It's not Jim with the big D is it? BRB

They do horse funerals and horse funerals, but I doubt they'd to horse funerals.

I love Obvious Plant

Honestly, if I ran a catering business I might put up the same sign. What's the worst that can happen? 3 horse funerals?

OOOHHHH so THAT'S where that pre-cracked egg comes from. I didn't know that was a whole joke account and store.

A catered quiet night alone sounds pretty dope actually.

Waiter comes up with a tray: pig in a blanket?

Me half stoned laying in bed: the fuck did you call me?

Another one comes around to gather your empty champagne glasses…

“This one’s still full, want me to leave it?”

“Nah, you can dump it. I wasn’t up for going to the toilet after being called a pig in a blanket…”

Catering companies would love to bring you food for 10 people and the plates to keep it warm for your quiet night alone. All you gotta do is pay.

Jim's coming back?!

This just unlocked one of my weirdest childhood memories. I played fastpitch softball as a kid, and at one away game the school's softball field was next to a pasture. During warmups and the first several innings, we watched a guy dig a hole in the pasture. In the second inning or so, we hear a gunshot off in the distance, and the third has a truck dragging a horse corpse to the big hole. The man shoved the horse corpse into the grave, and takes three innings to bury the horse.

At the team huddle after the game, one of my teammates said an eulogy for the horse.

I think we've made some great progress today, don't you? How does next Tuesday at 11 sound for our follow up.

That’s brutal…

I went to a middle school that sat next to a farm. A number of our athletic matches were canceled due to the cows getting out and one was canceled because the farmer shot a coyote on our baseball field & left it.

Careful. Read their reviews online and I'm not so sure about this place. They served deviled eggs at the return of Jim and everyone knew Jim hated eggs. Some people argued this was even why Jim left again and didn't stay returned.

"For You, The Day Bison Graced Your Village Was The Most Important Day Of Your Life. But For Me, It Was TUESDAY"

"You know you don't need to bring a dead horse every time you want catering right, Jim?"

“Jim has returned! But this time he brought us a live horse…. you think he’s still going to ask us to cater its funeral?”

If they bring a mariachi band I'm sold

It would be especially appropriate for a horse funeral were the animal was used to bring contraband over the Sierra Morena or was called Cielito Lindo

I just want mariachi band to play Y Los Cielos on the other side of the door when I'm trying to squeeze out a really tough one, but that would be rude to them and those years are past.

I would love for their to be a town somewhere where this was a very sensible sign and not humor at all.

Do they provide written material on 'How to beat a dead horse'?

Maybe a dummies guide?